"Do you think Daddy will ever love me the way that he loves Kole?" I questioned, changing subjects because I didn't want to think about her being there just yet.

  She frowned, grabbing my cheeks in her hands, rubbing the soft skin. "He loves you, he just doesn't realize how much," she explained, kissing the tip of my nose. "You've got something special, Kennedy. Don't you ever forget it."

  I crinkled my nose, not understanding her words. There was nothing special about me. I was plain, uncoordinated. I lacked the physical size to play tennis…and the ability. I had bland, red hair, skinny arms and eyes that didn't fit into a distinct category - sometimes green, sometimes brown.

  "You don't know?" she questioned, feigning surprise. "You must know," she encouraged.

  "Well, I like to sing," I offered. "But that doesn't make me special."

  "Of course it does," she said, her eyes lighting up. "Your voice is beautifully unusual. That's what makes it special. There are a lot of good singers, Kennedy, but it's the unusual that will make you stand out."

  I sighed, not altogether convinced that what she was saying was more than a mother doting over her child, appeasing her. I didn't like to be appeased.

  "I'm tired, Kennedy," she whispered softly. "Will you sing for me? It's the only thing that will make me feel better."

  Her breathing had become heavy and labored. I smiled, pulling her hand into my lap. "Of course."

  I thought hard about what I'd sing for her. Something inside me wanted it to be perfect - just the right song choice to make my mom feel better. My thoughts settled on my song choice - one of her favorites. As I began singing Go Rest High on That Mountain I allowed my mind to focus solely on the words and singing them perfectly for her.

  I heard her mumble 'I love you' about halfway through, her encouragement urging me to continue. A tear slid down my cheek as I sang the last word, because even at such a young age, I knew she was gone.

  Chapter Fifteen

  "Everything's okay," a deep voice murmured just below my ear. "Shhh," came another soothing sound. Thick arms cocooned around me, stifling my remnant whimpers. It still hurt, everything. My mom had been right there, and then she wasn't. Warm lips found my cheeks, covering and removing the drops of salty tears from the surface.

  "Griff?" I mumbled, still trying to shake myself from the vivid memory. My eyes flickered open in unison with my beating heart. His lips grazed softly over mine, quieting my mumbled confusion.

  "Where were you?" he whispered, pulling the blanket down snuggly over our bodies. "I lost you there for a minute."

  "My Mom," I managed, trying to cling desperately to the fading vision of her face. I huffed, still surprised at the personal boundary that I'd just crossed. "I'd blocked everything out because it was easy to." I paused, gripping the edges of the blanket that surrounded my neck. "I'm quite good at dodging things that scare me…like my feelings," I added.

  His lips slid into a devious smile. "Noted."

  I nudged him with my shoulder. "No, seriously. I'm not good at this," I explained, feeling vulnerability sink in. "The us thing."

  "Us…you and me? Or just us in general?" He questioned, his face depicting a genuine interest in my response.

  "Us in general," I answered, the truth feeling good as it poured from my lips. "I'm a bit of a loner, mostly out of necessity. Independence has really implanted itself deeply within me and up until now…up until you," I corrected, "I've been okay with that trait. Found confidence in it." I clenched my fists tightly, relieving some inward frustration. "It's hard for me to admit my faults, but this scares me. I've never been here before."

  His eyes flickered with something bold and beautiful, soft and understanding, that made me feel safe and secure. The rough pads of his thumbs slid gently across my cheekbones. Feelings welled up inside me, like a balloon swelling to its full potential just before popping.

  I loved him. Not only did I love him, but I wanted to tell him. I sucked in sharply, doing my best not to land ass first on the porch. Good Lord how was I going to figure out matters of my heart when I could barely get a grip on my life?

  "Me either," he admitted, "but it's not going to stop me from trying with you. I've already tried to shut my feelings out, but I failed. I won't do it again."

  His words worked their way down to my gut, nestling right next to my relationship insecurities. The two would eventually need to duke it out and I was certain that insecurity would put up one hell of a fight. But right now, love carried a slight edge.

