“Look at me, Phoenix.” I reach up and grip his jaw, forcing his eyes open. “I want you to remember every second of this. I want you to see me seeing you. I need you to feel me feeling you.”

  Those silver eyes sparkle like stars, his lips parted as pleasure ripples through him every time he sinks another inch into me.

  “You feel… You feel… fuck.”

  He shakes his head, unable to find words, and his lips lower to mine. He kisses me and kisses me while he pulls back and starts to move, groaning through every thrust.

  “Oh god, Phoenix. Keep going, baby.”

  “Never stop doing that,” he growls against my lips, his cock driving into me harder now, faster, hitting the spot inside me he found so easily with his fingers. “Never stop calling me baby.”

  He picks up speed, wrapping an arm around my body to lift me slightly, and angling me so he can get deeper.

  “I’m—oh god, you feel so fucking good. You’re gonna make me come, baby.”

  I chant his name, over and over, as wave after wave of pleasure crashes through me in an orgasm so intense it leaves me shaking beneath him.

  Phoenix drives into me one final time before he stills, slamming his mouth to mine as he pulses inside me.

  We’re both gasping for air, our faces inches apart, his forehead damp with sweat. Our eyes lock, and in that split second, we both feel that soul-deep shift that says you can’t unfuck someone who just rewired your entire existence.

  My time of wondering whether I can do this or not is over, because the thought of him ever directing all this love, all this need and desire, at anyone other than me is something I could never survive.

  And for a moment, I get lost in what could’ve been.

  What if I’d said no?

  What if he’d given all of this to someone else?

  The thought alone is poison in my veins.

  Because the idea of him touching someone else the way he just touched me—or loving someone with this kind of violent, all-consuming devotion—destroys me.

  There’s no surviving that alternate universe. And that’s when it hits me that I’m not the balance to his madness. I’m not the light to his dark or the calm to his storm, or any of those lies people tell themselves about toxic love.

  I’m his mirror image.

  I'm exactly what he is.

  Just as unhinged.

  Just as obsessed.

  So I kiss him again, harder this time, just to make sure he remembers, down to his bones, who he belongs to. Because this isn’t infatuation. It devoured infatuation, spat it out without a second thought, and kept going.

  “You’re mine,” I whisper against his mouth. “Tell me.”

  “Yours,” he breathes out, and his hands tighten on me. “Always fucking yours, Shannen.”

  “Mine,” I murmur, dragging my nails down his back.

  “There she is, my beautiful, possessive girl. Took you long enough to come back to me.”

  “I’m sorry we lost so much time.”

  His head drops against my chest. I wrap my arms around him, my fingers threading through his hair, hoping that if I hold him tighter, I can erase everything we never got to have before this moment—the silence, the distance, the pain we buried instead of facing, the torture he put himself through alone.

  “Are you okay?” I ask, and he tilts his face toward mine, chin resting on my chest, silver eyes hazy like he hasn’t quite come back to his body yet. “Was that…?”

  “It was everything. It was more than everything, and fuck… when can we do it again because that was over way too fast?”

  I brush his hair back from his forehead, and the smile that crosses his face nearly stops my heart. It’s entirely too beautiful for this world—boyish in a way I haven’t seen since we were kids.

  I laugh under my breath, but the sound dies as he lifts himself and looks down between my thighs at the mess we made.

  “You’re covered in me,” he says, and the pride and possession in his voice send heat flooding through me all over again.

  His eyes suddenly snap up to mine, darker now with renewed hunger, and I squeal, because in the next breath, he flips us until I’m straddling him.

  “Phoenix!” I laugh, bracing my palms on his chest.

  “Do you remember everything I said to you that night in the hotel room? When you had me tied to the bed? I want it all. I want everything.”

  So I give it to him.

  Chapter 17

  Phoenix

  So much warmth.

  I slept with my girl all night. And I’m not talking about the sex. Though god, the sex—every single time she let me push inside her, her body welcomed me as if she’d been waiting just as long as I had.

