“You sound suspicious,” I say. “Why are you suspicious? Why the fuck would I have heard of Camille Thornberg?”

  “The Thornbergs were once one of the richest families in this country,” Kelvin answers. “They had power and influence like you couldn’t believe.”

  “The Thornbergs,” I laugh. “Wasn’t that a miniseries in the eighties?”

  “That was theThornbirds,” Kelvin says. “And stay on topic, please.”

  “If I had a nickel for every time someone told me to stay on topic,” I sigh, “I’d have a fuckton of useless nickels. Who needs nickels in the apocalypse? That shit just weighs you down.”

  “Like this conversation,” Kelvin mutters. He stands up and starts to pace back and forth. “I won’t bore you with the details of Camille’s influence. I will say that I am not surprised she is the head of the Consortium and already making a push to take over more than just the eastern region. She’s probably gotten her grip on the South and is about to come after the Midwest. That is going to put a damper on my mission.”

  “By mission, you mean like the Blues Brothers, right?” I ask. “Your mission from God? Not some secret CIA mission?”

  “Who said I worked for the CIA?” Kelvin asks.

  “You did,” I reply. “Or I think you did. Didn’t you?”

  “I never said that.”

  “Huh. Then I must have guessed it,” I say. “Probably all that talk about rendition stations and advanced interrogation techniques. That’s spook talk.”

  “Spook talk?” Kelvin laughs. “You are a colorful character, Jace. Let’s move on from Camille. I am getting the feeling you know less than I do about her and her organization.”

  “Really? What do you know?” I ask, honestly interested. “Come on. Sharesies!”

  “No,” Kelvin states. “This is not a two-way conversation.”

  “Is it a three-way?” I ask. “Because I’ve never had one of those. They seem awkward. And a lot of work. Who wants to work like that?”

  “Are you talking about conversation or sex?” Kelvin asks.

  “I don’t know,” I say quietly. “My head hurts.”

  “Does it?” Kelvin asks, then looks at his watch. “That’s good to know. I meant to ask you to instruct me as to when you started to feel any discomfort, especially in the form of headaches, but you are such a distracting person that I honestly forgot.”

  “If I had a nickel for every time someone said-.”

  “Please stop,” Kelvin sighs. He picks up the X-ACTO blade and sticks the tip into my arm.

  “Ow! Hey, motherfucker! That hurt!” I shout. Then I realize a lot of me hurts, not just my head, or where he poked me. “Looks like it’s time for my medicine.”

  “No, Jace, it is not,” Kelvin says. There’s a sadness on his face like I’ve thoroughly disappointed him. “The formula works differently on every subject. Your system has burned through it faster than most. Unfortunately, I can’t give you more without risking serious damage to your nervous system. You could fall into a coma, and end up a vegetable. Or you could have a major seizure and die. Neither of those scenarios helps me.”

  “So, it’s just regular torture, then?” I ask. Using then at the end of my question makes me think of Stuart. I really hope he’s okay. And Critter. I hope Critter is okay too.

  “They are both fine, I am sure,” Kelvin says. “I have instructed my men to let me know if they are overwhelmed in the pit. I doubt they will be if they have both survived in this world this long. The pit will be uncomfortable, but not insurmountable.”

  “Well, that’s nice to hear,” I respond. “So ... about that normal torture thing?”

  Kelvin glances at his cart of shiny, scary tools. “I may have to go that direction, but I would rather not since pain is rarely a true motivator. Fear of loss is what really drives people. And I am fairly confident that I know what you fear to lose.”

  I stay quiet. Not even gonna come close to taking that bait.

  “Carly Thornberg,” Kelvin says, startling me. “Tell me what you know about her.”

  “Who?” I ask, but I can tell my delivery is less than convincing. “Is she related to Camille?”

  “There it is,” Kelvin says as he pushes the cart of tools over to the wall. He walks back to me with a particularly nasty looking pair of metal snips. “There is the defiance and deception I have been waiting for. You have been incredibly honest with me all night, almost a little too honest, if I may be honest as well. But now you have told me your very first bald-faced lie. Good. That means progress might actually be achieved.”

  “I don’t know what you are talking about,” I reply.

