I nodded. “Yeah, I understand. I guess I hadn’t thought about it before.”

  “A lot of people don’t think about it anymore. I didn’t.” He blew out a breath. “Can you believe that a hundred years ago, people didn’t think twice about hugging their kids? They might’ve been wrong about a lot of things back then, but they sure got that one right.”

  “It’s hard to imagine, you know? Being allowed to…” I slid my hand up his arm, marveling at contact that generations before us had never questioned.

  “Yeah, it is. Physical affection didn’t used to be a crime. I mean, it was for men together, but guys like us got a little taste of legal contact for a little while before everyone lost that right.” He sighed, absently stroking my hair. “That’s something I’ve always wanted. I’ve been kind of a loner my whole life, but only because when I do meet someone, I want more than I can have.”

  I draped my arm across his chest and rested my head on his shoulder. “It’s so weird, you know? The sim movement, the fact that wireless sex is dirty and horrible; I never really questioned any of it before. But now…”

  “We weren’t meant to live like this. There’s a reason they let mothers hold their babies against their skin until they’re like six months old. It’s a biological imperative.” He ran his hand down my arm. “But for some reason, everyone thinks we can do without it once we’re past infancy. And maybe some people can. I’m not one of them.”

  “Apparently I’m not either.”

  “I know you’re not. And yeah, it’s tougher to get by in this world when you know everything they’re feeding you is bullshit, but I’d rather do that than live without, well, this.”

  “Yeah. I understand now.” I pushed myself up onto my elbow and rested my head in my hand. I trailed a fingertip along the contour of one of his well-defined biceps.

  Our eyes met.

  He touched my cheek, and then drew me in for a kiss. It started out light and quick, but when he backed off, I stopped him, and when our lips met again, he wrapped his arms around me. Little by little, the kiss deepened, and we held each other closer.

  There was no sim for this. For lying beside someone, kissing lazily and touching. The electrodes and the artificial pheromones couldn’t give me goose bumps like this, and the machinery didn’t—couldn’t?—replicate the smooth coolness of hair between my fingers or the gentle warmth of a hand resting on my waist. Intimacy didn’t exist inside a stark, empty sim chamber, but here, there was nothing else.

  The building shuddered. All around us, the walls creaked and groaned. Something cracked.

  We didn’t even look up. The rotting structure could’ve collapsed on top of us right then and there, but we didn’t stop. Let the whole thing come crashing down if it meant the last thing I ever felt was Aiden’s embrace and his soft, languid kiss.

  Eventually, long after the building had stopped shaking, we separated as gently as we’d come together, and I met his eyes beneath the harsh light of the overhead bulb.

  “You know,” he said, “to be quite honest, I could live without sex.” He trailed his fingertips down my cheek. “But this is what makes coming to a wireless lounge worth the risk.”

  I nodded, swallowing hard. “Yeah. I’m starting to get that.” I moistened my lips. “But is this… is it all we can do together?”

  “What do you mean?”

  “I mean… I want to see you more. Not just here. Even if it means we can’t touch.”

  His eyebrows rose. “So, out in the city? In the open? Like… a date?”

  I nodded, suddenly sure he was going to shoot the idea down and tell me I was being an idiot.

  But instead, Aiden smiled. “Name the time and place.”

  Chapter 12

  Three nights later, we met a few blocks down from the simhouse, and Aiden hailed a cab.

  The cab looked like it belonged on the other side of the tracks with its bald tires and doors held on by corrosion. The driver was falling apart at the seams as well.

  “Where to?” he asked, revealing corn-kernel teeth that obviously hadn’t been subjected to the government’s rigorous free public health programs. Not recently anyway.

  Aiden gave him an address, and after a twenty-minute drive into the middle of the sector, we were there.

  The building turned out to be one of those shimmering high rises, and an elevator took us to the top floor, where a maître d’ seated us at a table near one of the gigantic windows. The view was spectacular, especially since the polarized glass cut down on the haze, giving the illusion that the air was perfectly clear between here and the ocean.

