“Why didn’t you tell me once we got here? Or after we’d already performed every possible sex act together?” I asked, unable to keep the hurt out of my voice.

  I knew Damian, and I understood why he’d never wanted to break his promise. For a guy like him, his word was even more serious than a written contract, especially when he gave it to someone he obviously loved.

  “I think my motivations were entirely selfish by that time,” Damian said morosely. “I was afraid you’d walk away. No matter how many excuses I came up with, that’s the truth.”

  The icy wall I’d erected around my heart over the last few hours cracked just a little. I knew Damian had to be telling me the truth about Dylan. It was really the only thing that made sense, even if the story did sound completely crazy.

  I’d been confused when I’d seen Dylan in bed with that woman because I’d thought I knew the real Damian. Him hopping into bed with another female during his mother’s gala had been so contrary to the man I’d come to know and love. If I hadn’t seen it for myself, I never would have believed it.

  None of the bad stuff is Damian’s doing. Well, except the lying. That’s pretty bad.

  I felt like the last piece of the Lancaster puzzle was falling into place. Everything that hadn’t seemed like Damian hadn’t really been Damian. It had been a man who wasn’t Damian at all.

  I took a deep breath and let it out before I asked, “Why have I never seen any sign that you have a twin? Nothing. I did a deep dive on the internet for the last few years, and there’s no mention of him at all.”

  “I paid a pretty savvy company a ton of money to make Dylan disappear from the internet two years ago.” Every word coming from Damian’s voice was pulsating with regret. “I knew bringing you here was a risk, but I tried to make damn sure that you didn’t talk to anybody who would mention Dylan’s name at those charity events we attended. I told you at the gala that we needed to talk after it was over. I’ve known for a while now that I couldn’t take the risk of you finding out the truth from anybody but me.”

  I sat there silent for a moment, trying to take in just how much work it must have taken to pull off this entire ruse. “So the PR agent actually got played,” I said in a husky whisper.

  “Not intentionally,” Damian rushed to assure me. “All this started long before you, Nicole. I made my brother a promise when he was at the weakest point of his life, and I meant to keep it. I’ve been putting out fires for Dylan for the last two years by either squashing any press information or letting people think it was me and not Dylan who pulled some asinine stunts. If I took the blame, those small articles were eventually deleted. But I knew I couldn’t resolve the naked orgy thing that easily. It was front-page news way too fast, and big social media news by the end of the day.”

  Jesus! It was going to take me a long time to work all of this out in my head.

  “I believe you,” I said on a sigh. “Honestly, as unbelievable as it sounds, it’s the only thing that really makes any sense. I just wish you would have trusted me enough to tell me the truth once we got here to England. I take it that Bella and Leo were in on the deception, too?”

  He shifted in his seat uncomfortably. “Yes. I’m sorry. Everyone at Hollingsworth House knew not to mention Dylan’s name, too, but they didn’t know why. Please don’t blame either one of them. Mum adores you, and so does Leo. In their defense, they both hated the fact that you were in the dark about Dylan.”

  “In the end, they’re your family, Damian. If nothing else, I’ve definitely discovered that the Lancaster family is loyal to their own blood.” Damian was the perfect example of that. He’d supported Dylan at the cost of his own reputation, and I knew how annoying it was for him to be in the public eye, even for good PR. “Why is it that nobody suspected Dylan?”

  Damian shrugged his shoulders. “I think everyone assumed he was keeping a really low profile to mourn his loss, and get through it. It was probably a lot easier to believe it was me.”

  “Even though you’ve never done anything like that before?”

  “Truthfully, neither has Dylan. At least, he hasn’t as far as the general public knew. I owe you for everything you’ve done, Nicole. I’d much rather be a smitten billionaire duke than a man-whore.”

  I locked eyes with him, and even though he was smiling ruefully over his joke, I could see the inherent hurt in those expressive green eyes. “Dylan’s hurt you. A lot.”

