“But?”

  “I couldn’t bring myself to trust it. I was too afraid, just like when I broke our engagement. I let you down because of my fears. Back then, I was so scared you wouldn’t come back from a mission that I felt I needed to put distance between us. I guess I preempted the risk of you abandoning me—even if it wasn’t your fault—by breaking it off with you. It seems so silly now. We could have had that time together.”

  I remembered how I’d felt then, so justified in my actions and not thinking about what it did to him. When he didn’t respond to my messages about the coming baby, I’d been sure I’d done the right thing. How wrong I’d been.

  “We can’t change what happened,” Zach said, taking my hand, “and I’m done being controlled by the past.”

  Dale Huntly had been all the proof I’d ever need of the danger of letting the past rule your life. The past could be toxic. “We have to let it go and be in the present.”

  “The present isn’t enough,” Zach said quickly. “I love you, Carolyn. I never stopped in all the time I was away. I was angry with you, but I couldn’t help loving you. Now, though, the love I feel…when I thought I might lose you today…I never want to spend another day without you in my life.”

  If I could have planned what I wanted to hear from him, it would have been those words. I smiled at him and scooted forward on the couch until our knees were touching. “I love you, too. I tried hard not to when I thought you were ignoring your son and me. Now, I know you’d never do that. You’d never let your family down.”

  “I’ll never let you or Austin down.” He said it as though it were a pledge, and I believed him.

  “Let’s go to bed, Zach.” More quickly than I would have thought possible, he stood and lifted me in his arms.

  “Are you going to carry me up the stairs?” I asked, delighted by his actions.

  “Are you objecting?” He walked toward the steps. “I don’t want to get on your bad side. I’ve seen what you can do to a man,” he teased.

  “No objection.” I put my arms around his neck and kissed him, not stopping until we reached my bedroom. “You are one talented man to kiss me and still be able to climb the stairs.”

  “It’s my superior training.” He lay me on the bed and knelt between my legs.

  “I didn’t know that carrying women off was part of SEAL training.” I sat up to let him remove my dress, his fingers trailing up my torso and lighting little fires wherever they touched.

  “We have to be prepared for any contingency.” He touched my jaw gently, first with his fingers and then his lips, slowly coasting over the injured part before moving on to my temple, my cheeks, and finally my lips.

  I grabbed hold of his shoulders, taking him down with me to the mattress and kissing him deeply. I never wanted to stop. His hands moved over mine, removing my bra and panties, but he continued the kiss.

  “You’re talented,” I murmured against his lips. “I can’t figure out how to get you undressed.” I’d untucked his shirt, letting my hands play with his taut muscles, and managed to unbutton his jeans. But removing them in this position was a challenge.

  “Do you want help?”

  “I want you.” I nipped at his lips. “So I think I’m going to have to accept help. Roll over.”

  He did as I asked, looking up at me with a grin when I straddled him.

  “Arms overhead,” I ordered and whisked his shirt off. I placed my hands on his bare chest, feeling the ridges of muscles on his lean form. He was mine. That message beat in my brain as he stretched upward and put his hands behind his head, seemingly relaxed. All mine to play with. I traced the recent scar on his left pec, giving him a curious look.

  “Shrapnel. No big deal,” he said in answer to my unspoken question.

  “I doubt that’s true, but I’ll let it go.” I kissed the scar and flicked my tongue over his flat nipple, making him suck in a breath. I felt empowered and moved my lips over his stomach toward his open fly. I thought he’d like where I was headed.

  “Christ,” he muttered when I pushed his jeans and boxers down and took his dick in my mouth. His exclamation only encouraged me to take him in deeper. I sucked him, moving my mouth up and down on his hard length. His breathing was labored, uneven, as I twirled my tongue over his tip before plunging back down on him.

  “Ride me, sweetheart,” he gasped.

