But if I fired early I’d blow the whole thing. That’d be a helluva way to ruin my buddy’s gift to the love of his life.

  There was only one solution.

  As I slid under my covers that night, I pictured kittens. Cute little kittens tussling and playing. Then duckies. Adorable baby chicks swimming to see their mama.

  Yup.

  If matters got too heated, I’d have a few perfect turn-me-off images.

  For now, I made sure I had a solid night’s sleep then a hard-as-hell workout the next morning.

  And I took matters into my own hands. Three times.

  Then I went to work, zeroing in on my caseload, chatting with clients, talking with producers. Adam and I touched base on the deals I was inking for him with a cable network.

  “And I gave my usual closing line,” I said to him on the phone.

  “And what’s that?”

  “I asked, ‘Is this the best you can do?’”

  “And does that work?” he asked.

  “Considering the network just came back with a fifty grand increase in this streaming rights deal, I’d say it worked.” I grinned, pleased as hell with my work. I was firing on all cylinders.

  “Dude. You are the man,” he said, emphasizing each word.

  “I am,” I said.

  And when I hung up, I felt that way. I was the man. The man who got stuff done. The man who took care of his clients. The man who looked out for his friends.

  And tonight I’d be the man who helped a buddy.

  I was very much looking forward to lending a hand. By the time evening rolled around, it was game on, ducks and kittens on deck.

  8

  Lily

  I nearly forgot about my conference.

  Except, I didn’t really forget, but all I could think about the next day was the room at the Bellagio that Finn had reserved for us, and what would transpire in it that night.

  Before I could go there, I had to pop into one of the lobby bars and meet two of the agents on my panel tomorrow, Josh and Haven.

  Tomorrow seemed like it existed in another world. Tomorrow I’d have to be professional Lily, onstage in a ballroom, interviewing two top sports agents on the business of negotiations.

  Tonight, I had to slip into a different role, and I was flustered thinking about the evening ahead. I was a few minutes late to my meeting, too, because I’d needed new lingerie. Obviously.

  One did not simply get pleasured by two men without new lingerie.

  I stopped at Ava’s, a decadent lingerie boutique in the hotel.

  Soft music played from the store speakers, and the plush carpet seemed to invite me in as I strolled inside. The scent of lavender drifted into my nose, and my eyes devoured the exquisite displays of underthings.

  Lace, satin, silk.

  Everything called out to me.

  I needed something delicious.

  Something enticing.

  Tonight was the kind of night that lingerie was made for.

  “Hi there. Can I help you with something?” a blonde sales associate asked.

  Tall with dark glasses, I couldn’t help but wonder what secrets she harbored.

  Perhaps, we all tucked our most private fantasies away, putting on our faces for the outside world.

  I didn’t need to share mine with a stranger, but tonight, I didn’t need to pretend I was only a straight-laced reporter.

  I was a woman with desires.

  With fantasies.

  And I planned to own them.

  “Yes, as a matter of fact you can,” I said, lifting my chin.

  “Great. Tell me what you’re looking for,” she said, stepping closer.

  I glanced around taking in the bold red lace, the silky blacks, and the fuchsia satins.

  I turned back to her. “I need something for a special tryst.”

  Her eyebrows rose and she grinned. “Ooh la la.”

  “It’s with my fiancé,” I added, since I didn’t want to make it seem like I was having an affair.

  “Even better,” she said.

  It was my turn to grin. “We’re very much in love and very much in lust.”

  “I’m not jealous. Not jealous at all,” she joked.

  I smiled. “And I want something that’ll make me feel both wicked and wonderful. Because we have a fantasy we’re acting out,” I said, and holy smokes.

  That felt good.

  That was felt like freedom.

  Like something I hadn’t even known I needed.

  But it turned out I had.

  I needed to be both sides of myself. To let them exist within me. Even if I didn’t reveal all my thoughts—because there was no need to of course—I didn’t need to feel ashamed of my wants.