  “Wow.” I lowered myself into a chair. “I can’t believe I didn’t know about this place.”

  “Same here.” Aiden smiled across the table, and my heart fluttered. In this light, without the pale fluorescent glow from the simhouse or all the bright flickering colors or the harsh shadows in the private rooms, I could see him. Really see him.

  I cleared my throat before I stared too long, and shifted my attention to the menu. As I scrolled through the options, I asked, “Any recommendations?”

  “Not really. Haven’t been here myself. But it all looks pretty damned good.”

  We perused the menus, and made small talk, and ordered food, all of which was probably amazing, except I barely tasted anything. I was too focused on Aiden, and I couldn’t shake the feeling of how surreal this was. Sitting across from Aiden, out in the open. Here, there was no danger. We were suited, gloved, with a table between us. Perfectly legal and benign. There’d be no sex tonight. Not even kissing.

  And yet, every time I looked at him, my heart sped up.

  Maybe I’d just come to associate Aiden with the danger of wireless sex. That danger had gotten as addictive and exhilarating as the sex itself, after all—just thinking about it could ratchet my pulse skyward.

  Except it wasn’t only when I looked at him. That quiet laugh. The wicked smile that crinkled the corners of his eyes. Just as I’d barely tasted the food, I barely heard most of our conversation because I was just too focused on him. It wasn’t like we could talk about anything we’d done together. One eavesdropper from another table and we’d be in a world of trouble. So we kept it mundane, which was just as well. At least then I wasn’t missing anything too critical when I caught myself staring at him while my mind wandered back to what his warm embrace felt like.

  After we’d eaten and paid, we returned to the street below, but neither of us wanted to go home just yet. Instead, we wandered along the sidewalk, side by side but not touching, which still felt so strange with him. I’d grown accustomed to lying next to him, resting a hand on his chest and feeling his heart beat while he combed his fingers through my hair. All of that was criminal, of course, but staying this far away from him felt even more so.

  I glanced at him as we walked. “It’s funny. I know you more intimately than anyone else, but I still feel like I don’t know you.”

  “Well.” He shrugged. “What else do you want to know?”

  “I don’t know. For starters, um, do you have family around here?”

  “Not anymore. It’s… just me.”

  My chest tightened. “I’m sorry to hear it.”

  He shook his head. “It’s all right. It’s been a long time.” He fell silent, staring at the pavement as we strolled past shops and people. “I never knew my dad. He was a cop in the slums, so…”

  I cringed. “You don’t have to elaborate.” It was a sad truth that cops didn’t last long in the slums. No one did, but the cops were especially short-lived in that area.

  “Yeah, you know how it is.” Aiden exhaled. “So he died when I was two. It was just me and my mom until I was sixteen, and then she got one of those cancers they could’ve cured, except by the time it was detected, there was too much damage.”

  “Fuck. I’m sorry.”

  “The thing is, when she was dying, she kept begging me to take off my glove and hold her hand. I was scared to, but one of the nurses told me no one would find out. So I did.” He swallowed like it took a lot of work. “By that point, she was skin and bones. And I… I’ve always regretted not knowing what my mom’s hands felt like when she was still healthy. I mean, she’d held my hand as a kid, but it was always with gloves on.” He turned to me. “It just doesn’t seem right that the only time I can remember touching my mom’s hand was when she was almost gone.”

  My heart sank. I couldn’t even imagine.

  “That was the first time I questioned all of this.” He gestured at our suits. “How fucked up it is that we can’t touch each other. Not even innocently. So when someone came along and suggested I go wireless, I didn’t even hesitate.”

  “I don’t think I would’ve either.”

  We walked in silence for a while.

  “I’m surprised you’re not married yet,” he said out of the blue. “Seems like simtechs usually rate pretty high on the scale.”