  “If that’s what you want.” I looked up, meeting his blue gaze. His eyes were hooded with desire, telling me I had him exactly where I wanted him. I dragged his clothes the rest of the way down so we could come together with no barriers—aside from the condom I grabbed from the drawer. Maybe someday soon, after we had a chance to talk about it, we wouldn’t need that barrier anymore either. I certainly wasn’t opposed to the idea of having more children with him. But now definitely wasn’t the time for a serious talk.

  I crawled up his body, kissing him as I moved, loving the way his skin seemed to ripple beneath each touch of my lips and nip of my teeth.

  "Now would be good,” he blurted out, making me smile. He called my name on a moan, and I relented, sliding the rest of the way up to straddle his hips. I positioned myself so his dick rubbed against me, and we both groaned. I raised myself up and came down on him in one swift movement, almost falling forward onto his chest. God, I loved the way he filled me.

  I placed my hands on his sides, squeezing as I rocked back and forth chasing my own pleasure. His hands went to my breasts, kneading and teasing, as I controlled my movements, enjoying the feel as he rubbed against me. I tried to prolong the moment, enjoy the ride, but he had other ideas. Bending his knees, he pushed me up before locking his hands on my hips. With sure thrusts, he began to plunge in and out, faster and faster, forcing me to hold on as my climax neared. He put one finger between us, stroking my clit, and the tightness in me began to unfurl.

  The orgasm slammed into me, leaving me breathless. He gripped my hips, continuing to drive up into me until he shuddered in ecstasy. I collapsed onto his chest, our bodies still connected, and I knew nothing would ever be better than this.

  20

  CAROLYN

  Zach looked back with a grin, offering me a hand on the steep trail as we neared the summit. We’d started early that morning, knowing the trail was best at that time of day.

  “I’ve got it,” I said, finding my footing between the rocks and tree roots. Although the trail could be difficult, I knew it well—or had two years before. When we were engaged, we’d often hiked it for the view at the top and the challenge of the ascent.

  “What if I just want you to hold my hand?” he asked, his hand still outstretched. Austin was strapped to Zach in a backpack carrier. The child happily kicked his legs and pointed out every squirrel, bird, and chipmunk as we hiked.

  “You should have put it that way.” I placed my hand in Zach’s and let him pull me up the last yards to the highest point, where a valley opened out before us. The green of late summer showed vividly on the wooded areas and in the grassy meadows. Sunlight reflected off a meandering river that cut through the valley below. “So beautiful,” I breathed, “and I think that’s a little coolness in the air.”

  “Fall’s coming,” Zach agreed. “We’ll plan to come back here when the leaves turn.”

  “I’d love that. I’m hoping the fall is calmer than the summer was,” I commented. It had been a week since the capture of Dale Huntly, a week of answering questions from the police and trying to undo the damage he’d caused to my systems. Considering the charges against him, Huntly would be behind bars for a long time and my family would be safe. I hoped he received the mental health counseling that he so clearly needed.

  “Could it be worse?” Zach turned sideways so Austin could see the flight of an orange-and-black butterfly that went past where we stood.

  “I don’t think so. It’ll be busy, though.” I’d learned some lessons about myself that summer, lessons that gave me courage to try new things. With Zach’s encouragement, I’d decided to pursue designing my own line of jewelry. Even though I had ideas for a variety of pieces—rings, necklaces, bracelets, and brooches—I planned to take it slow for now. I’d bring out just a few pieces at a time. With input from my mom, I’d selected the ones I wanted ready for the store’s grand reopening in a few weeks.

  There was still a ton of work to be done to meet the deadline I’d set. My mind turned to the store itself. My insurance company, once they were finally convinced I was the victim of arson after Huntly’s arrest, had paid up, and I was forging ahead with the redo. The display area was now gutted down to the studs to remove all vestiges of the fire and smoke damage. I stared out at the valley and trees but saw the drywall, paint, carpeting, and furnishings necessary to bring the store back to life.

  “What are you worried about, sweetheart?” he asked, seemingly in tune with my emotions.

