“Are you coming back with me on Wednesday?” She knew she blurted it out but for heaven’s sake, how long was she supposed to not ask about the future?

  “I have to work this week. I’ll come visit soon. Or you can come back here.”

  She chewed her food, concentrating on the needed calories and not hitting him with her shoe. “So, you envision this like what? Going steady?”

  He looked around. “Not here.”

  Yeah she was done. Not here and not now, apparently. Standing up, she tossed her napkin

  down and grabbed her bag. “I’m done. I’ll get a cab back to your house.”

  He moved to stand and she held a hand out.

  “You’re being ridiculous and making a scene.”

  “I’m making a scene? I am? You might have a lot more letters after your name than I do but a scene is having a group of people talk around one person no one bothers to even address.” She narrowed her eyes at him when he started to interrupt. “It doesn’t even matter. I got the point at last. I’m waking up to just what this is and what it isn’t.” She took a step back and growled in a low voice when he tried to grab her arm, “If you stand up and get near me they’ll need to call the paramedics. Leave me alone.”

  She was proud of the way she stalked out, head held high.

  Once she’d gotten back to his house she began to pack. There was no use in pretending.

  He wasn’t going to move to Seattle. He wasn’t going to accept who he was, or even who she was. He wanted the glory of fucking a mate but none of the responsibility of belonging to someone. To something.

  She was a werewolf. Period. Yes, she was his mate and that tied her to him for the rest of her life. But it didn’t mean she would tie her life to someone and make them both miserable in the offing. She wanted him to be happy. In the days since she’d laid eyes on him, it’d become inescapable that she loved Shane very much. She knew he thought it too soon and she accepted that he didn’t love her the way she did him. She could deal with him needing time to get to know her. But that wasn’t what he was asking for.

  Perhaps it made her selfish and unfair but she wasn’t going to give up her life, her Pack, her family and who she was to move to Las Vegas and pretend to be everything she wasn’t so he could continue to pretend he was human what? She didn’t fit into his life.

  He wasn’t shallow. They’d had deep conversations, she knew he volunteered several times a year to man the community healthcare clinics that tended to lower income

  populations. He had a heart, he made her laugh and she liked him when he was being himself.

  But he wasn’t himself as often as he could have been. As he should be. The people at the restaurant she’d met, or rather who patently ignored her, were not what she be like.

  Megan loved her life. Loved her connection to who she was and what she did. Trading it for an empty existence far away from her family to be with a man who was afraid of his own identity wasn’t what she wanted and she’d certainly not bring children into a family with a dad who would make them hate themselves.

  The front door opened and closed. Steps sounded and got closer until he entered the room and halted. She steeled herself, knowing she’d want to fall into him once she saw his face.

  “What the hell are you doing?”

  “What does it look like?” she asked, tossing her toiletries into the bag.

  “You’re not supposed to go back until Wednesday.”

  “No I wasn’t.”

  He grabbed her arm. “Megan, this is stupid. Why? I thought you get to know me. To take this time together.”

  “Don’t!” She yanked her arm away from him. “I have been taking this time. I have been trying to get to know you. I’ve asked to meet your parents but you want to delay it. I’ve asked to meet your friends and see where you work but you delay it. And when we do, well you don’t even bother to introduce me to your ex’s friends. I’ve asked to talk about the future but you put me off. I’m trying and you are not. You like to fuck me. That’s it.

  You never should have Claimed me if you meant to do this to me.” Tears threatened and she hated that weakness but damn it, she didn’t want things to be this way. Still, she had no other choice. If she didn’t stand tall now, she’d be she hated and eventually, she’d resent him.

  “My mother won’t understand! My friends won’t understand. You can meet them in a few months when it would make sense for me to be serious about someone. Those people today aren’t my friends. They’re Cynthia’s crowd, young, shallow and stupid. I just wanted them to go away. It was about them, not you. None of this changes who we are to each other. And am I supposed to not like fucking you? I don’t hear any complaints when you come four times.”

  “Your mother won’t understand? She’s mated to a werewolf. How can she not understand? It’s not like werewolves are a secret. How can you not just tell your friends I’m your mate? My whole family knows about you. You haven’t told anyone about me.”

  “My friends won’t understand. My mother, well it’s complicated. Come on, Megan, cut me a break. I’m a doctor living in the suburbs, not a…”

  “Not a wolf?” She wrestled with her outrage, her hurt and humiliation and her need to make things work with him. She sighed, her heart breaking. “I’ve waited my whole life to find my mate. When we met, I accepted it. I accepted what you were to me and since you Claimed me, I thought you did the same. I know this won’t be easy. I know you have issues with being a werewolf, but the bond is in place. You were there when it happened if you recall. But you…I don’t know, you’re acting like we’re going steady or. Things have changed. Forever.”

  “I don’t know what to say to make you happy. I want you to be happy.”

  He did, she felt that. That was the thing that made this all so hard. He looked so forlorn she reached out to touch his face, warm and already familiar to her.

