“That’s why we could invite him now,” Grant said. “So he can put it in his schedule.”

  It was a struggle to keep her tone light, and calm, when her heart was breaking. “It’s not just that, Grant. People like Michael—they’re heroes. They have to do big, important things. They keep people safe, and save the world. And that means they can’t always do stuff like birthday parties.”

  Grant hugged the blankets up to his chin. “I suppose saving the world is more important than birthday cake.”

  “Just a little. But we’re going to have so much fun at your party, anyway,” Nicole told him. “Promise.”

  Grant nodded, subdued. “Okay.”

  She gave him a kiss and smoothed the blankets around him. And eased the door shut quietly as she left.

  Then nearly jumped out of her skin when she turned to find Michael standing there in the hallway, watching her. “Holy shit, Michael! How long have you been standing there?”

  “Not long.” His voice was so low she nearly didn’t hear him. There was something in his expression, something dark and closed off that made her heart sink down into her stomach. Nicole knew that look. The classic Michael no, bad feelings, shove them away.

  Instinctively she crossed over to him. “What’s wrong?” she asked, part of her hating that she did. Hating that she saw the Rinaldi Emotional Vault slam closed and immediately felt obligated to try to pry it open.

  Michael looked at her for a long moment. He didn’t answer. His eyes were shadowed and intent, and something deep inside of her shivered, and then he was kissing her, fierce and hot and urgent. There was no finesse, only need, as he took and took until she was trembling and clinging to him. Then in one quick, smooth move, he swept her up in his arms and carried her into his room.

  He kicked the door shut behind them as he tossed her onto the bed. Nicole’s breath escaped in a surprised gasp. “Michael?”

  But he was already looming over her, his mouth urgent as he pressed her back into the mattress, letting his weight bear down against her to pin her into place. There was more than simple heat in his kiss, there was something frantic and desperate that had Nicole pulling back and putting a hand to his face. “Michael, what is it?”

  Michael let out a ragged breath, and for a moment rested his forehead against hers. “I just need you. Now. Tonight.” His voice was fierce and a little dangerous. “Nicole—”

  She pulled him back down, kissing him with everything she had. Nicole knew that something was bothering him, something that he couldn’t—wouldn’t—talk to her about. But she also knew that when Michael didn’t want to talk, nothing was going to drag those words out of him. Besides, he’d always been better with action. Michael growled low in his throat as he kissed her back, his hands finding the front of her shirt, and there were several soft pings as buttons went flying.

  And then his mouth was on her neck, her breasts, his teeth scraping along her belly and trailing lower, and Nicole gasped as he jerked her pants over her hips, then hooked his fingers under the thin fabric of her panties and simply tore. The next moment, she arched back, crying out as his head dipped lower. His mouth was hot and wet as he explored her hungrily, showing no mercy. His arms inexorably pinned her down as she rocked against him, lost to a sensation too blissful to be called pain, but too brutal to be purely pleasure, either. And then she was shattering, crying out, every inch of her humming even as her body still ached with unfulfilled need, her mind barely able to keep up with the whirlwind of sensations coursing through her body.

  She was still spinning as Michael prowled over her, thrust into her with one thick, sure stroke. He fit her, he filled her—no one had ever, ever fit her just the same. Had made her feel complete. She hooked her legs around his hips, urging him onward, as he surged against her, driving into her again and again. I want this. I want you. Forever. She couldn’t say it, not when she wasn’t certain if he would say it back, but she could show him. Nicole tried to put every ounce of what she felt into her kiss—how much she loved him, needed him, wanted him to stay. Together they tumbled over the brink.

  14

  Michael woke slowly, aware of something soft and warm and Nicole-scented cradled in his arms. Of a feeling of rightness. For a moment, he burrowed his face into her wild cloud of curls and fought to stay under. Fought for one more moment of comfort and peace. Of the rightness of dozing, with this woman curled up against him. There were times when he hated that his SEAL training never let him sleep in once he was awake.

  Nicole shifted in his arms, and he knew she was waking up. Much as he didn’t want to, Michael eased away. He turned his back to her, picking up his phone off the nightstand.