  I no longer had to war inside myself. To battle in my mind with Lily Whiting, the buttoned-up, sharp, professional reporter. Lily Whiting, the devoted fiancée and soon-to-be wife. And Lily Whiting, the sex kitten.

  I was all those women.

  And I was me.

  And I loved it. I embraced all my sides.

  I owned all of them: my brain, my heart, and my body. So I added, “And I can’t wait.”

  The woman chuckled conspiratorially. “And I can’t wait for you.” She waved me over to a nearby table. “I have something in mind. I think it’ll be perfect.”

  White lace.

  “This may be the perfect attire,” she said and it was like she knew me.

  As soon as I held it up, I knew too.

  This was perfect.

  It was innocent, and I was not.

  I bought it and thanked her. “You were so much help,” I said as she handed me the bag.

  “Thank you, but you seemed like a woman who knew her own mind.”

  I smiled. “Yes, but you’ve done more for me than you realize.”

  She might not ever realize she’d been the right person at the right time. A stranger. But an open-minded one, it seemed. And a stranger who I could embrace my full identity in front of.

  “I hope you have a wonderful time in love and in lust.” She took a beat, lowering her voice. “And you better have a great time tonight.”

  “I will,” I said, then I hurried to the bar where I found Josh Summers and Haven Delilah. As I walked in, I could tell they were obviously hot for each other.

  I headed to them, picking up their conversation as he held up his hands in surrender. “To moving on.”

  Haven offered him a hand to shake. “We will endeavor not to be jerks.”

  I seize the conversational opportunity as I reached them, grinning, enjoying every second of tonight. This was my new mantra. No more doubt. No more self-shaming. I was going to love all sides of my life, including the chance to have fun with business associates. “Jerks? Who’s trying not to be jerks?” I asked cheerily.

  Josh turned around, saying hello. Haven did the same, leaning in for an air kiss on the cheek, as was her custom.

  I waved a hand in front of my face, knowing I needed to apologize for tardiness. “And I promise I won’t be a jerk either. Except I was a big one for being late, and I’m so sorry,” I said, clutching my pink-and-white shopping bag. “I’m just happy you’re still here.”

  “Of course. It was only five minutes, so don’t think twice about it,” Haven said. “We were early, so we enjoyed a drink and some good conversation. Right, Josh?” Haven met his gaze.

  He raised his glass. “A great conversation. Incredibly revealing.”

  “Revealing,” I said, enjoying that word. Then I realized my bag was revealing. And while I was embracing all my sides, I didn’t need these two to see my new bra. “Actually, can you excuse me for just one second? I need to freshen up.”

  I spun around, heading for the restroom, stuffing the bag from the shop inside my purse.

  A minute later, I returned. Josh had stepped aside, so I chatted with Haven.

  “Your ring,” she said, staring at my rock. “It’s stunning and I must admire it.”

  I did the hand flip thing, showing it off, feeling proud of my man.

  Josh returned as Haven cooed at my ring.

  “Be careful, Josh. This ring might blind you,” Haven said.

  He pretended to shield his eyes. “It’s stunning.”

  “I am one lucky girl,” I said, with a happy sigh. “Especially since my fiancé says he has a special engagement gift for me too,” I offered, trying that on for size too. I didn’t plan to tell them what is was, but I liked saying it. I liked acknowledging a little bit of my other life.

  “And what’s that?” Haven asked.

  A blush crept over my cheek. “Apparently it’s a secret,” I said, but it was a secret I’d be unwrapping shortly.

  “Ooh la la,” Haven said, sliding into her French accent. “In France, that can only refer to one thing.”

  My eyes widened with curiosity. “What’s that?”

  Haven leaned in close to me and whispered, “It means all your dreams are coming true.”

  I smiled, my best professional grin. “A girl can hope.” I reached for my notebook, flipped it open and went into business mode. It felt seamless, the transition, and that made me feel whole. “So, this is what I wanted to chat about tomorrow . . .”