  Kelvin sits down next to me and makes sure the metal snips are the center of my attention. “These can cut through sixteenth inch sheet metal without a problem. Can you guess what they can do to flesh and bone? While you ponder that question, let me be more specific. You see, Jace, I can use these to cut off all kinds of body parts. Fingers, toes, ears, of course. Those are extremities and easily accessible. But, a true artist, uses these for other body parts. The tongue, love handles on those that have them, breasts. Ah, breasts. Young, supple, vulnerable breasts.”

  “You motherfucking asshole,” I growl. “Don’t even think about it.”

  “Oh, I have been thinking about nothing else since I dragged you into this room,” Kelvin says. “It took us a while, but we are finally where I thought we’d end up. Now, tell me about Carly Thornberg, or whatever you call her.”

  “Fuck you,” I snap.

  Kelvin taps me right between the eyes with the metal snips. “What do you call her, Jace? I won’t ask again. Tell me the name she goes by, or your beautiful little girl loses her left breast in the morning. She will be stripped naked and made to stand for everyone in the compound to see. Then Maury will take these very same snips and slowly, carefully, agonizingly, cut off her breast. How old is she? Have her breasts even finished growing and forming yet? How sad for a girl to be mutilated like that before she even reaches womanhood.”

  I turn my head and puke. It’s only bile and water, so it doesn’t make much of a mess, but the act itself is quite the statement as to my mental state.

  Kelvin stares at me, I stare at Kelvin. He gives the metal snips a quick squeeze and they pop open to show me just how sharp the blades are.

  “Elsbeth,” I say. “She goes by Elsbeth.”

  “Elsbeth? Really? Why is that?” Kelvin asks. “Is it because of Foster? Did that woman name her that?”

  A cold chill runs up and down my spine, and I shudder suddenly.

  “I can see you’ve met the woman,” Kelvin laughs. “Did she give Carly her new name?”

  “No,” I say. “Some cannibal molester did. His name was Pa, and he brainwashed El into becoming like him. They hunted a whole bunch of survivors before I stumbled across them.”

  “Yet you survived,” Kelvin nods. “You left that out of your earlier narrative. In fact, you left out Elsbeth altogether. I am guessing she had a lot more to do with your successes than you did. Any reason you didn’t mention her?”

  “I’m holding out for a hero?” I say. “Holding out for a hero that is larger than life?”

  He presses the tip of the snips to my right eye. “Funny. But answer the question. I have no problem mutilating you, then mutilating your daughter. Oh, and did I forget to mention that I’d brand her a sinner, and that I would declare her presence to be an affront to God? Do you know what happens to pretty, teenage girls that are branded as such? All bets are off. My followers can do what they want with her without worrying about it being a sin. In their eyes, and in the eyes of God, she will deserve every moment of her humiliation and defilement.”

  “I was being serious,” I say. “Elsbeth has an uncanny way of pulling my ass out of the fire. I didn’t mention her because there is a distinct chance that she’ll track me down and save me. Along with my daughter, Stuart, and Critter.”

  “And Rafe? Will he be saved as well?” Kelvin smiles. “Or is he the sacrifice in this chapter of your life? I have a sneaking suspicion that there are quite a few sacrifices along the path you have walked, Jace. Not that I see that as a bad thing. God asks for sacrifices all the time.”

  “You got that right, brother,” I nod. “That God is all about his sacrifices. Sacrifice this and sacrifice that. In fact, I think what he really wants, more than anything in the world, is for you to take those metal snips and shove them as far up your nose as you can. Now that would be some sacrifice, am I right?”

  “No, you are not,” Kelvin says. “I know what God wants from me, and that idea is as far from the truth as you can get.”

  “When you say truth, do you mean with a big T or a little T? I only ask because it helps me know just how whackadoo you are. People that use the big T are kinda off the charts with the whackadooness, so-.”

  “Elsbeth,” Kelvin interrupts. “What makes her special?”

  “I don’t know,” I say. “I’m not a scientist. Kramer is the guy you want to talk to. He can give you the lowdown on Elsbeth and her sisters.”

  “Sisters?” Kelvin asks. “So you know about the other girls that were part of that program?”

