“Yes,” she said in a voice so small it was hardly above a whisper. “Of course, it does. Family is important.”

  She should have seen this coming. On some level, she thought she had, although it had done her little good in the end. It wasn’t like she hadn’t seen the way he shut down any time his late wife was mentioned. And she’d felt the tension radiating off of him whenever she got just a little too comfortable with his daughters. As much as she loved the Harvey family, and she truly did, she was forever destined to remain on its sidelines. There was no place for her there, and nothing she could do would change that fact.

  “I don’t want to hurt you.” He said it as if there was some way he could end things without causing her pain. That wasn’t possible, of course, but there was no need to punish him by throwing that in his face.

  “It’s okay. I understand. And, honestly, I need to focus more on work, too. You’re right. It’s best to end it now, before anyone gets hurt.” Even if it was already too late for that.

  Alex bowed his head, and when he spoke next, his voice was hoarse and husky. “Thank you, Juniper. This is more kindness than I deserve.”

  She came forward then, opening her door before lifting her hand to his face one last time. “No, it’s not. It’s just the right amount.”

  She wasn’t sure if he remained outside to watch her car bounce down the front path. She couldn’t stand the idea of looking back and seeing him there, and the idea of him already gone was even worse. She managed to make it a few miles down the road from his property before her vision was blurred with tears so badly that she had to pull over.

  16

  Juniper wasn’t sure how long she sat on the side of the road, sobbing alone in her little car and feeling wretched. What she did know was that she was grateful for her last-minute decision to shove her makeup bag in her purse before heading out the door. After she was finally able to pull herself together, she pulled down the visor and slid the little mirror open. She winced when she saw herself, but there was no time to ruminate on the way she looked. She hadn’t been lying when she told Alex she needed to spend more of her energy on work. If there was ever a time to throw herself into her business, it was now.

  This was further confirmed when she got back into town and hurried back into the shop. They were always slammed on Christmas Eve, but even by those standards, this was intense. She burst through the door, the little bell above her head ringing wildly, and half-expected Margot to intercept her with a laundry list of Juniper’s failings. But of course, Margot was too busy at the register, trying to deal with the long, snaking line of customers waiting to pay for their last-minute purchases.

  “Oh my gosh, I am so, so sorry!” she exclaimed, picking her way nimbly through the crowd of shoppers and practically throwing herself at the register. “I seriously don’t know what’s wrong with me, messing up an order like that. And leaving you here on such a busy day! I feel terrible, Margot, I really do.”

  Margot, cool as a cucumber behind the counter, raised her eyebrows so high they almost blended into her hairline. “Um, do I look mad to you? Because if so, that’s just my face, and you should know that about me by now.”

  “But that order,” Juniper stammered. Absurdly, she felt dangerously close to tears again, and she bit down on the inside of her cheek to keep herself in check. “I made such a mess of it, and you had to waste so much time dealing with it when you were probably slammed already.”

  Margot waived a dismissive hand. “Seriously, girl, all’s well that ends well, and this situation turned out just fine. We figured everything out, and the customers left happy, so please, don’t beat yourself up about it. Nobody is perfect. Not even you.”

  Now she waggled her eyebrows comically in a way that always made Juniper laugh, even now, when she was feeling so low. “Okay, okay. I hear you. Just let me get to work, okay? You know that always makes me feel better.”

  And in a small way, it did so now, too. The shop remained so busy that there was precious little time for Juniper to dwell on the fact that she and Alex were over nearly before they had really gotten a chance to start. It also kept Margot so busy that she either didn’t notice that Juniper had been crying or didn’t have time to grill her for details. Either way, Juniper was thankful for that small reprieve. She was pretty sure that if she tried to explain the details of her conversation with Alex right now, she would start crying all over again.

  She could lose herself in her work, though, let the familiar rhythm ease her mind into blessed silence, if only for a while. It made the minutes pass much faster than she would have believed possible, and when she felt Margot’s hand on her shoulder, she was surprised.

  “Hey, lady, it’s just about closing time and the phone is ringing. What do you think? Should we just pretend we’ve already left?”

  She looked so hopeful that Juniper was tempted to agree, but she shook her head instead. When Margot groaned dramatically, Juniper held up her hands to slow the tide of complaints.

  “Don’t worry,” she laughed softly. “I can take care of it. You managed everything earlier today, when we were actually busy. Taking care of this last thing before closing up shop is the least I can do.”

  Margot bowed her head in a namaste gesture and went to grab her things. Juniper, shaking her head, went for the phone. Before she could even say hello, a harried female voice came blaring across the line.

  “Oh, thank goodness!” the woman cried with obvious relief. “I honestly didn’t think anyone would answer. Aren’t you guys closed by now?”

  “Well, technically,” Juniper answered. “But I’m still here, and I don’t have anywhere to be. So, what can I help you with?”

