It wasn’t like I was going to get on Craigslist or post an ad on Tinder. Wait, did Tinder even have ads for seeking a third person?

  Those questions raced through my head as we played basketball and I missed shot after shot. When we finished, Jake smacked my shoulder. “Destroyed you.”

  Hmm. Seems he did.

  “Must be a blue moon,” I joked.

  He flipped me the bird. “Admit it—you suck at literally everything.”

  “I am awesome at everything. Except, admittedly, today’s game.” I held up a finger. “But in my defense, my mind was elsewhere.”

  He mirrored me, holding up a finger in mockery. “There’s no asterisk that says he was distracted when we’re keeping score. Besides, what could be on your mind other than this game? I’m guessing it’s not Adam’s deal?”

  “Nah, you’re the man to take point on those.”

  “As I do. Delivering at one hundred ten percent.” He took a beat, gave me a thoughtful look. “So what’s going on?”

  I shrugged and smiled. “What can I say? My mind was on Lily.”

  Jake smirked. “Well, that’s understandable. You’re probably going to go home and screw like bunnies all night. It’s a wonder you make it into work at all.”

  I flashed him an evil grin. “You’re right. It is one of the eight wonders of the modern world. And speaking of our record, this weekend I’ll be accepting my award for excellence in stamina and endless pleasure delivery at the Men’s Conference of Gods in Bed.”

  “Asshole,” he muttered.

  I clapped his shoulder. “Don’t worry. We’ll find a woman for you soon.”

  Jake met his last girlfriend online, and she’d seemed perfect. At first, Debbie had wanted to take it slow. But after three months, she’d demanded he put a ring on it. He wasn’t ready, so he’d asked if they could see where things went. Debbie had declared no, since her clock was ticking.

  That was that, and since then he’d been taking a break from the apps.

  “In the meantime, just tell me your stories and I’ll live vicariously,” Jake said.

  “Pervert. But if I told you—and I won’t—I’d have plenty, because this weekend I plan to spend every waking second pleasuring my woman.”

  For that, I earned the double bird.

  I laughed. “Sorry, not sorry.”

  “Yeah, you better not be sorry. Every man is jealous of you.”

  I tilted my head, curious. “What do you mean by that?”

  He shot me a look like it was as obvious as tomato sauce on a new dress shirt. “Have you seen your fiancée? She’s beautiful. I don’t know why she fell for your ugly ass. And somehow, she tolerates you, too. You better not be dumb enough to ever let go of her.”

  That’s when the heavens parted and the filthy angels clanged their cymbals against my head, calling out, You idiot. The answer is right in front of you.

  The answer was under my nose.

  If I was going to try to give Lily her fantasy, she wouldn’t want a threesome with a stranger. She’d want someone she could trust. She was a private woman, and naturally, she’d want a third person who’d keep the secret of her desires. She trusted Jake. She trusted my friendship with him. She knew the man would go to the ends of the earth for me.

  And Jake? He was a good contender. No strings attached to anyone else.

  Clearly, he thought Lily was hot. No surprise there.

  Not to mention he was a kinky bastard. Hell, he was an everything bastard. The man once said he was an omnivore when it came to women.

  But I’d have to find a way to broach it with Lily first.

  So I’d bring up the idea in a setting with the right lubricant.

  The toy shop.

  We left the house together. “You look beautiful,” I told her, unable to take my eyes off my woman.

  She gestured to her tight skirt. “Your favorite kind. Skintight.”

  I grinned. “It’s like you know me so well.”

  She smiled back as I opened the car door for her. “I do know you well.” She set her palm on my chest, tilting her head, her eyes inquisitive. “And I love knowing you.”

  My heart thumped harder, as I wrapped my arm around her waist, bringing her close. “There is nothing I love more than being known by you.”

  She leaned into me, sighing contentedly. “Sometimes I think about how lucky I am that I was in that bar that night.”

  I laughed. “And I think how lucky I am that that receiver had slippery hands.”