  “Yeah. I’ve actually met a really nice woman. We’re approved for four kids.”

  “No shit?” Aiden’s eyebrows jumped. “Four?”

  I nodded.

  “Congrats.”

  “Thanks.” I paused. “I don’t know. We’ve been out a few times. We get along well enough. Everything seems perfect by the book and the government’s standards. But after everything we’ve done…”

  Aiden winced. “Sorry. Maybe the timing wasn’t so great.”

  “I’m starting to think the timing was perfect. Better I get hooked on this now than after I’m married. At least this way I can either get it out of my system, or let her go.”

  “Let her go?” Aiden stopped and faced me, shaking his head. “You don’t want to pass up a wife for this, Keith.”

  “No, I don’t want to pass you up. Or what we’re doing.”

  “But it’s—”

  “I know it’s risky and reckless. But you’re not going to talk me out of it.” I laughed softly. “You’ve tried, remember?”

  “Yeah, I have.” He studied me, but then lowered his gaze and nodded. “Just say the word if you do want out, all right? I’ll understand.”

  “I will. I promise.” I watched him for a moment. “So you said you’ve never been approved? To marry, I mean?”

  Aiden shook his head as we started walking again. “I was never approved. I’d gotten into some trouble when I was younger, and, well, you know how that goes in the application process.”

  “Yeah, I do. To be honest, I was pretty shocked when they approved me.”

  His smile was faint, but enough to make my heart flutter. “Well, just make sure they don’t find out about me.”

  “Oh, I won’t. You’re my little secret.”

  The smile turned to a grin. “Good.”

  I grinned back. “And I, uh, would like to do this again.” I gestured back the way we came. “But I also want to meet you at the lounge.”

  Aiden swept his tongue across his lips. “The sooner the better.”

  Chapter 13

  For a while, my visits to the lounge were uneventful. Some of the faces became familiar over time, though none as much as Aiden, but I didn’t see Graeme again. I didn’t see anyone I knew.

  And then I did.

  Aiden and I were halfway across the lounge, heading toward the private area we both preferred, when I glanced to my left. Then did a double take so hard I thought I was going to snap my neck.

  Oh, shit…

  When I’d seen Graeme here, it was just a glimpse of him in profile. Enough to know without a doubt that it was him without him seeing me.

  But not Rodney, my patient who’d been desperately seeking another outlet when the sims had ceased to satisfy him. He caught my eye from across the room, and looked right back at me, and everything in the world seemed to freeze.

  Oh shit. Oh God. Oh fuck.

  He dipped his chin in a slight nod, and then turned and melted into the crowd like a fading mirage.

  Aiden’s hand on my shoulder nearly sent me out of my skin. I spun around, and he jerked his hand back.

  “You all right?” He asked, eyes wide. Glancing past me, he added, “You see someone you know?”

  “How’d you guess?”

  “Call it a hunch.” He herded me into the back, and when were safely away from everyone except the pairs and groups moaning and panting behind curtains, he asked, “Who was it?”

  I gulped. “A patient.”

  Aiden grimaced. “Really?”

  “Yeah.” I shoved my hand through my hair and started pacing in the narrow corridor. “Is this the only goddamned wireless lounge or something?”

  “It’s the closest to our sector. Well, and the most secure.”

  “Shit.” I pressed my fingers into the bridge of my nose. “I’m going to get caught.”

  “He’s here for the same reason you are, remember? Nobody here is going to risk reporting anyone else because that’ll incriminate them.”

  “Still. I feel terrible. He’s been asking for more sessions, and says the suppressors aren’t working.” I glanced at the doorway and scowled. “I should’ve done more for him.”

  “You’ve done everything you legally can for him.”

  “Hopefully he agrees and doesn’t report me for spite.”

  “He’s hardly going to say anything about you both being here.” Aiden wrapped his arms around me. “Everyone here goes to simhouses, remember?”

  I exhaled, my shoulders sagging. “I guess that’s true.”

