“Okay, so he’s been my boyfriend.” She cringed a little at the word spoken aloud. He was more than that to her. And it wasn’t fair of her to let him do all those things, to play that role, and then act shocked when he said that he expected them to move in together before the baby was born and maybe even get married. His plans weren’t unreasonable…but were they what she wanted?

  Was she willing to give up her independence for him? That was the real question.

  “I can’t,” she whispered to the room. “I can’t do that. Not for a man who barely understands the concept of compromise and discussion.”

  If only he did, things could be different. But she didn’t think it likely that he would change, and she was unwilling to give and give and give away everything that mattered to her, like her mother had.

  She pulled her phone from her pocket and dialed Sofia.

  “Hey, friend,” Julia said when Sofia picked up. “Do you have plans for later?”

  “I’m working now, but I’ll be free after four. Do you need something?”

  Julia explained about clearing out the room to become the nursery and needing to move some heavy items.

  “Sure. I’ll come over and help,” Sofia said. “I’ve got awesome muscles.”

  Julia could guess what Sofia was thinking. Why isn’t Jake moving the furniture for his kid’s nursery? But she appreciated that her friend didn’t ask the question aloud, clearly picking up on Julia’s unwillingness to talk about it.

  “I’ll see you around five, then. Thanks.” After Julia hung up, she watched the play of light on the walls. “I think this room wants to be a nice sunny yellow.” She checked her watch. She had just enough time to make it to the hardware store to buy paint before her appointments started. That way, she’d have the paint handy for whenever she had time to use it.

  15

  It took Jake until well into the afternoon to call Julia as he’d promised to, managing to catch her between patients at the clinic. He needed to get right with her, since he felt as though the happy family he’d been imagining was slipping out of his grasp. The realization that she was still planning for two nurseries had thrown him for a loop and he hadn’t reacted well. On the drive home, he’d regretted his hasty retreat and had even considered turning back. But he hadn’t. Now he had to use the time he had with her to work this out. There had to be a way to make this all work and convince her that they should be together on his ranch. It was the only thing that made sense in his head.

  “I’ve got ten minutes,” she said after greeting him.

  “Busy day?”

  “Nothing unusual. Three dogs and four cats so far. What’s on your mind, Jake?”

  “I think we need to focus on us. No horse talk, no baby shopping. Us.” That was the conclusion he’d reached earlier in the day. It wasn’t exactly that other stuff was getting in the way—that other stuff was important, especially when it came to their kid—but with all the focus on everything else, they hadn’t spent much time outside of bed where it was just about the two of them. Jake felt he owed it to the child to have a solid relationship with Julia by the time the little girl or guy came along. “How about a date?”

  There was a pause, enough to make him worry she’d reject the idea. “A date? Could we go stargazing again? That was my favorite—”

  “I was thinking a real date. Going out. How about the country swing bar? We could dance,” he said. She’d liked dancing with him—or so it had seemed to him the night of the fundraiser at Darby Crossing. And he’d loved having her in his arms.

  “Oh, okay,” she accepted. “But maybe we could ask Brian and Caitlin and Cal and Amy to join us. A triple date. I’d like to get to know them all better, since they’ll be our baby’s aunts and uncles.”

  Not what he had in mind. He envisioned the evening as just the two of them, but he’d take what he could get with her. And if she felt more comfortable with his family, maybe she’d be more open to the idea of moving to the ranch. “Sure. I’ll make the phone calls. Tomorrow night? I could come pick you up?”

  “Yes, pick me up,” she confirmed. “I won’t leave without you this time. My patient is arriving. Gotta go. See you tomorrow.”

  Before he could say goodbye, she hung up the phone.

  Jake picked her up the next evening. She wore the red dress again, the one he’d been happy to help her out of on the night of the dance.

  “It’s the only dress I have that fits,” she admitted when she met him at her door.

  “I like it. You look beautiful,” he said.

  She ignored the compliment as she gave her dogs each a pat on the head and locked her door. “I may need some new clothes soon, roomier ones.”

  “Maternity?” he asked.

  “I’m not ready for that yet. Are the others meeting us?”

  “That’s right.” He’d had no trouble convincing his brothers and their fiancées to join them that night. As much as Jake wanted Julia alone, going with a group did take some of the pressure off. During the drive, she told him about the patients she’d seen recently, including an amusing story about two dogs who decided they were in love in her waiting room.

  Neither of them touched on anything personal. Maybe on the trip home or during the evening they’d get there. At least that was his hope when they pulled into the bar’s parking lot. The other couples were getting out of Brian’s truck, having come together, so they all walked in at the same time.

  “Whoo-hoo,” Caitlin exclaimed. “It’s karaoke night. Let’s get a table near the front.”

  So much for dancing. He’d have to find another way to be close to Julia. He took her hand as they walked to a table close to the stage, where a young man was doing a poor imitation of an Alan Jackson song. When he finished, people graciously clapped anyway.

  “Who’s next?” the bar’s manager, acting as a sort of emcee, asked over the microphone.

  Cal raised his hand, gave Amy a wink, and walked up on stage. A minute later he was singing an old Alabama love song. Cal’s attention was focused straight on Amy. No one in the bar could have doubted that she was his love. The applause was loud when he was done.

