Ivy frowned and crossed her arms. “You should tell Billie then. If you leave without speaking to her, she’ll get upset.”

  I couldn’t stay. It was selfish on my part, but Billie’s revelations ate away inside and I wanted to reflect on everything she had thrown at me. Hopefully she’d understand because she was back and healthy, and all we had was time.

  “I don’t want to bother her right now. Can you do me a favor and explain? She’ll understand I had to leave.” The rain came down harder, and I winced. “I hate driving in this weather.”

  Ivy’s friendly stare turned into a hard glare. “I wouldn’t want to be in your shoes when Billie confronts you. She’s going to be pissed.”

  “But you’re not in my shoes, so you don’t have to worry.” I took out my car keys, ready to make a run for it in the deluge.

  “You’re right, I’ve never been in your shoes, although I once wanted to be.” Ivy turned on her heel and left.

  Since it felt like my head was about to explode from the expanding pressure and unshed tears, I didn’t even try to figure out what that meant. I hurried toward the front entrance and out into the rain.

  Chapter Six

  Instead of hiding under the covers when I got home, I took a hot shower, the second one of the day, and cried. I cried over Billie’s health scare and years apart because we were both so obstinate and wouldn’t reach out, to understand and to forgive. Six years of my life were gone in an instant. Who knew if another six or even more would have vanished in a blink of an eye if Billie had never come back?

  The raging storm that had freaked me out at the restaurant was now calming. If I hadn’t panicked, had stayed a bit longer, I would have avoided a harrowing drive home. Wearing shorts and a tank top, I settled in the corner of the couch with a glass of warm milk. Open windows in the living room and bedroom admitted a cool breeze.

  Storms reminded me too much of the two nights that almost ruined my life. The first, when Mom had her car accident on rain-slicked roads. The second, less than two weeks later when the surgeon announced she would never walk again. I had tried to remain strong, not only for her, but for Dad who, for the first time in my life, broke down in tears, his voice on the phone choked and broken. Hearing that strong man suffer had driven home the knowledge our happy home would never be the same.

  It was the night I’d decided I’d do whatever I could to make things easier for my parents. I’d thought I could rely on Billie to help me, but I was mistaken….

  I hung up the phone after Dad updated me on Mom’s condition then sat in the living room, trying not to cry. The second surgery had gone well. I’d wanted to be at the hospital, but he’d asked me to stay home and field phone calls there.

  The doorbell rang. Who would be outside on a night like this? It had been raining on and off for most of the day and now it was pouring, too much like the night Mom almost died.

  I opened the front door to find Billie. Without waiting for me to ask her to come in, she drew me in for a hug. I held her tight and breathed in her damp hair. We separated and she kissed me and then placed her forehead against mine. All the tightness in my muscles loosened. Now, with Billie here, I wouldn’t feel so alone and afraid.

  “How was work?” I tugged her into the living room and onto the couch.

  We held hands. “It was a slow night at the café because of this shit weather.” She dropped her arm around my shoulder and I nestled against her side. “How did your mom’s surgery go?”

  “I just got off the phone with my dad. She’s doing okay. They’re going to move her to the new rehab center next week.” I rubbed my eyes, trying to keep my tears in check.

  “Aw, Mandy, I wish I could help in some way.” She gathered me near and rested her cheek on top of my head.

  “You here is exactly what I need.” I shifted in close to soak up her warmth.

  She nudged my chin up and we shared a few kisses. I really wasn’t in the mood to go further, but this was nice. I could spend hours kissing her even if I wasn’t interested in more.

  After a minute or so, she moved back and swiped the pad of her finger along the edge of my cheek and chin. It tickled. I took her finger and bit down gently on the tip.

  “I love you so much.” She gave me a kiss that made me want to change my mind and take her upstairs to my bedroom.

  I smiled against her mouth. “And I love you. If I didn’t have you in my life and helping me with my mom, I’d be in a very bad place.”

  Billie’s possessive stare made my stomach flip. I pressed my palm against hers and folded my fingers down in a strong clasp. She played with my hair, and my eyelids drifted shut. I hadn’t gotten much sleep since Mom’s accident, and now snuggling with Billie made me drowsy.

  “Have you told your parents about moving with me to LA?”

  I opened my eyes and blinked. “Um, no. I’ve had other things to worry about.”

  Her hand stilled, and the tension lines in her forehead and around her mouth appeared. “Mandy, we’re supposed to leave at the end of the month.”

  I sat up straight. She couldn’t be serious. “I can’t leave my mom like this. I have to stay.”

  “I understand, but…I still need to go. This is my big break.” She spoke slowly like I might have difficulty understanding her words.

  “I know. I’m happy for you.” I patted her leg, hiding my annoyance at her stating the obvious.

  “I guess I can set things up in our apartment, and then you can fly out in the next few weeks…why are you looking at me weird?”

  I shook my head, astonished she would ask me such a thing with all the pain my family was going through. This was a side of her I’d never seen before. I didn’t like it.

  I stood and hugged my chest, flinching when thunder boomed and more rain hit the window behind me. “I can’t go to LA. I’m needed here. If I told my parents I was leaving with you, rather than going to school in the fall, they would flip out.”

