Hell, the last thing I wanted was for her to thank me.

  “Don’t thank me,” I insisted. “I told you I needed the same thing. It’s been good for me. This is the happiest I’ve ever been, too. That offer is always going to stay open, Vanna. I want you to be happy. In the meantime, you still have healing to do. How do you feel after being on a horse half the day?”

  I tried to make sure that the stables gave her a plodder with absolutely no enthusiasm to get up and go because her ribs and shoulder were still healing. But she’d seemed to enjoy herself anyway.

  “I feel amazing,” she said enthusiastically. “The outdoors definitely agrees with me, but I’ll probably hurt in places I didn’t before when I wake up tomorrow. It’s been a while since I’ve been on a horse. Nothing some ibuprofen won’t take care of, though. I wouldn’t have missed it for the world.”

  Me, either. Just watching the happy glow on her cheeks had been worth riding a second plodder that would stay on pace with hers.

  “No pain from riding?” I questioned.

  “None,” she reassured me. “My ribs and shoulder have only been a dull ache once in a while for days now.”

  “Physical injuries are usually the first to heal,” I told her. “What about some of the other issues?”

  “I still only remember little pieces of what happened after the first day or so,” she confided. “My therapist said I may never remember more than that because I was so heavily drugged. Little pieces of my memory fall back in occasionally. I think they started pumping me with more and more drugs over time so they didn’t have to deal with me. I also don’t recall much of what was said between my kidnappers after I was drugged. I understand Spanish fairly well, but I wouldn’t say I’m fluent enough to a have a long conversation on complicated topics.”

  “More fluent than me,” I replied. “We grew up speaking French with Dad, but my Spanish is pretty limited. There’s no hard and fast rule about what you should and shouldn’t remember, sweetheart. You just have to be able to deal with what you do recall. You were drugged pretty heavily. It’s not surprising that you don’t remember a whole lot.”

  “I think I’m slowly making peace with that,” she said thoughtfully. “At first, it really bothered me that I had no idea what happened to most of that week, but I’m starting to think I’m better off without those memories. My therapist is probably right. One of the few conversations I remember was when my kidnappers were trying to decide whether to kill me or keep me alive after they realized that it was going to be hard to traffic me like a normal female. I don’t think I’ll ever forget how damn helpless I felt, Chase. My fate was in the hands of four criminals and there was nothing I could do to save myself.”

  I buried my hand into her silky locks and stroked her scalp. “Fuck! Why didn’t you tell me you remembered that, Vanna?”

  “The conversation just came back to me a few days ago, and I haven’t had a chance. Besides, I’ve had better things to focus on. Like finding my joie de vivre.”

  Shit! I knew I’d definitely found mine, I just wasn’t sure I could keep it.

  I cradled her head against my chest as I asked gruffly, “Have you found it yet?”

  I tightened my arm around her, trying not to crush her.

  Jesus! I felt the need to protect this woman suddenly roar through every cell in my body.

  The instinct was so elemental and primordial that I closed my eyes, reminding myself that she was already safe.

  No one was ever going to hurt her again.

  Ever.

  My fucking chest was aching when she finally murmured, “You know, I’m pretty sure that I have.”

  Savannah

  Panic filled my entire being as I opened my eyes and saw nothing but darkness.

  Lights? Where are the lights?

  I sat up, trying to clear my head so I could think.

  I’m fine. I’m in Big Bear with Chase. I’m perfectly safe.

  I nearly jumped out of my skin as I heard something rattle outside.

  It’s just the wind, Vanna. Calm the hell down.

  I took a few deep breaths, wondering what had happened to the lights I’d left on in the bathroom.

  Since the kidnapping, I never slept in the dark.

  I couldn’t.

  Reaching toward the side table, I fumbled to open the small drawer and pulled out a very tiny flashlight I’d seen there before I’d gone to bed.

  I frowned once I turned it on.

  “Better than nothing,” I said to myself as I scrambled from the bed.