  “I suppose you want me to do that,” Brian said to Caitlin as Cal returned to the table. “I can if you really want me to.”

  This Jake would pay money to see. Brian was about the last guy to sing karaoke.

  “Not necessary,” Caitlin said with a grin. “I know how much you’d hate that. But if you’re into gestures to prove your love, you could let me tattoo something on you. Maybe something on the other ass-cheek? Hate to see that one be bare.”

  Jake had to swallow quickly to keep from spitting out his beer. His brother, the sheriff, had a tattoo on his ass? He looked at Brian, whose ears were turning pink with embarrassment.

  “You’ve got an ass tattoo?” Jake asked. “When the hell did that happen?”

  “While back,” Brian admitted.

  “What is it?” Cal wanted to know.

  Brian smiled at Caitlin before answering. “That’s personal.”

  Jake glanced at Julia who was watching the interplay between the others. She seemed amused by it all. He caught her eye. “I’m not getting a tattoo for you, but I can sing you a song.” He headed for the stage, knowing what number he wanted. It took just a minute to be queued up. The words showed on the prompter, but he didn’t need them. He knew the lyrics by heart, and began to sing a country love song by Kenny Chesney that he’d long admired.

  It wasn’t his usual choice for karaoke. On other nights, he’d gone for something upbeat or a song that got laughs. But with Julia watching, he wasn’t in the mood for anything light-hearted. He was feeling serious and the sincere, unguarded song expressed that better.

  He found Julia and kept his eyes on her as he sang, really feeling the lyrics, feeling them for her. It was almost a shock to realize how much the song expressed what he felt for her.

  Her gaze was on him, and he felt hopeful that she was feeling the same thing. Maybe he’d get his happy family after all. A surge of optimism went through him as he finished the song. He walked off the stage to thunderous applause, headed straight for Julia. When he reached her, he didn’t hesitate, but put his arms around her and kissed her.

  “Did you like it?” he whispered to her, his hands cupping her face.

  She nodded but didn’t speak. He saw a tear in the corner of her eye and took that as a good sign. They had some things to work out as a couple, but their relationship had taken another leap forward. He sat next to her throughout the evening, feeling closer to her than he had in days. This was good, this was what he wanted.

  Their relationship wasn’t fixed, and he wouldn’t push it. He could wait, at least a little while, to get everything else. So despite the closeness he felt between them, he dropped her off at her ranch and went home. It had been hard pulling himself away with just a good-night kiss, but worth it to make sure they stayed on the right track, that they held their relationship together instead of letting it splinter apart.

  A few days later, Jake stood with his hands on his hips watching one of his ranch hands exercising two colts. He wished he was pleased with what he was seeing, but the colts wouldn’t make anything more than decent rodeo horses or show horses. They could be ridden, but they were a long way from special.

  “Hey.” Brian came up next to him and leaned on the corral fence to watch the horses. The family was all gathered on the ranch for a meal that night. “Pretty pair.”

  “Looks are about all they’ve got going for them,” Jake said. The colts were bays, but not matched well enough to sell as carriage horses.

  “They…” Brian began. “I got nothing.”

  “Even you can’t put a positive spin on their future. They’ll end up as rental horses for some trail riding company,” Jake said in disgust. “Not what I breed horses for.”

  “How are your plans to make improvements going?”

  “Slowly,” he said. He’d made a deal of sorts with Julia for Twister, but it wasn’t what he wanted. “I did get an email today about a stallion for sale. He’s not as good as Twister, but better than what I’ve got. Belongs to Dad’s buddy Ed Harvey over in the panhandle. The stallion fits with what Dad and Luke would have purchased. I’m tempted, but I’m stalling a bit.”

  “What for?” Brian asked.

  “I’m waiting to see how things work out with Julia.” He was being dogged, stubborn, but he just couldn’t let it go.

  “Seemed like the two of you were good when we were at the bar. Something change?”

  “Nothing’s changed,” he bit out. “That’s the problem. I thought I was making progress, but then I went over to her place the next evening and she was painting the goddamn nursery. I want her and the baby to live here. She doesn’t need a nursery at her house.”

  “And you said that?”

  “Yeah, but since she refused to back down and I didn’t want her to do all the work herself, I grabbed a paintbrush to help her. You know what she did? She told me to leave and that she needed to paint the room herself. What the hell’s that supposed to mean?” Jake asked, but Brian held his hands up in an I-don’t-know gesture. “She’s stopped calling me, too, when she wants something. I’ve made a few late-night food runs for her when cravings hit over the past couple of weeks. Nothing lately.”

  “You’ll get more sleep.” Brian, of course, would look at the positive. A quality that Jake usually admired in his brother. Right then, it made him want to punch him.

  “Yeah, I know, and I’ve got time to focus on the ranch, but it feels like she’s pulling away. Hell, I’m surprised she agreed to come to dinner tonight,” Jake said. “I’m trying to do whatever I can to show her that I’m in this for the long run, but it’s starting to feel hopeless. Nothing I do seems to make any difference.” He’d felt so good that night at the bar, but it was all lost now.

