I didn’t even want to acknowledge the ridiculous amount of relief I felt after his answer.

  Shit! Now what could I say?

  He was right. Really, I had nowhere else to go at the moment. Before the kidnapping, I’d been planning to get back to San Diego perfectly healthy and finally find a new place as soon as possible.

  Getting kidnapped, injured, and sick had screwed up those plans completely.

  I was so weak right now I could barely get out of bed to pee, much less go traipsing around San Diego trying to find a new home.

  I was sensible. I did need time to recover. I just didn’t want to be a burden to Chase after all he’d done for me.

  Honestly, our relationship had changed. I really couldn’t say he wasn’t a friend anymore. Not after all he’d gone through with me during the last few weeks.

  Unfortunately, the friendship was pretty one-sided at this point. Really, what had I done to help him?

  “I’ll try not to be too much trouble,” I conceded reluctantly. “As soon as I’m well enough, I’ll start looking for my own place. I should have done that a long time ago.”

  I startled when Chase gently wrapped his larger hand around mine. “You’ll never be an inconvenience, Vanna. I’d be honored to be a friend and advisor to you. You didn’t ask for this. You were just trying to do your job. It never should have happened.”

  I savored the warmth of physical contact as I let out an anxious breath. Chase had become my support, both physically and mentally. I had no idea how to break that habit, and I wasn’t sure I wanted to right now. “Oh, God, my crew.”

  Jen, my producer, was probably worried to death, along with the rest of the small crew I’d had with me in Bajo Chiquito.

  “Your producer was frantic,” Chase confirmed. “Everyone who works close to you at Deadline America was relieved to find out that you were going to be okay. Marshall didn’t tell them much. Just that you got lost, and had been kidnapped in the jungle. He also said that you’d later been found by hikers after you’d escaped your kidnappers and that you’d been sent to Panama City to recover. That’s the cover story. We’ll work out the details of how you got lost later.”

  “I’m not sure that Jen will completely buy the fact that I got lost,” I told him skeptically. “She’s been my producer for years. We follow a lot of safety protocols that don’t include being stupid enough to wander away from our base station after dark.”

  He squeezed my hand as he said, “You’d be surprised at how creative Marshall can be when it comes to making up believable cover stories. He’ll twist it until it suits your personality. Trust me.”

  “You’re right,” I agreed. “That’s probably the least of my worries.”

  “No worries,” Chase insisted. “We will work everything out. We’ve gotten very good at covering our asses on the details.”

  “I have a job to do, Chase,” I said regretfully. “I have to do narration in the studio to fill in gaps for this special report about the Darien Gap before it’s finished. I was done with all my interviews, and we were actually getting ready to leave for the States the following day, but it’s not ready to air yet.”

  “That can wait until you’re healthy,” Chase grumbled. “Relax, Vanna. Are you worried about money? If you are, I can—”

  “No!” I said hastily. “It’s not the money. I’m fine financially.”

  I’d made good money over the years, and I’d just sold my mother’s house not long ago. Cable news didn’t pay me like I was an A-list movie star, but I had more than enough money in the bank to sustain me for now.

  “Then what are you worried about?” Chase inquired gently.

  Tears began to roll down my cheeks as I whimpered, “I don’t know. This whole experience just feels overwhelming right now. I’m anxious about everything, and that’s not like me.”

  I felt weak, raw, and vulnerable.

  I felt completely unable to bury my emotions when I was around Chase, and that was terrifying for me.

  He let go of my hand and wrapped a strong arm around my waist. “It’s totally normal for you to feel that way,” he informed me huskily. “You’ve been through hell, sweetheart, emotionally and physically.”

  God, I really loved it when he called me by some of his sweet pet names, even though I knew it was just a friendship comfort thing.

  I really was pathetic.

  I let out a long, anxious breath, leaned my head against his shoulder and savored the feel of his warm, strong body as he cradled me against him.

  For now, I’d allow myself to take comfort in Chase’s friendship and confidence that things would be all right and that I’d get through this.

  I didn’t have the strength to do anything else.

  If he wanted to be my friend and my advisor, I’d accept that because I needed that more than I needed to obsess about my attraction to him. Besides, sex was the last thing on my mind at the moment.

  “Talk to me, Vanna,” Chase encouraged as he stroked my hair.

  “I remember so little about what happened, Chase. I can recall what happened the day of the kidnapping, and how I was taken right after I came out of the shower area. It was so warm that day, and I spent more time in the shower than I should have. But it was right next to our sleeping quarters, so I didn’t have to walk more than a few steps to get to the stairs that led up to the small building we were occupying. Everything happened so fast. Night was falling and they came up behind me. One of them slapped a hand over my mouth before I could scream for help. Another one punched me until I was so dazed I couldn’t even think. I had no choice but to start walking into the jungle with them. It was more like they were carrying me than me actually walking when we left Bajo Chiquito.”

  “How did your feet get so torn up?” he asked.

  I cringed. My feet were a mess, although they were much better than they had been.