  I probably should have been cold since I was dressed in a sleepshirt that barely covered my ass, but I wasn’t.

  I was too busy worrying about the fact that all the lights were off.

  The illumination the baby flashlight gave off was minimal, just barely enough to see the floor in front of me as I walked toward the bathroom.

  “It’s fine. Everything is fine,” I chanted to myself as I put my hand on the bathroom light switch to turn it on.

  It seemed almost impossible that I’d forgotten to turn the lights on, but I’d been exhausted by the time Chase and I had finally retreated to our rooms.

  I hit the light switch.

  Click. Click. Click.

  Nothing.

  Dammit!

  The bathroom lights weren’t working.

  “You’re fine, Vanna. Everything is fine. Everything is fine.” I kept saying those words like a mantra, like by saying them, it would make everything okay.

  My heart was racing, and I couldn’t seem to take a deep breath.

  Shit! I hated the dark.

  Unfortunately, there was plenty of that here in this room at the moment.

  Chase?

  I should…check on him, right?

  Something was obviously wrong.

  My feet took me to his room as fast as the miniscule flashlight would allow.

  Really, it wasn’t far since he was right next door.

  I pushed his bedroom door open without a second thought.

  “Chase?” I called out once the door was open. “Are you okay?”

  “I was all good until you decided to bellow at me,” Chase said in a sleepy but teasing voice.

  “What are you doing?” I said in a tense voice.

  “It’s nearly four am, Vanna. I was asleep. What do you think I’m doing? Having a party?” he asked wryly.

  “It’s dark, Chase. Really dark. I’m sorry. The lights aren’t working. I know it’s late. I didn’t mean to wake you. I was just—”

  “Wait. Stay there,” Chase ordered, sounding suddenly very awake.

  I knew he had heard the sheer panic in my voice, but I didn’t care.

  “Not. Moving,” I said, my entire body trembling.

  Breathe, Vanna. Just freaking breathe. The darkness isn’t going to kill you.

  I heard Chase rustling around while he said, “The power is out. We’re getting a shitload of snow overnight. It happens sometimes.”

  He was beside me in another heartbeat.

  “I don’t like it when it’s completely dark,” I said in a weak voice I hardly recognized.

  “Then I guess we’re having a slumber party,” he said reassuringly as he picked me up and carried me to the bed. “Get in. Your whole body is shaking. Are you cold?”

  I scrambled under the covers, finding the spot that was still warm from Chase’s body. “I-I don’t think so,” I stammered.

  “Then why are your teeth chattering?” he asked as he slid in, pulled the covers over both of us, and wrapped his arms around me. “Christ! Your feet are cold, Vanna. I knew we lost power, but I figured you’d sleep through it.”

  “I woke up,” I told him, my voice quivering. “It was dark. I always leave the light on, Chase. It was off.”

  I swung my leg over him and tried to claw my way closer. I knew I was trying to crawl up his body, but I couldn’t help myself.

  He was warm.

  He was safe.

  He was Chase, and the only thing keeping me from losing it.

  “If I would have known that you were afraid of the dark, I would have come to you as soon as I realized the power was off,” he growled as he pulled my body flush against his. “Why the fuck didn’t you tell me, Vanna? I’m your advisor. I should know about these things.”

  My heartbeat started to slow as I absorbed Chase’s warmth and the hardness of his body beneath me.

  I took a deep breath. “What was I supposed to say? That I was afraid of the dark like a three-year-old? It’s embarrassing. But it’s something that hasn’t gone away after the kidnapping.”

  “It’s perfectly understandable, Vanna. Jesus! Did you really think I wouldn’t understand?” His voice sounded annoyed, but he was running a soothing hand up and down my back.

  I started to relax as I pleaded, “Don’t be mad. The only one who knows is my counselor. I find it absolutely mortifying that I have to sleep with the bathroom light on every night. I’m a grown woman for God’s sake. I don’t ever remember being afraid of the dark, even as a child. It’s not rational. I know my kidnappers aren’t coming to get me.”

