She would be okay. She was strong. She’d survived plenty in her lifetime, and she could manage this sadness, although it was greater than any she’d ever experienced.

  She wasn’t leaving the relationship empty-handed, though. She carried their baby and would have the child to love even if she didn’t have the father. That was something no one could ever take from her.

  18

  Brian drove onto the Thorne ranch, taking the cut in the driveway that ended at the horse barn to avoid going to the house. He’d come for one purpose. He needed some sense knocked into him, and his twin was the perfect man for the job. Jake wasn’t sentimental, wasn’t the type to get hooked on a woman, so he’d set Brian straight in no time.

  Brian parked and walked into the barn. Jake was in a stall grooming the black gelding he often rode around the ranch.

  “Hey, grab a brush, would you, and groom Minx,” Jake said when he saw Brian come in.

  “Sure.” Brian got a bucket of supplies from the tack room and went to work on the paint horse his mother usually rode. “You and Mom go for a ride?”

  “Yeah,” Jake replied. “She wanted to see a particular field of wildflowers in bloom. I go with her every year at this time. It’s something she used to do with Dad,” Jake said with no inflection in his voice.

  “I didn’t know that.” Brian picked up the mare’s left front leg and cleaned the hoof.

  His brother rarely talked about their father. Maybe Jake didn’t need to because he lived and worked where Marshall had. His father’s essence was in the very walls of the barn. Brian didn’t think he could stand to be around it as much as Jake was. It brought out the guilt, even more poignantly. But, then, Jake didn’t carry the same burden that Brian did.

  “What brought you out from town?” Jake asked after a few minutes in which they worked in companionable silence.

  “I need you to do something for me,” Brian said. He’d been briefly lost in thoughts of wildflower fields and the connection he’d felt with Caitlin among the Golden Waves. He had to put all that behind him, and Jake was going to help him do that.

  “All right, what?” Jake came out of the stall and leaned against the closed door.

  “Tell me that I’m a selfish bastard.” Whenever he considered the idea that he could leave his job and responsibilities, that was how he felt.

  “I’m not gonna do that without a reason.” Jake studied him.

  Dammit, he didn’t want to get into the details on this. “I’m considering resigning as sheriff because I want to go to Austin to be with Caitlin, and that’s selfish behavior. So call me names and talk me out of it.”

  “You’re in love with her.” Jake’s words were more statement than question.

  “Yeah, but I was once before, and I got over it,” he said. It had been hard as hell, and this time would be worse since he knew she loved him back, but he was strong. He could do it. “Tell me to keep my ass here and do my job, okay? I need to hear it from somebody.”

  “That won’t be me, brother,” Jake drawled. “My advice to you is to go after Caitlin.”

  “What the hell? I’m not asking for much. Just say the words, dammit.” The mare shied away from him, picking up on his anger, so he left the stall.

  “It’s always been Caitlin for you, since way back.” Jake came closer and put his hand over the stall door to stroke and soothe the mare. “And that’s not going to change.”

  “Of course it will. It has to.” Didn’t anyone else see that?

  “Why? Think about it, Brian. Could you live with yourself if Caitlin or your baby needed you and you weren’t there for them? Because that’s the choice you’re making right now.”

  Brian didn’t want to hear that line of reasoning. Did Jake think Brian hadn’t played those scenarios a thousand times in his head?

  “Christ, you’re useless. I’m leaving.” Brian went to stalk past Jake, but his brother stepped into his path, blocking his way.

  “You’re one of the good guys.” Jake placed his hands on Brian’s shoulders. “And that’s great, but not when it makes you a nearsighted dumbass. Someone else can take care of this town. Or, I guess, you can hope that someone else takes care of Caitlin and your kid.”

  He hated the thought of being separated from Caitlin and the baby, but it was the only way. “She’s tough. She’ll manage on her own, and I’ll be able to help them when my schedule allows.”

