“And if he moves again?”

  “We’ve got better eyes on him now. He won’t disappear again. I made sure of it.”

  I drag a hand down my face, already feeling the burn in my chest that never fucking leaves.

  “Fine. But this is happening. Sooner, not later.”

  “I know you’ve been living to end him, but you’ve also been living for her, so pick which one matters more.”

  It’s not even a choice.

  It’s her every time.

  As much as I want to watch the light leave my father’s eyes, there’s a small, absolutely fucking terrified part of me that doesn’t want her to ever look at me differently. I don’t want to cross a line I can’t come back from and turn into something she can’t love.

  “So, how was it getting that first real taste of pussy heaven?”

  I exhale a laugh. “Fucking everything. She ruined me.”

  “Jesus Christ.” He groans. “I hate celibacy.”

  “Then why the hell are you doing it?”

  “Because I found myself a girl.”

  “Fuck off. Since when?”

  “Since… a while. She doesn’t know she’s mine yet, so I’m waiting.”

  “Welcome to hell, brother.” I turn and lean back against the bathroom counter. “I give you three days before your brain caves in and you’re fucking someone or something.”

  “He has no faith in me,” he mutters to himself.

  “That’s because I remember when you were so desperate you shoved your dick in your stepmom.”

  “I was being a good stepson. She needed the attention after my dad died—someone had to take care of her.”

  “Well, that was thoughtful of you.”

  “Lucien fucked her too.”

  “No, he didn’t. But he did rail her sister the same weekend, if I remember right.”

  Cain loses it on the other end—full-blown laughter echoing through the phone.

  “No wonder I’m screwed up. I’m surrounded by people who are unhinged as fuck.”

  “You adore me,” he says between laughs.

  “Yeah, I know. Now fuck off. I’m going back to bed.”

  “Wait,” he says suddenly, his laughter dying. “Have you killed Lawson yet?”

  “No, I’m under strict instructions to let him keep walking around like he’s not a predator.”

  “Yeah… and as much as I’d love to nail his fucking hands to the floor, slit him open from cock to chin, and turn him inside out while he screams through a throat I’ve already ripped out, Lucien wanted me to remind you not to touch him.”

  “That was impressively graphic.”

  “You’re welcome… now don’t do anything stupid.”

  “I got it… I’ll talk to you soon.”

  Before he can respond, I cut the call. The screen goes black in my hand, and I stand there staring at it.

  Lowering the phone, I grip the edge of the bathroom counter until the ache in my knuckles starts to spread up my forearms. My head drops, and I force myself to exhale slowly through my nose, trying to push the violence back down where it belongs.

  Shannen is healing me.

  She has healed me, mostly.

  But this part of me—this thing kept on a leash, this violent, rabid need to put my father in the ground—that won’t ever disappear. Not until he’s wiped off this earth and I watch the light leave his eyes and know, with absolute certainty, that he can never hurt anyone again.

  Disappointment.

  Worthless.

  Useless.

  Freak.

  Mama’s boy—although I didn’t mind that one as much because, despite her spectacularly shitty decisions, I loved her.

  I can still hear his voice. I can still feel his whiskey-laced breath on my face. I remember being twelve, standing between him and Mom with shaking hands and a split lip, knowing I was about to lose but doing it anyway because someone had to. Then his boot connected with my ribs, followed by the crack of bone, and he just laughed when I cried.

  You don’t forget that shit or move on from it. You just grow into whatever it makes you.

  I’ve been wondering for years whether he’d just put a bullet in his own skull and save me the trouble. But no, the coward won’t touch a hair on his own head.

  Shannen’s soft footsteps reach my ears before I feel her warmth. Arms slide around my waist from behind, and her forehead presses into my back, right between the wings inked over my shoulder blades. I lift my head, catching our reflection in the mirror. Her petite frame is wrapped around mine, and her hands are splayed flat against my stomach, nails lightly grazing my skin.

  “I woke up, and you were gone. I didn’t like it.”

  “Sorry, baby.” I turn and lean back against the counter, my hands slipping to her waist. “Did you sleep okay?”

  “Yeah, I’m going to take a shower… I need to get to the office a little earlier this morning.”

  Inhale.

  Exhale.

  My eyes stay locked on hers.

  “You knew James had a meeting scheduled this morning.”

  “Doesn’t mean I have to like it.”

  She presses gentle kisses across my chest, her lips warm against my skin as she tries to settle the beast she knows lives beneath it.

  “You don’t leave with him this time, and not because I’m telling you, but because you’re smarter than that.”

  “If you say he’s a problem, then he’s a problem.”

  I roll my eyes at how she copies my phrasing word for word—my own fucking words thrown back at me.

  “I won’t be far. The whole time he’s there, I’m watching. Okay?”

  “You have cameras in there, don’t you?”

  “Of course I do.”

  “Phoenix…”

  “Baby,” I whisper, my mouth trailing along her jaw toward her throat. “It’s for your safety.”

  “And your out-of-control need to watch me.”