  “The remodel,” I admitted. “It seems daunting, but it’ll come together.” I had faith in that. “The new windows will be installed tomorrow. That’s a big step.”

  “No more plywood?” he teased.

  “Thank goodness. I want the exterior to start looking decent again. The inside’s going to take a little longer.” I wanted to get my employees back to work as soon as I could, too. “I think I might be foolish for going with the same look again, but I’m hopeful that the third time’s the charm.”

  I’d considered changing the interior design, but I liked the modern look of glass and chrome that would be dazzling again once the work was complete. I had decided to add more of the vibrant blue accent color this time, though, since people seemed to like it.

  “Just because things didn’t go as planned with it the first two times is no reason to give up,” he said.

  “Didn’t go as planned?” I laughed at his understatement. “If someone had told me that my summer would include robbery, arson, and three grand re-openings, I’d have wondered if they were on something.”

  “Was the summer all bad?” His tone was much more serious now, as the topic shifted from the store to us.

  I studied the way the sun glinted off his dark hair and brightened the blue of his eyes. No, it hadn’t been all bad. Parts of it were just plain wonderful, but there were questions to answer before we could move forward.

  “Were you going to look me up?” I asked him, matching his serious tone with my own. It was a point I’d wondered about since Zach came back into my life. If he hadn’t been called to the hostage situation at the store, would he have attempted to contact me? He’d been out of the Navy for just weeks when I first saw him. He could have easily deduced I could be reached at All That Sparkles and called me there. Was he planning to?

  “I told myself I wasn’t going to. That you’d decided it was over between us, and that I needed to respect your decision. But my biggest fear was that you’d moved on. I didn’t want to see you with some other guy.” He squeezed my fingers. “It kept me away, because I don’t think I’d have handled it well.”

  “I was with another guy.” I nodded to where Austin, looking so much like his daddy, still watched the butterfly.

  “So you were. You’re a great mom, Carolyn. Austin’s a lucky kid.”

  “Even luckier now that he has both of us.”

  I’d come to understand in the past few weeks that I was enough for my son, for Zach, for my family. The self-doubt left over from my tainted relationship with my father evaporated as I realized how much the people who truly loved me wanted to be there for me, to help and support me. I didn’t always have to be strong or perfect in order to earn their love or attention. They were always going to be there for me, no matter what. The summer’s events had taught me to let go of the past and embrace the present while I worked toward building a future. So, no, the summer was definitely not all bad.

  “I hope I measure up as a parent,” Zach said. “I’m trying.” Like me, Zach hadn’t had a good father figure until the Admiral came into his life, so he was working his way through the fatherhood thing. Quite well, I thought.

  “Seriously?” I smiled at him. “Look at you. Your son is strapped to your back as you take him on an adventure. What could be better?”

  “Being there for him and knowing how to love him.” His reply came out quickly as he acknowledged his fears.

  “You’ve got those down. We both do,” I said, “but I think we better let him play for a bit so he doesn’t get restless on the way back.” I lifted Austin from the pack, keeping a firm grip on his hand. When Zach took our son’s other hand, the pieces of my life settled happily into place. This was all I needed. Almost all. I stole a glance at Zach. I could think of one more thing, but would Zach offer me marriage a second time? Or would he be content with the arrangement we had?

  I told myself to be patient. A little more time, and maybe…

  Zach

  I stooped to put three white roses on the Admiral’s tombstone—one for myself and one each on Alex and Colin’s behalf. Their leave had ended and they were both back overseas, but I knew they were with me here in spirit, to honor the Admiral on what would have been his eightieth birthday. He’d served his country for more than four decades and shared his final ten years with three wayward boys, seeing us change from incorrigible youths to young men with promise and opportunities.

  Even though he’d died four years before, I felt a connection with him as a friend, father, and guide in life. I still remembered the Admiral’s advice and words of wisdom. One of those moments kept coming back to me. The Admiral had insisted that I would one day be so happy with my life that the injuries and grief of my youth would no longer matter. I remembered popping off that that was bullshit. I hadn’t believed a word of it at fifteen, when I bore the heavy weight of the physical and emotional scars of my abusive father and a mother who’d abandoned me.

