The room is quiet, just the sound of the IV machine beeping.

  “Y-you sound d-de-definite,” a croaking voice says.

  My head pops up. Her eyes are closed, but I know I heard her. Am I losing my mind?

  “Baby, can you open your eyes for me?” I ask, hope lacing each word.

  “Bright,” she whispers.

  My eyes water and a smile tips my lips as I jump from my chair and rush to the switch on the wall, killing the lights. Standing beside her bed, I take her hand in mine. “The lights are out. Show me those eyes, beautiful. It’s been too damn long.”

  I watch with bated breath as she slowly blinks. I wait patiently, giving her time to adjust. When she focuses on me, I lose it, tears rolling down my face. Leaning in, I kiss her softly. “I missed you, Ren.”

  “Zach?” she asks. “You held him?”

  “You heard me?” She nods. “He’s perfect. I can’t wait for you to meet him. I need to go tell them you’re awake so they can look you over. I’ll be right back. Okay?”

  “Don’t go,” she says softly.

  “Okay.” Leaning in, I kiss her again, then hit the call button next to her bed.

  “Mr. Lewis.” Beth enters the room breathless, as if she ran to the call.

  “She’s awake!” I say much too loudly, causing Lauren to wince in pain. “Sorry, baby,” I murmur.

  “Hello, Mrs. Lewis. I’m Beth. How are you feeling?”

  “Thirsty,” she replies.

  “I’ll grab you some water and page the doctor. Welcome back,” Beth says before leaving the room.

  The next hour is a whirlwind of activity. The doctor comes in to examine her and gives her the go-ahead for ice chips and then some soft foods. Our family filters in saying hello, with lots of tears and hugs and smiles. It’s not until Gavin walks in that the room quiets down.

  “It’s about time you wake up,” he teases, leaning in to kiss her cheek. “I have something here you might want to see.”

  Her eyes light up and I know what he’s going to show her. I forgot about him taking pictures until just now. Gavin taps a few buttons on his phone and hands it to Lauren. I’m sitting beside her on the bed, looking over her shoulder.

  “Oh my,” she breathes. “He’s so tiny.”

  “He is,” I agree.

  She thumbs through the pictures as Gavin tells her the day he took them. He’s documented everything on his phone, from diaper changes to facial expressions.

  “Gavin, thank you,” Lauren says, her voice thick.

  “I didn’t want either of you to miss it.”

  Lauren looks up at me. “I want to see him.”

  “Okay, baby. Let me go talk to the nurse.”

  Fifteen minutes later, Beth and I are lifting Lauren into a wheelchair and taking her to Zach. It wasn’t without a fight. They tried to tell us it was too soon, that she needed to wait. They rattled off a lot of medical jargon, but Lauren said she was ready. Decision made. We’re not waiting. She needs to see our son. He needs to hear her voice.

  Kathy greets us at the door with tears in her eyes and a blinding smile. “He’s ready for you,” she tells Lauren, holding the door open while I push the wheelchair inside.

  At the crib, Lauren offers him her finger and he takes it immediately.

  “Hey, baby boy,” she whispers. “I’m your momma.”

  Zach stirs at the sound of her voice.

  “Would you like to hold him?” Kathy asks.

  Lauren nods emphatically, unable to find the words. I stand back and watch as Kathy lifts him from his crib, just as she did for me earlier today.

  “Can you open your gown?” she asks Lauren. I jump into action and help her pull it down, and she blushes about being bare in the open room. “It’s just us,” Kathy assures her, then gently lays Zach on Lauren’s chest.

  Lauren kisses the top of his head, her hand on his back. Tears are rolling down her cheeks. “I love you.”

  Zach appears to be fussy, rooting around.

  “Shhh. It’s okay, sweet boy,” Lauren coos. “Mommy’s got you.” Just like he did with me, he relaxes into her. “I’m so sorry that I’m just now coming to you. I would’ve been here if I could’ve. I love you,” she tells him again.

  I join them, kneeling beside her wheelchair. I place my hand over hers, so they’re both resting on our son.

  “I loved you hard, Ren. Both of you, just like you told me to. I’m so sorry this happened to you, but I thank God every day for bringing you back to me. For giving Zachary the will to fight.”

