“What is it?” Jill asked as they left the men’s room.

  Claire followed her gaze to her new bump and shrugged. “A bump. Just a bump.”

  “Yeah, but what’s it look like under there?” Jill reached for the zipper of her trousers, but Claire knocked her hand away.

  “There is no under there. Under there is me, remember? This is me. There are no clothes. It’s really all just me.”

  “Right,” Jill said slowly and gave an abrupt nod. “We need to find a picture of Brad naked.”

  “What?” Claire asked with disbelief and then snapped, “Do not even think it.”

  “Oh please,” Jill pleaded. “Just once. You could keep your mouth shut and I could have my fantasy night. You’d never have to buy me a birthday gift or Christmas present ever again.” She tried the pitiful expression that always worked on Claire, but this time she wasn’t falling for it. This whole Brad nonsense was ruining her date with Kyle, a date she’d waited forever for. She was all out of sympathy.

  “You’ve lost your mind,” Claire snapped impatiently. “These are my lips, my eyes looking out, and my brain. I am not Brad Cruise and neither am I a lesbian, and I am so not having sex with you.”

  Jill sighed, giving up the attempt to talk her into it. “Yeah…I get it. Too bad though.” She suddenly reached out to poke at the lump. “Where does it feel like I’m poking you?”

  “My leg,” Claire answered.

  “Really?” She poked some more. “That’s kind of weird, isn’t it? I guess it means that leg cells were used to make up the lump and—”

  “Jill! Magda was just telling Maureen and me—”

  Claire and Jill glanced over with surprise as Meredith rushed out of the women’s room with Maureen on her heels. Her words had died abruptly and she gaped as she spotted Jill standing there with her hand on “Brad’s package.”

  “What?” Maureen peered over Meredith’s shoulder with curiosity at her sudden silence, then said, “Oh,” as she took in what appeared to be Jill caught feeling up the superstar.

  “Sorry,” Jill said, retracting her hand as Claire flushed with embarrassment. “I was…er…talking to Brad. What is it Magda was saying?”

  Meredith hesitated, exchanging a glance with Maureen, then she grabbed Jill’s arm and pulled her several feet away. The three women went into a huddle and began to whisper in earnest.

  Claire shook her head, wondering if this night would ever end. As abruptly as it had started, the huddle broke apart. Meredith and Maureen threw Claire/Brad almost leering smiles as they rushed off back toward the gymnasium.

  “Well?” Claire asked as Jill returned to her side. “What did they say?”

  “That Magda kissed you in the women’s washroom and felt you up and you had no package.”

  “Shoot. I was afraid of that.” Claire sighed. “What did you say?”

  “That Magda was just jealous. That she dragged you into the bathroom, threw herself at you, kissed you and you said she was a lousy kisser and gave her the brush off and she’s jealous so she’s spreading false stories.”

  “Smart,” Claire said with a smile.

  “Yeah. It helps that Brad Cruise did that full frontal nudity scene in the British movie he did last year. There was a definite package there.”

  Claire blinked. “That was like a split second on the screen, too fast to see anything.”

  “You’ve never heard of pause?” Jill asked, arching one eyebrow.

  “You paused it to see him nude?” she asked with disbelief.

  “Me and twenty million other women. Why do you think the DVD sold so well?”

  “Dear God,” Claire muttered. “I am so seeing a side of you I didn’t know about.”

  “Sure you knew about it,” Jill countered. “You know me better than anyone. Maybe it’s just different because you’re a guy now. Kind of.”

  “Could be.” Claire sighed and promised herself she would never again slag men for being pigs. Women could be just as bad. “Now that the crisis is handled, can I change back into me?”

  “Yeah, go on.”

  Claire turned back to the men’s room with relief, only to stiffen as she noted the door was cracked open. As she stared, it opened the rest of the way, revealing the man who had been listening to everything.

  “Kyle!” Claire squawked and then covered her mouth with horror at having given the gig away.

  Kyle arched his eyebrows sternly, but merely said, “I find it hard to believe that neither of you thought to check to see if you were alone in the bathroom before talking so freely. Anyone might have heard you.”