  And sat up abruptly. Three missed calls from Easton. Something was wrong. Michael dialed his friend back immediately. When there was no answer, he tried Ken.

  “What’s wrong?” Nicole sat up, holding a sheet to herself as she rubbed the sleep from her eyes.

  Ken wasn’t answering either. “Do me a favor,” Michael said to Nicole. “Call Charlotte.”

  Nicole’s face went white, but she didn’t ask any questions as she rapidly pulled on her clothes. She headed to her room and was back in less than a minute, her phone at her ear. For one, endless moment, they waited. Nicole started to shake her head, but then her eyes lit up. “Charlotte! Are you okay? What’s going on? Wait, let me tell Michael.” She turned to make eye contact with him. “They’re fine,” she said. “Easton’s calling you now.”

  His phone was ringing even as she said it. Michael answered it, nodding when Nicole gestured to the door and stepped outside. “Easton.”

  “False alarm,” Easton said. “We’re fine. I just got a bad feeling. I thought someone was following us here at the hotel.”

  “Better safe than sorry.”

  “About that.” Easton let out a hard breath. “I wanted to let you know that I’m going to check out of the hotel tonight. We’re going dark. Completely.”

  “You’re sure?” Michael asked, a little surprised. Completely dark meant no phone, no internet, nothing. Utterly off the grid. It definitely meant they’d be harder for the bad guy—or guys—to find, but it also meant it would be that much harder for him to get backup if something went wrong. Something had to have seriously spooked Easton if he was taking those measures.

  “I’m sure,” Easton bit off. There was a tension in his voice that surprised Michael. “I’ll check in with you in two weeks.”

  “I don’t think that’s necessary,” Michael said. “The police have someone in custody. This could all be over soon. They should be able to arrest the murderer as soon as our guy talks.”

  “If he talks,” Easton said. “We don’t know that he will. If he lasts that long. What if a lawyer gets him out? Or what if someone comes after him where he’s being held? If this really is mob related, it might go higher up the food chain than they think. Until we know for sure, I’m not going to take any risks. I can’t—I can’t let anything happen to her.”

  There was an urgency in Easton’s voice that surprised Michael. “East—”

  “Don’t,” his friend said sharply. “I’m informing you of a change in our situation, but this isn’t up for discussion. How is everything there?” Easton hurried on, before Michael could question him.

  For a moment, Michael debated pushing his friend for answers anyway. This didn’t sound like the Easton he knew. There was something else going on. But this wasn’t the time. Michael trusted Easton’s instincts. If the man felt it wasn’t safe to stay, then going was the right decision—and Michael wouldn’t do anything to delay him in his plans. “Everything’s fine. Cabin’s secure, and I haven’t picked up anything unusual on surveillance. As long as no one finds out about this place, we should be good.”

  “And Nicole?”

  Michael thought about not telling Easton. He was pretty sure he knew what his friend would say. After all, Easton had been there when Nicole had broken Michael’s heart. He’d been a big part of the reason Michael had been able to keep it together. But Easton would be honest with him. He’d have perspective, which was something Michael was running dangerously short of at the moment. “Let me ask you something. Do you ever think I might be wrong about never giving anyone a second chance? That I might be making a mistake, holding on so tight to that rule, never making exceptions?”

  “No.” Easton’s answer was immediate.

  Michael’s gut sank. “You don’t?”

  “Do I think you’re hard on people? Yes. I’d even say you’re too hard most of the time. But not this time. Not if we’re talking about Nicole Zito. I was there when she ended things with you before. I saw how badly she hurt you.”

  Michael nodded. He wasn’t surprised. Easton wasn’t telling him anything he didn’t know, deep down. He thought of the conversation he’d overheard the night before. The elation he’d felt when Grant had mentioned inviting him to the birthday party again—when he’d simply assumed that Michael was dating his mom and that he’d be a part of their lives now, even when this was over. There’d been a moment earlier, when they were watching that silly bear movie together, when they’d felt like a family. He’d let himself imagine. Want. And from what he said, Michael thought it sounded like Grant might want that, too.