  “Fear isn’t always rational, baby,” he said in his low, slow, fuck-me baritone that I adored. “But that doesn’t mean it’s not there. Yours was born from trauma, Vanna. You were obviously terrified. If you would have told me, you never would have woken up in the dark alone.”

  “That’s the first time it’s happened,” I admitted, my voice muffled because my face was buried in Chase’s neck. “I always leave the bathroom light on. As long as it’s not pitch dark when I wake up, I’m okay.”

  My body was now completely relaxed, and the dark was no longer scary because Chase was here now.

  “Or if you have company,” he said, amused.

  “I don’t exactly run around climbing into other people’s beds,” I said drily. “Well, not under usual circumstances.”

  “Sweetheart, feel free to crawl into mine any time you’re afraid of the dark,” he said in a gruff baritone that vibrated through my entire body.

  I blew off the flirty comment. I’d gotten used to them. I was convinced that compliments rolled off Chase’s tongue pretty easily.

  Not that I didn’t want to think he was attracted to me, but I knew he wasn’t.

  I slowly loosened the choke hold I had around his neck as I asked, “Can you breathe? I’m sorry.”

  I wasn’t sure what he was wearing, but he was covered. I was pretty sure he’d been hastily putting something on when he’d jumped out of bed.

  It felt like a soft cotton thermal shirt and flannel bottoms.

  God, did I really want to think about the fact that he might sleep naked?

  No. No, I probably shouldn’t.

  Even though I appreciated his tantalizingly masculine scent and every hard muscle of his body, I felt guilty for flinging myself over him.

  I started to pull my leg off him.

  “Don’t,” he said huskily as he put a hand on my bare thigh to keep me from backing off. “Stay. I’ll take care of you, Vanna. Do you want me to start a fire in the fireplace? I’m not sure why the damn generator didn’t kick in, but I’ll check on that tomorrow. It probably needs to be replaced.”

  “No,” I said in a sleepy voice. “I’m fine now, and you throw off plenty of body heat.”

  The house was warm enough. The power hadn’t been out that long.

  “Are you really okay?” he questioned suspiciously. “Is there anything else you need to tell me?”

  “No. That’s it. I only get terrified when I wake up in the pitch dark all alone,” I said with a sigh. “You know everything else.”

  And, oh yeah, by the way, you’re the most amazing man I’ve ever met and I’m dying to get you naked.

  Okay. Yeah. That was the one secret he was never going to discover.

  My body ached with a desire that only Chase could satiate, but I wasn’t willing to give up this kind of closeness with him, either.

  Not yet.

  I couldn’t.

  Even though my addiction to being with him was getting rawer and rawer.

  I was attracted to more than just his hot body and gorgeous face.

  Even though I’d spent a lot of time with him this week, he still fascinated me.

  Honestly, maybe I was never going to completely understand him, but I felt him. I got him, and in some ways, I was pretty sure he got me, too.

  Even when I was afraid of the dark.

  “Sleep, Vanna,” Chase rasped beside my ear. “The weather should clear up in the morning. In the meantime, I’m not going anywhere.”

  “Thank you,” I whispered fiercely. “Thank you for being here for me, even when I’m feeling like a three-year-old.”

  “I’m not going to let you be embarrassed in the morning about this,” he said in a warning voice.

  I smiled into the darkness.

  Yep. He definitely got me like no other guy ever would.

  Chase

  “I heard Vanna’s apartment hunting,” Wyatt said several weeks later as we finished up on some work issues in his office. “How are you feeling about that?”

  I lifted a brow. “Torie told you?”

  He nodded. “Who else?”

  “Honestly, I fucking hate it,” I replied. “But I’ve run out of excuses to keep her with me. The doctors have released her physically, and she really doesn’t need me as her advisor anymore. She stays on top of her counseling herself, and she goes into the studio every day now to finish the Darien Gap project narration, so she’s back to work, too.”