  “What would we have done without one of the worst plays ever in football to bring us together?” she teased.

  I let go of her waist and shuddered. “Don’t speak of something so terrible. Just be glad for the non-catch catch.”

  “Always. But I also like to think I’d have found you still.”

  “Baby, you and I were meant to be.”

  “We were. We are.”

  She slid into the vehicle, and I shut the door, heading to the driver’s side. As I hopped into the car, I reminded myself of how lucky I was in so many ways. Because this deep connection, this intense bond we had, was the foundation for our life together, but our hot-as-sin nights too.

  Without this openness, we wouldn’t be able to play the games we played.

  To talk the way we did.

  And to shop for toys.

  This was Lily’s favorite kind of shopping trip.

  Maybe it would help me too—help me with my obsession.

  Or maybe I needed to set it aside. After all, she spent most of the car ride chatting about wedding details. Who was coming, the appetizers we’d serve, the music she wanted.

  Maybe fantasies had no part in the life we were building.

  But wasn’t sex part of our life?

  As we walked into our regular store, she glanced toward the register, where a dark-haired guy worked behind the counter.

  “I didn’t know Penn Badgley worked at Eden,” she joked.

  “Got a little celebrity crush?” I asked.

  “Aww,” she said with a that’s so sweet grin. “You know who Penn Badgley is. Just admit it now—you’re a closet Gossip Girl fan.”

  “Smartass,” I said, smacking her rear for her impudence. “I’ve seen You on Netflix, and I also saw Horrible Bosses. So there. No need for Gossip Girl.”

  She tilted her head. “He wasn’t in Horrible Bosses.”

  “That is true, but Jennifer Aniston’s character invoked his name when she said”—I cleared my throat and tried on a feminine voice—“I fingered myself so hard to that Penn Badgley guy, I broke a nail.’”

  Lily shot me a naughty grin, laughing. “Jennifer Aniston’s character has good taste.”

  If I were a jealous guy, I’d say something like, As long as you don’t finger yourself to fantasies of the guy at the register, we’re all good. Instead, I said, “Feel free to break a nail later while you play with yourself in front of me.”

  Her shoulders straightened, and she snapped her gaze to me, like I’d shocked her. “You’re such a bad boy.”

  I brushed my lips against her neck, whispering in her ear, “And you love it.”

  She shivered. “I absolutely do.”

  As we strolled through the shelves of vibrators, she grabbed a blue dolphin and pretended it was a mic, adopting an infomercial tone. “And now, may we present the dolphin. Twelve speeds, fluttering nose, and when you use it, you’ll come, singing its praises under the sea.”

  A grin tugged at my lips as I handed her a butterfly, ready for her comedy routine. “Why don’t you tell us about this guy?” I asked like a TV host.

  She went all theatrical, arms waving, voice sophisticated. “Put this on and you’ll transform.”

  Reaching for a silver bullet, I placed the device in her palm, ready for her report. “And now, Lily, please tell the audience at home, what does this little number do?”

  She held it up to the light as if studying the sleek pleasure machine. Lily cleared her throat and lowered her voice to a stage whisper. “Horny at the office?” she asked. “Slip this little magic pill under your skirt and ease that ache.”

  Cracking up, I yanked her to where a rack of devil and angel costumes hid us from the register, pulled her to me, and claimed her mouth in a hot, quick kiss. “Do you know that I’m going to have both the funniest and dirtiest wife?”

  She lifted her chin, pouted her lips. “I’m sure that’s what you dreamed of as a kid.”

  “Ha. Let’s hope not. But it’s definitely perfect for me now. You’re perfect for me now and forever.” I slid a hand around her ass.

  She wiggled against my hand, and I couldn’t resist. I inched my fingers under her skirt. Even though it was tight, I could still get my hand under it. God bless skirts and her commitment to wearing them nearly every day. Access was one of my guilty pleasures with her, except I never felt guilty about pleasure. Not when I could graze my fingers against her upper thighs.