  When we finished, I thanked them, said I’d see them tomorrow, and headed straight for the elevators.

  I was ready. I’d handled my work, and now it was time to engage in the personal.

  That was all that lay in front of me tonight.

  Finn, Jake, and I had only outlined how our night would start and agreed that the rest would have to happen naturally. I knew what I wanted.

  I’d had the montage in my head for some time.

  Alone in the suite, I ordered champagne, set some condoms and lube on the nightstand, then stripped out of my clothes and stepped into the shower. I savored the warm waterfall as it heated up my body.

  I also luxuriated in my own body, my own sensuality, and the hopes that the bounds of my desire would stretch tonight. My hands slid down my curves, over my breasts, caressing my belly.

  I leaned my head back under the water, imagining all the ways the night could play out.

  I’d watched enough videos. Seen enough clips. Pleasured myself to plenty of Tumblr gifs and videos.

  I was a pleasure seeker, a cat, a woman who arched her back and purred voraciously.

  I wanted to be petted, to be stroked, to be taken over the cliff again and again.

  Did that make me selfish?

  Yes.

  I felt selfish, but I owned it because I also felt . . . exhilarated.

  After I showered, I took my time rubbing lotion into my legs, picturing my men touching me.

  Running a brush through my hair, I saw their hands tugging on the strands.

  Sliding a pair of white lace panties up my legs, I imagined Finn and Jake removing them. Then a demi-cup bra, stockings, and black heels.

  I dried my hair and brushed it till it felt like soft silk. I dusted on some makeup, a little blush, some mascara, and gloss that would be gone in seconds.

  Grabbing a short, silky robe, I tugged it on and tied the sash.

  Did I look like a madam? A high-end escort? Or just a woman who was sexually adventurous and confident?

  I decided on the latter. I was most definitely the latter.

  And tonight, I was going to have my men.

  Room service brought the champagne bottle and three flutes. I thanked the man and gave a hefty tip.

  At nine p.m., I shivered when I heard another knock on the door.

  I opened the door and found Finn, looking sexy as hell in slacks, a dress shirt, and a purple tie. His grin was crooked and knowing, his eyes blazing with desire. Next to my fiancé was Jake, dressed similarly in pressed pants and a button-down. His tie was forest green. My mouth watered as my gaze drank in his tall frame, his square jaw, his dark eyes.

  My two sexy suits.

  In one fell swoop, all the nerves in the world descended on my belly, spread across my shoulders.

  What the hell was I about to do?

  Was this my life?

  Was I truly this woman in a hotel? The one who carried on clandestine trysts behind closed doors with multiple partners?

  But I banished the worries when Jake lifted a brow and said, “Room service. We have your special order.”

  Humor defused the tension.

  I laughed, reached for Finn’s tie and tugged him in, then did the same to Jake. “Remind me again what exactly it was I requested?” I asked, playing along.

  Finn pretended to look at a receipt. “It says here you ordered two hot men to please you all night long.”

  And like that, any remaining nerves didn’t so much as tiptoe out the door—they fled down the hall. I was left with only the delicious ache of my desire.

  Finn kicked the door shut, and a burst of pleasure spread over my skin. It was a commanding move. It said we were starting.

  But deep down, I knew I was the one who was calling the shots.

  I’d always called the shots, even when he’d cuffed me, bound me, spanked me.

  Even when he’d told me to beg for it, I was always in charge, because everything he’d done to me, he’d done to please me.

  And tonight was the most intoxicating proof of his wish that I always be more than satisfied.

  He ran a hand down my bare arm. “Lily, tell us what you want first.”

  “I want us all to have a drink,” I said, then poured three glasses.

  We lifted our glasses.

  “What are we toasting to?” Jake asked.

