She wasn’t sure yet how she’d pull that off, but she’d figure it out.

  15

  By the end of the day, Mattie was spent. In more ways than one. This was one of the few stretches of time when the museum could be open, with all the volunteers present, and she’d been surprised and pleased by how high attendance had been. Apparently, only being open for short periods each week had allowed demand to build up. Plus, the business had helped distract her from the awful moment in the hallway this morning outside Greg’s room when she’d overheard him say those terrible things on the phone. But now that she was alone in her car, waiting outside Liza’s school to pick her daughter up, there was nothing to keep her from reliving that moment in her head and looping those words over and over again in her mind.

  She was so caught up in her thoughts that she didn’t even realize that Liza was waiting on the sidewalk until she knocked on the car window. Surprised, Mattie jumped slightly, then put the car into park and got out to come around and help her daughter into her car seat in the back. Normally, Liza talked a mile a minute about her day while Mattie got her situated, but today the little girl seemed oddly quiet. Once she got her fastened in and her pink pony backpack tucked onto the seat beside her, Mattie climbed back in behind the wheel and slowly maneuverer her way out of the busy parking lot.

  Glancing in the rearview mirror, she saw Liza’s dejected expression and Mattie’s heart pinched. “Something wrong, sweetie?”

  Liza scrunched up her little nose and glared at her mother. “Cassie still won’t talk to me.”

  “Aw sweetie.” Mattie’s chest ached. “I’m sorry.”

  “It sucks, Mom,” Liza said, huffing out a breath. “That fire wasn’t my fault but she blames me anyway. It’s not fair and it sucks.” She sighed. “Sorry, I know I’m not supposed to use that word.”

  Mattie bit her lip to keep from smiling. It was true that “suck” wasn’t something she wanted to encourage in her daughter’s vocabulary, but it seemed oddly fitting at that moment. Besides, Liza was obviously upset already, no need to scold her right now. “Well, I wouldn’t worry. You’ll find another best friend soon.”

  “I don’t want one.” Liza crossed her arms and scowled out the window. “I’m done with my Best Friend Project. It doesn’t work anyway, so I’m not going to try.” She shook her head decisively. “I’m going to learn how to read chapter books instead. I’ll worry about a best friend after that. I don’t need the distraction. I need to focus.”

  That last part caught Mattie up short, most likely because she’d never heard her daughter use those words before. She wasn’t aware she even knew them or what they meant. But then a sickening realization dawned that Liza had probably heard them from Mattie herself. That was the thing with kids. They were always listening, even when you wish they weren’t.

  Crap. The last thing she wanted to do was give Liza the idea that Mattie’s chosen course forward was the best one. It broke her heart to think her daughter felt she had to choose between work and friendship because that’s the example her mother had set for her. Or worse, believing that it was better to close herself off from relationships entirely and hide in work just to avoid some pain. Damn if her eyes didn’t burn a bit at that, but no. Mattie refused to cry anymore over her choices. What she did want to do was convince Liza there was another way. She might’ve screwed up big time in her own life, but her daughter didn’t have to, and there was time for Liza to change her ways, even if it was too late for Mattie.

  Isn’t it?

  The question haunted her on the way home, even as she tried to talk Liza around to a different mindset. “Well, you know that it doesn’t have to be either or. You can search for a best friend and learn to read chapter books at once. It’s fun to share chapter books with friends—the books give you lots to talk about. And as far as a best friend goes, you’ll find the right person, eventually. But you can’t force it, sweetie. You just have to make friends with people then see what happens.” Liza gave her a skeptical look in the mirror and Mattie snorted. “It’s true. Maybe we could even try to have you meet new people someplace outside the school, if you want. Like maybe find a club or sport you like or maybe an art class after school. That way you’d learn a new skill and make new friends. How does that sound?”

  Liza perked up a little in the back seat. “Would the club have a secret clubhouse?”