  “I doubt that’s good enough.” Jake spoke in a low voice. “What happens if she finds someone else to care for her and your kid, all because you couldn’t trust anyone else to manage the sheriff’s office?”

  The thought of Caitlin with a boyfriend, a lover, set Brian’s blood boiling. Someone else being his kid’s daddy? Being there in the night to comfort his child? Imagining Caitlin sharing her life with someone else was like a knife through the heart. He needed to get out of here before he blew.

  “Caitlin’s a great woman, pretty and smart. She won’t be alone for long. You willing to let that happen?” Jake asked, tipping Brian’s temper over the edge.

  “Shut the fuck up!” Brian tried to shove his way past Jake, but his brother gripped his shoulders tightly, holding him in place. “You don’t understand what it’s like,” Brian yelled. “You’ve never been in love. It’s pure hell.”

  “I don’t doubt it.” Jake’s voice was calm despite having Brian scream in his face. “Anything that makes you, of all people, lose control must be something powerful.”

  After a minute, Jake loosened his hold. Brian slumped back against a stall door and tried to rein in his emotions. He hadn’t acted out like that since he was a kid.

  “You better?” Jake was nearby but staying out of Brian’s personal space.

  “No.” Brian scrubbed a hand over his face and struggled with the rage that was still simmering in him—though thankfully at a low boil now. “Sorry, bro. How the hell did I get myself in this spot?”

  “Don’t know, but stay there. I’ll be back.” Jake disappeared into the tack room and returned with a bottle of whiskey. “You might want some of this.”

  “Thanks.” Brian tipped it back and took a swig. He passed the bottle to his brother who drank as well. “For emergencies?”

  “Yeah, and sometimes a man just wants a drink by himself. You ready to really talk now?”

  “Guess so,” Brian said. The anger and whiskey still burned through his veins, but he was calmer.

  “All right, then. Listen to some reason. Caitlin can’t stay here with the way her family is, so she’s as stuck as you are.” Jake glanced around the barn. “I know a little about being stuck, about a place taking its toll on you, so I get where she’s coming from.”

  Brian took a hard look at his brother. What was Jake saying? That he didn’t want to be running the ranch? That he felt trapped? “Jake—”

  Jake waved him off. “We’re talking about you and Caitlin.”

  Brian accepted that for the moment, but decided that on another day he needed to have an honest conversation with his brother about the role he’d ended up with.

  “Give me the bottle, would you?” Brian took another swig after Jake handed it to him. “Why Caitlin? Why’d I have to fall for her? There are lots of nice women in town. If I wanted a relationship, it wouldn’t be hard to find a willing woman who planned to live here forever. Hell, they’re always leaving me cookies and stopping me on the street. Why not one of them?”

  Jake shook his head. “They want you because they want to bag a Thorne brother. And since you’re the good twin, they’d choose you over me any day of the week.” Jake gave a rueful laugh.

  “But that’s not Caitlin,” Brian said. “She doesn’t give a shit about status or my last name or if I’m sheriff.”

  “Yep. You don’t find that kind of love every day. Trust me on that one.” Jake’s expression darkened, making Brian wonder what was going on with his brother. Brian had been so caught up with Caitlin over the past weeks that he hadn’t seen as much of Jake as usual. He’d fix that soon enough. As soon as he resolved the situation with Caitlin.

  Brian thought about everything Jake said that day, and what Amy had said at the office. But the loudest voice in his head was Caitlin’s, asking him to move to Austin with her so they could be together. Why hadn’t he heard her like he should have? She’d offered everything he’d wanted, and he hadn’t seen it because of his worry about his job. What the hell was wrong with him? He’d let her leave. Hell, he’d packed her car for her and watched her drive out of his life when she was everything he’d wanted for so long—and was carrying the child he already loved so much, it made him dizzy.

  “I’m a dumbass,” he said.

  “Took you this long to figure that out?” Jake picked up the whiskey bottle and took a drink.

