Ethan got comfortable as well and simply held her hand, thankful for her companionship and comfort. He’d never told anyone of his nightmares before for fear that they’d think him weak, perhaps. His older brothers had been with him, but they didn’t seem changed for the experience. Unless they held their silence for the same reason.

  “Do ye ken if there are any more eggs,” Fanella asked after they’d sat in silence for a bit.

  “I don’t know because Lady hasn’t moved from the nest.”

  Her shoulders drooped. “I hope they have more.”

  “Why is that?” he smiled down at her.

  “Fanella looked everywhere but at him. “I was thinkin’ that if maybe there are too many for Her Grace, and bein’ that yer brother doesna like parrots, that perhaps I could have one ta raise.”

  It was unlikely that his aunt would part with even one parrot, but Ethan also believed he could talk her into giving just one to Fanella. “What would your family say? Would they even mind.”

  “I doona ken, not that it matters, as it would be mine.”

  Ethan could tell her that it does matter because parrots could be disturbing with flying about the manor and repeating the phrases they’d learned, but he wasn’t about to tell her that she’d need to gain permission from her brother. He’d already learned the lesson of telling her what she was allowed to do.

  “I’ll talk to Her Grace and see if she’d be willing to part with one of the parrots.”

  “Oh, thank ye, Ethan.” A moment later she threw her arms about his neck. Had he known this would be her reaction, he would have promised her much sooner.

  As his lips met hers, she sank against him and Ethan pulled her tight against his body, he could almost imagine how perfectly they’d fit together in the most intimate of ways.

  Just because he wanted her didn’t mean he could have her, Ethan reminded himself. He was bound for New Orleans and she’d soon be returning to Scotland, which made these moments so much more important, achingly so.

  When had Fanella crawled into his heart and how was it possible that she did so in so short a time?

  Chapter 16

  Fanella had slept much later than she intended, but she also hadn’t found her bed until the early morning hours, having stayed up most of the night with Ethan. They talked for hours and he shared with her stories of his life in Kentucky and then in New Orleans, the plantation, crops, the buildings where the servants lived and how most of them had come from Haiti following the Haitian revolution and practiced a strange religion. They were free people of color who worked the land for the Copelands, living in what had once been slave cabins, and they spoke English, French and sometimes Spanish. His father had been insistent that his family would not own slaves, as every man has a right to determine his own future, with which Ethan had completely agreed.

  He admitted that his father probably felt this way because so much of his life had been controlled by his father, and it was so much worse for a person of color, that he wasn’t going to compound an already difficult situation for the Haitians.

  Ethan’s world was so foreign and fascinating and Fanella wanted nothing more than to visit. He’d asked about her home, but it was boring in comparison. She wouldn’t be surprised that once Ethan sailed home, he’d forget all about her. But, she’d never forget about him and hopefully, she’d have a parrot of her own to remember him by.

  For it being Christmas Day, it was a quiet day. Later, they’d enjoy a Christmas feast and then musical entertainment, which Fanella dreaded. But, in the meantime, there was little to do.

  Of course, there were several guests in the castle, and she could spend time visiting, but she already knew the MacGregors and saw them often. She knew the Trents because her older brother was married to a sister, so they were practically family, and the only Copeland that held her interest was Ethan.

  In fact, he occupied far too many of her thoughts and was a constant presence in her mind even when he was not in the room.

  Such an attachment could not be good for her heart, but it was one she didn’t wish to break, even though she was in danger of it being broken when she returned home.

  Why did he have to live in America? Why couldn’t Ethan remain in England, like his brother? Or, move to Scotland and learn to make whisky the right way.

  Then again, if she lived in a place as wonderful as New Orleans, she’d not want to remain here either.

  “Do you wish to explore the castle further?”

  Fanella nearly jumped when Ethan came up from behind her, startling her enough to make her heart race.

  “Where do ye wish to explore?”

  “The passages,” he whispered.

  “Without a chaperone?” she asked, equally quiet in her tone.

  “I think we’ve proven that one is not necessary, and as long as we aren’t caught, where is the harm?”

  Fanella bit her bottom lip, wondering if she should venture with him. When they’d been locked in the cell, they’d not had much choice, then last night, she’d only gone to him out of concern, and while the household slept. This was different. Everyone was up and about, and they could be discovered by stepping out of a panel at the wrong time into the wrong room and in front of witnesses, just like Lady Claresta and Donovan had done.

  It wasn’t that she didn’t want to spend more time with Ethan. She just didn’t want him to be forced to spend the rest of his life with her.

  “We shouldna,” she finally said even though she’d disappointed herself. “We could be caught and I doona wish to fight with Duncan, at least not on Christmas.”

  “We won’t be caught,” he insisted.

  “How can ye be so certain?” she demanded.

  Though he opened his mouth a few times to speak, Fanella knew that he couldn’t make that assurance.

  “We shall explore when there is less of a chance of bein’ discovered.”

  Ethan lifted her hand to his lips. “I will hold you to that promise.”

  Why didn’t she wish to be alone with him? Ethan asked himself the question all afternoon and through the evening meal.