  "Griff I-"

  "There you guys are," Sutter said from the door, the wood creaking on its hinges. "I've been…Oh-" she stammered, her words stopping mid-sentence as she processed the scene before her. "I didn't mean to interrupt."

  Griff's lips curved into a smile as he readjusted me on his lap, being careful to keep the blankets securely locked around us. Hot embarrassment snaked its way up my neck and onto my cheeks as the urge to run crept up on me. As if he could sense the feelings stirring inside me, he gripped one strong arm around my middle, his free hand lacing through the fingers of one of my own.

  "You weren't," he said calmly. "We were just heading back inside."

  "Oh, well, I kinda needed to speak with you both-" Her eyebrows pulled upwards, creating twin peaks. The eyes that mirrored Griff's filled with a mixture of conflicting emotions, each of them playing out in a linear fashion - surprise, humor, shock, embarrassment and then back to surprise.

  Griff cleared his throat, way too comfortable with the situation. "Do you mind?" he questioned, his eyes clouding with humor. He dipped his head pointedly down to me causing more embarrassment to fan across my skin.

  Sutter's cheeks flushed red too. "Oh, yes, of course. I'll meet you out front."

  When I knew that she was safely inside, I swatted a disapproving hand across his chest. "Did you have to make it so obvious?" I gasped.

  He grinned, placing an indulgent kiss onto my disapproving nose. "What? You think she didn't know?" he questioned innocently, moving down to nuzzle the sensitive spot beneath my ear.

  The curve of my back deepened, angling my breasts towards him. The action caused my backside to jerk suddenly across his lap. I was rewarded with an animalistic grunt. I could feel the heat beneath the blankets spike.

  He locked his arms around me to still my body. "Easy," he chided. "I'm not opposed to taking you right here, but you seemed a little more than embarrassed that my sister knows about us," he mumbled, his voice thick and husky, "and she'll have no doubt about the depth in which we're acquainted when you're screaming my name."

  Heat licked at my cheeks again as I sat speechless. What was this man doing to me? One minute, I was crying in his lap, practically telling him I loved him and the next I wanted to jump his bones in front of nature, God and possibly Sutter. "Why do I want to take you up on the offer even when I know that I shouldn't?"

  He cocked an uneven smile, my heart leaping in appreciation. "Because chemistry like ours is unstoppable and downright addictive. The sex is pretty damned amazing too."

  Addictive is right. I was hooked on Griff Callahan like he was a drug - no ifs, ands or buts. "Just pretty amazing?"

  My eyes shot to his as a firm hand circled around my right breast before squeezing down sharply, his action provoking a gasp. "So amazing that it's made me jealous as hell and downright possessive - two things that I've never been because of a woman," he said, his grip softening as he traced his fingers over my nipple. "And dammit if you don't have my brain buzzing with things that I had sworn off," he mumbled.

  "Like what?" I questioned, inwardly willing his lips to utter the three little words that carried such big meaning. Words I'd never said to a man, nor heard. Words that even my father found it hard to say to me.

  "Like love and proposals and marriage and kids…"

  Bug-eyed, shocked and speechless couldn't transfer well onto someone's face. Could it?

  "Don't look at me like I'm crazy, Kennedy Masters. You've put some kind of spell on me and I'm not sure that I can walk away from it." He pulled my lips to his, taking my mouth hungrily with his tongue, forcefully forging a path straight to my heart. When he pulled back, his eyes bore down into mine. "I've never been so scared of something but at the same time, just as intoxicated by it."

  "I know what you mean," I agreed, glad that he was feeling the same things as me. He hadn't said the words, but he'd hinted. And, for now, it would have to do. "We better get inside," I said begrudgingly. "I've got a feeling that whatever Sutter has to say, isn't great news."

  He sighed, releasing me reluctantly from his grasp. "You're probably right," he agreed. We both stood, readjusting the blankets. Griff pinched my chin with his fingers, stealing a soft kiss. "But this conversation is far from over. Nothing that she says can change the way that I feel about you."