  “I’ve got to go after Caitlin.” Nothing had ever been so obvious to him. Why couldn’t he have seen that a few days ago? “I love her, and I can’t let anything get in the way of that.”

  Jake slapped him on the back. “Then get the hell out of here and go figure out how to win your woman back.”

  19

  “I’ve got something I want to share with you.” Maggie sat down across the table from Caitlin.

  “Sure, we’ve got about fifteen minutes before dinner’s ready.” Caitlin felt as though she needed to return her friend’s kindness for letting her stay at the apartment by cooking dinner. She’d made chicken Florentine, homemade bread sticks, and a Caesar salad.

  “Perfect. Let’s use this time to talk.” Maggie pulled her laptop from her bag and opened it. “I found what I think is the ideal location for our tattoo parlor.”

  “You did?” Caitlin was surprised. They’d gone to look at three storefronts in the past few days, but none had called out to them, so they’d agreed to wait until one grabbed their attention.

  “Here it is.” Maggie turned her laptop around so Caitlin could see the screen. The storefront was cute, obviously in an older downtown area with a lot of charm and some vintage details.

  “It’s pretty.” Caitlin studied the image. There was something familiar about the large front windows and the decorative architecture. She peered closer, sure that she’d seen it before, but she couldn’t place where. “Is it expensive?”

  “Nope, cheaper than the places we’ve been looking, and bigger, too. The building is narrow and deep, giving us space for the individual rooms we’ll need for tattooing and a great waiting area, too. There’s even an apartment on the second floor if one us needs to live there.” Maggie was smiling, pleased with herself, as if she knew something that Caitlin didn’t.

  “That might be me if my subletter doesn’t get out on time.” She’d agreed to a three-month sublet, but now her tenant was asking to extend that to six. Caitlin couldn’t keep sleeping on her friend’s couch with a baby on the way much longer.

  “I was thinking I’d like it,” Maggie said as she scrolled through the interior pictures so Caitlin could see them. “You’d be living someplace else.”

  Caitlin snorted. “Like where?”

  “With Brian.”

  Caitlin had tried hard not to think about him, but she spent so much time focusing on putting him out of her mind, that he was always there. She was proud of herself, though, that she’d resisted contacting him even though she’d wanted to so much. She had her first prenatal appointment the next day. When she’d made the appointment, she’d desperately wanted to let him know about it, but she’d stopped herself, which had required shutting her phone off and leaving it in the car overnight. “I don’t think that’s going to happen. Besides, it would be a long commute to work.”

  “Only a couple minutes, I think,” Maggie said. “Darby Crossing isn’t that big.”

  “Darby Crossing?” Caitlin looked again at the front of the building and recognition hit her. The building sat kitty-corner to the diner, which made it just down the street from the sheriff’s office.

  “That’s right. It’s everything we said we wanted and a little more, for a great price.”

  “But in my hometown?” Caitlin said, feeling the usual pressure in her chest she always did when she thought of living too near her parents.

  “I think we could make a go of it there. I did some research.” Maggie pulled papers from a folder and consulted them. “The closest tattoo parlor is in Carson, thirty miles away.”

  Caitlin almost smiled, guessing that parlor was the one where Brian had gotten the yellow flower tattoo on his butt. “That’s true.”

  “With the rodeo coming to town again next year,” Maggie said, “plus the customers we’ll get drawing from the thirty-mile radius, I’m sure we’d stay busy, especially when word spreads that two hot chicks create works of art there. People will flock to us.”

  Maggie made a good argument. The town’s rodeo weekend had been such a success that the plan was to expand it to three weekends and hold it annually. Thousands of people had come to the town for the event. Having enough business to be successful in Darby Crossing wasn’t the number one problem in Caitlin’s mind. Living in proximity to her family was.

  “I was thinking that you’d want to be closer to Brian if you could be,” Maggie said. “For the baby’s sake if nothing else.”

  “Yeah, that would make it easier,” Caitlin admitted, still processing the possibility and weighing how she felt about moving home.