  “To fantastic friendship,” I said to the dark-eyed man, then I swallowed some of the bubbly beverage and set down the flute. Then, to my fiancé, I added: “And to filthy love.”

  “I’ll drink to both,” Finn said.

  “Same here,” Jake added.

  They drank then put their glasses away.

  Finn untied the sash on my robe. The silk fell open, revealing my lingerie to both men.

  Jake groaned, moving to stand next to me, too.

  I trembled as Finn kissed a decadent path along one side of my neck, heating me up, turning me on even further, knowing that kisses like this were the way to my panties.

  While he tended to my neck, I reached for Jake’s hands, setting them on my waist.

  That was enough. That was the only direction he needed. As Finn stood on one side kissing me, Jake’s hands traveled across my belly, over my hips, down the outsides of my thighs.

  I tingled.

  Dear God, if this was what it’d feel like all night, I was surrendering to pleasure right this second. Throwing in the white flag. Because . . . holy hell.

  Two sets of strong hands.

  Two tall bodies.

  My knees wobbled.

  Finn grinned. “Already turned on, my naughty girl?”

  “So turned on,” I said.

  “Show us how you dressed for us, then,” Finn instructed.

  “Stop hiding that beautiful body behind that robe,” Jake added, and I shivered.

  Finn must have told him privately how to talk to me. How to talk dirty all night long.

  I shrugged off the silky black robe, letting it fall to the floor so they could see my ensemble.

  Finn shook his head approvingly. “Look at you in your angelic outfit like a good girl,” he said.

  Jake’s hand curled over my ass, and he squeezed. “A good girl we’re going to defile.”

  My pulse spiked, beating everywhere from their filthy words as they flanked me. I reached out a hand, touching Jake’s stomach over his shirt, then did the same to Finn with my other hand, savoring the feel of two hard sets of abs under my fingers.

  I was ready to fall onto the bed, to offer up my body right then. But they’d have none of that. Instead, Finn pressed his hard body against my right side, Jake against my left.

  Jake’s erection was proud and insistent, a hard ridge against my hip. My fiancé’s was, too—thick and demanding.

  I couldn’t wait to see them both strip for me. To see two hard cocks announcing their intention to have me.

  Couldn’t wait for mouths and tongues and fingers.

  My eager hands coasted down their bodies, skating over their erections. I squeezed them both through their pants at the same time. They groaned, and pleasure zipped through me, speeding through my body, sizzling over my skin.

  Each man caressed me. Finn’s mouth traveled along my throat, kissing the tops of my breasts.

  Jake brushed his lips over my shoulder, down my arm.

  Finn’s hands roamed across my right hip, Jake’s across the left.

  I was worshipped; I was adored. I was melting under their twin attention, their absolute focus on my body, on all of me.

  It was heady and intoxicating, the best drink I’d ever had.

  Finn bent down, kneeling as he kissed my waist, my thighs, then flicked his tongue against the top of my panties.

  “Finn,” I moaned, “you need to take my clothes off.”

  He grinned against my skin as Jake roamed his lips across my shoulder blade, moving behind me, pushing my hair out of the way to kiss my back. I was boneless, melting already, and I wasn’t even undressed.

  Finn rose and dragged a hand down my waist, over my mound, then looked at Jake. “I was right, wasn’t I?”

  I felt Jake nod against my back, then flick his tongue along my spine. I arched into his touch as I looked at Finn. “Right about what?”

  “As we were walking down the hall, I told him your skin tasted fantastic. Like sugar on your tongue.”

  I gasped, my heart speeding up with need, with desire. “What else did you tell him about me?”

  The idea that my man had had private conversations about my bedroom preferences thrilled me in a way I’d never expected. I had to know everything. Needed to know what they’d said.

  9

  Finn

  Women were so goddamn lucky. They could come early and often. They could come before you even slept with them, and that was not just a good thing—it was a great thing.

  But for a man, you needed to make damn sure you didn’t fire early.