  Mattie laughed. “I don’t know. Maybe. That’s something we could ask them when we find one.”

  They continued chatting and the mood in the car lightened. But that question lingered in Mattie’s mind. Was it too late for her and Greg? Had she blown it completely with him? As she turned onto their street, she realized that her advice to her daughter kind of applied pretty well to her own situation too.

  She couldn’t force a relationship with him, no matter how badly she might want one. But if she hid in her work and never faced her emotions, she’d lose any chance of happiness. If she wanted a real relationship, she owed it to herself to lay all her cards on the table, tell him how she really felt about him, then see what happened. There was a good chance he might not feel the same about her, but that was a risk she’d have to take. She might get hurt, and yeah, the timing of it all sucked big time, to use Liza’s word. But better to put it all out there and know, than to seal that part of her herself off forever, right? Besides, if she was going to be a good role model for Liza, she needed to walk her talk.

  After pulling into the driveway near the carriage house, Mattie cut the engine, then helped Liza out of her car seat. Rather than taking her home, however, she led her daughter into the museum, where June was in between tours. With her daughter in safe hands, Mattie took a deep breath for courage, then headed toward the offices to find Greg.

  With each step, all the reasons why this wouldn’t work kept whirling through her head like a cyclone. They both said they didn’t want a relationship. They shouldn’t be sleeping together while he was working for her. It was all too new and too risky.

  But the honest truth was she loved him.

  She didn’t want to be just his temporary client. She wanted him to be a permanent part of her life and she of his. And sure, things would look different once this case was over and they weren’t working together every day, but that didn’t mean things had to end. He’d go back to Baltimore, but the city wasn’t that far away. They could at least try, couldn’t they?

  By the time she reached his door, her palms were damp and her heart was racing. She raised her hand and knocked, then closed her eyes, half hoping maybe he wasn’t in there and she could get a reprieve from what felt like a firing squad.

  Nope. The door opened moments later to a frowning Greg. He glanced down at her, his brows drawn together and his expression confused. “Did I miss a meeting? Is something wrong?”

  Mattie opened her mouth, closed it, then opened it again. Say something. “Uh, no. I was, uh…hoping we could talk, maybe? If you have time. I don’t want to disturb you if you’re busy.”

  Smooth. Not.

  Her cheeks heated and Mattie prayed the floor would suddenly open and swallow her whole. But then she heard her daughter’s voice drift over from the break room, animated as she told June about her day, and it gave her courage. She swallowed hard and squared her shoulders, meeting Greg’s gaze directly. No matter how this turned out, she needed to do it. For herself. For Liza.

  “Please? It won’t take long.”

  Greg blinked at her a beat longer, then stepped back and waved her in, his expression resigned. “I haven’t found anything new yet on the case. So far, the leads haven’t panned out.”

  “I’m not here to talk about the case,” she said, swiveling to face him as he closed the door, giving them privacy. She rushed on before she couldn’t anymore. “I wanted to tell you that I’m sorry for how I acted before. I was scared.”

  “Scared?” he shook his head, scowling. “Why?”

  Say it. Just say it.

  “Because I love you,” she blurted out. Not exactly the romantic climax she’d been intending, but at least it was out there now. She held her breath, waiting while he registered that, then waited for his response. Any response at all. Something. Anything.

  But instead of falling on his knees and declaring his undying love in return, Greg turned away, cursing under his breath. “What the hell am I supposed to do with that, Mattie?”

  A bit flabbergasted, she sputtered for a moment, then said, “Well, you could start by telling me you love me too.”

  He mumbled something, then ran a hand through his hair.

  “Sorry?”

  “I said I can’t do that, Mattie.” He faced her again and now she wished he hadn’t. The hurt in his eyes and the pain etched on his gorgeous face nearly did her in. “I can’t love you. I can’t. And we should stop whatever it is that led us here too. Right now. All of this had gotten way out of hand and it’s my fault. I’m sorry.”