  He knew that she was afraid that they’d be caught, but was it because she didn’t want to be forced into a more permanent attachment? Was she only interested in spending time with him for the short duration of her stay and then would happily return home and not think of him again?

  The thoughts did not sit well and he didn’t like the idea of being left behind or forgotten and there was a very good chance that if she returned to Falkirk, his heart would go with her.

  Nobody had ever come to him with concern and want to soothe his worries as Fanella had come to him last night. Nor had he ever shared so much time talking with anyone. The subjects had flowed from one to another, yet there was still so much to say. They’d only parted when neither one of them could keep their eyes open any longer. And even though it had been his fear, the nightmares hadn’t visited him last night. Ethan knew he had Fanella to thank for chasing them away.

  He needed her, and he wanted her. Did she not need or want him?

  But, how could he return to Louisiana without her?

  How had Fanella become so important to him in such a short time? Surely it was impossible to fall in love so quickly, but what other reason could there be?

  As the gathering made their way into the music room following supper, Ethan pulled Donovan aside.

  “Could I have a moment in private, please?”

  He frowned with curiosity, then led him to an empty room and closed the door.

  “Do ye have a concern?”

  “How soon did you know you loved Claresta and that you needed her in your life?”

  Slowly he smiled. “I knew almost immediately.”

  “I find that hard to believe.” Ethan knew how they’d met and it wasn’t under the most ideal circumstances, especially since Donovan didn’t even know who Claresta was until a year later.

  “It’s hard to explain, but I was drawn to her immediately, and as soon as we danced and then kissed, somethin’ inside of me shifted.”

  Perhaps Ethan wasn’t mad for feeling the way he did in such a short time.

  “I couldn’t forget Claresta, even though I didn’t know her name, and then when I found her, those feelings only grew. I never thought it was possible ta love someone so quickly, but it is. Our betrothal is proof of that.”

  “Thank you for telling me.”

  “Can I assume this has somethin’ ta do with Fanella?” he asked, and in that moment, Ethan remembered that Donovan was a close friend of Fanella’s family. He’d be lucky if Donovan didn’t call him out, and that was the very reason he wasn’t going to divulge the time they’d spent together.

  “Yes, it does,” he finally answered.

  “Does she feel the same for ye?”

  “I’m not certain.”

  “Well, make certain before you consider a future.”

  Future? Did they even have one? “I’m not certain it would matter,” he finally admitted. “Her family is in Scotland and I will be returning to America.

  “You doona think she will go with ye?”

  “I’ve been too afraid to ask,” Ethan admitted. “And, even if she did, what if she hated it and wished to return home.”

  “If I ken Fanella, and I do, she’ll want the adventure of what is New Orleans and America, as long as ye promise to bring her home on occasion.”

  “On occasion?”

  “Aye, I ken that is months of sailin’ and visitin’ but if ye truly want her, I believe that is a compromise that ye must make.”

  Was he willing to do so?

  “Thank you, Donovan.”

  As Ethan turned to leave, Donovan placed a hand on his shoulder. “I’m assumin’ none of her brothers know of your interest.”

  “I don’t believe so, but you did.”

  “That is because I know about the first night and the wine so I’ve been watchin’.”

  “Why?”

  “Fanella might as well be another cousin for as close as our families are, and I wanted to make certain she was not hurt.”

  “I wouldn’t do that,” Ethan assured Donovan then quit the room in search of Fanella.

  Chapter 17

  Fanella found a seat at the back of the room. Sitting through musical performances was not something she enjoyed, but it would be rude not to attend since everyone else had come here directly from supper, except Donovan and Ethan.

  Where had they gone off to and why were they exempt from sitting through the entertainment?

  Just as one of the Copeland sisters finished singing a ballad, the two men slipped in through the back. Donovan took his seat beside Lady Claresta and Ethan found a place to stand along the wall directly behind Fanella. She could feel his eyes on her as another Copeland sister took her place at the pianoforte. She played beautifully and Fanella wished Ethan would have joined her so that she could hear him sing again. The first time had been the song when they were locked in the cell, then last night his rich baritone made her enjoy and appreciate the hymns more than she had in the past.

  As the song ended with polite applause, Her Grace stood.

  “Who else would like to perform?”

  Only a few had shared their talents but given the size of the gathering, Fanella had expected to be in here for a good portion of the evening.

  Fanella glanced around waiting to see who would next perform but nobody offered.

  “Nobody?” Her Grace asked before her eyes lit on Fanella and Jesse. “Miss Fanella, do you have a musical offering.”

  “No,” Duncan and Ian answered at the same time, much to Fanella’s embarrassment.

  “I do not sing or play, Your Grace,” Fanella finally answered as her face heated. Listening to Rogue and Lady scream at each other was more pleasant to the ears than her singing and Fanella wouldn’t torture the guests or embarrass herself.

  Unfazed, the duchess glanced to Jesse. “Do you sing or play Miss Jesse?” she asked.

  Jesse sank back in her chair and glanced around. “Nay, Your Grace.”