  “Once I realized exactly what was happening, I tried to escape several times. I knew if I didn’t, I was going to die or be trafficked until I wished I was dead. I wasn’t sure I cared if they shot me. So they took my boots. I had to walk through the jungle without them. It was daylight before we got to their makeshift camp,” I explained, the terror I’d felt rushing back to me. “When they tried to tie me up before tossing me into a tent, I tried to make my escape again, boots or no boots. I knew it was my last chance. It didn’t take them long to catch me and yank my arms together to finish tying me up. That’s when my shoulder got dislocated. They beat me until I lost consciousness. When I came to after that, they started to drug me. I’d wake up occasionally, but the moment they knew I was conscious, they’d kick me around and drug me again. Other than those brief moments when I woke up so thirsty I was ready to beg for water, everything else is a blank. They gave me just enough water to stay alive, and I started losing track of time. By the time you and Wyatt came, I was so confused that I wasn’t sure if you were there to help me or to finish me off.”

  “It’s not unusual for you to think that,” he replied as I cuddled closer to his warmth. “Captives are often kept as weak and confused as possible so they don’t resist.”

  “Will I ever remember more?” I asked apprehensively. “I hate not knowing what happened. It’s like I lost an entire week of my life. I don’t even know if they sexually assaulted me. The doctor said he saw no evidence that it happened, but he wasn’t one hundred percent certain. They gave me preventative drugs and I’m still on antibiotics, but it will be a few months before they can definitively rule out HIV or hepatitis from a possible assault or dirty needles.”

  “I don’t know if you’ll remember anything else. Because of the large amount of drugs they gave you, it’s possible that you won’t,” he said frankly. “And it’s unlikely that you were sexually assaulted by those assholes if it wasn’t evident. The way they treated you was brutal.”

  I was quiet as I let his words sink in.

  “Thank you for being honest,” I finally answered.

  Ugly or not, I could count on Chase to be truthful. He’d been that way since day one, which was a huge relief to me because I preferred brutal honesty to bullshit right now.

  “I told you I wouldn’t lie to you,” he reminded me. “Sometimes not knowing is scarier than getting the truth.”

  Exactly!

  “Honestly,” I said, my voice cracking with emotion. “I’ve never been so terrified. I’ve stepped into some of the most dangerous situations on the planet, but this is the first time I had no idea what to do.”

  It wasn’t easy for me to admit that, but I knew Chase wasn’t going to judge.

  “Which is exactly why you need an advisor,” he interjected. “It won’t be this way forever, Vanna. It will just take a while to get back on your feet again. You’re intelligent and entirely capable of taking care of yourself, but it’s difficult to reason things out alone after you’ve been through something like this. That’s why Last Hope has support services available long after a rescue is healed physically.”

  I had to admit that I was still having a hard time wrapping my head around a private rescue organization as sophisticated as Last Hope.

  Or the fact that five filthy rich billionaires chose to dedicate most of their spare time to running that rescue organization.

  Then again, maybe I shouldn’t be all that surprised.

  I didn’t know the Montgomerys well, but the Durand family had never been pretentious or selfish. They’d always chosen love, duty, and family over money.

  There had been absolutely no reason for Chase and Wyatt to go into the military. They’d always known that they would take over Durand Industries someday.

  They’d gone simply because they wanted to serve their country.

  Torie’s father had been uneasy about his sons’ safety, but he’d also never stopped talking about how proud he was of both of them.

  “I think I’m pretty lucky to have you as my advisor,” I said sincerely.

  This side of Chase was utterly unfamiliar to me, but it was one I really wanted to get to know, attraction or no attraction.

  For years, I’d tried to keep things superficial and light between the two of us.

  I’d avoided getting to really know the man he’d become after we’d both grown up.

  Now, I regretted not allowing myself to get any closer to a guy who was obviously worth knowing, even if it was difficult because I was attracted to him.

  Maybe that’s what happened when you got within a hair’s breadth of dying. I knew I was probably going to start rethinking a lot of choices I’d made.

  “You might say you’re lucky to have me as an advisor now, but you may think I’m a pain in your ass in the future,” he warned jokingly. “I’ll be checking in with you a lot.”

  I yawned against his shoulder, suddenly feeling completely exhausted.

  Chase slid off the headboard until his head was on the pillow, gently taking me down with him until my head was on his chest. “Sleep, Vanna,” he rumbled. “Rest is your number one priority right now. Do you need something for pain?”

  I shook my head as I closed my eyes. “No. Not right now.”

  I almost purred like a contented cat as Chase stroked a hand over my hair.

  I’d much rather savor being this close to Chase without dulling my brain with pain medications.

  Savannah

  “I still look really horrible,” I told Torie two weeks later as we both viewed my recent haircut in the bathroom mirror. I ran my hand through what hair I had left with a sigh. “I do feel better though. Thank you for finding someone to cut my hair.”

  The angry looking lacerations on my face would eventually fade, but they’d always be visible. Chase had gotten me the best doctor available to try to repair those facial wounds in Panama, but they’d been days old and awkward cuts.

  Torie had found a stylist to come cut my hair today because it was a mess. It had still been matted and tangled, even though I’d tried everything to fix it.

  I’d finally given up and just asked the beautician to cut it right beneath my jawline in a shorter bob.