  He nodded, not even trying to hide the truth. “He has, but he crossed the line this time. He hurt you, and that’s totally unacceptable to me. I’m done covering for him, and trying to protect him. It’s been two years. I’ve given him his space and time to work everything out. He’s on his own if he wants to keep acting like a wanker. I have to learn to accept that I’ve done all I can. The ball is in his court now.”

  There was an uncomfortable silence for a few seconds before I broke it. “Thank you for coming here to explain everything. It doesn’t fix what happened, but it helps me understand it better. I’m glad that I wasn’t exactly sleeping with the devil.”

  Damian stood. “Don’t leave like this, Nicole. Not now. And for God’s sake, not in the economy section of my airline. The seats definitely weren’t made for tall people like us. Come home with me. I’ll fly you back across the pond myself if that’s what you really want, but you look exhausted right now. Let’s sleep on this. Let me show you all of the pictures and videos I have of my family, and give you a chance to meet with Mum and Leo. My little brother is insisting now that he won’t leave until he gets to talk to you, and make sure you’re okay.”

  As I looked up at Damian’s tormented expression, I was tempted to accept. I felt physically and emotionally spent, and I wasn’t sure I’d gotten all the information I wanted to get complete closure.

  Maybe I’d never quite get over Damian, but I needed to try. If I didn’t, I’d be completely scarred for life.

  I wavered. Maybe I should go with him. I did leave everything at his place, even my laptop.

  “Come. With. Me.” His voice was little more than a growl as he held out his hand. “Please.”

  It was that damn “please” word that really tempted me to take Damian’s hand. He was a man who probably never had to ask for anything, but he had. For…me.

  I let him pull me to my feet. “I’m not sleeping with you, Damian. Our fling is officially over.”

  He grinned, and my heart rolled over inside my chest. “You are technically occupying the second suite at my house. But I must warn you that the shower isn’t nearly as good as mine.”

  I rolled my eyes. “I need you to promise that you won’t try to charm me out of my panties.”

  “Full disclosure in the interest of keeping everything honest with you from this day forward; I won’t push terribly hard, but don’t expect me not to try to change your mind.”

  I gathered up my phone and charging cord. I’d picked up the bag containing my clothes from earlier in the day and then…I panicked.

  I can’t do this! I can’t do this! No matter how much I needed more closure, I couldn’t spend another moment alone with Damian.

  Being with him for even one more day would probably completely destroy me.

  I loved him too damn much, and my heart was too fragile right now.

  “I’m sorry.” My voice sounded raw, and the dam that held back my tears of pain opened wide again. “I can’t do this. I can’t go with you. I’m already broken.”

  “Jesus Christ! Don’t cry, Nicole.” Damian’s tone was tender and rough. “Just come home with me. I’ll make all of this right. You’re not broken, love.”

  “I am.” My words came out in a strangled sob. “I can’t go with you. I need to be on that flight early in the morning.”

  Damian scrubbed a hand through his hair in apparent frustration. “I can’t fucking let you go. Not like this, and probably not ever. I know I said I would, but I was lying. Not to you—to myself.”

  “Y-you have no choice but to let me get on that plane.” I couldn’t give in to him.

  His eyes were wild when he answered. “You think you’re broken? Then bloody hell, I’ll fix you. I’ll put every single gorgeous piece of you back together again, Nicole. I promise.”

  My chest was so tight I could hardly breathe. Damian Lancaster had just made me a vow, but no matter how hard he tried to keep it, I knew I needed way more than he could possibly give me.

  Before I could open my mouth to say another word, Damian cursed, “Fuck! What in the hell am I doing?” I watched him as his expression went from dogged determination to complete desolation and despair before he continued in a resolute tone. “I came here to plead for forgiveness, Nicole. Instead, I’m trying to bully you into submission. Coming with me has to be your choice, not mine. It wouldn’t feel right anyway, not unless you really want to be with me. I give you my word I won’t interfere, at all. You know the truth now. The ball is completely in your court, love. I’ll do whatever you need from me. You can leave on that flight in the morning, come with me for the night, or however long you can stand to be around me, and I’ll make sure you get home safe in my jet whenever you want to go.” He stood. “Just don’t expect me to go too far until you’re safely on that plane this morning, and please know I’m willing to take whatever you give me. On your terms this time.”