  Dazed, she fumbled her way backward into his desk chair and slumped down, feeling like the universe was shattering around her. She’d know his rejection was a possibility, but the reality of it was almost too painful to bear. She tried to hide it, tried to put a brave face on for him, pretend like it wasn’t a big deal, but her pain must’ve showed because then Greg was there, kneeling before her like she’d pictured in her head. But instead of saying he loved her too, he was apologizing.

  “I’m so, so sorry, Mattie. I never meant to hurt you. I…” He exhaled slowly and stared down at his feet, reached out like he was going to touch her, then thought better of it, letting his hand fall limply at his side. “I talked to my agency earlier today. Accepted a full-time, permanent position there. I’ll be accepting remote jobs from them as well, so I won’t be around Baltimore very much. They can send me anywhere in the country, depending on who hires us.”

  “Right. Okay. Sure.” Her voice sounded hollow and oddly distant, even to her own ears, brittle as old china. She looked past him, out the window, staring at that old oak tree that had been there as long as the inn stood, weathered and weary, yet still strong. Maybe stronger for everything it had endured.

  Be like the oak.

  “That’s great. Congratulations on the new position,” she said, with as much enthusiasm as she could muster. The lump of hurt in her throat threatened to cut off her words, so she hurried and forced out, “I understand. And thanks for telling me.” Then she stood and headed for the door. One foot in front of the other. “I, um, should get back to my office. Finish up a few things before I take Liza home for the night.”

  Greg stayed on his knees in front of the chair, not looking at her, his broad shoulders slumped. “I’ll swing by in a bit to go over the case and what I worked on this afternoon.”

  “Good. Great.” A few more steps and she’d be out in the hall, she could breathe again, if the ache in her chest allowed it. “I’ll see you soon.”

  Mattie closed the door behind her, then leaned against it, knowing she’d done the right thing, the brave thing, even if it felt awful. She took one breath, another, then affixed a tight smile and headed toward the break room to check on her daughter. She needed to show Liza that even if things didn’t work out the way you wanted, you kept on going. And that’s exactly what Mattie intended to do, even if it killed her inside.

  16

  After a tense, brief meeting in Mattie’s office where he could count on one hand the number of times he’d dared look her in the eye, Greg went on another perimeter check of the museum grounds. The fresh air should’ve cleared his head and helped him think more clearly, but it ended up just making him feel even shitter about it all.

  He went back inside, then started going through the place, room by room, for the umpteenth time. Keep moving, keep going. That had always been his motto, in the military and in life. Up until now, it had worked pretty well. But today, it just wasn’t cutting it. Probably because each time he closed his eyes, all he could see was Mattie’s tragic, beautiful face as he’d broken her heart.

  Because I love you…

  Man. She’d said it. Just came out with it like that, and he’d been blindsided. Not because he didn’t feel the same way about her, but because he did. And frankly, it scared the living shit out of him. He wasn’t sure what to do with a confession like that. Sure, she loved him now, but what about next month, or next year? What about when she found out that he wasn’t the wonderful guy she thought he was, that he didn’t have his life together at all, the way she thought he did? What happened when she found out the truth about him?

  Reaching over to check the lock on one of the windows, he winced as his right arm and lower back protested. Tension always made the pain from his injury worse. And he sure as hell was tense right now.

  “Have you ever had a best friend?” a small voice asked him from behind.

  Greg turned to find Liza standing there, peering up at him with interest. He hadn’t even heard her come upstairs. Marvelous. He liked the kid, but now probably wasn’t a good time for her to be around him. He felt like a caged tiger and probably looked about as rough.

  Maybe if he ignored her, she’d go away, like the stray cat that used to hang around the SEAL base in Iraq. But Liza was having none of it and dogged his heels as he proceeded around the upstairs rooms.

  “Have you?”

  “Have I what?” he asked over his shoulder, trying to blow her off, with little success.

  “Ever had a best friend.”

