“He’s right here in your backyard, as a matter of fact. A movie producer with a house in La Canada Flintridge.”

  “That’s just up in the hills,” I said with a laugh. “Maybe a fifteen-minute drive, depending on where the house is.”

  She nodded. “Exactly. But what I said still holds—my intel suggests his home will not only have extra levels of security, but that he’ll have monsters he’s allied with nearby. The instant we trigger an alarm or even a ward spell, they’ll surge on us.”

  A fight and a heist… I shook my head, not sure if I was ready for this. Still, we didn’t have a choice.

  “I’m guessing he’s a monster?” I asked.

  “Yes, and no. From what I’ve been able to gather, his father was a hunter and escaped to our world long ago. He lived in relative obscurity until about seventy years ago, when he broke into the early days of films—Westerns, to be exact—disguised as a large man. You go watch a lot of those old westerns, you’d see him. Then he had a son with a human woman, so this demi-monster is the man we’re going after.”

  “There are no shortages of monsters in Hollywood,” I said with a chuckle. She gave me a smile, but the joke was completely lost on the others. “Wait,” I laughed, “why’d you let me get snacks and pack extra clothes if you knew we were just going to La Canada?”

  “Because even if we succeed here, there’s still stage two. And that… I have no idea where it’ll be, but if he and his teams haven’t found it yet, I’m going to bet it’s farther away.”

  “Justified, then.” I nodded, content, and worked my way over to Highway Two, to ride it up into the hills of La Canada.

  The city up there was one I rarely visited, but I loved so much about it. There was Montrose nearby—still technically part of Glendale, which had a fun parade around Christmas, including Santa Claus in a helicopter. There was Memorial Park with its fireworks show for Memorial Day, and one of my favorite books was set there, by the author Dwayne Alexander Smith—The Unkind Hours. It was a creepy but fun one, and I always thought about it when anyone mentioned the city. Known for its good schools, it was sort of a haven outside of L.A. but still close enough for the big shots to live there and be able to commute to the studios. I’d heard Jason Segal from How I Met Your Mother had once lived there, Vince Vaughn, one of the Star Wars actors, and even the supposedly crazy film director Justin Sloan. It was no Beverly Hills, but it had its place in Hollywood.

  I told them some of this as we turned onto Foothill Boulevard and passed the large “Touchdown Jesus” statue, a statue at a church that was likely supposed to be Jesus going home or something, but looked like a man celebrating a touchdown.

  “Which way?” I asked, and Ahlaksiz directed me to head for the hills on the other side of the high school. That was where a lot of the twelve-to-twenty million-dollar houses were, but we ended up on a road that felt dark and eerily out of place. Almost haunted, with its large oaks that hung out over the road.

  “Now, turn right!” she blurted out, and I was fairly certain there was no road to the right, but suddenly it opened up and there we were, turning up and onto a narrow, winding road. I had to wonder if she’d used some sort of monster magic to open up the way.

  As if in response, we turned to see more trees swaying and possibly even moving out of the way. With each turn, more foliage opened up to the road. If this demi-monster wanted to keep people out, I had to wonder why the way was opening for us, and if there was any chance they wouldn’t know we were coming.

  “Oh, the hunter’s platform,” I said, suddenly catching on. “That’s why the way is opening up.”

  “Exactly. Even as the car, it recognizes the vehicle, thinks one of their own is coming.” Ahlaksiz clapped my shoulder. “Let’s hope the welcoming committee doesn’t hold a grudge when they see we aren’t who they expect.”

  She laughed, but I didn’t get the joke.

  Finally, the last bit of trees gave way to a large driveway, what looked like a huge estate. No producer could afford this, could they? I remembered what Ahlaksiz had said about others, though, and realized this was likely several mansions belonging to a group of people.

  “Pull over here,” she said, indicating a dirt road beside the main one, where we could park alongside a tree.

  “Which house is it?” I asked.

  She shook her head. “My guess is that Jacobs would have the biggest and best, but—”

  “Wait, you don’t mean Rand Jacobs?”