  Without another word, Damian Lancaster turned, strode into the crowd and disappeared.

  But he hadn’t departed before I’d gotten one final look at his face. He’d looked completely ravaged, wrecked, and defeated.

  I picked my jaw up off the floor, and closed my mouth.

  What in the hell had just happened?

  Had Damian really just left after making himself as vulnerable as a person could be?

  He’d made it clear exactly what he wanted, yet he’d walked away from me without a single one of those things.

  So I could decide what was right for me.

  For a man as strong-willed as Damian, I knew just how hard it was to give up his power to someone else.

  But he had.

  For me.

  My ass stayed planted in my chair for nearly an hour, my mind trying to absorb Dylan’s existence, and more importantly, the hell he’d put Damian through.

  In the end, I couldn’t put all that much blame on Damian. He’d been caught between his loyalty to a brother he obviously loved deeply, and me. And he had planned on telling me, even though he’d still be taking a risk.

  I swiped away the tears that had intermittently poured down my face during my emotional turmoil for the last sixty minutes.

  Suddenly, I realized that I couldn’t just catch that flight in the morning, and forget the last few weeks had never happened. I couldn’t leave Damian feeling like he did right now. Yeah, I realized that he couldn’t give me everything, but dammit! The man had been willing to trust me; it just hadn’t happened as early as I would have liked.

  My heart was still aching from his expression when he’d turned and walked away, and it was obvious that he’d meant exactly what he’d said.

  He wasn’t coming back.

  He wasn’t going to interfere if I needed to escape.

  “Shit!” I mumbled anxiously as I gathered my stuff. “I have to talk to him. I can’t leave this way.”

  No matter how many differences there were between us, I wanted to give Damian his power back, because I didn’t need it. I was strong enough on my own. He’d taught me that, so I wasn’t about to leave him vulnerable and defenseless.

  I couldn’t.

  I sprinted back into the throughway, looking at every single face as I made my way toward the exit.

  I finally stopped, panting from exertion, as I saw who I was looking for sitting at the very last gate before security and the exit.

  Damian’s head was down, his elbows on his legs, his broad shoulders slumped.

  Pain ripped through my entire body as I watched him, hating the fact that he was hurting as much as I was, even if it wasn’t for the same reasons.

  I strode to where he was sitting, touched his shoulder, and held out my hand. “I could really use a comfortable bed right now. I’m exhausted. I’m not even going to try to pretend that I’m over all of this, but we’ll talk when we’re both rested, and then I’ll go.”

  The moment his head jerked up, I knew I’d never forget his expression as relief flooded his features, removing the anguish that had been there seconds ago.

  He was on his feet so fast his body was almost a blur, and he snatched the hand I was offering. “You won’t regret this, Nicole.”

  I swallowed hard as the two of us walked toward the exit. “You broke my heart, Damian.”

  “Then I’ll bloody well fix that, too,” he grumbled.

  And just like that…Damian Lancaster took his power back, like he’d never given it to me in the first place.

  My lips kicked up into a small smile of satisfaction.

  I’d fallen in love with this bossy, powerful, kindhearted, honorable man, and no matter how much it hurt, I’d much rather leave him this way.

  CHAPTER 35

  Nicole

  BY NOON THE following day, I felt like I hadn’t left a single stone unturned.

  I’d spoken to Bella and Leo at length, and saw all of the pictures Damian had hidden away. I was now completely convinced that Dylan was his identical twin, no matter how crazy it all seemed.