  I rest my head on her lap and take the first full breath I’ve taken in days. My world is righted by a pair of brown eyes and the grip of a little man who stole my heart just like his mother. Never will I ever take the life we have for granted. I’ll never let a day go by without either of them knowing how much I love them.

  Leaving the hospital without my baby boy guts me. He should be home with us. “Just for tonight,” Tristan says reaching over and grabbing my hand, linking our fingers together. It’s a little after ten at night and visiting hours were over long ago, but they let us stay. The hospital staff has been amazing. “Let’s get you a good night’s rest, some food, and a hot shower. We’ll go back as soon as we wake up. I promise.”

  “Okay,” I whisper. I know he’s right, we need to stay strong for Zach and I know he’s in good hands. The remainder of the ride home is silent. Tristan never breaks our connection as he drives us home.

  “Food or shower first?” he asks once we are in the house.

  “Shower,” I say needing to wash away the grime of the hospital.

  “Let’s get you set up and then I’ll come back down and make you a sandwich.”

  “I can get it,” I tell him.

  “Humor me, baby. I thought I lost you,” he says his voice filled with the anguish he’s been living since the accident. I nod my acceptance. Tristan places his hand on the small of my back and follows me slowly up the stairs. “Let me carry you,” he offers.

  Whipping my head around I pierce him with a look. “I can walk. My legs are not broken.” I know he’s just trying to be nice, to take care of me, that’s what he does. I just can’t seem to control my anger.

  Tristan is quiet, leaving his hand on my back following me slowly up the stairs. By the time I reach the top, I’m exhausted and I know I should have let him carry me. “I’ll start the water,” he says once we in our room.

  Very carefully I strip out of my clothes and follow him into the bathroom. My husband, the incredible man his is, is standing with his arm in the shower testing the water. When he deems it acceptable, he removes his arm and dries it on a towel. “Thank you, Tristan,” I say grabbing his arm and pulling him to me.

  Gently, he wraps his arms around me. “I love you, Lauren. I want him here too, but he’s going to be okay. You’re both okay and to me, that’s everything.” With a kiss to my temple, he releases me and walks out the door.

  The hot water feels amazing on my back. I’m carful to no let the stream hit my incision from my c-section. I feel like I’ve lost so much, but at the same time, gained as well. I wanted to witness my son being born, hear his first cry. I wanted to breast feed him. I wanted to see Tristan’s face when we got to meet our son for the first time. I lost that. Memories, I will never be able to have.

  I gained too. I gained my baby boy, so tiny and so precious with my nose and his daddy’s full lips. He’s healthy and getting stronger every single day. I gained perspective on life. That you can never take it for granted. I am reminded of what an amazing support system we have with our friends and family. I am reminded of the incredible man I married. I don’t know how I ever doubted him in the beginning. He’s been nothing but all in from day one and I let my fear blind that.

  After my shower, I slip into one of Tristan’s shrrst and a pair of cotton panties, that he laid for me on the counter. “Hey,” I say when I find him in our bedroom eating a sandwich.

  “Hey, I made you one.” He points to the tray sitting in the middle of the bed. “There are chips and cookies too.”

  “What are we having?”

  “Peanut Butter and jelly.” He smiles. “Not much in the fridge and what is in there, I threw out.”

  “Yeah, I’m sure that was a pretty sight.” I sit on the edge of the bed and scoot back slowly. I know he wants to offer to help the way her stops eating and watches my every move. “I’m good,” I tell him. Once I’m settled he moves the tray to where I can reach it. I pick up a sandwich and take a huge bite. “This is better than hospital food,” I admit.

  He laughs. “I’m not sure that’s much of a compliment, babe.”

  We devour our dinner of peanut butter and jelly, chips and cookies. “Thank you,” I tell him as he clears the tray away.

  “Love you, Ren,” he replies. “I’m going to run this down to the kitchen and then take a shower. Leaning over the bed, he kisses me softly before walking out the door.

  Tristan’s back in the bedroom as I’m maneuvering to slide under the cover. “Can I-” he stops.

  “Please,” I answer his unspoken question.