  “I do.”

  Damn. I couldn’t imagine that Rand Jacobs was this demi-monster. There had been rumors of his secret get-togethers, the elite of the elite. But he had mostly stayed out of the public’s eye, known only by name. He had produced many of the Sloan films, but had his name attached to so many more.

  And here we were, about to break into his compound, and personal stash of collections.

  “If we’re lucky, he won’t be here,” Ahlaksiz said.

  “And the others?”

  “He’ll have defenses no matter what. Security that has no doubt already spotted us, but… we’ll have to work around them, somehow. Have you figured out what extra ability you’ve gained from claiming Milkshake yet?”

  I frowned, eyeing Milkshake as I shook my head.

  “Maybe you will, today,” Milkshake said, and held her hand out, calling the hunter sword to her. “As for me, I’ll be defense.”

  “Good thinking,” Ahlaksiz said. “We each need to focus on our strengths.”

  “I do well against security systems and other forms of electronics,” Jalee said. “Also, if we need to attack from above.”

  Ahlaksiz nodded before transforming to her cougar form. She took off her outer layers until she was only in a tank top and shorts. She turned to Kinara, waiting.

  “Warning systems?” Kinara said. “Like Ferris.”

  “So if we need to split up, one of you should be with each group.” Ahlaksiz’s eyes moved around the compound. “Do either of you sense trouble now?”

  I clicked my tongue and noted that Kinara did the same. So far, nothing. She shook her head, showing she’d found the same result.

  “Very good.” Ahlaksiz opened her door, saying, “Ferris, stick with me. The others will follow close behind, keeping attackers away if necessary.”

  “Understood.”

  We started for the walls, working around to our right and through the trees. At first it seemed as if there was nothing out here that would try to stop us. My bat senses weren’t picking up anything out of the ordinary. The ladies were grumbling and cursing, and finally it was Milkshake who stopped and hissed for us to wait.

  “What is it?” Ahlaksiz asked.

  “You might be used to moving around in all this shit,” Milkshake replied, already pulling off her clothes, “but I’m not about to get into a fight with this restrictive bullshit.”

  Kinara started to do the same, then Jalee, with a shrug.

  “You all want to break into this guy’s house… naked?” I stifled a laugh, fist to my mouth. “Imagine the security guards watching that footage later.”

  “Better to go nude and survive,” Kinara countered. They stashed their clothes on a tree branch where it met the trunk, and started for the panties.

  “Wait,” I protested. “As much as I’d love that show, it’s… I mean, what if the cops come? What if the footage from security cameras gets on the news? Maybe at least keep on your underwear?”

  Kinara had already hooked her fingers in her panties and had them halfway down, the curve of her ass, calling to me. Either way, they were going to be a major distraction here. In part, that’s why I’d asked them to at least wear their underwear—so that I could avoid only having a one-track mind. Around them at the worst of times, that was tough. When nude and going Bling-Ring-style on these houses, it would be harder.

  “Sure,” Jalee said, the first to hold her hands up, breasts exposed but still wearing her panties. Fuck, these three were sexy.

  I turned to Ahlaksiz and chuckled. “I’m starting to see why you said I should stick with you.”

  “Because I’m keeping my clothes on?” she asked.

  “Please do. Or maybe I should wait in the car…”

  “Let’s go.” She motioned me on, looking all Tomb Raider in her outfit. Sexy, but at least it wasn’t so much so that I would lose control and stumble over my own erection. With this in mind, I made sure to move right along next to her, ahead of the near-naked ladies. They even went without shoes, apparently finding that easier to cover ground faster and quieter.

  When we approached the first section of wall, my bat sense went off. A glance back showed Kinara had sensed it too, and also that she looked sexy as fuck when crouching as she happened to be in her panties.

  “Someone’s watching us,” I hissed, and then closed my eyes to sense it, giving another click of my tongue to hone in. At three o’clock to my position, and slightly up. At first I thought maybe floating, but then I sensed the tree there, too. Apparently, living creatures sent off more of a response to my senses.