  Son of a bitch.

  “Isn’t exhaustion a wonderful thing?” Kelvin asks as he reaches between my legs. “It makes you sloppy. Sloppy enough that even the most guarded bits of intel start to come spilling out.”

  He yanks the catheter out of my dick, and I scream, scream, scream. Oh, do I scream.

  “I’m going to let you leak on yourself for a couple minutes while I go freshen up and check in with Maury,” Kelvin says. “I’ll let you sit here and wonder if I am ordering him to start prepping your daughter or not. When I get back, I expect no more stalling and no more omissions. Is that clear, Jace?”

  “Crystal,” I croak as I feel warm piss wet the chair and pool around my ass.

  “Good,” Kelvin says. “Sit tight.”

  Yeah, I think I’ll do that.

  ***

  I drift in and out of consciousness as I wait for Reptile Jesus to return. I don’t exactly sleep, since that really isn’t possible when strapped to a barber’s chair and sitting in your own piss. It’s more like when you are watching TV, and you don’t want to fall asleep, so you keep snapping awake every few seconds.

  You know what I forgot to ask Reptile Jesus? Why he insisted on calling cookies biscuits. And why he had that lame British accent for a split second there. What the fuck was that all about? If the guy is CIA, then what was up with that?

  Unless maybe he isn’t CIA, and it’s all some elaborate rouse. The fucker could totally be faking the whole not faking the actor thing. What if this guys is actually some Second City wannabe? Wouldn’t that be the shit?

  Except that doesn’t make sense. He knows too much about the Consortium and Camille Thornberg. He knows about Ms. Foster and the sisters. I think he knows about Kramer, but I haven’t confirmed that yet. Maybe that’s where his whole line of questioning about Elsbeth was going. Maybe, just maybe, it’s Kramer he’s after.

  Nah. Nobody wants that asshole. He might be a mad scientist, but after three seconds with the jerk everybody wants to fucking kill him. He’s bigger slime than Reptile Jesus is.

  Which means I have zero answers to any of my questions. I have plenty of piss, though. Not a problem in that department. I think I heard somewhere that when they remove catheters, the ureter stays expanded and you pretty much leak from your dick for a while. I’d like to know how long that while is, because this is really growing uncomfortable. Each time I shift I leak a little more.

  It’s been a great few days, huh? Shitting and puking and pissing. I really know how to party in the apocalypse.

  The door opens, and Kelvin comes in. He looks tired and frustrated. I’m about to ask him some smart ass question when I see the metal snips in his hand. He tosses them on the cart, and the blood that coats the blades splatters across the rest of the shiny torture tools, instantly making them less than shiny. Kelvin just stands there and looks down at the cart, his eyes kind of glazed and far off.

  “Uh, everything alright?” is what I want to ask, but I can’t get the words to form. Strange, I know, since it’s me, and I seem to have zero problem saying whatever comes to mind no matter what the moment may be. But those bloody snips. They freeze my throat, and I start to feel like it’s hard to breathe.

  Why are they coated in blood? Whose blood is it?

  Dear God, please don’t let it be…

  Kelvin turns around and meets my eye. The look on my face must convey all the thoughts in my head because he rolls his eyes and takes a seat on the stool next to my chair.

  “No, no, that’s not your daughter’s blood,” Kelvin says. “One of my followers decided that now was the time to challenge my authority. Which means he was challenging God’s authority. I couldn’t allow that.”

  “Oh, thank fucking God,” I say. “Uh, I mean, praise Jesus. Even Reptile Jesus.”

  “Shut up, Jace,” Kelvin says. “I no longer have the patience for your mouth. Just stay quiet for a minute while I gather my thoughts and get myself centered and right with God, please.”

  Oh, crap. This guy just asked me to stay quiet. How the hell am I going to do that? It was easy when he was interrogating me because my obvious natural inclination is to blabber away. And the fact that my internal filter is shot to shit didn’t make a damn bit of difference then. Now? Yeah, it makes a huge fucking bit of difference!

  Please, please, please don’t let me start talking out loud. Please.

