“Did you leave any for the rest of us?” she asks.

  “Yes, there’s plenty,” I reply.

  “Thank god. I’m starving.” She steps fully in the room with a heavy sigh of relief and heads straight for the cabinet to pull down a plate before joining us.

  Lucia wipes her mouth and sets her napkin on the table. “Enzo and I should probably get home. We both need to get cleaned up and changed.”

  “Can I give you a ride?”

  For a moment it’s like she’s going to reject the offer, but instead her lips curl up slightly. “I’d like that. Thank you. I just need to find our bags, and we’ll be ready whenever you are.”

  “I think Mother put them in Jack’s old room. It’s where she had me take other guests’ things,” Caitlín says, covering her mouth with her hand and pointing in the general direction of upstairs.

  “Do you mind watching Enzo while I take Lucia up there to find it?” I ask my sister.

  She leans over and lightly tickles his neck, and he giggles adorably, his laughter infectious. “We’ll be just fine, won’t we little man?”

  “I stay Auntie Catwin,” he says.

  Lucia stands and presses a kiss to the top of Enzo’s head. “I’ll be right back.”

  Caitlín waves her hand. “Take your time. We’re not going anywhere. Oh, but if we do, it’s just for a walk in the back garden. You’ll find us out there if we’re not here. It’s too nice outside to be stuck in here. Isn’t that right, Enzo?”

  He nods. “Outside. Pway.”

  “See, there you go. So, you know, do whatever you two want to do up there.” She stares at us both and smirks.

  My gaze darts to Lucia, whose cheeks are flushed. I grab her hand and start tugging her out of the room barely controlling my laughter. “Come on. Let’s get your bag.”

  Caitlín calls out in a sing-song voice behind us. “Take your time.”

  By the time we make it to the living room, we both burst out laughing, Lucia’s with an embarrassed edge to hers. “Oh my god. I’m never going to be able to look at your sister again.”

  “You better get used to it, because she’s always like that,” I tell her.

  “Do you think that means she heard us last night?” She stops in the middle of the room, her gaze wide and horrified.

  I don’t want to make Lucia uncomfortable, but I also don’t want to lie to her. “I’m going to guess so. But she was the one who let Enzo into your room this morning. I woke up to find him sitting in the middle of the bed. He said she brought him in. I’m just glad I was covered with a sheet.” I shudder at the thought of my little sister seeing me naked.

  “Oh, dear. Do you think anyone else knows?”

  I wince. “Honestly?”

  Lucia scrunches up her face. “Everyone in the house knows, don’t they?”

  My head bobs. “Pretty much. But the good thing is, it’s only Mother and Da.”

  She covers her face and groans. “Your parents probably hate me. Who has sex in someone else’s house? In your sister’s bed?”

  I smother my laughter, because I’m sure she won’t appreciate it. “I’m sure they don’t hate you. We’re both grown ups. It’s okay if we have sex. It’s not the worst thing any of us boys have done in our bedrooms.”

  Lucia’s head jerks up at that. “What?” she screeches.

  My shoulders rise and fall. “My mother raised three teenage boys. I can guarantee she knew what we were doing all those times we locked ourselves in the bathroom and in our rooms. Even if all of us never, ever want to think about it.”

  “Is that what I have to look forward to? Never mind”—she holds up her palm—“I want to remain blissfully ignorant.”

  Reaching for her hand, I chuckle and lead her up the stairs with me. “Come on, mama, let’s go get your bag so we can take our son home. There’s only so much corruption he needs to experience from Caitlín in two days.”

  My son. Our son. I glance at Lucia. Can I really let him go? Can I let either of them go?

  Chapter 21

  Lucia

  * * *

  Rory’s eyes bug and she nearly chokes on the drink she just took. She coughs a few times, clearing it, until finally she manages to speak. “You slept with Nathan? At my wedding?”

  I fidget on the couch next to her and wring my hands. My lips twist. “Technically it was after the wedding. After the reception, even. Sort of.”

  “You slept with Nathan?” she parrots herself.