  The woman didn’t seem to notice how pitiful it was not to have any plans on Christmas Eve. She launched straight into a story that was half apology explaining the series of unfortunate events that had her and her family running so late to pick up their order. A lot of it involved the woman’s three children, and Juniper listened intently. She tried hard not to think about Sophia, Thora, and Lizzie, but that was almost impossible, and it made her sick with regret. She hadn’t expected to come to care so much for Alex’s daughters, but she most certainly did. The thought that she would never listen to another of their fanciful secrets or help them braid their hair made her want to start crying all over again.

  The mention of the kids, along with her lingering guilt over her screw up from before, resulted in Juniper offering to stay in the shop until the family arrived to retrieve their order. Thankfully, it wasn’t long before the family arrived—noisy and exuberant and overflowing with apologies. She thought it might make her feel better somehow, at peace, to see a happy family on Christmas Eve. Instead, it made her feel more alone than ever.

  She stood as silent as a shadow, keeping herself out of the way as the family took a little time to browse the now empty store without other shoppers. Juniper had always enjoyed the chance to observe a family and guess at its dynamics. She loved seeing their happiness and imagining what it would have been like if her parents had lived and she had grown up in a happy family of her own.

  This family was excitedly discussing their annual tradition of driving through neighborhoods and looking at lights before the children went to sleep so that Santa could come. It was exactly the kind of thing Juniper normally loved overhearing snippets of, but tonight, it did not fill her with the expected joy. Instead, it saddled her with a feeling of sadness so profound she could scarcely breathe.

  In a few moments, this happy little family would climb into their car and head out for their Christmas Eve tradition. Juniper would lock up and trudge up the stairs to her little apartment where nobody waited for her return. She would spend Christmas alone, and the prospect of doing so had never before felt quite so grim.

  Alex sat back on the couch, his ankle hooked over his opposite knee and a cold beer in his hand. Will and Travis sat in the old armchairs flanking the coffee table, sipping their own brews and talking quietly.

  He couldn’t remember the last time they had done this. Just the three of them and a six pack with everyone else in the house already gone to bed. He wasn’t sure if he would have done whatever it took to get both Travis and Will back home at the same time if not for that letter to Santa, but he was sure glad that he had. He still felt some of the awkwardness that came with prolonged absence, but it was evaporating much more quickly than he expected. They didn’t know each other as well now as they had when they were boys, but Alex was starting to believe that they could get some of that rhythm and understanding back. And it was good to have them close with the way he was feeling now. They gave him some small distraction from the pain that he was feeling in spite of himself. Because try as he might, he could not seem to get Juniper out of his head.

  “Hey, man,” Travis asked, lifting his chin in Alex’s direction. “What’s going on with you? You’re quiet tonight. Like, more quiet than usual.”

  Alex shrugged and took another sip from his bottle. “Nothing much. Just thinking about the day.”

  “Yeah? Anything about it in particular?” In true Travis fashion, he didn’t appear to have any intention of just letting things be.

  Alex sighed and set his beer down on the table. “I ended things with Juniper today. After the brunch, when I walked her to her car.”

  “Ah, come on now!” Travis cried, a little louder than was advisable with the rest of the house sleeping. “What would you want to go and do that for? I can’t believe you blew it with a woman as good-looking as Juniper Marsh.”

  Will, who had remained silent up to this point, sat forward with his fingertips steepled. “Ease up, Travis.”

  Travis shot Will his patented what did I do look. “I know she’s always been your buddy, but even you have to admit, she’s a looker. I’m not saying I’d poach from Alex, but you can’t blame me for having eyes.”

  “She’s a beautiful woman—in every way,” Alex agreed. Travis didn’t even know the half of it. Alex could still feel her skin, smooth as velvet beneath his hands. He could hear the sound of her sigh when he kissed down the length of her neck. “But it wouldn’t be poaching because we’re done. Completely. I thought it was for the best.”

  “What do you mean?” The mischief in Travis’s eyes was replaced by a more sober expression. He could be a handful, but he was always there for the people he cared about when they really needed him. “Why would that be best? I got the sense that Juniper made you happy. Why would that be a bad thing?”

  “She does—I mean, she did,” Alex corrected himself. “But it was still really new—and I wasn’t sure we could make things work in the long term. I’ve got so much on my plate, with the girls and the ranch. She’s got her business and art exhibits and probably a dozen other things. I didn’t see how we could fit that all together. And if it wasn’t going to work out, it seemed smarter to end it sooner rather than later. For me, and for the girls. They’re getting pretty attached to Juniper already, and the more time they spend around her, the truer that will be. I don’t want to risk breaking their hearts. Not after losing their mother. It wouldn’t be fair.”

  Travis was quiet for a moment, letting Alex’s words sink in. Will didn’t say anything, either, which put Alex a little on edge. He knew how much Juniper meant to his youngest brother.

  Finally, Travis tried on another smile. “That’s rough, brother, but you’re a smart guy. If you think it’s what’s best for you guys, who am I to judge? Besides, there are plenty of beautiful women out there, right? That nurse you’ve got hired for dad, for example. Please tell me you haven’t harbored any lustful thoughts for her.”

  “Come on, Travis,” Alex groaned, although the comment got a small smile out of him. “No. She’s a great nurse, and she’s been terrific with Dad, that’s where it ends for me.”