  “Yes you do.” She breathed him in, her system totally attuned to him. Leaving would be terribly difficult. Still, it had to be done unless he was willing to talk. To work it out with her. “Are you ever going to move to Seattle? Are you ever even going to think about it?

  Will you do the joining ceremony with my Pack, with our Pack and run with me? You

  know it can’t work if you stay here and I stay there.”

  He grabbed her hand, holding it to his cheek. “Then move here. There are werewolves on the police force if you want to work. But you don’t have to. Have a life of leisure if you want it. Be here with me. Let me take care of you. Why do you expect me to give up my whole life for you? That’s not fair.”

  She sighed. “It might not be fair. Certainly not from a human perspective. I’m sure you make more money than I do. This house is much bigger than mine. This life—” she indicated the room with a sweep of her hand, “—is much more glamorous than mine. I mow my own lawn, I weed my own garden, there’s food in my fridge and I let myself get furry and run free and wild as often as I can. But from a wolf’s perspective, it’s more than fair. Because you don’t live as a wolf and I do. I can’t, no I won’t give up what I am, not even for you, Shane. I can’t live a lie. I don’t want to be a human. I need to be touched by other wolves. We thrive with that. I wish you’d give it a chance! But you see it as wrong.

  You see what I am as wrong and I can’t live a life where I embrace that. I am not wrong.

  I am not a monster. I was born the way I was supposed to be and so were you. Your mother is wrong to have done this to you and your father lives a shadow of a life and has let you do the same and for what? Do I’d ever allow my children to be ashamed of who they are?”

  Sadly, she pulled her hand free and stepped away from him. She grabbed her suitcase and moved to the door but he stepped in the way. “You don’t know what you’re talking about. You have no right to judge her.”

  “This is about your mother? At this time you’re going to… Fine, let’s go there then. I have every right. You gave me that right when you fucked me and Claimed me without intending to live up to your end of the bargain. I’m going home because I’d rather live half a life with a mate who refuses to love me being who I am than half a life here, pretending to be what I’m not to claim your crumbs of love.”

  A horn honked out front.

  “My cab is here. You know my number.” Kissing him on the cheek she held her tears back only just barely. “I love you. I know you don’t love me and I accept that. But I can only be who I am.”

  He stood there, his back to her, as she walked away. His sadness flowed. His anger and frustration too. But her own welled up and swallowed her as she got into that cab and drove away.

  She dialed a number.

  “I need you. Can you…I need a plane. I need to come home.”

  Lex simply made it happen and told her he’d see her in a few hours.

  Chapter Seven

  Lex paced back and forth, Megan knew, annoyed that Nina had agreed with her and had made him stay at home instead of picking her up from the airport. She watched him through the glass briefly before she headed inside.

  She’d needed the time to compose herself after she’d pretty much cried and cried the whole flight back.

  He met her at the top of the stairs, simply putting his arms around her tight and kissing the top of her head. All her composure fell away and the tears came back.

  “I’m going to have to kill him, aren’t I?” His voice rumbled through his chest and into her body and she let it comfort her.

  “You can kill him again after I do.” Nina hugged her from the other side and Gabby’s laugh sounded over the three of them as she darted into the room and launched herself toward them.

  Megan extricated herself from Lex and Nina to fill her arms with her niece, who snuggled into her hold and covered her face with slightly sticky kisses.

  “You’re home.” Gabby looked up at Megan through wise brown eyes and nodded once, as if that solved the problem.

  “I am. I missed you, Gab.”

  “I missed you, too. Come on, The Little Mermaid is on and mommy made fish sticks and macaroni and cheese.”

  Of course to an outsider the conversation wouldn’t have been as clear but Megan had been around Gabriella Warden since her very first breath of air and she understood exactly what her niece had said.

  “My favorite.”

  She set Gabby down and allowed herself to be pulled into the family room.

  “I’m glad you’re home.” Nina hugged her shoulders. “Will you stay over tonight and tell us the whole story?”

  Megan nodded and allowed them to take care of her.

  ***

  Shane paced the length of his bedroom and back. Over and over. She’d been gone three days and he felt it in every muscle. Her scent lay upon his sheets, in his bathroom, in wisps of air as he moved through what now felt like a big empty shell of a house. Hebe angry at her. At times he managed it. Usually when he felt like death warmed over at her absence. He resented that physical connection to her as much as he craved feeding it.

  At times he vacillated between wanting to call her and never speaking her name again.

  She hadn’t called and it pissed him off. Made him sulky and petulant.Nothe felt very often. Normally if he was this upset he’d call Sid and Layla but he got the feeling Lay would be ready to cut his heart out.

  Work had filled his time but once he got home he found himself unable to sleep and so he paced and thought. Not always a good thing. He considered, for a brief moment , calling

  Cynthia. But in truth, he was married and he had no desire to break his bond with Megan, even as he struggled with his confusion over how to make things work.

  Just a week before, his life had been relatively simple and now it just wasn’t.

  A pounding on his front door roused him from his thoughts. He hurried to answer, thinking it might be Megan. Instead it was his father, standing next to Sid.

  “You’re an idiot. Now let me in.”