  “Relax. Forget about him.”

  “I don’t know if I can.”

  Aiden’s lips brushed beneath my ear as he murmured, “Maybe I can help.”

  I swallowed, leaning back against him as every nerve ending in my body tingled to life. “Maybe you can.”

  * * * *

  Time passed. How much, I didn’t know. Somehow, we’d separated, and we’d cleaned ourselves up, and now we lay together under a thin blanket. His arm was around my shoulders. I rested my head on his chest. The warmth bordered on too hot, but I made no effort to pull away. Just lying like this was too good to change.

  I was starting to doze off when a subtle rumble worked its way in. A mech? Another earthquake? Oh who cared. But it did jostle me enough to wake me up, and beside me, Aiden stirred too.

  We didn’t pull apart, though. Our legs were tangled beneath the blanket. I ran my foot up and down the inside of his calf, and he ran his hand up and down my upper arm.

  “Feeling all right?” he asked after a while.

  I looked up at him. “Yeah. I feel pretty damned good.”

  He smiled. “Good.”

  He held me tighter, and I rested my head on his chest again.

  Sighing, I draped my arm across him. “I’m still not crazy about seeing a patient here. Or him seeing me.”

  “No, I’m sure you’re not.” He idly stroked my hair. “But people who come here don’t report each other. It’d be like going to the cops because someone stole your illicit drugs.”

  I chuckled. “Fair enough.” I released a long breath, trying to just get Rodney out of my damned mind. “So how did you get involved in all of this? Going wireless?”

  “A friend. We spent a few weeks sort of dancing around the subject, me being curious and him wondering if I was, and then he brought me to one of the lounges in the Lower Northern Quadrant.”

  “And the rest is history?”

  Aiden laughed. “Well, sort of. I visited a few times, then got scared and backed off for a while. But…” He went silent for a long moment. “I guess once I’d experienced it, I just couldn’t go back to the way things were before.”

  “I know the feeling.”

  He kissed the top of my head. “It’s an adjustment, I know. Makes life hell sometimes. I just hope it’s worth it for you. Like it’s been for me.”

  I watched myself draw lazy circles on his chest with my fingertips. “I’ve questioned it, to be honest, especially when I’ve seen people here who I know, but now that I’m back…”

  “I still feel like I should have given you more warning,” he said quietly. “Not that there’s ever enough to prepare someone. It’s always like this for people. Maybe it’s even a little traumatic for some.”

  “I think I’ll manage.” I laced my fingers between his. “I’m glad you brought me here.”

  He kissed my forehead again. “So am I.”

  “Why the lounges, though? Why not just meet people in areas without as much surveillance? All this seems so dangerous. Like with all the bikes outside? Seems like it would attract attention.”

  Aiden smiled and slid his hand over my leg. “There are clusters of bikes all over this city. Patrols don’t give a damn unless they actually know the owners are engaged in illicit activities, and most of the time, they aren’t.”

  “They aren’t? I thought it was illegal just to be over here.”

  He shrugged. “It is, but where do you think most of the New City’s homeless went after the Governor did his big ‘cleanup’ two years ago?”

  I swallowed. “They’re all over here.”

  Aiden nodded. “Out of sight, out of mind. And a lot of them have clustered together. Hence…big groups of people and bikes.”

  “They can afford bikes? And gas?”

  “A bike and a tank of gas is a hell of a lot cheaper than an apartment.”

  “True. Okay, but my other question. Why the lounges?”

  Aiden’s eyes lost focus. He pursed his lips like he was trying to figure out exactly how to answer. After a moment, his gaze flicked up and met mine. “You remember that first night, in the parking garage?”

  “How could I forget?”

  “How aware were you of your surroundings?”

  I swallowed. “Not…not very.”

  “Exactly. The type of activity going on in there doesn’t lend itself to vigilance. But the lounges are heavily guarded by people who aren’t engaging in anything except keeping an eye out for trouble.”