  Travis looked more than a little satisfied with the answer. “Excellent news. She looks like someone I might like to get to know. See what I mean? You’ll find someone else. Juniper isn’t the only woman on earth.”

  Alex didn’t dignify that one with an answer. Of course, he knew Juniper wasn’t the only woman on earth. It was just that right now, that didn’t mean a thing to him. She was the one he wanted, even though he had been the one to end things. At the moment, he couldn’t imagine ever wanting to be with a different woman again. There was always going to be the risk of getting hurt, of his daughters getting hurt. Better not to take that kind of risk at all.

  Will cleared his throat, his brow furrowed. Alex’s stomach did an uncomfortable somersault. If someone was going to reproach him for the way he had treated Juniper, it would be Will. Of course it would be.

  “I want you to be happy, Alex,” he said quietly. Alex could see that he was weighing his words carefully. “I hope you know that. You’re my brother, and I love you.”

  “I do know that, but I appreciate you saying so all the same.”

  Will nodded. “Good. And you also know that Juniper has always been a really good friend to me. She isn’t blood, but there were plenty of times when it felt like she was. So, I want her to be happy, too.”

  “So do I,” Alex said quietly. A lump was forming in his throat, and it made it difficult for him to speak. “I hope you believe me on that. I want her to be happy very much.”

  “I do,” Will assured him. “I honestly believe that both of you want what’s best for each other. I also think that if either one of you is unsure about things, calling it quits is probably for the best. Relationships can be really messy, you know? Especially when there are kids involved. In the end, I think you have to do what your heart is telling you to do. It takes courage to do the right thing, even when it’s hard. You should be proud of yourself for that.”

  “Right. Thank you, Will. I appreciate that. And thank you both for being here for Christmas this year.”

  It was good advice. Alex wasn’t lying about that. But the words hit him in a way that he hadn’t been expecting—and that he was sure that Will didn’t intend.

  It was what Will had said about courage—how it was brave to do what was right. Was he really doing the right thing? Was he being brave? Because in all honesty, it felt more like he was afraid. Afraid of how strong his feelings were for Juniper. Afraid of how naturally she fit with him and with his girls. Afraid of how easily he could see her as part of the family. He’d scolded himself every time he’d started to think that, had convinced himself it was wrong to think of her that way…but what had he really been feeling? Was it his heart telling him that things couldn’t work with Juniper?

  Or was it his fear, telling him to take the easy way out?

  17

  Alex slept poorly that night, the kind of tossing and turning that left him feeling like he hadn’t gotten any rest at all. Now, he not only had Juniper on his mind, but Will’s comment about having the courage to make the right choice as well. It made his mind a very crowded place to visit.

  Because of this, he was already awake and dressed when his girls awoke on Christmas morning. On a typical day, they were pretty respectful of the people who might still be sleeping in the house. Christmas was a whole other ballgame, though, and there was no need to guess as to when they were up. First came Lizzie’s excited shrieks, followed by the pounding of three pairs of feet on hardwood floors. Alex shut his eyes and smiled. Confused or not, that sound brought back all kinds of memories. He may not be in the best place right now, but he could give his daughters the Christmas they had been longing for. He could do that much, and for today, that was enough.

  He slipped out of his room, moving as quietly as he was able to. If possible, he wanted to get a look at his daughters before they realized he was there. There was something magical about seeing the three of them together when they didn’t know they were being observed. In some ways, they were incredibly different people, and in ways that might seem as if their personalities would clash. And they did, sometimes, butting heads the way that siblings were likely to do. But most of the time, they formed a perfect unit, fitting together like puzzle pieces. People were funny that way. Especially when they were guided by love. The right fit could be the best feeling in the world.

  “Daddy! It’s time!”

  It was Lizzie who spied him first, hovering in the hallway between his bedroom and the living room. There was no surprise there. When it came to things she wanted, she was as focused and as sharp eyed as a hawk, and getting the Christmas morning festivities underway was something she wanted very much indeed.

  Alex grinned and padded into the room, plopping down on the couch so that his girls could pile up on top of him. All three were still in their pajamas, their hair tousled from sleep. Their faces shone up at him expectantly, and Alex let himself bask in the moment—in their happiness and in the joy that they brought to his life.

  “Hey, Dad?” Thora asked, slipping her hand into his.

  “Hey, what, Sugar?”

  “When is Juniper going to get here? She’s coming for Christmas, too, right?”

  Alex winced. He should have anticipated this, and he felt like a fool for failing to do so. Of course, they would ask about Juniper. She had been there for most of the festivities as of late, and she’d done so much to get them ready for Christmas. It stood to reason that his daughters would expect Juniper to share the day with them.

  He squeezed Thora’s hand. “I’m glad you asked that, baby. That’s something the three of us need to talk about.”

  “What does that mean?” Sophia, so observant and self-contained, wore a mistrustful expression now, as if she sensed that bad news was coming.

  Alex sighed. “It means that Juniper has been awesome, but she isn’t going to be coming around anymore. She was here to help us get some things in order, and now she needs to be able to take care of her own work.”