  My husband, my white knight jumps into action and helps me pull the covers out from under me. He adjusts my pillows and pulls the covers over me. “You want the remote?” he asks.

  “No. I’m exhausted.”

  “Sleep baby. I’ll be right back.”

  I snuggle under the covers and close my eyes. All I see is the car in my rear view mirror, all I hear is the clanking of metal against the pavement and the taste of copper.

  “Hey, you okay?” Tristan asks. I feel his warm hand as he cups my cheek.

  Slowly I open my eyes. “I can’t stop seeing it, hearing it, tasting it. When will it go away?” I ask my voice cracking. I’m haunted by the memories of the accident.

  “Oh, baby.” He scoots close and wraps his arms around me.

  I let the warmth of his arms and his familiar scent wash over me. He’s my safe haven. I can feel my body relax in his hold. How could I have questioned him? “I’m sorry.”

  “No. Don’t you ever apologize. This is not on you, Lauren.”

  “I know. I’m sorry that I didn’t believe in you, in us. I pushed you away and I’m so sorry,” I sob against his chest.

  “Shh, that’s in the past and you told me. It was two weeks and I get it. You had to come to grips with it. It’s behind us. You’re my wife.” He kisses my temple. “We have a handsome baby boy,” he adds.

  “I couldn’t do this without you.”

  “You wouldn’t be in this position if it were not for me.”

  “What are you talking about?”

  “The detective called. They found the driver of the SUV.”

  “And,” I say lifting my head to look at him. Pain is etched across his face.

  “It was Tracy,” he grits out.

  I take a deep breath and slowly exhale. “Is she in custody?”

  “Yes. He assured me that she will be going away for a long time.”

  “Good.”

  “Good? That’s all you have to say?”

  “I refuse to let her wreck another part of our life. I’m home, Zachary is getting stronger every day. She didn’t break us. We know who is responsible, she’s finally being charged and punished appropriately. I feel as though I’ve taken my first full breath since I woke up. We can move forward and put it all behind us. All we have left to do is live.”

  “Love,” he says kissing my lips softly.

  “Love I agree.”

  “Love you hard, Mrs. Lewis.”

  “Love you too, Mr. Lewis.”

  Two long tiring weeks, that’s how long we’ve been driving back and forth from the hospital. We start our day there, early and stay as late as the nursing staff will let us. If we had our way we wouldn’t leave until he does. Today, that changes. Our little man is a fighter and growing by leaps and bounds. This means he gets to come home today. Finally, I’ll have all of my heart under one roof.

  “I can’t wait!” Lauren exclaims when I find her in the kitchen. She’s on the phone talking to her parents, I assume. “Yes, give us a couple of days to get settled, but you know you are always welcome,” she tells them. “Yeah, we are leaving to pick him up in a few. I’ll call you. Promise. Okay. Love you too.”

  “Your parents?” I ask although I already know the answer.

  “Yeah, they wanted to drive back up today and I told them to wait. I just want a day or two to be us. You know?” she asks.

  “I could not have said it better myself,” I tell her.

  She grins up at me. “Are you ready to go get our boy, Daddy?”

  “I’ve been ready.” Giving her a quick kiss, I grab my keys and follow her out to the garage. Her SUV was totaled so we replaced it. Same exact thing, color and all. We need normalcy. Lauren loved that SUV after the shock wore off that I bought it for her, for us.

  The drive is quiet as we’re both lost in our thoughts, today is a big day for us. It’s not the day that either of us dreamed up when we found out we were having a baby, but dreams change. The end result is the same. Our son is coming home. Grabbing the car seat out of the back, I link fingers with my wife and we head inside. On the elevator, I can see her smile reflected back at me. It mirrors my own. I can’t believe this day is finally here.

  When we reach the floor to the nursery we scan our bracelets which give us access and turn the corner. I stop in my tracks. Standing outside the nursery is our family. Every single one of them. My parents, Lauren’s, Kacen, Logan, Drew, Cole, Stacy, and Gavin. I can’t help but get a little chocked up at the sight of them.

  “What are you doing here?” Lauren says with surprise.