  “And I’ve got a hankering to live where I can see hottie cowboys on a regular basis.” Maggie shot her a smile. “I don’t want to pressure you, though. If you really feel you can’t live there, I understand.”

  “I don’t know if I can or not,” Caitlin said. She thought of her issues with her parents. They’d hate the idea of her owning a tattoo parlor, especially one right under their noses, but was that enough to deter her from returning to a place where she could be with Brian? Maybe it was time to stop letting her parents dictate her decisions about what she did with her life. They were going to disapprove, no matter where she was or what she did. She didn’t have to let that hold her back anymore.

  She’d always thought she could never go home because her parents would take it as a sign of failure—that she couldn’t hack it in the city. But that just wasn’t true. Her confidence in herself was being restored. She’d gotten her money back, she and Maggie were moving ahead with their plans, and…she sighed. She had the love of a good man if she could make it work with him. Was that enough to undo the years of hurt she’d experienced?

  Probably not undo, but it might be enough to begin the healing. If Brian was willing to do the same. Her heart started to beat faster at the thought of being with him again. She knew there was no guarantee that it would work out for them. So many things were in their way, but could she commit to trying?

  Her fresh start could be in her hometown with a man she’d fallen in love with years ago. That was an odd thought, but an appealing one.

  “Brian would have to give a little,” Maggie said cautiously, making Caitlin laugh.

  “You mean he’d have to be less of a workaholic and get over his god complex?”

  “Yeah, that.” Maggie smiled. “Do you think it’s possible?”

  Caitlin didn’t know. It would take bravery and trust on her part, and a willingness to work through his issues for Brian. She felt suddenly frightened, and felt a little lost, like a child who knew that picking the right path in the forest would lead to a rainbow and the wrong one to a swamp. She couldn’t go back into that swamp again. She couldn’t bear to come second or watch their child come second.

  Could she be brave enough to risk it, knowing how much she loved Brian?

  “I don’t know,” Caitlin finally said. “I need a few days to think about it. But thank you. You just opened a door that I had convinced myself was locked tight forever.” Caitlin hopped up and gave Maggie a hug, feeling cautiously optimistic about the future.

  “I want you to take your time deciding,” Maggie said a few minutes later when they were eating dinner. “When I contacted the real estate agent, she said she didn’t have anyone else currently interested, so we have time. If we decide we want the storefront, it’s available for immediate occupancy.”

  They could be in business quickly. And it was way cheaper than anything they’d find in Austin, meaning their startup costs would be low. From a business perspective, the decision was a no-brainer. To Caitlin’s heart, the way forward wasn’t as clear, but the possibility had planted a seed of hope. It was up to her to water that seed to see if it would flourish.

  She went to bed that night and dreamed about fields of yellow wildflowers. When she woke the next morning, she wondered if it was a sign. If her subconscious had made a decision already. And whether she could trust that that was the right decision.

  It was on her mind at her prenatal appointment when she completed the paperwork and saw the doctor. The obstetrician answered her questions and she even heard the baby’s heartbeat. Tears came to her eyes when she listened to the wump-wump-wump of her and Brian’s child. She missed him so much and felt that he should have been there with her.

  She drove back to Maggie’s apartment thinking of Brian. By the time she reached the complex, she’d decided to call him. She was apprehensive about opening the possibility of her return, because what would their relationship be if it didn’t work out? She also knew that she had to try.

  She parked and walked toward Maggie’s door, past the small courtyard with a fountain and benches. Caitlin stopped short when she saw a tall figure in a Stetson standing by the fountain. Brian. Had she somehow conjured him?

  At that moment, he spotted her and strode toward her. She waited for him to take her in his arms, but he stopped a foot in front of her, disappointing her. What had he come to say?

  “What are you doing here?” Her words were barely a whisper.

  “I came to tell you that I resigned as sheriff,” he said. “I want to be close to you and our baby. So I hope your offer for us to be together here still stands.”