“Was today your first time sailing?” Lou asked.

  “No. Mari and Elena have taken me out several times. And each time I’m just as freaked out about capsizing as the last, if that’s what made you ask.” She smiled and Lou laughed. “This time I was brave enough to stand up a few times. So. Progress.”

  Lou grinned. “You’ll be a sailor before you know it.”

  “I think I’ll leave that to the three of you. I loved watching you and Mari work the sails together. You two have clearly done that before.”

  Lou nodded. “I convinced Mari to join the sailing team in college. She’d never sailed before but she was a natural.”

  “That sounds like Mari. I bet you two had fun in college.”

  “We did. Sometimes too much fun. We definitely got into our share of trouble. Mari seems innocent now, but—”

  “Hey, I’m standing right here,” Mari said, raising a pair of tongs in a teasingly menacing way. “And, Lou, you know I’ve got more dirt on you than you have on me, so watch it.”

  Lou chuckled and held up her hands. “I know when to back away slowly.”

  “Mm-hmm,” Mari said. “You better.”

  Elena came over and slipped her arm around Mari’s waist. “I like knowing I married a bad girl. Makes you even hotter. Which I didn’t think was possible.”

  They shared a deep kiss, and Devyn smiled. Even if she wasn’t able to shake her gloom, she was happy to see her friends happy together. She felt Lou’s gaze on her and met her eyes. A hint of a flare went through her as she saw the desire in Lou’s expression. Nothing like the fire that rushed through her when Robbie looked at her, but maybe something could build with time?

  Her phone chimed with a text but she resisted checking it. Likely it was work, and if they truly needed her, the text would be followed with a phone call. When a second text chimed, she pursed her lips.

  “Work?” Lou guessed.

  Her phone was face down on the patio table in front of them. “Probably.”

  “Are you on call tonight? Mari told me your job is intense. She also mentioned your ex didn’t like that.”

  Devyn wondered what else Mari had said. She would have trusted Elena to keep the details to a minimum but Mari, as much as she loved her, was more open about everything.

  “I’ve had to deal with something similar,” Lou continued. “The last woman I dated only worked a few hours a week. She came from a wealthy family and didn’t really need to work. Which meant she wanted me to be available all the time. When you’re a professional, and your career is important to you, you can’t take days off whenever it feels good.”

  Devyn nodded.

  “I had a case I was working overtime on. Lots of late nights. After the trial, I decided to surprise her and come home for lunch. I found her with another woman. Someone who had more free time, I guess.”

  Devyn knew then Mari had told Lou that Matt had cheated on her. She schooled her features as she said, “People can be awful. I’m sorry.”

  “She had the nerve to call me last week to ask if I’d help her get out of a speeding ticket.”

  “Wow.”

  “Yeah.” Lou shook her head. “Now I only date busy people with full-time careers.”

  Devyn smiled. “Good plan.” Her phone chimed again.

  Lou motioned to the phone as she reached for her wineglass. “You really can check. It won’t hurt my feelings.”

  Devyn hesitated, not wanting to think about work. Finally, guilt pushed her to check the texts. She wasn’t prepared to see Robbie’s name on the screen. Nor was she expecting paragraphs in multiple messages. She wanted to read through everything but couldn’t do so with Lou sitting right next to her. A new text popped on the screen that read: I want to give you space to think about everything. Don’t feel any pressure to respond until you’re ready. I hope you’re okay. I miss you.

  It was the last line that made her heart clench.

  “Is Robbie someone from work?”

  “What?” Devyn looked up at Lou’s question. Had Lou read the text or only seen Robbie’s name? Either way, she was taken aback by the intrusion. “Robbie is—” Before she could decide what to call Robbie, her phone rang.

  “Robbie apparently really wants to get ahold of you.”

  The ringing cut off abruptly and her phone switched back to the home screen image—a shot of Angel. Robbie had taken the picture and texted it to her while she was working weeks ago. She stared at the screen for a moment, wishing the phone would ring again and feeling all the implications of that wish.

  “Everything okay?”

  “Yeah.” She nodded, probably unconvincingly. Why would Robbie have called only to hang up? The list of possible reasons, including some emergency, made her want to read all the texts. Or she could call Robbie back. As soon as the thought crossed her mind, it was the only thing she wanted. “I’m sorry. I’ll just be a minute.”

  She got up from the bench, motioning to Elena and Mari that she was heading inside. As soon as she stepped through the French doors, she pressed the call button. Robbie answered on the first ring.

  “I accidentally dialed you. I’m sorry.”

  “Did you accidentally text me, too?”

  “No. That I thought about long and hard.” Robbie paused. “Did you read the texts?”

  “Not yet.”

  Robbie was quiet for a moment. “I didn’t want to call you because I wasn’t sure I could get all my thoughts out if I heard your voice. And I wanted to give you space to think about everything I said without you having to respond right away.”

  “Thanks for knowing I’d need that.” Robbie had figured out what she’d learned about herself only after months of therapy. “Do you want me to hang up and read your texts?”

  “No. I probably shouldn’t say this, but it’s really nice hearing your voice.”