  But these past weeks with Carolyn and Austin had changed my perspective. I was happy in a way I’d never been. Happy to see my son’s smiling face, happy to put my arms around Carolyn. Happy for every moment in her beautiful home, a home built for a family.

  “You old geezer,” I said aloud. “You knew so much. I wish you could meet my son.” The Admiral had understood what it meant to be a dad, even if he’d come to it late in life.

  I snapped to attention and saluted the tombstone. “Wish me luck, sir. I’ve got to ask a woman a very important question.” I walked away, feeling the ring box in my pocket.

  After consulting with Charlotte and Faith, they’d agreed with me that I should offer Carolyn the ring from our first engagement. Her sister had insisted that Carolyn loved that ring, but Charlotte’s suggestion that I modify it in some way got me thinking.

  I’d smuggled it into Charlotte’s hands the day before. All That Sparkles’ jewelry technician polished the pear-shaped diamond and inset small pearls on the platinum band. It was the same ring but with an important change, one that made it unique to who Carolyn and I were now as a couple.

  Up ahead, I saw Carolyn and Austin where they’d waited for me so I could have privacy at the Admiral’s grave. I felt myself rushing to get to them. When she smiled at me as I approached, I felt so damn happy.

  “I think Austin is going to be a naturalist,” she declared. Our son did love being outside and around all sorts of wild creatures. “There goes a cardinal.” She pivoted away from me to point out the bird that flitted from branch to branch of a pine tree. “Isn’t it pretty?” she said to Austin.

  Her action gave me time to take the jewelry box from my pocket, open it, and drop to one knee. I was going to do this right.

  “Oh,” she gasped when she turned back to me, looking between my face and the ring. She was so beautiful. I had a brief moment of thinking I didn’t deserve her, but it passed at the expectant look she gave me.

  “I did this once before, but I’m a better man than I was then,” I said. She shook her head in disagreement, but I went on. “I promise to be the best husband and father I can be. I’ll always be there for you and Austin—and maybe another child, if we’re so lucky. You’ll have my love and commitment forever if you’ll marry me.” I paused before finishing with one more sentence. “Carolyn Evert, will you be my sweetheart, my bride, my wife, my love?”

  “I will,” she said, her voice steady as she extended her hand for me to slip the ring on. She studied it for a second before bending toward me and touching my cheek. “I’ll love you always, Zach Vale. I never stopped, you know. I couldn’t.” She kissed me then, her lips warm and soft against mine. Behind her Austin giggled and clapped, making Carolyn laugh. “I think our son says yes, too.”

  “Good, because he’s part of us and part of this moment. The pearls,” I said, knowing she’d understand the significance of the jewels I’d had added to the ring.

  “June’s birthstone to represent Austin’s birth month.” Tears glimmered in her eyes, and I knew I’d done the right thing. “That is so…perfect.”

  “I love you, Carolyn. I know not every day will be perfect, but if we’re together…” Words no longer expressed what I needed to communicate. I picked up Austin, holding our son in one arm as I pulled Carolyn to me with the other. I was as happy as the Admiral had said I would be as I held the two most precious people in my life close to my heart.

  END OF RESCUING CAROLYN

  SPRINGWELL SERIES BOOK FOUR

  BLURB

  I’ll be honest. My childhood sucked. Drunk father. Missing mother. So I’ll be damned if I don’t give my adopted daughter the best possible life and—someday—the best possible mom.

  For now, I’ll have to settle for the best possible nanny. And that is definitely not Lily Rhodes. She’s too flighty. Not nearly responsible enough to be a mom.

  Then again, she is great with my daughter.

  And I do like having Lily around. She’s hot. And I’m not dead. But for my little girl’s sake, I need to find someone steady. Dependable.