  I sighed, glad that I was feeling more like myself today. Except for a few slightly uncomfortable interactions when he’d brought me the evidence of Dylan’s existence, Damian and I had hardly spoken yet.

  We hadn’t said much on the ride home from the airport, and I’d fallen into bed as soon as we’d reached Damian’s house, so mentally and physically exhausted that I hadn’t been ready to talk.

  The subject of my thoughts came walking into the living room seconds later. “I made you some breakfast. You didn’t eat anything this morning.”

  I smiled at him warily. “I’ve been busy. What’s for breakfast? You do realize it’s almost noon.”

  He handed me one of the plates. “Pancakes. It’s the only thing I really know how to cook. Every Sunday was family day in the Lancaster home. When we were kids, me, Dylan, and Leo used to spend the morning with our parents in the kitchen, making as many pancakes as we could eat.”

  I looked at the plate as Damian took a seat next to me on the couch and began to devour his own food.

  “They don’t look like pancakes,” I observed.

  “Our pancakes look more like crepes,” he explained between bites. “They’re unleavened and thin, and we top them with anything and everything. I went with maple syrup for yours to make you feel more at home.”

  I picked up my fork, trying not to smile. He’d definitely gone with maple syrup, and he hadn’t been stingy about it. The English version of American pancakes on my plate were literally drowning in syrup.

  I took a big bite. “Oh, my God. These are fantastic.” They tasted more like crepes than pancakes, too, but I happened to love crepes, even if they did go straight to my ass after eating them.

  He nodded. “Eat. Unless I missed it, you haven’t consumed much since yesterday morning.”

  I was ravenously hungry, and I made short work of the pancakes.

  Once I was done, I got to my feet to go rinse my plate and put it in the dishwasher. Damian was right behind me, so I did the same with his, too.

  I couldn’t say he’d totally regained his previous demeanor. He still seemed repentant over everything that happened, but a whole lot less shattered than he’d been the night before.

  I turned around when I was finished, and looked at Damian. “I’m ready to go home now. I think I have all the answers I need. I’m going to try to get a flight out tonight or early tomorrow morning.”

  I’d gotten all my answers, and Damian seemed more like himself, but being around him was killing me.

  That’s why I had to go as soon as possible.

  “I know I need to apologize again for everything that happened.” Damian’s voice was low and rueful. “Last night included. I didn’t even think about the fact that I was overpowering you, or that my actions might make you feel like less of a person until I pulled my head out of my ass. I had no business trying to make you stay, in any way. I’m sorry, Nicole. I wanted to help you, not hurt you. You looked so damn exhausted and disheartened that I temporarily lost it.”

  And just like that, my heart melted. I actually believed that he hadn’t thought about the fact that he was taking advantage because he’d never been anything other than Damian Lancaster. The man was a fixer of problems, so his intentions were probably in the right place, even though his execution had sucked during the first part of last night’s discussion. “Apology accepted. Just try to remember that not every single person in the world has the same privileges you do.”

  “Say you don’t hate me for doing it.” His words were actually a request and not a demand.

  For the first time, I actually saw true fear in Damian’s eyes, and I realized I actually wielded my own power over him. For some reason, he didn’t want to lose my respect, and that made him vulnerable, but I wasn’t about to take advantage of that susceptibility.

  I shook my head. “No. I was just angry at the time.”

  “And do you plan on forgiving me for being a lying wanker?” His voice was a little lighter, like he was relieved I didn’t hate him.

  I understood his motivation, and his desire to take care of his twin brother. It was just what Damian always did. The man was a caretaker, and I couldn’t really find fault in a characteristic that had been part of the reason I’d fallen in love with him in the first place.

  “I really need to know if you’re ever going to be able to forgive me, Nicole,” he said, more impatiently this time.

  “I think I already have.” My voice was sad and wistful. “It hurts that you felt like you had to lie to me, and that you roped your mother and Leo into those lies, too. But I can hardly fault you for trying so hard to protect a twin brother you love.”