  His words slid protectively around my heart, gripping my fears and, at least for the moment, throwing them aside. I stood on my tiptoes, kissing him softly on the cheek. He gathered the coffee cups, dumping what little remained over the porch into the grass before following me inside.

  We found Sutter on the front porch, alone and pacing, ten minutes later. Griff perched his backside casually against the railing, his bare feet doing annoying things to my insides. I had it bad. When well-manicured, manly toes could make you want to practice reproduction, you had two options: lots of sex or therapy. I certainly hoped it was the former because I couldn't afford the latter. Even with the generous check Mick had given me, it'd be stretch. Five thousand dollars wasn't what it used to be.

  "Spill it, Sis," Griff said, folding his arms across his chest.

  "Your brother's threatening World War III back at the house if the both of you aren't found and your sister's been calling your phone for the better part of the morning," Sutter said, directing her last statement towards me. Her eyes filled with worry, causing my gut to line with guilt. She was sandwiched uncomfortably between two angry brothers, my insertion into the situation creating a heightened state of bitterness, and I wasn't sure if there was a whole hell of a lot that I could do to make things better.

  Griff's eyebrows shot up, his lips flattening into a disapproving thin line. "I thought he was leaving this morning."

  "He was," Sutter said slowly, her hands slipping into the back pocket of her jeans. "Until he realized the two of you were both gone…together…alone," she said as she rocked nervously back and forth on her feet. "Griff, I've never seen him this angry," she confessed, her words coming out on an exhaled breath. Her worrisome eyes looked at her brother pleadingly. "I don't know what to do. He's told Mitchell to reschedule the next few dates on the tour. I'm afraid that this move, coupled with the recent engagement could ruin his career."

  My heart stopped. Literally stood still in my chest. I grabbed the frame of the door for support.

  "He's an even bigger idiot than I thought," Griff seethed. "And he's got no one to blame but himself."

  "Griff, please," Sutter pled. She stepped forward hesitantly, placing a gentle hand over his forearm. "I know he's acting rash, but I need you to be the levelheaded brother that you are and help me figure out a solution. Music is all he's got. We can't let him lose that. We're family."

  He sighed, pulling his lips into his mouth as he contemplated her words. Snapping his eyes shut as he drove frustrated fingers into the sockets, he took a few calculated breaths before responding. "I won't let him ruin this for me," he said sharply, his eyes working to convey the seriousness of the words. "Kennedy is mine, Sutter. I'm sorry if he feels differently."

  Sutter patted his arm, forcing a soft smile. "I understand," she said. "No one's going to take that from the two of you. Hell, anyone with two eyes could see the attraction brewing between you. And how the two of you managed to fight it up until this point, is beyond me. But maybe we could just let things pan out first-"

  "Absolutely not," Griff fired, cutting in. "I'll do my best to convince him that his most recent decision is complete idiocy without patronizing him, but I will not pretend that I do not have feelings for Kennedy."

  "Griffin, you and I both know that Mick lacks the ability to lose gracefully. If you go through with this - telling him that you two are together - we have no way of knowing how he'll react," she pointed out.

  "You're absolutely right," Griff agreed through unbridled frustration. "And quite frankly, I could give two shits about how he'll react. Give him some booze and a busty blonde and I'm sure he'll be fine by the end of the night."

  "Griff, please. This isn't the time for the bitterness between the two of you to reign supreme. We've got to figure out a way to get through this…together."

  Griff heaved another frustrated sigh, his hands going to his hips. "Alright, fine. Go on back to the house, tell the bull in the China shop that we're fine and we'll be that way shortly. I've got to straighten things up here first," he instructed.

  "You promise?"

  "Yes, I promise," Griff replied, sounding like he was talking to his mother. "We'll be there shortly."

  Sutter smiled the first smile that I'd seen from her that day. She pulled my phone from the pocket of her cream colored button-up, handing it over to me before patting my shoulder. "Do yourself a favor and call your sister back. From the amount of missed phone calls, I get the feeling that she might be worried," she said sweetly. "And it's never good when a sister worries," she added, eyeballing the both of us before sending us a wink. She turned on the heel of her boot and headed towards her truck. "See you two love birds in a few," she called over her shoulder.