  “Which we both know turns you on.” I drop my lips to her neck and drag my teeth across her skin. “Now strip and get your ass in the shower because the second you’re out, I’m fucking you so full you’ll have to cross your legs to keep my cum from running down them every second you’re in that meeting.”

  Chapter 21

  Shannen

  Wandering around the office, I scan the room, trying to spot Phoenix’s pervert cameras, but I can’t find them.

  Same as I still don’t know where they are in my apartment—not that he’s needed to use those either, considering he hasn’t actually been back to his place for the past week. He’s practically moved in without asking.

  I walk to the corner of the room, which seems like the most logical place for hidden surveillance, and flip it off. Two middle fingers raised high, flipping off absolutely nothing because I have no idea where the cameras actually are.

  My phone vibrates on the desk, and I glance down at the screen.

  PHOENIX: Cute, baby, but I think you should put those fingers to better use and let me watch.

  You really want James Lawson walking into my office right after I come… I thought you were possessive, Phoenix, yet here you are practically asking for another man to sniff out the sex in the air.

  Nothing.

  Which is weird because Phoenix texts fast.

  I stare at my screen for a few more seconds when the message comes.

  PHOENIX: The way I’m going to mark your body. I can’t fucking wait.

  Hell yes. Ruin me.

  This is exactly what happens when your best friend is a sex-crazed, dick-obsessed nymphomaniac who’s spent years desensitizing you to things that should absolutely not be attractive.

  You become one yourself.

  Now here I am, hopelessly in love with a man who installs cameras in my office so he can watch me. A man who’s probably already planning eighty-four different ways to punish me for that text, and I want every single one of them.

  Needing to get Phoenix out of my head before I lose the ability to function like a human being, I step out of my office. Betty looks up from her desk the second she hears me, her face lighting up.

  “What’s that look for?” I ask.

  “Nothing…” She tilts her head, studying me with those eyes that have seen too much of my life and know far more than I’d like. “You just seem…”

  “What?”

  “Happy… You seem really happy.”

  I smile at her, lean back against the edge of her desk, and slide up onto it.

  “I am happy. Everything is good, really good. Minus the assclown I have to spend my day with.”

  “Mr. Lawson has been very charming so far.”

  “Betty, I assure you he’s not, but we’re going to treat him like he is because I’ve worked my ass off on this redesign.”

  “Okay.” She nods, understanding immediately. “He’s a fake-it client. Got it.”

  God bless Betty.

  I like spending time with the people I work with. It’s something I make time for daily, not because I have to, but because I want to. I want to know them. I want to know about their lives, who they go home to at the end of a long day, and what they complain about at dinner. Mostly, I want them to know they matter here.

  Once I’m back inside, fully prepped for the meeting from hell, I pull out my phone and stare at Phoenix’s name in my contacts. God, I didn’t realize how deeply I’d buried myself in work until I started obsessing over a man instead.

  It’s unhealthy, right?

  I’ve gone from being addicted to my career to being addicted to Phoenix, but that man is pure, uncut crack.

  I don’t miss the irony that addiction clearly runs in my DNA.

  Genetics really are a spiteful bitch like that.

  My phone suddenly lights up in my hand.

  PHOENIX: I love you.

  I melt.

  Literally melt.

  I’m pretty sure every bone in my body just gave out from those three little words.

  For a minute, I just sit in my chair, full rag doll—arms limp, brain off in the fucking clouds—as he takes complete power over me, even when he’s not physically here.

  Cool.

  Love that for me.

  Knocking on my door pulls me out of my Phoenix haze, and Betty opens it, letting James in. His eyes don’t lie, and the way they drag over me, with that stupid fucking grin plastered on his face, makes Phoenix’s warnings feel even more justified. Which is a little annoying because I hate it when he’s right.

  “Good afternoon, Ms. Mitchell.” Betty closes the door behind him, and I gesture toward the chair opposite my desk.

  “How are you, James?”

  “Ready to get this going.” He sits, adjusting his cuff links. “I felt terrible after our video call.”

  “Why?”

  “Because I sounded like an ass. The board is just set in its ways, and I don’t think they were ready for such a drastic change.”

  “I understand people don’t always like change, but it’s your company. Don’t you have the final say?”

  “We’ll see, won’t we, when I go back to them with revisions.” He laughs, but honestly, I don’t have the patience for corporate bullshit and endless rounds of revisions just because his board can’t make a decision.

  “I’ll be honest with you, James. I’d love to have my name and brand associated with your hotels, but I’m not here to waste time. I have other clients waiting, so if this becomes a pattern of back-and-forth, I’ll pass the project on, and you can find someone with more availability.”

  I expect a reaction—maybe offense, irritation, or, at the very least, surprise. Instead, there’s a glint in his eyes that suggests he’s been waiting for me to push back.

  “Yeah, you’re exactly what I need.”

  “Excuse me?”