  Billie’s jaw dropped and she dragged her fingers through her hair. “You can’t put your life on hold because of what happened to your mom. She’ll get better. Mrs. B will understand about you and me—”

  “How can you be so selfish?” Why was she playing dumb? She knew my situation. “My mom will never walk again! I can’t leave her and follow my girlfriend who wants to play rock star in sunny California. I have to stay here and stick to the plan my parents have for me.”

  “And what’s the plan they have for you, Amanda?” She rubbed her palms on her jeans.

  She rarely said my full name unless we were making out or she was upset with me. Since I wasn’t in the mood to kiss her, and I assumed she felt the same, it had to be the latter. What gave her the right to be angry?

  “Mom and Dad are so proud about my full scholarship to Hillsboro U. After Mom’s accident, I can’t tell them I’m giving that up and moving to California with you. I have to stay here.”

  “So, I’m supposed to go to the West Coast without you? There’s a good chance I won’t come back for months, maybe even a year.”

  “We can e-mail and call one another—”

  “Are you serious?” She jumped up from the couch and folded her hands behind her head. “Long distance relationships don’t last. I can’t believe you’re doing this to us.”

  Black spots appeared in front of my eyes, and it wasn’t because I was dizzy or I was having a migraine. I counted to ten to calm my temper, but I was beyond controlling myself.

  “How can you ask me to choose? This is my mom’s health we’re talking about! If it happened to you, I would understand. You of all people should know how it feels to deal with something like this.”

  Billie dropped her arms to her sides. A range of emotions crossed her face from misery to grief and, finally, sadness. “I can’t stay here, even for you. If I don’t go to California, I’ll miss a once-in-a-lifetime chance.”

  “I know that. You have to do what’s good for you, just like I have to do what’s right for me.” I swallowed the lump in my throat.

  “I guess this is it, then?”

  I became dizzy. She’s not breaking up with me—

  The phone rang. I flinched from the sound.

  “You’d better answer it. Might be about your mom,” she whispered.

  I hurried into the kitchen. The person on the line said hello and started asking a million questions. I heard a door slam and looked into the living room. Billie wasn’t there. She had left….

  The doorbell ringing along with the pounding brought me back to the present. It must be important for someone to visit me during this messy weather. I thought of Mom and hurried to answer the door. The person standing before me looked like she’d gone swimming.

  “Billie, you’re a mess.” I said the first thing that came to my mind and beckoned her in.

  Her hair was flattened and dripping along with the rest of her. Her dress clung to her body, her nipples pushing against the fabric. She held her sandals and brushed the bottom of one foot over the top of the other. Her toe ring sparkled and droplets glittered on her magenta toe nails.

  “Don’t you have an umbrella?” I went to the linen closet and grabbed two towels.

  She took them and patted herself dry. “I don’t have one. At least the rain’s letting up.”

  “You should still get changed.”

  “Have a change of clothes for me?”

  “I may have a T-shirt and a pair of shorts to loan you. Or, better yet, you can run back to your aunt and uncle’s house and change there.” She looked so beautiful, all wet. If we were on friendlier terms or there wasn’t such hurt and mistrust between us, I would have told her to strip and use my shower. Then I would have joined her there.

  Her tongue came out and swiped her bottom lip.

  I cleared my throat and sat down on the arm of the couch. “What are you doing here? Did the party end?”

  “After my speech, which my uncle forced me to give, I looked for you. I’m sick of us running around one another. We need to clear the air, once and for all.”

  “Didn’t you ride with your aunt and uncle?” Wouldn’t they still be at the party? It was still pretty early.

  “Ivy drove me back. She’s at the house, watching a movie or something.” She stepped toward me and I jumped up.

  “Let me find you something to—hey!”

  Billie’s arm came around my waist, and I flinched, startled.

  “You’re getting me all wet.” I groaned at the implication in my sentence.

  She smiled and squeezed my hip.

  Lightning lit up the room, and a loud boom of thunder crashed. I jumped and closed my eyes, trying to slow my heartbeat thudding in my eardrums.

  “I remember a storm exactly like this six years ago. It was one of the worst nights of my life,” she whispered in an anguished tone.

  “The worst night of my life was when Mom had her car accident. The second….” I inhaled a shaky breath. “Was the night of her second surgery when you came to my house and told me you were still leaving with or without me. You didn’t even bother to say good-bye.”

  Billie’s hand flexed against my hip, and she drew me in until my chest flattened against hers. Her mouth brushed the top of my head. “I was so dumb and selfish. I thought you would contact me after things settled down with your mom, but you never did.”

  “I waited for you to call or write me, but you didn’t. I thought you wanted a clean break and…I was busy taking care of Mom, keeping Dad sane, and then school started. The next thing I knew, a year flew by, and then two, and finally, six.” I clenched my eyes shut, forcing back tears.

  “We both screwed up and paid for it.” She cupped my nape.

  “I wish I could have been there for you when you went through your cancer scare.” I opened my eyes and gazed up at her.