  “Finn,” she chided, “we’re in public.”

  “As if that has stopped you before.” My hand inched higher, my fingers on a fast track for the firm swell of her cheeks. I pinched, and she groaned quietly, squirming against my palm. “You’re such an ass man.”

  “No. I’m an everything man with you,” I said, licking her neck, tasting her skin.

  She shuddered as my fingers explored farther, touching the panel of her panties. She was already damp. This could work.

  “And you love everything, too,” I added.

  “You know I do,” she murmured. “Love that filthy mouth of yours most of all. Love the way you tell me how you want me.”

  “You want it here, don’t you? Right in this store?”

  Her eyes said yes. “I do.”

  “I could take you into the dressing room and have you with my fingers,” I said, trying to set the stage for where I wanted this scene to go.

  Her eyes darted around the store. Mostly empty. The Penn Badgley lookalike was ringing someone up. This was perfect timing.

  “Can you be fast?” she whispered.

  I squeezed her ass hard. “Can you be fast? That’s the question.”

  “I promise.”

  I narrowed my eyes, issuing a command. “You’ve got three minutes to come, or I’ll stop. Got it?”

  Trembling, Lily nodded her yes, grabbed a devil costume, and went straight to the dressing room. Seconds later, I followed her there, closing the half door. It was like a bathroom stall—anyone who walked past could tell there were two people in here.

  Even better.

  She liked the thrill that she might be seen.

  My hand was up her skirt in seconds flat. My fingers glided inside her panties, then in her. She was soaked, and my shaft jumped to iron-spike level. “Be quiet. Don’t want anyone to hear you,” I whispered.

  She swiveled her hips, grinding shamelessly down against my fingers. “I don’t,” she whispered, “but what if we get caught?”

  She gushed as she asked the question. She loved the idea of being caught.

  Lust tore through my body as I crooked my fingers inside her. “Or what if someone watched?”

  She gasped, her lips forming an O, her eyes widening.

  Yes, now we were getting somewhere.

  I kept going, heading down this path. “What if Penn Badgley walked by?”

  She bit down on her bottom lip, as if fighting like hell not to cry out. But a broken gust of pleasure seemed to cross her lips. And her hips, dear God, her sexy hips were grinding and rocking against my hand.

  “You’d like that, wouldn’t you?” I asked.

  She nodded, murmuring a shuddery, “Yes.”

  “What if he stopped, opened the door, and saw how hard you like it with my fingers?”

  She trembled, her hips going wild, bucking.

  “Bet my dirty girl would like to show him how hard she comes, let him hear how loud she is.”

  She groaned louder, and I slammed my free hand against her mouth, covering her. “You would, wouldn’t you?”

  A nod against my palm was her answer.

  “You’d be so goddamn loud,” I whispered. “He’d know you like it in public. He’d know you like it every way I give it to you.”

  Her eyes squeezed shut. Her expression tightened. That look of approaching bliss spread across her face.

  Now was my chance to push, to find out. “Bet you’d even like it if he wanted to take you too.”

  She tensed all over, stilled for a long, terrifying moment. Had I gone too far? Suggested too much?

  But then she was shaking, falling apart on my hand here in the store with the celebrity lookalike no more than twenty feet away.

  I hadn’t gone too far at all.

  Her skin was flushed, the sexiest shade of pink I’d ever seen.

  When she opened her eyes and I slid my fingers out of her, she trembled, grabbed my arm like she’d fall if she didn’t hold on to me, and simply whispered, “Wow.”

  “You liked that, didn’t you?”

  She licked her lips. “Do you really have to ask?”

  I raised my hand, wiggled my fingers in front of my face, and sucked her juices off, savoring the taste of her.

  We bought the silver bullet, the devil costume, and a new dolphin, too, since she said hers was losing power.

  In the parking lot, I opened the door for her, then stopped her with a hand on her waist.