  “Your lack of desperation is rare, and it’s attractive.” He tilts his head, as if trying to gauge my reaction, which is currently to reach across this desk and twist his balls off. “Professionally speaking, of course.”

  Phoenix’s voice echoes in my mind.

  Be careful, baby. He likes strong women. He likes to weaken them.

  “I don’t need this job, James. That’s what I’m saying. I want it… I really do. But I also have my limits.”

  He raises his hands in surrender, sitting back and resting an ankle on his knee. “Fair enough.”

  The sun is starting to set, and James is still here. His jacket’s been abandoned on the back of the chair for hours, and we’ve been buried in color palettes, font pairings, and layout tweaks that all started blurring together sometime around my third eye twitch.

  I haven’t heard from Phoenix, but I’d bet my fucking soul he hasn’t taken his eyes off us, which is probably the only thing keeping him from walking through that door and making James disappear.

  It’s unhinged as fuck.

  It’s obsessive and possessive.

  But if I’m going to love Phoenix, it has to be for exactly who he is. I’ll never pick and choose which parts of him I accept.

  The light and the dark.

  The gentle and the violent.

  They’re the same.

  They’re all him.

  The boy who learned early that love meant protection, and protection meant blood if it had to.

  A knock at the door pulls my attention, and Betty steps in carrying paper bags that immediately fill the room with the most mouthwatering smell.

  James stands and moves before I do, taking the bags from her with a smile. “Let me take those.”

  “What’s that?”

  “I missed lunch,” James says, turning back to me as Betty quietly slips out. “And I didn’t know how long we’d be, so I ordered some Thai. Is that okay?”

  “I mean, sure, knock yourself out.”

  “There’s plenty here for you too,” he says, unpacking containers onto my desk.

  “I’ve actually got dinner plans.”

  “Come on, you must be hungry. Betty told me you hadn’t eaten lunch today.”

  That’s it, I’m firing her ass.

  “Okay. Just a little,” I say, reaching for a spring roll and immediately regretting it the second my fingers touch it.

  I want to slam my forehead into the desk because I just handed him that small victory of control, and he knows it.

  Shortly after, I sink back into my chair, and James circles behind me. Every hair on the back of my neck stands on end because he’s close, too close. If I spun my chair right now, I’d be full face-to-dick.

  “This is all looking really good, Shannen.”

  “Hopefully it’ll be better received than my original idea.”

  “I loved the first design because it was so different,” he admits. “But this will work. I can’t see anyone raising a complaint.”

  The bright red we started with has been toned down to maroon, and we’re still going with the black but using less of it. The fonts aren’t as sharp—they’re definitely less me—and we’re starting with their website to test the waters. Changing the hotels will come later, and that will be entirely left to James and whoever he brings in. I’m just the artist who sends the files.

  “You preferred the first?” I ask, turning my face and glancing up at him.

  “Yes, but not because this isn’t a great alternative. The original was… I don’t know—it felt more seductive. Intimate. I liked it a lot.”

  “But your board, of what I assume are older men, didn’t like that.” I start to laugh, but it dies in my throat when James leans in closer.

  “I love how this shade complements the black. It’s dark, but still eye-catching.”

  My cell vibrates, and Phoenix’s name flashes across the screen. I reach for it immediately, and James takes a step back.

  “Sorry, I need to—” I turn my face and force a polite smile. “Give me a second.”

  PHOENIX: I’m about five seconds away from breaking both his arms so he can’t get that fucking close to you again.

  I’ve only just got you back. I don’t want to be visiting you in prison.

  PHOENIX: Worth it. Now, tell him to back the fuck up, or I will.

  I set my phone down, definitely a little too hard, and push back from the table, needing distance from James. His attention feels almost physical, and whatever Phoenix is feeling right now, watching this through whatever camera he’s got trained on me—I can feel that too.

  “I think we’ve made real progress here.”

  “So do I, and I don’t see there being any issues with this fresh direction.” He steps forward, closing the distance I just created, and smiles down at me.

  I move toward my desk, putting furniture between us now. “Great… So I’ll send over all the files, and you can show the board.”

  “Thank you. I know they’re going to love it.”

  “Perfect. Then we’re all set.”

  He just stands there for a moment, then tilts his head and slides his hands into his pockets.

  “I know you said you had dinner plans, but can I tempt you to change them and go for a drink with me instead?”

  “I can’t. I’m sorry.”

  “Tomorrow, then?” I stare at him, waiting for him to stop dancing around this so I can shut it down completely. “I’m in the city for a few days and won’t be back until the gala. I was thinking⁠—”

  “What?”

  “Come on, Shannen, you know I’m interested in getting to know you better.”

  “I’m sorry, James, but I don’t mix business with pleasure, ever. Even if I did, I have a boyfriend, so if there’s any intention on your part beyond this redesign, it’s best you know right now that I’m not available.”

  “How serious is it?”

  The fucking audacity.

  “Very.”

  “Okay, I understand. And whoever he is, I hope he knows he’s a lucky man.”

  “Thank you, but I do need to wrap this up.”