  Except then he’d heard Nicole, assuring her son that Michael wouldn’t - couldn’t - be there. She hadn’t even checked with him first. She just decided that he couldn’t be counted on for something as simple as a kid’s birthday party—that the rest of his obligations would take priority. Which meant either she didn’t want him there, or she still didn’t believe she could count on him to be there for her and her son.

  Michael’s gut twisted. He’d wanted to be wrong. He’d wanted for them to have a second chance. But he clearly couldn’t trust himself when it came to Nicole. “You’re right, Easton.”

  Michael just wished he wasn’t.

  15

  “And you’re sure you're fine,” Nicole said, pinning the phone between her shoulder and ear as she dug the eggs and bacon out of the fridge.

  “We’re fine. We’re just moving to a new location and going dark.” Charlotte was using her calm voice, the one she used when she was worried, but didn’t want to talk about it. “How are you?”

  “Fine,” Nicole said immediately. “We’re good. Grant’s having the time of his life. He found a dog. Poor thing was abandoned—tied to a tree and just left there. What kind of asshole would do that? So of course, we had to take it in, clean it up, get it fed. And then, apparently, we had to name it, and teach it tricks, and turn it into a member of the family.”

  “Oh?” Charlotte’s voice went warm with laughter. “And how do we feel about that?”

  “Defeated.” Nicole set the eggs down on the counter, and noticed Destroyer, who had slipped into the kitchen like a shadow. He sat obediently the moment she looked over, a hopeful expression on his face, which Nicole was pretty sure had to do with the package of bacon in her hand. “He’s staring at me right now, and he’s got these big sad eyes, and he honestly is a sweet dog—really gentle, well behaved—and I…just can’t fight it anymore. Grant is so happy.”

  “Well, if a dog is the worst thing that happens, then—”

  “It’s not just the dog,” Nicole said softly. “Grant really likes Michael.”

  “Oh.”

  “You should see them together. Michael is so good with him, which I wasn’t prepared for, and Grant clearly adores him.” She squeezed her eyes shut and blurted out, “I slept with him.” Well, if she had to tell someone, at least it was Charlotte and not Holly. “We slept together.”

  There was a pause. “Oh.”

  “It’s not a big deal. Really.” Nicole rolled her eyes. It sounded unbelievable even to her.

  “You mean don’t tell Holly,” Charlotte said.

  Sometimes her friend was a little too insightful. Though, yes, that had been exactly what Nicole had meant. Holly was the best, most loyal friend a woman could ask for—but she tended to share her opinions at top volume. And for an extended period of time. If she thought that Nicole was setting herself up to get hurt, she’d have quite a few opinions to air and nothing short of a tranquilizer dart would be able to get her to stop.

  “I mean that it’s just sex,” Nicole hedged. “It’s not a big deal.”

  “Are you sure? Sex with your ex feels like a big deal to me. I know how much he meant to you. You don’t talk about him much, but when you do…well, it shows. I’d thought that maybe this time together would help you get some closure. But it sounds like it’s just opening things up for you again.”

  “It’s—” Nicole stopped and then tried again. “It was bound to happen. The two of us, holed up in here, all those unresolved feelings, and his stupid handsome face. And, yes, don’t tell Holly.” When Charlotte didn’t answer right away, she sighed. “But just because something is happening doesn’t mean it’s serious. Maybe you were right in the first place—maybe this is just getting it out of our systems so we can get closure. Anyway, it’ll be over soon, and life will go back to normal. You don’t have to worry about me.”

  “You know, telling people that they don’t have to worry about you never really works, especially when they love you very much. Especially when there are people after them—and you—who want to kill all of us. You know, it’s okay if it is just sex. This is a scary time and there’s nothing wrong with wanting to take a chance on something that makes you feel good. But it’s also okay to want more than that,” Charlotte added carefully. “Nicole, I know how strong you had to be all these years. For Grant and your parents. For yourself. Dealing with losing the baby. Becoming a mom when you were barely more than a kid yourself. Having to drop out of school before you got your degree. And then all the work and time and money you put into creating our salon and keeping it running. You always take care of everything and everyone. But it’s all right to want someone who’ll be there for you and Grant, the same way you’re there for all of us. Someone who’ll commit to being there in the future.”