  I met her eyes. “When I said earlier, before we came here, that you know me so well? Remember that?”

  “Of course. It was only an hour ago. My memory is still good.”

  My expression went serious. “I meant it, Lily. You know me. I know you. We can share anything.”

  She swallowed roughly, a nervous look in her eyes. “Is that what you meant when you said it?”

  I nodded fiercely. “Yes, it’s part of it. This is what we can be for each other. We can share. And I don’t just mean whether we should register for a pasta maker, or if we want pop music or hip hop at the wedding. We are so much more than that. We can share hopes, dreams, wishes. I want you to know me. Always.”

  “I want that too,” she said, a little husky. Then she quirked up her lips. “Also, we don’t need a pasta maker.”

  “Damn straight,” I said with a laugh, then I let go of the laughter. “And there’s something else I want you to know.”

  “What is it?” she asked, her voice rising. Maybe with worry. But she didn’t need to worry about a damn thing. I would always take care of her in every single way.

  I brushed my thumb along her jaw, lifting her chin, so our eyes locked. “You need to know that with me, you can have anything.”

  “I can?” Her voice rose higher than usual, nerves lining it.

  “Yes,” I said emphatically. “Anything. All you have to do is ask.”

  She didn’t ask for her dirty internet fantasy right then and there. She pressed her lips together, looked off in the distance at the darkening sky, then back at me, meeting my eyes.

  “Can you take me to the club? The one where I told you all my fantasies?”

  Everything was coming together.

  But not that night.

  She had an early morning interview with the Yankees general manager via remote, so we agreed to go Thursday night.

  By the time Thursday came around, our group of friends had asked what we were up to, and Lily and I turned the night at Edge into a group event, as we often did.

  Jake and Kate and Nina and Adam, and plenty of others would join us.

  We’d all go.

  And that might be just what the dirty doctor ordered.

  5

  Lily

  With me you can have anything.

  His words echoed through my head as I went for a morning run.

  They clanged in my mind, reverberating.

  I wanted everything.

  But could we truly have it all?

  Could we have the closeness I revered? And the wild nights I longed for? As I rounded a curve along the path in the park, I tried to imagine what that would look like. How it would play out.

  The after.

  Would we be the same after my darkest fantasies became real?

  My heart pounded faster and my legs burned as I looked in the crystal ball of my future.

  But it was cloudy. Because you can’t see the future. You have to take chances without knowing the outcome.

  That was the issue. Was this a chance worth taking?

  Amidst the I dos and the marriage licenses, did I want to push for something else too?

  When I finished my run, I showered, dressed for work, and met Nina at our usual coffee shop. She sported her new red glasses.

  “See? They are sexy,” I said.

  “Want to rear-end me?” she joked.

  I chuckled as she grabbed an earl grey latte, her usual, and I ordered a vanilla latte. When it arrived, I laughed again.

  “Are you going to keep that little humor nugget all to yourself?” Nina asked as we brought our drinks to our favorite couch.

  I lifted the mug and smiled. “Just thinking how my favorite drink is a vanilla latte, but I’m not the least bit vanilla.”

  Nina’s brown eyes widened. “Please entertain the virgin with your non-vanilla stories,” she said, taking a drink of her beverage. Nina owned her virginity. She had her reasons for keeping it, and she wasn’t looking to shed it with just anyone at just any moment. She was waiting for the right guy at the right time.

  But I didn’t think she was vanilla. She might not be experienced, but from what she’d told Kate and me, she was experienced in her head. My friend had quite a kinky imagination.

  She’d be open to my quandary. While I didn’t plan to divulge all my wild thoughts, I did want an opinion. After I took a drink, I asked her a question. “Just because you have a fantasy doesn’t mean you should act on it, right?”

  She lifted a brow. “Of course not, but I feel like there’s a lot more to your question.”

  I heaved a sigh, then shared more. “Sometimes I want more. A little something . . . extra.”

  She nodded thoughtfully. “With Finn I presume.”