  “Why shouldn’t you say that?”

  “Because. I know I haven’t been very good at communicating this past week.” Robbie blew out a breath. “And I took off before we had a chance to really talk about us. Now things feel complicated.”

  Understatement.

  “It’s been intense with my uncle in the hospital and not knowing how things were going to go.”

  “How is he now?”

  “He’s okay. Considering everything, he’s lucky. It could have been a lot worse. But he screwed up his knee and he can’t walk. And he’s been told he has to stop drinking and get his blood sugar under control. Which he isn’t happy about. He also wasn’t taking his cholesterol medication—now he’s on that along with a bunch of other meds.

  “Thankfully the stroke part was mild. Probably because he got treatment right away. Anyway. We’re back home now. Tonight’s the first night out of the hospital.” Robbie exhaled and her relief was obvious. “How are you?”

  She hadn’t realized she’d been pacing until she stopped. Pieces that had been jumbled up inside her seemed to settle into place as she listened to Robbie’s voice. Robbie’s exhale made her feel like she could relax, too. But that didn’t mean anything about their situation was fixed. She didn’t even know what fixed meant in this case.

  “You still there?”

  “Yeah.” She debated how to answer Robbie’s question. “I’m fine. I’ve had better weeks.” Answering honestly was all she could do. “How are you?”

  “Better now.”

  She wanted to sink into Robbie’s words, her voice, and everything she felt in that moment. Better now.

  A sound of a teapot whistling interrupted and then came a shuffle of sounds. “I’m making my uncle tea. Give me a second here.”

  She wished she could be in Robbie’s kitchen, but she couldn’t even picture it. Robbie had shown her an aerial photo of the marina and the dock with a hodgepodge of cute houseboats all painted in bright colors and with flags waving. It was a clear day with the sun shining when the picture had been taken, and Robbie had joked it was false advertising. Robbie had pointed out her uncle’s houseboat and her own, his green with bright purple trim and hers blue with white trim.

  The clatter of dishware went quiet, and Devyn held her breath as she waited for Robbie.

  “There’s so many things I want to say to you.”

  “Same. I don’t even know where to start.” She waited to say more, hoping Robbie would take over, and she longed for Robbie to ask her to come to Seattle. Invite her into her world. But what then? Instead of offering any words to fill the space, she simply listened to Robbie’s breathing. The French door opened and she looked up to see Lou.

  “I was watching you pace in here and figured the conversation wasn’t going well. I came to get you out of it.”

  She opened her mouth to say that wasn’t necessary, but before she could get out the words, Lou reached for the phone. “I got this.”

  There was no time to warn Robbie. Devyn’s throat tightened as Lou started to speak.

  “Hey, Robbie, Devyn’s on a date and can’t talk right now.”

  No. Please, no. She wanted to yank the phone out of Lou’s grasp but couldn’t seem to move.

  “Also, no one wants a selfish ex who only comes back for attention.”

  Fuck.

  “My advice, not that you’re asking, is move on. I think it’s safe to say Devyn can do better.” Lou ended the call and smiled. “Damn, that felt good. Why is it so much easier to tell other people’s exes off than your own?”

  Devyn held out her hand, her body vibrating with anger. “Give me the phone.”

  Lou’s brow bunched together. “Are you really still caught up on that guy? Mari told me he treated you like crap and then cheated on you. For like a year, right?”

  “Give me the phone,” she repeated.

  “Fine.” Lou dropped it in her hand. She stared at Devyn for a moment, then shook her head. “It’s not my place to—”

  “You’re right. It’s not your place.”

  “Whatever.” Lou walked past her and out the French door without bothering to close it.

  As soon as Lou reached the patio, Devyn heard Mari and Elena both ask, “What’s going on?”

  “Don’t ask me,” Lou said.

  Devyn walked over to the French door and closed it, then took a steadying breath and pulled up Robbie’s number. She waited for the ring. One ring. Then two, then three. “Shit.” She pressed her hand to her forehead. “Robbie, please pick up.”

  The call went to voice mail and she listened to the recording, unable to stop the tears. When the beep came, all she could manage to say was, “Please call me. That was a misunderstanding.”

  A misunderstanding. She ended the call and then set the phone on the coffee table, wishing she hadn’t checked her phone in the first place. And wishing she hadn’t called. But she’d needed to hear Robbie’s voice. She sank down on the sofa and dropped her head in her hands.

  What a mess. She hated to think of what might be going through Robbie’s mind, but she desperately wanted to know, if only to try to right things. She straightened and picked up her phone again, pressing the call button and sending out a plea to the universe that Robbie would answer.

  When the voice mail picked up, she ended the call and opened Robbie’s text messages. This couldn’t be how things ended. Not when she knew Robbie cared as much as she did. She could hear it in Robbie’s voice. Her eyes filled with tears as she read the first text message:

  I’m going to try to explain why my texts this week have all been brief. I owe you more. You asked me if I was okay and if there was anything you could do. I said I was fine and didn’t need anything. That wasn’t true. But I couldn’t think of how to say what I was feeling.