  Definitely a living creature, but nothing about it yet made me believe it was a monster. Had these guys hired regular human security? In a way, that made sense. A demi-monster might have a connection with humans and trust them more than monsters, in some way.

  I was preparing to make my move, when another figure came up on my senses. One strolling out our way.

  “Welcoming committee,” Kinara said.

  “Come on in, then,” a voice said, and a section of gate opened not twenty feet away. “The reception is still in progress. Please, we don’t want to have you out here, exposed.”

  There had been so much ‘being exposed’ going around lately, that I couldn’t help but arch an eyebrow at the use of the word. Stranger still, though, was the fact that this man who had just emerged through the gates was apparently inviting us to join a party within. Nothing could have been further from expected.

  12

  “Not what I expected, either,” Ahlaksiz admitted, all of us turning to see a stout figure emerge through the open gate.

  Staring at us, this monster wasn’t even trying to hide what he was. Round with a face like a fish, eyes bulging and with a thick tail emerging from his backside.

  “We could fight our way in, but this group apparently seems to know we’re here,” I hissed. “So where’s that leave us? Best chance of finding this thing, we walk into their trap?”

  “Does it have to be a trap?” Jalee asked. “This guy’s half monster, right? So maybe he simply wants to get to know who the new monsters in town are.”

  “It’s possible,” Ahlaksiz admitted. “Someone bringing monsters over? That doesn’t happen every day. It’s possible he has some way of sensing that this has happened—an item, perhaps. Dammit, we could be walking into a trap.”

  “The demi-monster might even be holding onto the half of the disk he has in order to lure us into this whole scenario,” Milkshake pointed out, sword in her hands, ready. “I say we go charging in, try and kill every last one of them.”

  “My advice would be we don’t do that,” Kinara countered. “We’re not exactly the most powerful monsters, even if we took down a hunter.”

  “As individuals, maybe. But as a group?” Milkshake shook her head. “As a group, we’re fucking badass.”

  Ahlaksiz grinned. “True. And we have an invitation, so change of plans—we go in, we stay together, and we scout out the place. If we can find out where he might be keeping it, we make our move and try to get out of there without getting killed. And mark my words, against the likes of monsters he likely has in there? We wouldn’t stand a chance.”

  “Why’d you bring us here then?” I asked.

  “At the time, I thought we would be breaking in. This is an admittedly weird situation.”

  “You’re not perfect is what you’re saying?”

  She frowned my way, but with a hint of a smile. “Ask my daughter, she’ll agree with that sentiment.”

  “All I’m saying is, you all have been alive so much longer than me, you should have this living thing down. You shouldn’t be making these mistakes.”

  “Ferris?”

  “Yeah?”

  “Shut up.” She started for the monster who had extended the invitation. I glanced at the other ladies, but Milkshake let the sword vanish, nodding.

  “She might not be perfect, but she knows what she’s talking about,” Milkshake said. “At least, she knows this stuff more than the rest of us.”

  I certainly had no idea how all this was supposed to work. If they were going to defer to her judgment, then so would I. Kinara moved close to me as we walked.

  “If it falls apart, we run,” she whispered.

  “Fuck that,” Jalee said from my other side. “If it falls apart, we electrocute the whole damn hill.”

  As far as I was concerned, I was with Jalee. Kill ‘em all. That was from a position of ignorance, though, since I had no idea what we were really going up against. Walking into a Hollywood party certainly wasn’t something I was used to, and my sense of unease quadrupled because it was a Hollywood-monster party. Some might argue that was true of all Hollywood parties, but this was quite literal. As far as I knew, there could be all manner of creatures within that were ready to bite my head off.

  This demi-monster, in fact, could be a fucking lunatic. For all we knew, we were walking into the Manson house. We weren’t defenseless, but I wasn’t sure if we were bringing in the knife or the gun to this fight, relatively speaking.