  “But how did you get here?” Jill asked with dismay. “We left you at the table.”

  “I followed.”

  “When? I didn’t see you,” Jill said with bewilderment.

  “You were busy talking to Ted when I slipped by. Telling him you weren’t interested in his offer to start dating again,” he added dryly.

  “He had the balls to ask you out again?” Claire asked with amazement, then smiled. “So you got to be the dumper after all.”

  “It wasn’t as much fun as I thought it would be,” Jill told her morosely. “Really, he turned out to be a major greaseball.”

  Claire started to pat her back in sympathy, then gave a startled bleat as Kyle suddenly tugged her into the men’s room.

  “Hey!” Jill followed them, but Kyle just dragged Claire into a booth and slammed the door in his sister’s face.

  “Would you care to explain?” he asked as he bolted the door.

  Claire opened her mouth, but he forestalled her by saying, “On second thought, don’t bother. I heard enough to understand. I gather the destabilizer had an effect after all?”

  “Did it!” Jill snorted from outside the booth even as Claire nodded.

  Kyle tossed a glare toward the door, but merely asked, “More than the chameleon effect?”

  “Yes,” Claire said reluctantly. “I can shape-shift.”

  “I take it you discovered this while I was at the grocery store?”

  Claire nodded again.

  “And you didn’t tell me when I came back.”

  Claire eyed him warily. Kyle’s expression was blank; no emotion showing at all, but there was something in his voice that suggested he wasn’t at all happy.

  “Why?” he finally asked, allowing his anger to now show.

  “Because she didn’t want you to see her as a lab rat,” Jill answered from outside the booth when Claire hesitated.

  “A lab rat?” Kyle unlocked the door and jerked it open to glare at his sister.

  Jill immediately squeezed inside, forcing Claire to move between the toilet and one wall of the booth.

  Kyle hesitated, then pushed the stall door closed and bolted it again. “What do you mean she didn’t want me to see her as a lab rat?”

  “Well, you’re a scientist,” Jill pointed out with a shrug, as if that said it all. Then she added, “And you’d finally just asked her out after the two of you have mooned over each other for years. Claire didn’t want to spoil it by telling you what had happened. She was afraid the scientist in you would start to see her as an experimental subject rather than a date.”

  Kyle hesitated for a moment, then opened the door again and pushed his sister out.

  “Hey! You can’t leave me out here,” Jill protested as he locked the door again. “What if someone comes in?”

  “Then get out of the men’s room,” Kyle suggested.

  There was a moment of silence, then the tap of Jill’s high heels moved into the booth on their right as she said, “Not on your life, brother. This is partially my fault and I am not leaving you two alone to screw things up.”

  Kyle rolled his eyes and sighed, but turned to Claire and said, “I may be a scientist, Claire, but I could never see you as just an experiment. I am a man, too.”

  A snort came from overhead, drawing their attention to the fact that Jill had apparently mounted the toilet to look over the top of the stall.

  “Will you leave us alone?” Kyle asked with exasperation.

  “Not till I straighten this out,” Jill insisted. “I love you two too much to see you ruin this chance.”

  Kyle opened his mouth to snap at her, then seemed to change his mind. “Okay, say what you have to say and then go.”

  Jill nodded her satisfaction, and turned to Claire. “See, he isn’t as stupid as most men. He knows women are better at communication and lets me talk.”

  Claire bit her lip to keep back a laugh and nodded solemnly.

  “So, Kyle,” Jill turned her attention to her brother. “Claire’s liked you forever. I’ve listened to her moan over you since we were twelve, and if you think it’s easy hearing someone rhapsodize over your brother, think again. But she was my friend and she liked you, so I put up with it. And Claire.” She turned to Claire now. “Kyle has been secretly lusting after you for just as long. He’s had a snapshot of you in his wallet since he started carrying a wallet, and he has another bigger picture of you hidden in his top drawer at home.”

  “How did you know—” Kyle began, but Jill cut him off.