  The duchess glanced about the room again. “Will anyone else sing or play?”

  Again, nobody offered their talents.

  “Well, then I suppose a card party is in order,” she offered happily, much to the relief and agreement of her guests.

  Except Fanella didn’t wish to play cards. She wanted to spend more time with Ethan. For those reasons, she waited so the two of them could enter the card room together, which would hopefully put them at the same table. Even if they weren’t partners, they would be together. However, once they gained the room, all of the seats had been claimed, mostly by the women as the men continued on to the library. No doubt they were going to enjoy all manner of spirits while the ladies enjoyed tea. Not that Fanella wished to partake in drinking. In fact, despite her knowledge of whisky, she drank very little of it, only tasting at home and occasionally at the MacGregors.

  “Meet me in the conservatory,” Ethan whispered in her ear.

  “Now?” Fanella questioned. It would seem odd if she left immediately, especially as the games were beginning and those not playing were settling in for tea. Someone might notice and follow.

  “Half an hour and bring the mistletoe,” he whispered and then he was gone. Fanella quickly glanced at the clock to gauge the time and with each moment that passed, her excitement mounted. They had so few days left together and she’d much rather spend this evening as they had the night before, not in here making polite conversation with the other wedding guests.

  Oh, she knew she shouldn’t be alone with Ethan and that her reputation could be tarnished if anyone ever discovered them, but Fanella couldn’t not be with him. She’d never met anyone like Ethan Copeland, and she was unlikely to ever again. He had her heart and even though there was a danger of her returning to Scotland without it, Fanella was willing to take the chance.

  He wanted her to bring the mistletoe, but Fanella no longer had it, as mistletoe doesn’t hold up well tucked inside the sleeve of a dress. However, the problem was solved quickly enough as it was hanging practically everywhere in the castle and as she made her way to the conservatory, she reached up and grabbed a sprig and cradled it in her hand.

  Ethan was already waiting for her when she entered, and her heart hitched.

  He was such a handsome man, and just the memories of his kisses began to warm her.

  “Did you bring it?” he asked.

  Fanella held it out to him.

  “I brought something for you as well.”

  What could he possibly have that she would want?

  His smile was slow as he slipped a hand into his coat then withdrew a pewter flask. Taking the mistletoe from her, he set them both on the table and gestured for her to sit.

  Fanella studied him as she sank onto the cushioned seat, curious as to what he was about. There was something different about Ethan tonight. An intensity in his green eyes that had not been there before, and it was as if his usual confidence was missing. Was he nervous?

  Was something wrong?

  Ethan settled beside her and took her hands in his. “There is something I’d like to discuss with you.”

  He was so serious that it almost scared her.

  “I know that you return to Falkirk the day after the wedding.”

  She nodded, wishing the days would go a bit slower so that she’d have more time with him.

  “We don’t plan on sailing for home until the end of February, but I might not be able to even then because I don’t know how long it will be before the chicks hatch or how long they’ll need their parents.”

  That was at least two months away, but little good it did when she’d be in Scotland and he would be here.

  “This is highly unusual, but would your family consent to remaining at the castle longer? Maybe into January?”

  Her breath hitched. He didn’t want to be parted either. “They willna be able ta remain. There is too much that needs to be done back home and it’s just Mother and Mary while we are here.”

  Ethan nodded. “Would they consent to you remaining?”

  Just her, alone with him? Though they wouldn’t truly be alone as the Duke and Duchess would remain in residence, along with the three maiden aunts, Ethan’s siblings, as well as a castle full of servants. But, Fanella could imagine Duncan’s reaction, and she didn’t believe that Ian or Lachlan would be agreeable either. “I doona think they will allow it.”

  “I didn’t think so, but I wanted to ask.” He offered a small smile. “If one of my sisters made the same request, I know what my reaction would be.” This time he chuckled. “As you cannot remain here, would your family allow me to visit.”

  This time her heart swelled with hope. “Aye. They’d allow it and I’d like it verra much.”

  “Maybe you can even show me how you Scots make whisky.”

  “I willna be showin’ ye our secrets to the best whisky in Scotland,” she teased.

  However, it wouldn’t do to get her hopes up if Ethan simply wanted to further their friendship when she longed for more. “Why do ye wish to visit?” she asked quietly.

  “Do you really need to ask?”

  She nodded because she needed to hear him say the words.

  “I’ve developed a very strong attachment to you Fanella Grant. I fear to trust my heart because I’ve known you such a short time, which is why I wish to court you to see if my heart is true.”

  Jubilation burst inside of Fanella. “I feel the same, but it’s scary as ye are still a stranger but ye arena.”

  “Hardly a stranger.” He winked at her.

  “Aye, but I’ve not known ye long enough to really ken ye. Or, I shouldna feel as if I ken ye as well as I do after meetin’ such a short time ago. Yet sometimes, it feels as if I’ve always known ye, when it’s impossible. Oh, I am not makin’ any sense am I?”

  “Yes, you are, because I feel the same and it’s the very reason I wish to spend more time with you. My heart is telling me one thing but my mind is warning me as well.”