  I didn’t mean to fall for you. I knew you wanted to keep things casual. But I completely fell. I knew when it was happening and I didn’t try to stop. We both know the problem. My life is in Seattle and yours is in San Diego. Before I left, I wanted to ask you if there was a chance you’d be up for something long distance. I don’t know what that would look like exactly. Especially now. But it’s either that or we say goodbye. Which hurts so much to write.

  Devyn took a shaky breath. What Robbie said was true and not any different from what she’d been wrestling with all week. Still, it wrenched her to read the words. She wiped away tears and kept reading.

  My uncle wants to move to Palm Springs to be with his boyfriend. I think it’s a good idea, but it means I’ll be taking over management of the marina and the dock. Between that and my job, I won’t have time for vacations. This will be my world. I could swing a long weekend away occasionally but that’s it. And I know how busy your job keeps you and I know how important it is so I would never ask you to come to me.

  I wish we could be in the same room having this talk. It’s hard over text. Also I want to be in the same room because I want to hug you. I’ve wanted to call you so many times the last few days. I’ve wanted to hold your hand even more.

  “Oh, Robbie.” She sniffed and pushed herself to finish reading.

  As I’m writing this, I keep thinking how hard it’d be to do long distance. I don’t know how it would work or even if you’d want to try. All I know is what we had was perfect and I can’t just walk away from it.

  I want to give you space to think about everything. Don’t feel any pressure to respond until you’re ready. I hope you’re okay. I miss you.

  “Hey,” Elena said, touching her shoulder. “What’s going on?”

  “Robbie…” She shook her head, not sure how to go on.

  “Did something happen with Robbie’s uncle?”

  She swiped her eyes, but more tears came.

  Elena sat down next to her. “Tell me.”

  “I don’t know what to say.” Devyn handed Elena her phone.

  Elena scanned the texts and then pointed to the last few sentences. “She called after sending you this?”

  “On accident. I called her back, and while we were talking, Lou came in and took the phone out of my hand.” She swallowed. “Lou told Robbie I was on a date.”

  “Shit.” Elena grimaced. “Did you call her back?”

  “Twice. She’s not answering.”

  Elena seemed to contemplate that and then said, “I know you said you wouldn’t but…would you do long distance for her?”

  “I don’t know. I miss her so much.”

  Elena nodded. “Text her an apology about Lou and tell her you need time to think.”

  “Instead of jumping on a plane and showing up at her front door?” She wanted Elena to tell her to go for what she wanted, but Elena’s expression was grim.

  “That’s only going to mean more heartbreak if you don’t know your next move after that.”

  Elena always thought of every possible scenario when she made any decision. Only then did she act. It was what made her an incredible surgeon. But sometimes it was impossible to know all the outcomes and risks. When Devyn had announced she was marrying Matt, Elena had been dumbstruck she hadn’t processed her own feelings, or lack thereof, before saying yes. And this time she had no idea what her next move would be if she went to Seattle.

  “As much as I want to be in the same room with her right now, I almost wish she’d never shown up in my life.”

  “She was a perfect housebutch.” Elena smiled sadly. “I think Mari was jealous when she heard all the things Robbie took care of.” She wrapped an arm around her and pulled her into a hug. “Even if nothing more happens, she was good for you. She pulled you out of that place you were hiding.”

  Devyn let the tears fall again. Robbie had been good for her. She knew it the first time she’d felt heat spread through her after a look Robbie gave her. But was that all Robbie had been—a dose of what she needed?

  Chapter Twenty-Seven

  April 13 Saturday at 8:13 p.m.

  Devyn: Please can we talk? At least text me back?

  I’m not actually on a date. That was Lou—Mari’s friend from college. She thought you were Matt.

  Devyn: I mean she knew your name was Robbie but she assumed you were my ex-husband.

  Please say something.

  Robbie: I figured she didn’t know who I was.

  Devyn: Can I call you?

  Robbie: I don’t think I’m in the right headspace tonight.

  April 13 Saturday at 11:13 p.m.

  Devyn: Can I call you tomorrow? I have to work but I think we should talk.

  Devyn: Everything has felt off this past week. I haven’t known what to think. And I know I made everything worse tonight. You have no idea how terrible I feel.

  Devyn: I promise I would have told you if I was on a date. Mari and Elena wanted to go sailing like we’d planned and Mari invited her friend Lou. I told Mari I wasn’t interested in dating anyone but I don’t think Lou got that message.

  Robbie: I’ll be around tomorrow.

  April 14 Sunday at 9:15 a.m.

  Devyn: I reread everything you texted me last night. I don’t know what to say other than I miss you. Well, that and I’m sorry about what happened with Lou.

  Robbie: It’s all good—I get that it was a misunderstanding.

  But I wouldn’t get on the wrong side of that woman.

  Devyn: I think I accomplished that. I told her off for grabbing my phone and she stormed out. Trust me, that’s the end of that.

  Devyn: I want to call you but I’m at work and it’s crazy here. For the record, you can text me anytime (or call) about your uncle—if you’re worried about meds or how he’s healing or whatever. Medical stuff is the one time I can be useful.