  “Today, you”—she glared at her brother—“finally had the nerve to ask her out, and Claire accepted. Unfortunately, she’d already agreed to help me out tonight. The only fair solution was to do both. She didn’t want to,” Jill added. “She just wanted to go out with you, but I blackmailed her into it by threatening to tell you about her new…er…abilities. Okay? Now kiss and make up.”

  There was a moment of silence as Kyle surveyed Claire/Brad, then he raised his eyes to his sister and said succinctly, “Out.”

  Jill opened her mouth as if to protest, then seemed to think better of it and shrugged. “I’ll be waiting in the hall.”

  She disappeared from the top of the booth and they heard the tap of her heels as she exited the stall and left the men’s room.

  Kyle sighed with relief and turned to Claire.

  She stared up at him wide-eyed, her palms suddenly sweaty at the idea of his finally kissing her, but after a hesitation, Kyle cleared his throat and shook his head. “I know it’s you in there, but do you think you could change back to yourself now? I really don’t want to kiss you as Brad.”

  “Oh.” Claire jerked up the pictures she still held in her hand and switched the snapshot of her to the top. She hesitated, suddenly shy, but then bowed her head and concentrated on the picture.

  “Wow,” Kyle breathed and Claire relaxed and peered down at herself to see she was back in the black satin dress. She was herself again. Claire glanced up.

  “There you are,” he said gently and lifted his hand to caress one cheek, then before she was quite ready, his mouth dropped to cover hers.

  Claire stilled, her heart thumping in her chest as Kyle kissed her, then she released a little moan and relaxed against him. For one moment, she’d feared what would happen. What if his kiss wasn’t all she’d imagined it would be? Reality would be hard pressed to compare to more than ten years of fantasy, but there was nothing to fear. Unlike Magda, Kyle knew how to kiss. His mouth was firm on hers, slanting over her own and sending her pulse racing as he slid his tongue out to urge her mouth open.

  She opened for him, welcoming him in with an excited gasp that died abruptly as the bathroom door opened outside the stall. They both stood frozen, listening for Jill’s tapping shoes, but there was no tapping.

  Releasing her, Kyle moved to the door and peered out at the room beyond through the crack between door and stall. Claire guessed by his frown, and the fact that he didn’t berate Jill, that someone else had entered the bathroom. A man, she presumed since it was a men’s room.

  Kyle turned back and raised a finger to his lips to warn her to silence, then a stall door farther down the row squeaked as it was opened. Kyle waited until it had closed, then unlocked their door, and led her quickly out of the stall.

  “You changed back!” Jill cried on spotting them.

  “Of course, she did,” Kyle said with irritation. “She’s my date too.”

  “Yes, but—” Jill said, then hesitated, her expression calculating before she said, “I’ll make a deal with you. She changes back to Brad so that we can leave together, then she’s all yours for the rest of the night.”

  Claire’s eyes widened with surprise. “You don’t want me to continue being your date too?”

  “No. There’s no need to carry on the charade. Everyone’s seen me with Brad Cruise. That’s all I wanted. Besides, it’s ruining your date.” She glanced from Claire to Kyle. “And it’s not like you can talk anyway. So it’s like a serious instance of show and tell. Well I’ve shown, and told them enough. I can go home happy now.”

  Claire felt Kyle relax beside her and knew he was feeling the same relief now coursing through her.

  “Then, too,” Jill added with an evil grin, “they’ll all just think I went home to have hot monkey sex with Brad Cruise anyway. And if they don’t, I’ll be sure to spread the rumor myself.”

  “Hot monkey sex?” Claire echoed with disbelief. “I’ve got news for you, Jill, I’ve seen two monkeys have sex and it’s not pretty.”

  “She’s right,” Kyle informed his sister. “Not pretty at all.”

  “Oh God!” Jill shook her head with despair. “Honestly, the pair of you deserve each other. You’re both pathetic. Sex between any species is not pretty. It’s not supposed to be. It’s—” She stopped abruptly, then said, “Eww! You mean like you two have stood there and watched monkeys have sex? That’s sick!”