  Billie’s eyes sparkled with tears, and she shuddered against me. “I wanted you there. I was so afraid. I thought about my mom’s illness and her death. She left me when she promised me she wouldn’t.”

  A tear fell from the corner of her eye, and she bit down hard on her lip. I guided her to the couch, damp dress and all, and drew her into my arms.

  She dropped her cheek on my shoulder and told me how sorry she was for abandoning me and for the rude way she reappeared, expecting me to take her back. She also talked about her mom, her amazing career, and her medical trauma.

  I was more than happy to be that shoulder she cried on. The heavy pit in my stomach and all the tension I’d carried in my back for six years vanished. Right then and there, with Billie in my arms, all my fears and sadness, as well as my resentment became a thing of the past.

  I had to make her believe the same in order for us to move on.

  She stopped crying and sat up, blew her nose into a towel, and rested her head against the couch.

  “Ugh, I’m such a girl. I can’t believe I unloaded like this.”

  “I’m glad you did.” I swiped a piece of her hair away from her eye.

  She turned her face toward me and grimaced. “My ass has probably left a big stain on the cushion I’m sitting on.”

  I snickered, not caring one bit. “The couch is old. I’m due to buy a new one. Let me get you a change of clothes. You have to be uncomfortable in your dress.”

  I went into my bedroom and picked out a T-shirt and pair of shorts I thought would fit Billie. I held the clothes to my chest and peered out the window. The rain had lessened, and the thunder and lightning wasn’t as intense as before.

  “Storms still frighten you?”

  I turned around as Billie walked into the room. My chest loosened, and I smiled. “Storms do rattle me a little bit, but not as much as they used to.”

  “Remember the sleepovers we had as kids? You always asked me to sleep over when it rained.” She came to stand beside me.

  I held out the clothes for her. “I still remember the first sleepover we had. I think it was a few months after you moved next door. I was so excited to have someone to play with.”

  Her face lit up. “I loved being your neighbor and your friend. And then my dream came true when you kissed me at seventeen.”

  “You have a bad memory. You kissed me, remember? All to the sweet sounds of Barry.” I sat down on the end of my bed.

  She hugged the clothes to her chest. “Most of my favorite memories are with you.”

  My face warming, I studied the floor. “Same here.”

  “I’m going to get changed and then—” She paused, and I glanced back up. She wiggled her toes in the carpet and her face turned bright red.

  “And then?” I asked.

  “I don’t want to leave yet. Will you let me stay? To talk?”

  I wanted to sweep her up in my arms and cuddle her. An idea popped into my head. My wish had a good chance of becoming a reality.

  “I’d love for you to stay. Want to sleep over for old time’s sake?”

  A huge grin broke out on Billie’s face. “Sure. In your bed?”

  The warmth on my face traveled down and landed in my belly. “You bet.”

  “Okay.” She turned on her heel and went into the bathroom.

  I dropped my face into my hands and laughed. Our last sleepover had been the Saturday after graduation. We didn’t get much sleep that night because we were busy talking about our future, which morphed into some heavy duty kissing and petting. Billie was the only one I had ever made love to. There had been no others since.

  I pulled down the covers and settled back against my pillow up against the headboard. Whatever happened next between me and Billie was uncertain, but I was willing to see where it went and hoped for the best.

  She came back in and shut off the light, leaving only the glow of the night-light air diffuser plugged in near the bed. She lay down next to me, her arm against my leg. I shifted down until I lay on my side facing her. I could just make out the features on her face. I ran my fingers across her cheek and her lips lifted.

  She didn’t kiss me. I didn’t either, but I drew her arm around me, wanting to break the ice. She tangled our legs together. I traced the waistband of the shorts she wore with a nail, trying to ignore my nervousness.

  Sighing, she combed her fingers through my hair. “Tell me everything I’ve missed out on.”

  I settled against Billie and brought her up to speed on my life until I drifted off to sleep.

  Chapter Seven

  A stray hair landed on my nose. I flicked it away and yawned, trying to fall back to sleep but something tickled my stomach under my T-shirt. I opened my eyes and blinked. As the sky slowly brightened, an arm—Billie’s—lay limp on my hip, and her palm resting on my bare stomach. Her soft breath warmed the nape of my neck. My back was flush against her front and her leg in between both of mine.

  I was more than comfortable spooning with Billie. I couldn’t remember falling asleep. It must have been late because we had talked for hours.

  She groaned, shifting her hand up higher. I covered it with mine.

  “Amanda.”

  Shutting my eyes, I swallowed. “Yes.”

  “Turn around.”

  I twisted around onto my side and faced her. She had faint red lines from the crease in the pillow and her eyes were barely open, but one corner of her mouth tilted up in a smile I’d missed for so long. “What time is it?” I asked, lifting my head up to see my clock radio.

  “Too early,” she whispered and shifted closer until I lay on my back and she leaned over me. Instead of removing her hand under my back, she kept it there, while her other hand pushed back my hair, fanning it across my pillow.

  “How long has it been?” she asked.

  I hugged her neck. “How long has it been since what?” I played coy and ran my toes along her calf.

  She murmured against my lips, “The last time you were with someone?”