  “Yes. Now would you please stop asking me that. It just happened.” I twist my palms up innocently. “Enzo had fallen asleep, so we ended up staying the night. Nathan went with me to check on him and then we talked. I told him about Michele. About how after he died, I promised myself I would have nothing to do with the organization.”

  Rory’s expression shifts to concern, all signs of disbelief erased. “What did he say?”

  “He thinks Michele would want me to move on.”

  “What do you think?” she asks gently.

  I stand abruptly and pace her living room. “I don’t know. Michele loved me. He did. But there are times when I think he loved the syndicate more. He was born into it. Just like Nathan. Yes, we have chemistry. We have sex. Great sex. And I care about him. More than I thought I would. More than I should.”

  “That’s not a bad thing, Luce.”

  I pivot to stare down at her. “I could see myself falling in love with him. He’s funny. Kind, even though he didn’t have to be, especially when he found out I kept Enzo from him. And he already loves his son.”

  Rory leans forward and grabs my hand, pulling me back down to the couch. “How does he feel about you?”

  “I think he cares. But that doesn’t mean he cares more about me than his entire family.”

  She sighs and swivels to face me. “You are my best friend, Luce, but I’m going to say something you’re not going to like. I think you’re being a little selfish.”

  I flinch and rear back in pain. “What?”

  “I’m not trying to hurt you, but you’re going to push Nathan away because of what happened to Michele? Make him choose between his family and you? Between his family and his son?” Rory pauses as I still reel from her words. “Three years ago, Alessandro almost killed me. No one’s time on this earth is infinite. What if I’d been too scared to let Jack into my life? Do you really want to spend the rest of yours alone, when you have a chance to be happy? To have someone love you. To love them. We both know love is scary. Wasn’t it you who told me not so long ago that loving someone is fucking terrifying, but that the rewards far outweigh the risks?”

  “I said that, huh?” I laugh through the tears that slowly fall and she nods. “Who knew those words would come back to bite me in the ass? Since when did you get to be so smart?”

  “Since I met Jack. If you care about Nathan in the least little bit, then you have to try. Not just for Enzo’s sake, but for your own.”

  I throw my arms around her and sniffle. She returns the embrace. “You’re right. It is selfish of me. I’ve only been thinking of my own feelings. My own fears.”

  We hug a moment longer and she pulls back. “I’m not saying you two have to get married. But at least give him a chance.”

  “I will.”

  “Good.”

  The doorbell rings and Rory and I glance at each other. “Are you expecting anyone?”

  She shakes her head and rises from the couch. “No. Jack didn’t tell me anyone was coming by, either.”

  I stay seated while she goes to the door and opens it. She bends down and picks something up. “That’s weird. It’s for you.” She passes over the pale pink envelope. My name is scrawled across the front it in a familiar, messy handwriting. No. My body shakes.

  “Luce, are you okay?”

  With a trembling hand, I reach out. All feeling leeches out of me. I’m cold. Numb. Not again. Black spots dance in my vision and I suck in the breath I’d been holding, filling my lungs with much needed oxygen. Rory is speaking to me, but it’s staticky. Muffled. I can’t tear my gaze from what’s in my hand. There’s a whooshing noise in my head.

  “Lucia,” Rory yells, her face appearing directly in front of mine. I blink and she comes into focus. Fear radiates off her.

  “I don’t want to open it,” I murmur.

  “I’m calling Nathan.”

  Yes, call Nathan. I sit, trembling. The envelope falls from my fingertips and flutters to the ground, where I leave it. I don’t even want to look at it, but I can’t draw my gaze away. I stare at the thing lying there like it’s a snake about to bite me. Mumbled voice surround me, until finally, I blink.

  Rory bends down to pick it up and I nearly shout at her to leave it, but I bite my tongue until I taste blood. She places it on the side table, out of my vision. I scoot back into the corner of the couch and draw my knees up to my chest and rest my chin on them. She comes and sit beside me again.

  “Nathan is on his way.”