  “We accept your master’s invitation,” Ahlaksiz said, having reached the monster.

  Now that we were close and could see this monster better, I had to do my best to hide my revulsion. His skin was blue with lines of green in it, but almost goopy with a slime look. Those large eyes reminded me of a fish, and he was completely nude, in keeping with the style that monsters seemed to prefer. If you’ve ever seen a massive, blue-slime cock with green veins… yeah, you’d get what I’m saying. Revolting. The ladies were used to this sort of thing, though, and none of them seemed to care.

  “Right this way,” the monster said, and turned to lead us up to the large, white mansion.

  I couldn’t hide my trepidation, hand shaking the closer we got. It wasn’t only the monsters, either. This place would have freaked me out regardless. In part it felt like an old Louisiana plantation, with its wide balconies on the first and second floor, tall trees all around it hanging down and blowing gently with the wind.

  Laughter carried out along with music—though it was a strange sort of instrument, something similar to a violin, maybe, but with more depth. Tall hedges lined the walkway, and several monsters milled about on the balconies. More than one pair of eyes turned our way, and two human guards stood at the end of the hedges eyeing us through sunglasses as we passed. From what I could tell, those two were the only humans other than me within the walls.

  And yes, the monsters were all nude. This didn’t hit me in full until we stepped in through the doors. In a massive entryway, all manner of monsters stood around talking, some dancing. Breasts bounced, dicks swung about, and it all seemed so natural to them. What was out of place there was us in our clothes, to which our guide suggested we undress in the side room.

  “Shall I take your clothing?” he asked as if he were simply taking our coats. He opened the door to the side room and gestured for us to enter.

  I couldn’t help but stare at the room, barely registering the grand piano, vases, and massive paintings. It wasn’t that I wanted to stare at the women, of course. My ladies were the cream of the crop as far as I was concerned. Still, even when you have some high-quality wine, when you walk through the liquor aisle your eyes wander. And here I was in a room of women of all shapes and sizes, all in their birthday suits. Was I supposed to look away?

  They weren’t all sexy, either. While some were monster girls like I enjoyed writing about—one with butterfly wings, another red-skinned with horns and a sexy tail and so on, there were plenty of scary or simply weird ones. A woman had eyes where her nipples should have been, and spikes in her head. One looked like jagged metal that moved. One woman had to stand in a pool of water that steamed around her, because she seemed to be a lava monster. That was hot in multiple ways, but also weird as the lava seemed to flow out of her unceasingly. It was even weirder that the way it flowed kind of made it look like she was pissing, but then again it wasn’t like anyone else was going to enter her pool as it boiled around her. Some monsters had alligator or dinosaur looks to them, while others could have been mistaken for huge, buff guys, if not for little tells like blue or green skin, horns, and in one case a sharp-toothed, eel-looking thing emerging from its chest.

  As I’d been led to believe, all of them had cocks almost as long and wide as my forearm—a fact that was certain to give me nightmares for years to come. Claws and teeth, boils and all manner of nastiness set the mood. It was like I’d stepped into a mashup of an old Peter Jackson horror film if they were to play it on HBO. While my monster girls had been exactly as I’d fantasized about them being, this room was a fucking nightmare. And the way some of those monsters eyed me and my ladies was terrifying.

  “Ferris, we need to fit in,” Ahlaksiz said, motioning me along. Kinara wrapped her arm through mine and gave me a gentle pull.

  “Right,” I mumbled, not sure exactly how we would fit in, or why we would want to.

  “Call me Blue,” the large monster said, nodding to one of several closets in the room. “Others arrived in costume, some in human disguise until the last minute. You can put your clothes in here, and…” His eyes roamed over me. “Do try to convince them that thing is in disguise—maybe a spell that won’t wear off, or a curse that won’t let it change.”

  “Excuse me?” I asked.

  The monster’s eyes narrowed at being addressed, then he quickly headed back out through the door. As he went, he said, “Your host will be down to the party shortly, and should like a word. Until then, enjoy.”