  I watch Kelvin closely, my eyes locked onto his face, looking for any sign that what is in my head is coming out of my mouth. But he doesn’t even flinch, just sits there, his head hung, his eyes closed, as he ‘centers’ himself.

  What does that even mean? Sure, I know all about yoga and meditation, but that’s positive stuff. What does a religious crackpot like Reptile Jesus do when he needs to center himself? Picture burning lakes of fire? Think of pits of damned souls roasting in flames for all eternity?

  “I think of a small meadow near where I grew up,” Kelvin says. “And please don’t call me a religious crackpot. That’s disrespectful and will lead to my order to mutilate your daughter.”

  “Sorry,” I say. “I didn’t know that-.”

  “I do not care, Jace,” Kelvin says. “Your neurological affliction is not my concern.”

  He looks up, and I know everything has changed. This next session isn’t going to be a hearty chat like last time.

  “Tell me about Elsbeth,” he says. ”Hold nothing back. If you do, I will know. If I know, then you pay. If you pay, your daughter pays. Then we start again. Are we understood, Jace?”

  “Yes, sir,” I reply. I don’t know why I call him sir. It just slips out.

  So, without hesitation or any sort of editing, I start in and tell him everything I know about Carly “Elsbeth” Thornberg. From the first moment I saw her in North Asheville, to the last time I saw her a few days ago before she went missing on the road. He gets it all. Not one small attempt at subterfuge or misinformation. He gets the real deal.

  Yet, when I’m all done and watching him expectantly, he doesn’t look pleased. He doesn’t look anything. It’s like the life and will has been drained out of him.

  “That is quite the story,” he says finally and stands up. He stretches and looks about the room as if it holds better secrets than the ones I just told him. “I was told you interacted with Cole on your journey back here.”

  “Cole?” I ask.

  “The man that assaulted you on the RV,” Kelvin says.

  “Oh, right, that guy,” I nod. “Yeah, we had an interaction. It was a bit one sided.”

  “Yes, that does sound like Cole,” Kelvin says. “Or did.” He glances at the bloody tools. “Nothing except eternal silence sounds like the man now. I hope he finds peace in the afterlife that he couldn’t find in this one.”

  “You killed him?” I ask.

  “I ended his existence on this plane,” Kelvin says. “But his journey doesn’t end yet. He is now a part of the pit, as are all that are deemed unworthy of a final death.”

  “Wait, he’s in the pit now?” I ask. “As a zombie? You killed him and let him come back?”

  “Only the truly righteous are allowed a final death,” Kelvin says. “Cole was far from righteous.”

  “Yeah, but didn’t you say that my friends are in the pit?” I snap. “Are you fucking telling me you killed them too?”

  “No, Jace, they have not been killed,” Kelvin says. “At least, not to my knowledge.”

  “Then I don’t understand,” I say. “How can you have zombies in the pit and also have my friends there too?”

  “The pit is not some simple hole,” Kelvin says. “It is one of those great mysteries that God likes to tease us with. Over millions of years, water seeped down into the mine, the Tomb, and carved out a place that is vast and terrifying. A great underground depression that threatens to collapse the entire mine structure. It’s one reason this mine was shut down. The wrong use of the wrong machinery, a buildup and sudden release of gas, an engineer’s miscalculation on drill depth. Any one of those things could have caused the mine to collapse into the pit.”

  “The mine can collapse into the pit? How fucking big is this pit?” I ask.

  “Were you not listening? I said it was vast and terrifying,” Kelvin frowns. “Listen up, Jace. I do not enjoy repeating myself.”

  “Sorry. My bad,” I say quickly. “The place is vast and terrifying. Got it. So, if my friends work hard enough, they can avoid the Zs you’ve stuck down there with them, right? Is that what you are saying?”

  “Yes, exactly,” Kelvin replies. “Many people have been put in there to pay their penance, and then come out unscathed. There are nooks and crannies they can hide in. There are boulders and rock outcroppings. Pillars of stone they can climb. In fact, there are stones of all sizes everywhere. In the right hands, there are more than enough weapons at the ready.”

  “Oh, okay,” I say. “Critter and Stuart are good with their hands. They know how to kill Zs. I’m sure they are fine.”