  Sex is a weird thing though.

  People turn it into a milestone or a chore—something to give away or get out of the way.

  Not me.

  Mine was always hers.

  I didn’t save it for a moment.

  I saved it for my soulmate—the only woman I was ever going to be inside, no matter how long it took us to get here.

  But what I mean is that we slept in the same bed.

  She let me hold her as she drifted under, like it was the most natural thing in the world to trust me with her unconscious body. Something I had only ever imagined in my most desperate dreams.

  I used to watch her night after night. She’d be curled under the sheets, lashes fluttering in sleep, one arm always flung above her head, as if reaching for something she couldn’t name. I told myself she was reaching for me.

  I’d lie there beside her, barely breathing, my heart lodged in my throat, my fingertips brushing her skin, but never enough to wake her.

  I always wondered if she was dreaming of me. I let myself believe that somewhere, in the part of her mind I wasn’t allowed into, I was already there.

  She doesn’t know this yet, but I’m never sleeping without her again. She’s ruined me for solitude and for anything that isn’t her head against my chest and her breath on my skin.

  Wake up, baby. I need you to wake up.

  I miss her.

  She’s right here, breathing beside me, red hair fanned across the pillow, and I still miss her.

  I want her eyes on me. I want my name on her tongue and her fingers knotted in my hair. I want her to turn and face me, tangling her legs deeper with mine. But for now, I stay right where I am, my fingers drawing lazy circles across her bare stomach.

  She’s so warm, so soft, so fucking there that I could lose my mind just holding her.

  My hand creeps down to the small patch of hair between her thighs, and I touch her gently, feeling her swell under my fingertips. She’s so responsive, even in sleep, and it fucking ruins me.

  “Wake up from your dreams, feeling me. Know that I’m here. Know I’m not going anywhere.”

  I fist myself once, twice, before I notch myself at her entrance and push inside in one deep thrust, burying myself to the hilt.

  “Feel me,” I whisper, wrapping my hand around her throat with just enough pressure to remind her who’s keeping her full. I grind in deep, my lips against her ear. “It’s me, baby.”

  Her hand flies up, fingers curling over mine where I’m holding her throat, and she moans my name.

  “Good morning, pretty girl,” I growl, pounding into her, the slap of skin on skin echoing in the room.

  She tips her head back, spine arching, and I take the invitation to drive deeper.

  “Feels so good,” she whispers.

  “Your pussy was wet before I even got inside you. Were you dreaming about me? Were you imagining me taking you from behind like this?”

  “No.” She gasps. “I was dreaming I was on my knees for you.”

  That stops me for half a second. We haven’t done that yet. She wanted to last night, but one step at a time. Watching her mouth around my cock is something I need to be ready for, because fuck, that’ll end me.

  “Yeah?” I push harder, thrusting faster. “Was I fucking your pretty throat?”

  “Yes—ah—you were using my mouth, knowing you owned me. You knew I’d kneel and worship every inch of you because you deserve everything, baby.”

  Praise from her lands like a drug straight to the bloodstream. My cock throbs inside her, and I groan, burying my face in her neck.

  She figured me out that night in her office, and I’m not even surprised. Of course this is how I’m wired—the kind of fucked up that needs to hear I’m enough.

  “Keep talking. Tell me.”

  “You’re so good, Phoenix,” she whispers, and her hand tightens over mine at her throat. “So fucking good for me.”

  Goddamn it.

  “You have no idea what that does to me, how close I am to filling this pussy just from hearing you say that.”

  Her praise drives me wild, makes me fuck her harder, deeper, chasing that high of knowing I’m all she needs.

  “Phoenix!”

  Her whole body goes rigid against me, every muscle tensing as she clenches around me. I bite down on her shoulder, hard enough that I hope it leaves a mark, whimpering as I spill inside her.