  Claire and Kyle exchanged glances, but Kyle spoke first. “I saw them at University when I was working as a T.A. in the lab. I didn’t stand there and watch, but I saw enough.”

  “Well, I did watch,” Claire admitted with a bit of embarrassment. “But it was part of my job at the time, we were studying…” She paused and shook her head. “Never mind. Let’s get me changed and get you and Brad out of here, so Kyle and I can have our date.”

  “Good idea.” Jill led her into the empty women’s washroom, and into a stall.

  “Hey!” she protested when Kyle squeezed in with them.

  “I want to see,” Kyle said.

  “Well, get up on the toilet seat then,” Jill ordered after a hesitation. “That way if anyone enters and peers under the stall door it won’t look so weird. They’ll just see that two women are in here.”

  “And that’s not weird?” Kyle asked with disbelief.

  “Not as weird as two women and a man,” she pointed out dryly. “We could just be gossiping, or comforting one another over something. Just get on the toilet,” she finished when he stared in doubt.

  Shrugging, Kyle carefully maneuvered himself to stand on the toilet seat and Jill relaxed and turned to Claire. “Okay, go for it.”

  Claire lifted the pictures and switched her own to the bottom so that Brad Cruise smiled back at her. She cast an almost apologetic glance Kyle’s way, then turned her attention to the picture. Claire had barely begun to concentrate on the magazine photo when the outer bathroom door opened. Jill half jerked around toward the stall door at the sound, bumping Claire’s hand. She gasped with alarm as the pictures slipped from her fingers. They shot down like paper airplanes, curving to the side on a draft and sliding under the divider between the stalls.

  Instinct made Claire bend to grab for them, but then she froze as the door to the neighboring stall suddenly opened. Hissing with alarm, Jill caught at her arm to bring her upright even as Claire saw that she was now wearing the black blazer of Brad Cruise. It seemed she’d managed to change into Brad that quickly. Amazing, she thought, retracting her suit-covered arm before it could be seen. Claire straightened once more and the three of them exchanged slightly embarrassed grimaces as they waited for the woman to finish her business and leave.

  All three breathed a sigh of relief when the toilet next door finally flushed and the door opened. Claire immediately bent and peered at the floor in the next stall, frowning when she saw that there was only one picture there now. It was the snapshot, she saw, and it had come to rest near the opposite side of the next stall, too far away for her to reach it at the moment.

  “Where’s the other one? Where’s Brad?” Jill asked in a bare whisper against her ear and Claire shrugged her confusion.

  “What is it?” Kyle hissed from his perch on the toilet. They straightened and whispered the explanation to him. All three stared at each other blankly, each trying to sort out where the picture might have gone as they listened to the sound of water running in the sinks in the main part of the bathroom, then Jill’s eyes widened. Lifting her eyebrows in question, she jerked a thumb toward the door.

  Claire stared at her, taking a minute to realize she was suggesting the woman who had entered must have picked it up. Frowning over the possibility, Claire moved to press her face to the crack on one side of the door. Jill promptly crowded up next to her to peer out the crack on the other side.

  Claire had a pretty good view of the girl through the crack as she turned off the taps and walked over to the hand drier, good enough to see that she wasn’t carrying any pictures in her hand. There didn’t appear to be any pockets in the form-fitting black dress the woman was wearing either, she noted.

  Claire was about to pull away from the crack and kneel to give the floor of the next booth a more thorough look over, when Kyle gave a “psst.” Both she and Jill glanced over their shoulders to find he’d stood up on the toilet to look out at the room. Obviously he’d seen something they’d missed, for he was gesturing down toward his feet. Claire glanced down, didn’t see anything and glanced back up to find Kyle pointing toward the door.

  Claire turned back to her crack and peered out, this time focusing on the woman’s legs, then feet. At first she didn’t see anything, then as the girl finished at the hand drier and turned to walk out of the room, her eyes widened incredulously at the sight of the folded magazine photo stuck to the bottom of one high-heeled shoe.

  5

  “That is so me,” Claire muttered as the door closed behind the girl with the picture-bearing shoe.