  “We know you all want to have some time alone, and we want to give you a couple of days to settle in and just be, but we needed to be here support you through this. We want to welcome baby Zach home and celebrate that fact that that little man is a fighter,” Gavin explains.

  “Ready?” Kathy asks. She holds the door open and allows us to walk through. Zachary is bundled up in a bed, not one with lights and tubes, just a normal baby bed. “Hey, Zach, you have some visitors,” Kathy says lifting him from his crib. She walks to Lauren and hands him to her.

  A sob falls from her lips and she cuddles him to her chest. Sitting his seat on the floor, I wrap my arms around them from behind and hold them both. “Love you, Ren,” I whisper. She nods unable to speak through her tears. Reaching out I offer Zach my finger and he latches on. “Love you too, Zachary.”

  Reaching into my pocket I hand Kathy my cell phone. “Do you mind taking a picture?”

  “Or course not.”

  I wrap my arms back around my family and smile for the camera. This is most definitely a day I want to remember. After placing my phone back in my pocket, I take Zach from Lauren, kiss the top of his little head and place him in his seat. Kathy watches to make sure I’m doing it correctly. I’ll never admit to her that I’ve spent more time than I care to admit strapping a teddy bear into this very seat. I needed to make sure I knew what I was doing and did it correctly. This is my son’s safety we’re talking about.

  “Look at that, you’re a pro,” Kathy praises me.

  I bite back my smile. “Ready to go home, son?” I ask the slumbering baby.

  “Here’s his bag.” Kathy hands it to Lauren, but I intercept it and throw it over my shoulder. “Thank you for taking such good care of him,” I tell her.

  “I don’t know what we would have done without you and your staff,” Lauren says pulling her into a hug.

  “He’s a precious little angel. I’m going to miss him, but so happy he gets to go home.”

  “We’ll be sure to keep in touch,” Lauren promises. “Ready?” she asks me with excitement lighting her eyes.

  “Absolutely.” Lifting the seat, I follow her out into the hallway. We’re greeted with cheers and hoots and hollers. The crowd is now more than just our family. Lauren’s doctors, her nursing staff, and the rest of the nursery staff who are obviously here on their day off are here as well.

  “I don’t know what to say?” Lauren says with tears in her eyes.

  “We love you both,” Kacen speaks up. “Go home and get settled. We’ll all be there in a couple of days to get to know Zach a little better.”

  “We’re right across the street if you need us,” Lauren’s mom says.

  I look at Kace and mouth “thank you.” He nods. Clearing my throat, I speak over the crowd. “Thank you all for being here, today and yesterday and all the days before and those to come after. We could not have survived this journey without your love and support. I’d love to stay and talk, but we have a little man who needs to see his new room.”

  Adjusting the sleeping baby in the car seat in one hand, I place the other hand over my wife’s shoulders as we walk toward the elevators. I love that everyone was here for us, but I need them in our home. Just for a while the three of us. I need our home to feel complete, and this little bundle of joy will do just that.

  Snapping the car seat into the SUV, I help Lauren climb into the backseat. The entire way home, Lauren talks to him, tells him about his room, about the band and everyone who was there to see him home today. I keep glancing at them in the rear view mirror every time I stop. I’m not willing to take my eyes off the road when we’re moving. This is precious cargo after all.

  “Let me get him,” I tell Lauren when we pull into the garage. Removing the seat, I grab his diaper bag and then offer my wife a hand as she climbs out of the SUV. I don’t stop, instead I take Zach up to his room. Setting his car seat on the floor, I bend down and unbuckle him. Lauren walks toward us and I open my arms for her. Holding them both.

  “Welcome home, Zachary Ethan Lewis,” she whispers.

  I close my eyes and relish the feeling of having them both in my arms, in our home, safe and sound. There is no other moment in time that I’ve ever felt this deep soul crushing love. Our adventure is just beginning.

  Of that I am definite.

  The soft sounds of the piano wake me. Blinking open my eyes, the room is dark. A quick glance at the alarm clock tells me it’s three in the morning. The light on the baby monitor is off which means my husband and son are awake. I smile at just the thought of them. Zach has been home from the hospital for a month today. We’re having family over to celebrate.