  We both snickered, despite the things that awaited us back at his house. "Have I told you that I love your sister?" I questioned, unable to hide the childish giggle that tumbled from my lips.

  "My intentions were for you to fall in love with me first," he deadpanned.

  Oh, how easily the switch could flip. How did he do that? Corner me with ease? And how in the hell was I supposed to come to terms with the fact that I may never have the upper hand again? Not, at least, if I chose to stay with this man. "I already told you that I've never felt this way about anyone. How much more could it mean to say those three words?" I questioned, missing the perfect opportunity to tell him the words that I already knew to be true.

  "A hell of a lot more," he stated, looking about half a second away from tackling me like a lineman. "And if we had more time, I'd show you exactly how much more it meant."

  "I was only kidding," I managed, backpedaling.

  Holy snickerdoodles! I was really fumbling this opportunity.

  "Let's get one thing straight. Love and/or us, isn't something that you kid about," he said heatedly, before heading back inside.

  "You are such and idiot, Kennedy," I mumbled, watching his retreating form disappear.

  My rash decisions and loose lips needed to figure out which side they were on: love or insecurity. Quickly. Or else I might not have a choice in the end. And that was not an option.

  My fingers dug into the acrylic that covered the outside of my phone. Kole would know what to do. She had to. And just as soon as I talked her down from jumping from the emotional cliff that I was sure she was standing over, toes gripping the edge, I'd ask her for her advice…And, maybe, give her the green light to head in my direction.

  "Kennedy?" she practically screamed, picking up on the first ring. "Oh my God, Kennedy! I've been trying to reach you," she blabbered, her words coming out as fast as her tongue could produce them. "I've been seeing all these things. Hearing all these strange reports. Engaged? To Mick?" I had to stifle a laugh. She said his name like he was a dirty politician. "I thought you said that you had everything under control? First the…compromising…pictures and now this."

  Her voice hissed over the words, causing my stomach to take a remorseful tumble. I could mentally see her forehead scrunching up into apprehensive crinkles, highlighting her equally apprehensive brown eyes.

  "I do," I shot back because I wanted it to be true. "I mean, I thought I did," I corrected, frowning over the truthful answer. I sighed heavily, hoping to alleviate some of the heaviness on my heart. "I'm in a…situation," I managed, my voice faltering as I attempted to stifle the sudden urge to cry.

  "Kenny, whatever it is, we'll get through it, alright?"

  I nodded.

  "Kennedy?" she questioned when I didn't answer.

  I pulled myself together the best that I could. "I'm here, Kole."

  She was polite enough to allow some time to transpire, a nicety that I hadn't afforded her in the past. I had mocked her time after time, considering her life too safe, too boring, and now I was seeking advice on how to make my life somewhat resemble hers. Hypocrite.

  "Want to talk about it?"

  No, of course not. Because what I really wanted was to pretend like all of the bad stuff wasn't happening. I wanted to keep the Griff parts and throw away all the rest. I needed her advice though…And I needed her to reassure me that I wasn't the fuck-up that I was.

  Basically, I needed her to lie to me. The truth pierced through me forcefully, a wave of nausea following closely behind. I'd successfully gotten myself into exactly what I'd been fearful of.

  "Which part?" I questioned, swallowing back the lump in my throat. "The part where I was unceremoniously proposed to in front of CMT cameras? Or the fact that my manager hasn't called and checked on me since the photos leaked? Hmm? Or the fact that I've suffered a detrimental blow to my music career and I'm not good at anything else?"

  "Kennedy-"

  "Don't patronize me, Kole," I snapped, taking the irritation with myself out on her. "Please," I added, rethinking my tone.

  "Kennedy, you know I wasn't," she said, her voice full of empathy.

  I sighed. "I know. I'm sorry," I mumbled, squeezing my eyes tightly together. "I'm just trying to come to terms with the fact that my days of being a performer are basically over," I said, my stomach taking another unexpected plunge.

  "Maybe that's not true," she rushed to reassure me.