  I’m still pulsing when she turns her head, eyes dark and hooded, her pupils blown wide.

  “Don’t move. Just… keep it there.”

  I take the opportunity to kiss her, really kiss her, while she keeps me warm inside her.

  “Can I stay here all day?” I whisper against her lips.

  “Pretty sure we’ll have to get up at some point.” Kiss. “To shower.” Kiss. “To get food…”

  This time, my tongue finds hers, and I feel myself start to stir again as I rock into her gently.

  “To keep coming for me all day… that’s what you were going to say next, wasn’t it?” I murmur, and she lets out the most beautiful laugh.

  God, I never want to stop hearing that sound. That playful, carefree noise I used to always be able to get out of her.

  “So you’ve had one taste of pussy, and now you’re impossible to satisfy?”

  I look down at her and brush a knuckle along her jaw.

  “No, I’ve had one taste of you, and I know I’ll never get enough. Not today. Not ever.”

  The words barely leave my mouth when loud, aggressive banging suddenly erupts from the other side of the apartment, and whoever it is isn’t going away.

  “Are you expecting anyone?” Shannen asks as I reach for my phone, because who the hell⁠—

  Of course.

  “Lianna.”

  “What?” Shannen blinks at me with those sleepy, well-fucked eyes that make me want to start all over again.

  “She found us.” I toss the phone back on the nightstand. “Probably wants to make sure you’re still breathing and not chopped up in my freezer.”

  “I should’ve known she’d come looking for me. She knew about our date last night.”

  I pull out of her slowly and press a kiss to her temple. I swing my legs off the bed and stand, grabbing the closest pair of sweats from the dresser while the banging continues.

  “Good,” I say, shooting my girl a look over my shoulder. “I’ll be happy to fill her in. Tell her we fucked half the night, and I plan on keeping you in this bed for the rest of the day.”

  “Absolutely not. Now get your ass back in the bed.”

  I freeze halfway across the room and turn to her. “Come again?”

  She throws a hand toward the door like I’ve lost my mind, but all I can focus on are her lips that are still swollen from my mouth.

  “Seriously, you want to make this a thing?”

  “Fucking right I do,” I answer, pulling the sweats on, not bothering with a shirt.

  “Just wait here,” she says, already scrambling for her clothes. “I’ll let her in.”

  “No.”

  “No?”

  “Baby, you're in my bed, covered in my cum, wearing my bite marks on your skin."

  My eyes trail over the fresh one on her shoulder, and I know my handprints are probably still visible on her hips from how hard I held her when she rode my face.

  "So take your time getting dressed, and I’ll let her in.”

  I leave before she can argue, walking barefoot through the apartment. I unlock the door slowly, just to annoy the raven-haired menace I know is on the other side. The look on her face when she sees me standing there, shirtless in just a pair of sweats, is priceless.

  “Ugh, of course you have abs. Do you have anything physically wrong with you?”

  “You can ask Shannen.”

  “That dirty girl…” She grins, already pushing past me into the apartment. “She finally took your virginity, huh? About time. Even if it was probably a pity fuck.” She heads straight for my kitchen, flipping on the coffee machine like she owns the place. “Where is she anyway? And by that, I mean, she better be conscious and here, not strung up somewhere because you were having an off day.”

  “She safe-worded when I tried the kidnapping thing, so we settled for a pretty standard night in my bed.”

  “Wow, you’ve been waiting all these years, and you settled for a bed. Could you be any more boring?”

  “Fuck you. It was everything I ever imagined.” I drag a hand through my hair, not even trying to hide how wrecked I still am. “She’s getting dressed. She’ll be out in a minute.”

  “So, you and her… Are you good? She’s okay?”

  “I really fucking hope so.”

  Before either of us can say more, the bedroom door opens. Shannen steps out in the same clothes she wore to the roof, minus the coat, and her hair is still a gorgeous mess.

  “There she is, my beautiful and thankfully breathing best friend.”