  His father pushed him aside and Sid followed, kicking the door closed.

  “Well hello to you too, Dad. Have a seat, why don’t you?” he said as the two men went into the living room and sat. “You want to tell me what this is about?”

  His father’s eyes widened a moment and then narrowed. Shane couldn’t recall ever seeing him this emotional.

  “You, boy, sit your ass down and listen up.” Those normally calm green eyes sparked dangerously and Shane found himself obeying just because he was fascinated at this side of his father.

  “Sid.” Shane tipped his chin in greeting to his cousin. “I imagine thishasto do with Megan?”

  His cousin just shook his head and leaned back.

  “You know, it would be nice to get a call from my only child telling me when he mated!

  Such an important thing and I have to hear about it second hand. Second hand after you’ve apparently messed it up. I blame myself. I’ve made mistakes. Mistakes you should learn from right now before you throw away the best thing you’ll ever have.”

  “I didn’t know how to tell you. Does Mom know?”

  Sid, his normally very laid back cousin leaned forward and nearly snarled at him, “I can’t believe you’re worried about that right now. Megan is back in Seattle and Layla is beside herself. The Wardens have drawn a tight circle around her right now and you are public

  enemy number one. The only thing keeping Lex Warden from showing up here and beating you senseless is Megan threatening to slice him into pieces if he so much as says boo to you. What is wrong with you? Shane, why did you Claim her if you didn’t mean to keep your oath? You feel it don’t you? Don’t tell me you can’t feel her running through your veins, beating in your heart, the breath in your lungs. How can you think of throwing that away? And for what?”

  “What your mother feels is beside the point.” His father shoved a hand through his hair.

  “You know she’s unhappy. It’s who she is and I’m sorry I let it go this far. I love her.

  She’s my mate and I did the best I could, or I thought I was doing the best I could.”

  “Not that I’m not happy to see you and all, but this is not anyone’s business but mine and Megan’s. She wants me to give up everything I am to move up there. How fair is that?

  How much does she love me, huh? She wants to change me!”

  Sid’s wolf bled into his voice “Bullshit. You want her to stop being a werewolf and pretend to be human. You’re the one who wants to change her in a way that is simply impossible. She’s not asking you to not be a doctor. She’s not asking you to give up your life. She’s asking you to let her be what she is. And if you weren’t such a selfish asshole you’d see that what she is, is pretty damned important. She’s one of the most powerful werewolves in the country. Most of her family, one she’s close to, is in Seattle. You don’t visit your family, you don’t have many friends here. What are you giving up other than your fucking fantasy that you’re not a werewolf?”

  Ouch. That one hurt. “Selfish? I ask her to wait, to give me some time, and I’m selfish?

  What the hell has she been saying about me?” Anger and hurt colored his feelings on the matter and he pushed up from the chair to pace.

  “When I called her this morning she told me she loved you and respected your choices and not to come over here and interfere,” his father said quietly.

  “Oh.” The anger he’d been clinging to slipped away. Yearning to hear her voice, to feel

  her skin against his replaced it with such depth he nearly gasped.

  “When I Claimed your mother I tried for years to get her to accept what I was. She wouldn’t. Eventually I gave in because I love her and I wanted her to be happy.”

  “You did it for her. Is it too much to ask?”

  His father hesitated and the emotion, the regret and pain in his voice sliced at Shane.

  “Yes. In retrospect, yes. I’ve lived a shadow of a life. I can count the number of times I’ve run in the last nearly forty years on two hands. I’ve raised my child without the touch of a Pack. When she punished you the first time you changed and I allowed it, when I helped you to keep it secret…I failed you. I’ve failed you and I am here because I don’t want you to make the same mistakes I did. You are a werewolf. You have a mate. It’s the greatest gift you’ll ever be given until you have children. Do not throw it aside for foolish pride, for your fear of being what you are. You can be a doctor and a werewolf. Be her mate, son. Don’t throw this away.”

  “I can’t be what you are. I can’t simply give up my life, give it over to her because she won’t compromise at all.”

  Sid stood and looked him over, a sneer on his face. “You’re the one not compromising.

  Cling to your anger, Shane. I hope it keeps you warm at night. She has Adam up there you know. Her anchor. If I wasn’t around and you saw Layla every day and she was hurting, how would you handle it? You can lose her. Don’t be stupid and throw her away like this. Adam knows what a catch she is and he’s bonded to her as well. Can you live with that? Just tossing her away like she’s nothing?” His cousin stormed from the house and his father stopped before him.

  “I love you, Shane. You’re a good man. A good wolf. You can move up to Seattle and it won’t be you giving up everything for her. You know that in here,” his father tapped Shane’s chest, “and in here.” He tapped Shane’s temple. “Every couple has to

  compromise. Your job is portable, hers isn’t. If you truly let yourself feel what it is to be in a Pack, you’ll understand asking her to give it up is akin to asking her to cut off her arm. It’s part of her in a way you can’t begin to understand and for that I am so very sorry. But don’t let my mistakes compound yours. Go to her. Be her mate.” His father hugged him and then left him to his empty house once again.