  “Jake—” Brian tried to interrupt him.

  “Maybe it’s time I accept reality and give up on having Julia here. And that means I might as well buy Harvey’s stallion and be done with it since Twister’ll never live on my ranch. What?” Jake barked when he finished talking, trying to figure out why Brian was gesturing frantically behind them. Jake spun around and came face to face with Julia.

  She was no more than three feet away, plenty close to hear what he’d just said. The look on her face was hurt and horrified.

  “Is that true?” her voice shook when she spoke. “Have you really been trying to…trying to get Twister by convincing me to make my home here? Oh, God, I’d thought you’d given in because you’d seen my point of view. I thought you’d changed your mind about what the ranch needed, but that was all a lie. You were just biding your time and using me to get to my stallion. Why pay for the cow when you can get the milk for free, right?”

  He considered lying to her, then he thought about apologizing and trying to make it better. But dammit, he wasn’t sorry. “Not using you, just considering what would be best for both of us. I thought it was a reasonable expectation that we’d be together here, so Twister would be on my ranch.”

  “And you’d have free access to him?”

  “Right. Because you’d be my wife,” he said emphatically. That was what he’d wanted for weeks now, what he’d hoped he could convince her to accept—but she took a step back from him, almost stumbling. He reached for her, but she jerked away from him. “I’m sorry to upset you, but I won’t apologize for believing that we could have a good future together.” He heard his mother ring the dinner bell. “Let’s go eat, and we can talk afterwards.”

  “No,” she said sharply. “I can’t sit down at the table and pretend in front of your family. I’m leaving.” She turned on her heel and headed for her truck.

  Jake glanced at Brian, who jerked his thumb in her direction. Yeah, Jake had every intention of going after her, but he wasn’t sure she’d listen to anything he had to say. Inside it felt as though his world was crumbling around him. He wasn’t going to let it fall apart without a fight.

  16

  Julia strode for her truck, keeping her focus aimed forward and refusing to look back. Out of the corner of her eye, she could see Laura and the rest of Jake’s family gathered on the ranch house’s porch. Behind her, she could hear Jake’s footsteps. She picked up her pace. She needed to get home, where she could be alone, so she could calm down. If she stayed, she felt sure she’d say something she’d regret.

  She almost had her hand on the doorhandle of her truck before Jake reached her.

  “You need to stay, so we can figure this out.” Jake got between and her means of escape.

  “I don’t want to talk to you,” she said. “Not now.” Maybe not ever. She’d never felt such rage and hurt.

  “It has to be now,” he insisted.

  “Why? So you can spin even more elaborate lies? I can’t listen to that. I need to go home and think. And don’t you dare follow me.”

  “Julia, you can’t leave. Not like this.” The look on his face was pleading, but that didn’t take away from the harsh command in his voice. “We can go to my office in the barn where no one can hear us, but this has to be settled. Come on,” he said, reaching for her arm.

  That was the last straw. She stepped away, staying out of his reach. “Fine. You want to have it out now? Let’s go. Here’s what I have to say to you. I’ve been holding on to the fact that you were flexible about Twister. I wanted to see that as proof that you valued what I said and listened to me. But you didn’t, not really. I was only fooling myself to think we could have something real, that I could trust you.” She wanted to say that she’d started to care for him deeply and thought he felt the same about her. She held it in, though, not wanting to humiliate herself even further. For him, this had all been about his ranch. He’d used their personal relationship to pursue his business plan. Pain sliced through her, but she’d deal with it later. She could keep herself together by focusing on his deception and her anger. Her grief could come later. “You’re quite the actor. I was completely snowed, and all the while you were just biding your time until you got what you wanted.”

  “Julia, that’s not true,” he argued. “I listened to you. I compromised.”

  “Really?” She started ticking items off on her fingers. “We disagreed about the best way to breed horses. In the end, you got your way.”

  “You didn’t have to accept my terms.”

  “My alternative was to lose the revenue for Twister, which you know full well I need,” she said. “And that’s just part of the problem. When we go out, you pick where. The dance, the bar. Crowded, loud places that you know make me uncomfortable.” He started to object, but she held up a third finger. “You’ve rejected every baby name I’ve suggested. You won’t even consider them. You just instantly say, ‘Hell no. Not my kid.’”

  “I don’t want a kid named Louise.” His hands were on his hips now.

  “That was my great-grandmother’s name, and I happen to like it,” she shot back. “Not that my opinion ever seems to matter to you. I should have known that day you carried me into the hospital, but I’ve been trying to tell myself that your intentions were good. I did have fun on the dates, and I needed to have my ankle seen to.”

  “So I did something right?”

  She huffed in exasperation at how he still wasn’t truly listening, even now. He only seemed to hear the things he wanted to hear. “You might have made the right choice, but that doesn’t excuse the fact that it was for the wrong reason. Every time, you chose what you thought was best. Sometimes you were right, sometimes you were wrong—but you never stopped to think of what I wanted at all. I thought the horse deal showed that you had good intentions and were willing to compromise. But you never changed your mind. You just changed tactics. And I fell for it.”