  Vanna had decided to return to Deadline America for now since she was feeling better about her job and life in general.

  She was going to try to write pieces on the side to see if she could get them published.

  She’d also decided on an apartment for the time being, until she knew exactly where her career was headed.

  While I hadn’t been thrilled with those decisions, I understood them. I just hoped she got out of Deadline America sooner rather than later. It would kill me to watch her go out on another assignment.

  Hell, I didn’t want her to go, but I couldn’t force her to keep living with me if she wanted her own place.

  The two of us had fallen into a pleasant routine, even after we’d spent that memorable week together.

  I’d gone back to my office, and Vanna had spent her time writing her piece after our week together. She’d spent the rest of her recovery time writing her story about the Darien Gap that she thought no one was ever going to read or publish.

  She’d taken over the responsibility of planning dinner during that time because she was home.

  I was pretty sure I’d never been so eager to leave the office on time to get home for dinner.

  We ate, drank our wine on the patio, played an occasional game of chess or watched movies neither one of us had gotten a chance to see after dinner every night.

  Things hadn’t changed much since she’d gone back to work at the studio.

  Whoever got home first started dinner.

  On the weekends, we still played. Either with family or on our own, but we never forgot how to drop work for a time and just enjoy life.

  “How about you tell her that you’re crazy about her?” Wyatt suggested gruffly. “That should work.”

  “She doesn’t feel that way about me,” I snapped. “We’re close. As close as two people can be without sleeping together. But she still thinks of me as an honorary big brother, Wyatt. A friend.”

  Fuck! I was starting to hate that word.

  “Bullshit,” he answered firmly. “I was at that impromptu barbeque that Torie threw last weekend. I saw it. Hudson, Jax, and Cooper saw it. You two might as well be sleeping together judging by the longing in Savannah’s eyes. There’s a hell of a lot more than friendship there, brother. I think you’re the only one who doesn’t see it. And you know it has to be punching me in the face for me to recognize it. I’m not exactly intuitive when it comes to romance.”

  I smirked. “Some woman is going to come along some day and knock you on your ass. Then you won’t be so damn cynical anymore.”

  He shot me a doubtful look. “Almost forty. Hasn’t happened yet. I’m not exactly holding my breath. I’m not cut out for long-term relationships, and I’m happy that way. If I had to walk around with a despondent expression like yours because I was crazy about someone, I’d probably want to kill myself. I’ll skip that kind of misery, thanks.”

  Sometimes I really preferred it when Wyatt was quiet instead of being a sarcastic asshole. “Then why are you pushing me to confess how I feel to Vanna?”

  He raised a brow. “Because you’re pathetically depressed that she’s leaving and I don’t like to see you or Torie unhappy. Just marry the woman and get it over with. Torie seems perfectly content in her wedded state of bliss.”

  “You can’t just fix everything that easily, Wyatt,” I rumbled. “These are human emotions we’re talking about. I know you have a few of them underneath all that bullshit.”

  “It was a perfectly good solution,” he replied. “You’re crazy about her. She’s crazy about you. You’ve already done the trial run of living together, so you know the two of you can cohabitate without making each other insane. What else is there to know?”

  I shot him an irritated look. “It’s not that easy when you’re crazy about someone who doesn’t feel the same way. Yes, I admit, Vanna is fond of me. But that’s where it stops.”

  “Has being in love affected your intellect, too?” Wyatt asked drily. “Look at the woman once in a while. She doesn’t want it to stop. When it comes to you, I’d say she’s more than willing to take things to the next level. I have to wonder if it’s really her slamming on the brakes, or if it’s you.”

  “She hasn’t said a word—”

  “Have you?” Wyatt interrupted. “She’s been through a lot, Chase. She’s scarred. No doubt she’s still trying to get her head together, even though she seems okay.”