  I nod jerkily and pull in a shuddering breath. “Fuck, I never thought I’d see another one of those things again.”

  She glances over her shoulder. “Is that from…him?”

  “I’d recognize that handwriting anywhere. How did they know I was here, though?”

  “I don’t know, but Nathan and his brothers will figure it out,” Rory says with certainty.

  Time passes slowly while we wait. Inside, my heart races and that nauseated sensation keeps swirling around in my gut. I have to keep swallowing to stop from vomiting. The front door slams open and I scream, trying to scuttle farther back into the couch despite having nowhere to go.

  “Lucia,” Nathan yells, his gaze locking on mine.

  Tears that have dried spring forth. I whisper his name and then I’m in his arms, breathing in his scent, taking in the warmth that thaws the cold that has been encasing me since that letter arrived. I sob for minutes—hours—until finally they subside. Nathan pulls back and palm my cheeks, his thumbs swiping away the wetness from my cheeks.

  “Are you okay?” he whispers.

  I grip his wrists and nod. “I am now that you’re here.”

  He stares at me another moment as though gauging the truth and then pivots on the balls of his feet toward Rory, whose waist is circled by Jack’s arm. “Where is it?”

  She holds it out and he rises and takes it from her. I stand and remain behind him, looking over his shoulder, biting my thumbnail. If I could ignore whatever’s in that envelope I would, but a compulsion draws me to know what it says. Nathan tears it open and unfolds the note inside. From this distance, I can’t make out what it says, but he curses using the foulest words that make Rory blush.

  “What does it say?” I ask, forcing the question out.

  He shakes his head and gives both the envelope and letter to Jack who also swears while scanning it. “I’m not reading this shit to you. You don’t need this stuff living inside your head.”

  Old, independent me who hasn’t needed to rely on anyone in almost a decade would bristle at being kept in the dark. But the me who’s coming to realize that leaning on someone doesn’t mean I’m weak appreciates that Nathan doesn’t want to burden me with whatever is written there.

  So, instead of protesting, I merely nod.

  “I’m going to call Emilio,” he says, pulling out his phone.

  While he and Jack disappear through the entryway and into the dining room, I drop back onto the couch, with Rory following me. She clutches my trembling hands folded in my lap. God, I’m so cold again. All I want to do is crawl into bed with Nathan to keep me warm and safe while I shut out the world and all thoughts of whoever this psychopath is.

  “It’s going to be okay,” Rory assures me.

  The kernel of anger inside me grows though. I’m so tired of being afraid. Tired of waiting for this guy to show up on my doorstep. I’m not sure I trust my brothers to continue keeping my whereabouts entirely private.

  Nathan’s raised voice spills in from the other room, but I can’t make out the words. Then it’s quiet. Moments later, he and Jack return. The former’s face is red with rage. It pours from his eyes. His whole body vibrates with it. His gaze lands on me and he takes a deep breath.

  “I’m taking you to my house. I want you and Enzo to stay there until we end this. Call your boss. Cancel your flight,” he commands.

  Maybe later, I’ll change my mind, but for the moment, I don’t want to go back to England. Not yet. Not until I feel completely safe. What if that never happens?

  My phone rings in my purse, and I nearly jump out of my skin. With shaking hands, I drag it out. My gaze meets Nathan’s. He’s here. It’s going to be okay.

  “Hello?” My greeting comes out stronger, less shaky, than I expect.

  “Lucia, hi, it’s Val. I was just calling to cash in that dinner raincheck.”

  My stomach dips. I completely forgot about him. “I’m sorry, I don’t think it’s going to work this trip. Things have been hectic with the wedding, and well, it’s just not going to work out.”

  He’s silent on the other end. Did he hang up? Then he sighs. “I understand. I was really looking forward to getting together. Maybe I can come visit you sometime? When your schedule is more open?”

  “That would be nice. I’ll call you when I get home and we can arrange something.”

  Nathan takes a step forward.