  “It’s adorable,” Torie said with a smile. “It suits you. It’s very sassy.”

  I rolled my eyes. I was glad I looked that way, but I didn’t exactly feel like my old self again. “It’s healthy,” I emphasized. “And there’s not a thing I can do about these scars.” I traced one of those marks from the top of my cheek to where it ended beneath my chin.

  Torie took my hand and led me into my bedroom at Chase’s place. She sat and pulled me down beside her on the bed as she said, “I know how you feel. I remember feeling like my wounds would never heal. But they will, Vanna. You look so much better than you did two weeks ago.”

  I tried very hard not to whine too much since Torie had been through much worse, but I really did still feel horrible.

  I snorted. “I’ve definitely gained some weight back. More than I need to, really. You never told me that your brother could cook.”

  Torie snickered. “Mom made both of them cook, clean, and do laundry as teenagers. She used to say there was nothing less attractive than a man who couldn’t take care of himself. Honestly, I think Chase might be a better cook than I am. He actually enjoyed it. Wyatt cooks simply because he really likes to eat.”

  “He makes the most amazing crepes,” I told her.

  “That he learned from my father,” Torie shared. “I don’t think Dad ever met a crepe he didn’t love, savory or sweet.”

  “I’ve had plenty of both, and the size of my ass is going to start showing it pretty soon,” I informed her wistfully.

  Torie frowned. “You’re still lighter than you were before the kidnapping.”

  “Not for long if your brother keeps making those crepes,” I joked. “When I told him that I couldn’t possibly eat another crepe, he moved on to chicken stew and quiche. Honestly, everything he cooks is delicious, but I probably need a few salad nights. We’re going to start sharing cooking duties. It’s not like I’m working, and I’d really like to do something useful to help him.”

  “Those were also my dad’s recipes,” Torie confided. “He did love his French dishes, and so did we. Mom was more into American comfort food, which we definitely didn’t mind, either.”

  “I remember,” I told her fondly.

  As wealthy as the Durand family was, they’d never had a cook. They made preparing an evening meal a family affair, and I’d been lucky enough to be included many times.

  “You should just let him cook,” Torie insisted. “Aren’t you still doing physical therapy on your shoulder?”

  I nodded. “I’ll be done pretty soon. I have to baby it a little, but it’s fine. Really. I need something to do to keep me busy.”

  The more idle I was, the more time I had to think, and none of those thoughts were positive at the moment.

  “Please don’t try to tell me you aren’t working,” Torie cautioned. “I saw you on your computer when I got here earlier.”

  I shrugged. “I’m just working on some of the voiceover narration text I need to do on the Darien Gap special.”

  “Do you ever stop working?” Torie asked in an exasperated tone.

  “Not very often,” I admitted. “But I love being a journalist, so it’s not all work for me.”

  “You need to rest, Vanna, and that includes giving your mind a break. You need something to occupy your brain outside of work for a while,” she advised. “That story is really important, but also very depressing.”

  “My counselor said the same thing,” I said. “But I’m not sure she completely understands that work has always been the main thing on my mind. I’ve had to work really hard to get to where I am in my career.”

  “You’re already successful, Vanna,” Torie reminded me. “You can take some time off. Don’t you ever get tired of spending your entire life working?”

  I was silent for a moment before I finally answered truthfully, “I used to thrive on it, but I’m not so sure I always do anymore. I think I’m a little burned out. This particular story was heartbreaking. What those children had been through just getting to Bajo Chiquito was horrific. Some of them had lost their parents or siblings during the crossing, and some of the females were sexually assaulted. And they were just kids, Torie.”

  She took my hand. “You mostly cover humanitarian crises, Vanna. Anyone would be burned out from a decade of making those kinds of stories their life’s work with nothing else pleasant in between.”

  I nodded because I knew Torie understood. “There’s no joy in my life anymore, Torie. Right before I left for Panama, I tried to remember the last time I’d done something fun and failed miserably. I know I’m doing something important by telling these stories, but my job has also eaten part of my soul because every one of those stories is about human misery. Living out of a suitcase all the time gets exhausting, too.”

  At one time, that travel and thirst for a story had motivated me.

  Lately, I was beginning to dread starting a new assignment right after the last one was finished.

  She squeezed my hand. “You don’t need anyone’s permission to rest right now, Vanna, and I’m not talking about sleeping. I know you’re tired of doing that. I know how traumatic it is to be kidnapped. Take that piece of your soul back. Make use of Chase’s pool that he never uses. Watch a marathon of movies in his theater room. Take a glass of wine and watch the sunset. It really is okay to do…nothing important. You don’t have to be saving the world every moment that you’re awake. Save your sanity instead. If you don’t take a break, I guarantee that job will eat the rest of your soul. No matter how strong you are, the trauma of what happened to you will catch up with you if you don’t deal with it.”

  “You know I don’t remember that much,” I said weakly, knowing she was right.

  “What you do remember is bad enough,” Torie said, her expression troubled. “I also know how difficult it can be to wait a few months to make sure you’re clear of STDs, hepatitis, and HIV.”

  “But they don’t think—”