  She thought about the first time they had sex a few days ago. The questions in the dark that had followed, when she’d told him about the baby. If something like this happened now, what would you do? Nicole let out a hard breath. “I know.”

  “I only say it because I know it’s sometimes hard for you to ask for that.”

  “It doesn’t matter,” Nicole said bitterly. Because she did want that. She wanted it with Michael. And sometimes, she could even think for a second that he might want it, too. But that didn’t mean he’d let himself have it. “Trust me, it isn’t even a possibility.”

  “Are you sure? Have you asked him what he wants? If both of you want to try again—”

  “I don’t have to ask,” Nicole said. “I know what he wants. And even if he was interested, he wouldn’t let himself risk it.”

  “And you know this because you talked to him about it,” Charlotte persisted.

  “I know this because it’s Michael Rinaldi,” Nicole said. “He doesn’t do second chances. Ever. It’s kind of his golden rule. When I ended things with him all those years ago, I knew that meant we were over for good. There was no coming back from that. He might be willing to indulge in a fling right now, while we’re stuck together, but I blew my one chance at a relationship with him. I hurt him, so he’ll never give me the chance to do it again.”

  Charlotte was quiet long enough that it worried her. “What is it? Charlie?”

  “Easton might’ve said something like that,” Charlotte admitted.

  “What did he say?”

  “That something happened when they were in the SEALs. Their superior officer was selling secrets, and things went bad because of it. A few people on their team died. Apparently, there was another member of their team who suspected what was going on. Jed Maloney. He gathered evidence and turned the officer in…but Michael thought he should have acted sooner, before they lost the guys on their team. Even though Jed did the right thing, Michael still blames him for those lost lives. Now Jed’s back in the US and needs a job. Easton and their other partner have been trying to convince Michael that they should hire him, that they could really use the help. But Michael—”

  “Won’t give him a second chance,” Nicole concluded. “Well, there you go.” She tried to make her voice light, unconcerned, but it was too much effort. There was the touch of a cold, gentle nose at her hand, and she looked down to see that Destroyer had padded over to settle beside her. Giving in, she crouched down, scratching his cheeks, and Destroyer rested his head on her leg. Something about it had tears stinging in her eyes. “We never even had a chance.”

  “I’m so sorry,” Charlotte said.

  “I’m not.” She wouldn’t let herself be sorry for this time with Michael. “I’ll admit, getting involved again probably wasn’t the smartest choice, but at least now we can work out these feelings, and say goodbye to each other honestly.” Nicole tried to keep her voice calm, but it didn’t work. Even she could hear that.

  “Hey,” Charlotte said, “how about this? When we get back home—because we are going to get back safe, all of us—you and me and Holly are going to have a girls’ night. Okay? Just ice cream and old movies, and we’re going to talk about all of this.” Her sigh echoed across the phone line. “We’re going to have a lot to talk about.”

  “Okay,” Nicole murmured. She dashed away the tears before they could fall and pulled herself together. “It’s a date. Love you.”

  “Love you, too.” There was a pause. “We have to go.”

  “Be safe.”

  “I will be. Easton’s here.” There was quiet confidence in Charlotte’s voice.

  Nicole hung up, the heaviness still weighing on her heart. She gave Destroyer one last pat and stood, setting the bacon to start sizzling in a pan, and adding a few extra pieces because Destroyer was a very good boy. Anger and sadness churned inside her as she started the coffee brewing. Nicole tried to focus on the anger. She was always better with that than sadness, which always made her feel too vulnerable. Anger motivated her, helped her power through. And she was very angry with herself for putting her heart in a position to be broken. She meant what she’d said to Charlotte; she’d expected something like this to happen. At the very least, she wasn’t surprised, not at her feelings for Michael, or that they fell into bed together. But it had been stupid of her to let her feelings get involved when she knew there was no hope that they might be able to build something real together. Nicole grabbed an egg from the carton, all but smashing it against the side of the bowl, frustration scraping along her spine as she then had to dig eggshells out.