  “Where’s—”

  “I’m sorry, Val, I have to go. I’ll be in touch.” I end the call. A pinch of guilt hits my belly at how abruptly I cut him off, but I can’t deal with anything at the moment.

  “You okay? Who was that?” Nathan asks.

  I nod. “I’m fine. It was a friend of mine I ran into a few days ago. We were supposed to grab dinner tonight. I’d forgotten all about it. I’m not up for it anyway.”

  He palms my cheek. “I don’t want you out of my sight until this situation is taken care of anyway.”

  I’m not sure I want to be out of his sight. “I’m ready to go.”

  Nathan jerks his head and releases me. I grab my purse and reach out to hug Rory. “I’ll call you later.”

  “You be careful,” she whispers in my ear.

  I step back and lift my hand in a small wave and move closer to Nathan. He’s the only person who makes me feel safe.

  Chapter 22

  Nathan

  * * *

  This mother fucker is dead. I don’t care how long it takes me to find him. When I do, he’s going to beg me to put him out of his misery. The need to destroy something—him—festers in my gut.

  I walk Lucia out to the car, her trembling body only making my fury burn hotter. I need to pull myself together before we go to my parents’ and get my son. There will be no mistaking the hatred that nearly consumes me and I don’t want him to see that side of me.

  We stop at the hotel first.

  “Don’t park it,” I tell the valet. “We’ll be right back out.”

  I walk Lucia up to her room and help her pack up their things. Fifteen minutes later she’s checked out and we’re in the car again heading to Bay Ridge. She remains quiet, but at least color has returned to her face. The helplessness that had spread through me when I walked through Jack’s front door and spotted her on the couch—terrified—is not an emotion I’ve dealt with before. No matter how many raids I’ve been on or dangers I’ve faced. Even after Eoin’s death.

  “I won’t let him hurt you,” I vow. “He’s fucked with the wrong person.”

  She turns toward me, a thread of fear still lingering in her eyes. “What are you going to do?”

  My hands grip the steering wheel tight with the need to strangle the bastard. “I’m going to draw the piece of shit out from wherever he hides. And when he appears…I’m going to kill him.”

  Lucia swallows and nods. There isn’t a single word of protest from her. Maybe because she knows my decision is made and there is no talking me out of it. Whoever this coward is, he’s terrified her for the last time. Finally, we pull in front of my brownstone. I grab her things from the trunk and take them inside while Lucia walks quietly beside me.

  “You and Enzo can share Jack’s old room if that’s okay. I’d give you your own, but we all had a floor to ourselves and I know you don’t want to be that far from him,” I tell her.

  “No, that’s fine. I’d rather he be close to me. I’m not sure I want him out of my sight.”

  Setting her bags down inside the door, I pull her to me and cradle her face between my palms. “You’re both safe here. I swear it.”

  Lucia grips my wrists. “Thank you. For everything.”

  “I don’t think there’s anything I won’t do for you. Heaven and earth, Lucia. Remember that.” The truth of that rushes over me. I want this woman and I’ll do whatever I need to, to have her.

  She nods shakily. I stay a moment longer, looking into her eyes before I release my hold. “I’ll show you to your room and then I’ll take you to my parents’ while I meet with Emilio.”

  I pick up her luggage again and we head up the stairs.

  I press the button on the elevator to take me to the twentieth floor. I’d hated leaving Lucia, but I need to figure out how to get this fucker to show his face. The bell dings and the door slides open. I don’t admire the view I usually pause for. Instead, I head straight to the office down the hall.

  I rap sharply on it, and within moments it opens. Even the sight of Pierce doesn’t give me the same trepidation. I stride past him without a word and cross the floor, coming to a stop before Emilio’s desk. Like the last time, Jack, Paddy, and Gio are present, but I don’t give them more than a passing glance. My full attention is on my brother-in-law.

  “Have a seat,” he directs with a hand gesture.

  Bristling at the gruff command, I hesitate.

  “Please,” Emilio adds drily.

  Slightly mollified, I sit stiffly in the leather chair. “Did you have anything to do with whoever ran me off the road the other day?”