  “I don’t know,” Greg said, a bit gruffer, thinking it might discourage her. “Maybe. I don’t remember.”

  “Hmm,” Liza said, completely unfazed. “Do you like sports?”

  “I guess.” He shrugged, checking another window, then a camera mounted in the corner. “Why?”

  “Mom says maybe I can start doing one after school, but I don’t know which one to pick.” The little girl sighed. “What do you play?”

  Greg lifted his left shoulder, thinking maybe if he told her something, she’d stop the machine-gun questions. “Some football in high school. Baseball too. Basketball at the park on weekends, but that wasn’t really like a team or anything.” He used the key he’d gotten from Mattie’s office earlier to unlock the door to the unrestored part of the building and went back into the room they’d gone through earlier, searching again for some clue of where the treasure might be that he’d missed before. Kneeling on the floor to check underneath a table, he glanced back at Liza. “Do you like any of those?”

  “Ew. No.” Liza wrinkled her nose and waved away a cobweb from in front of her face. “Not really.”

  The air in here was musty and it was chillier too. Without the modern renovations, this section seemed cavernous and windy, like a long dormant, mystical cave. Greg scooted over to check the bottom of a dusty settee. “You should probably go back downstairs, to the break room or your mom’s office. This isn’t the place for a kid.”

  “I’m fine,” Liza said defiantly, walking into the room with him and tracing patterns into the thick dust on a tabletop. “Mom said I could join a club, but we checked and there aren’t any for kids as young as me, so…” She lifted a small shoulder. “I guess I’ll do a sport so I can meet people and make friends, maybe a new best friend.”

  Greg scoffed. “You don’t need sports for that. Or a club. People make friends everywhere.” At Liza’s forlorn look, he added. “But I suppose team sports are good because you have to work together with other people. It helps you learn more about them.”

  “Is that how you met your best friend?” Liza asked, circling around to that subject again.

  Uncomfortable, he tried to remember the guys he hung out with in school, then his teammates in the SEALs. They were good guys, dependable, loyal, but there was no one who stood out as what he’d call a best friend. In fact, when he thought about the people he felt closest too, only one face kept popping up. Mattie’s.

  Which wasn’t good. At all. And sure, she was smart and funny and kind and supportive. Honest too, and loyal and dependable and strong. She complemented his talents and worked well with him. He could talk to her, about anything, or nothing. Sometimes, they’d just sit and not say anything and that was okay too. Not to mention she was beautiful, and he was incredibly attracted to her. Basically, everything he’d want in a best friend and in a partner. For a brief second, he let himself imagine a future with Mattie, what that would be like, if he’d given it a chance. Happy and healthy and full of bright joy and love.

  But no. He’d made his choice. Now he had to live with it.

  He took a deep breath and rather than answer Liza’s question, he dodged it again. “T-ball.”

  “Huh?” She gave him a confused stare.

  “I think you should try T-ball for your sport.” With that, he guided her out of the room, then back into the newer part of the inn, locking the door behind them. “Lots of kids play and you can meet someone besides Cassie. Now, let’s go back downstairs. I’m sure your mom’s wondering where you are, and I need to double-check the security equipment at the front desk.”

  As they walked, he couldn’t help thinking that what he really needed was a break from focusing on Mattie and how he’d screwed everything up with her earlier, but he’d settle for a break from Liza’s endless, too-pointed questions.

  When he got down there though, he found Mattie leading a tour in the foyer and Greg found himself reminded of the first day they’d met. He sent Liza off with one of the volunteers, then started checking one of the camera feeds, doing his best to concentrate on his work and not the woman across the foyer, but it was impossible. From beneath his lashes, he couldn’t help watching her, so passionate and knowledgeable about this place and its history. Felt it like a sucker punch to the gut.

  As Mattie and her tour finally left the foyer for another room, Greg thought he’d got a break at last. Until a voice from behind said, “Uh-oh. Looks like someone’s heartbroken.”