  “He promised not to throw me off the roof, so, you know… progress.”

  “I’d never—” I start, then glance back at Lianna. “You, on the other hand, are getting closer to an accident every time you open your mouth.”

  “Now you’re just talking dirty to me, Phoenix,” she fires back, sipping her coffee. “By all means, continue. Nothing gets me going like a half-assed threat from a guy with anger issues.”

  “Half-assed?” I blink at her, genuinely offended because I’ve never half-assed anything in my fucking life.

  “Come on.” She waves her hand dismissively. “If you’re going to threaten me with violence, at least commit and go full psycho, or it’s just sad.”

  Shannen stares at us both for a beat, then bursts out laughing. “I never noticed before, but you two are the same. Like, actually the same.”

  “Take that back right now.” She points a finger at Shannen. “I may be unhinged, but I would never go twenty-eight years without getting my dick played with because that is diabolical. I mean, I get it. For you two, it’s this huge slow-burn soulmate thing, but I would’ve been found face down, with a vibrator buzzing in my cold, dead hand.”

  “So murder, assault, stalking… all fine, but it’s my lack of sex life that offends you?”

  “Exactly. But to be fair, you had your reasons, right?” I nod because it’s true. I did.

  “Right,” Shannen adds, still laughing like this conversation is normal.

  “What are you doing tonight?” Her eyes flick to mine for a split second before landing back on Shannen. “And I’m asking her because we need to talk without your eyes or ears listening in. Which is why I think you should come to the club tonight.”

  No.

  Absolutely the fuck not.

  “Are you trying to piss him off?”

  “A little… but no, I actually mean both of you. I’ll get you a VIP room. It’ll be good for you, you creepy little nightmare. You can take a day off from the stalking and go out with your girl.”

  “Okay, can we not call it stalking? Pretty sure it only counts if the person being stalked doesn’t know the stalker exists.”

  “Don’t get cute, baby. You know I’m still gonna stalk your pretty little ass. You breathe, I watch. That’s just how it is.”

  “Do we get to go on your bike again?” Her face lights up with genuine excitement, and she actually bounces a little on the balls of her feet, her hands clasped in front of her like a kid on Christmas morning.

  Lianna’s eyebrows shoot up. “You have a bike?”

  “He does, and it’s hot.”

  “Yeah, I got that from the dumbass grin on your face,” she says, pointing at Shannen. “Plus, I’ve been there—those vibrations hitting you just right while being wrapped around an attractive guy…”

  “You ever heard of a filter?” I ask, cocking a brow.

  “Please… coming from the walking red flag with a body count? I’ll take my lack of filter over your lack of impulse control any day.”

  Shannen cuts in before I can respond. “Okay. You”—she points at me—“back in the bedroom.” Then to Lianna, “And you, go upstairs and let yourself in. I’ll meet you there in a minute.”

  “I’m taking this,” Lianna announces, lifting my coffee mug like it’s hers now and heading for the door, waving at both of us over her shoulder. “Oh, and give Phoenix my number. I need a favor.”

  Chapter 18

  Shannen

  Did I choose this dress with Phoenix in mind? Yes.

  Did I know it would screw with him the second he saw it? No, not like this—not with that look on his face that says he’s felt this exact possessive rage before

  “You do realize I’ve been wearing whatever the hell I want for years, and that’s not about to change just because you’ve decided to start voicing your disapproval.”

  “Shannen—”

  “Phoenix.”

  “It’s different now.” His eyes are glued to where the fabric skims the tops of my thighs. “You think this is about the dress, but it’s not. It’s about what it does to me. What it does to them.”

  He draws in a breath, then his lips touch my shoulder, lingering there before he slowly drops to his knees in front of me.

  Pride isn’t even part of his world anymore, only ownership.

  “I don’t think about you with anyone else. That’s not where my head goes because, fuck me, my first thought when I see you is always how beautiful you are.”