“Shut the door behind you, please,” I call just before she walks out.

  Delilah does as she’s told, just as she does in bed, and closes my door. I sigh heavily and scrub my jaw roughly. What the hell am I supposed to do now? I can’t get rid of her; she’s great at her job, and I need her. There has to be a way for me to work with her without constantly thinking about kissing her or fucking her. As of right now, though, I am blind to it.

  ♫♩♫♩♫♩♫

  Delilah

  I frown down at the text message that just came in, shaking my head in disbelief. Dammit! I am already dressed, Charlie is on her way over, and now Nico is cancelling on me, again. That’s two Saturdays in a row now, with no explanation, and I don’t know what to think. Has he just had some things come up, or did I do something and he doesn’t want to see me anymore? His texts during the week have also become few and far between, making me think it’s the latter - that he just doesn’t want me anymore. Maybe he found another woman that he likes better than me.

  My emotions are all over the place. I’m hurt, angry, and disappointed. Then to top it all off, Nick has been acting strange, too. He has become distant and short with me. He barely spoke to me this whole week, and I don’t know what to think about that, either. Does it have something to do with his “perfect match” chick? Is he getting tired of me? Did I do something wrong? Is he planning to fire me?

  Charlie suddenly appeared next to me. “Hey, chica. You ready to go?”

  I jump and scream at the sight of her, pressing my hand over my pounding heart. “Jesus, Charlie! When did you get here?”

  “About a minute ago,” she says with a shrug. “Are you ready?”

  “I’m not going. Nico cancelled on me again,” I mutter, dropping down to sit on the end of my bed.

  Charlie frowns down at me. “Really?”

  “Yeah, I think it’s over.” I sigh.

  “No, don’t say that. Maybe he’s having personal problems that you don’t know about,” Charlie says reassuringly and sits down next to me.

  I shake my head. “No, I can feel it. He’s done with me and moving on to the next woman. This was only supposed to be a one-night stand anyway. I don’t know what I was thinking letting it go on for this long, and letting my feelings get involved.”

  “LaLa, you don’t know for sure,” Charlie says, patting my thigh.

  I sigh heavily, trying to let Charlie’s positive attitude overpower my negative, but it’s not really working. I feel like my life is falling apart - first my mom dies, now Nico is dumping me, and Nick is probably going to fire me. I can’t stop the tears that suddenly well up and start spilling over.

  “Aw, LaLa, don’t cry,” Charlie murmurs and pulls me into her arms.

  It’s too late to stop it, so I grab onto my best friend as I cry my eyes out. And it’s one of those ugly cries that you can only do in front of your mom or best friend. But I don’t have a mom any more, and the sobs continue to rack my body. After a few minutes of letting it all out, I feel completely empty. After the last few weeks, I can’t even believe I have any tears left to shed. I quietly extract myself from Charlie and head into my bathroom. I blow my nose and remove my makeup. Going back into my bedroom, I change into a pair of yoga pants and a baggy t-shirt; all the while, Charlie sits on my bed and frowns at me.

  “You can still go if you want to, Charlie. I’m going to go eat a tub of ice cream and watch TV,” I tell her as I head out into my living room.

  Charlie follows me. “I’m not going if you’re not.”

  I shrug. “Suit yourself.”

  I go into my kitchen, open the freezer and pull out a carton of Rocky Road. After shutting the freezer, I grab a spoon and go back into my living room, where I plop down onto my couch and grab the remote. I turn the TV on and flip through the channels to try to find something worth watching. I stop on the DIY network to watch Holmes on Homes, one of my favorites. No one can work a pair of overalls like Mike Holmes. I open my ice cream and dig in.

  “Do you want me to stay?” Charlie asks quietly.

  “If you want to, but don’t expect me to be much fun,” I answer around a mouthful of chocolaty goodness.

  Charlie disappears, returning seconds later with a spoon. She flops down next to me in her little purple dress and shoves her spoon into my drown-in-your-sorrows ice cream. I stare at her as she sticks a spoonful of Rocky Road into her mouth, her attention on the TV. I just snort to myself and shake my head. That’s my Charlie.

  ♫♩♫♩♫♩♫

  Nick

  My weekend sucked ass and I have no doubt that the rest of the week is going to suck ass, too. I feel like a complete dick for cancelling on LaLa - I mean, Delilah – for a second time, but I just couldn’t meet up with her, not while knowing who she really is. I show up for work on Monday in a shit mood. I take my coffee from Delilah without a word, go into my office, and shut the door. I set my bag down next to my desk and drop heavily into my chair. I glance up as I roughly scrub my hand over my jaw to see Delilah watching me warily through the window. Shit. She probably thinks I’m mad at her or something. I sigh and wave her in. Delilah stands and opens the door, popping her head in.

  “Yes, Nick?” she asks quietly.

  “Come in and sit, please,” I say, taking a deep breath and letting it out quickly.

  Delilah does as she is told, as expected, and waits patiently as I build up my courage and push away my pride. “I’m sorry, Delilah,” I say softly.

  Delilah frowns hard. “For what?” she asks somewhat nervously.

  “For being such an ass lately. I’m just having some personal issues. I don’t mean to take them out on you,” I say sincerely.

  Delilah lets out the breath she was apparently holding. “Oh, thank God. I thought you were going to fire me.” She breathes.

  It’s my turn to frown at her. “What? Why would I do that? You’re the best secretary I have ever had.”

  Delilah smiles slightly. It’s the first smile I’ve seen on her in weeks. “Thank you,” she says, “I really needed to hear that right now.”

  “Why? What’s going on?” I ask warily.

  “Oh, it’s nothing you’d want to hear,” she answers, waving a dismissive hand.

  “Try me. Maybe I can give you a different perspective,” I say. Why the hell am I trying to get her to talk to me? I’m supposed to be distancing myself from her.

  Delilah lifts her eyes and looks into mine. I really miss looking down into those hazel beauties of hers while I... Focus, Santino! “I just…I was seeing this guy, and I thought everything was going really well, but he just cancelled our last two dates we had set up and he kinda stopped talking to me.”

  I swallow hard. That’s not what I thought she was going to talk about. “So, forget about him. He’s obviously not worth your time,” I say, trying to tell her what she needs to hear.

  “But everything was going so great. I just don’t understand what went wrong or what I could have possibly done to push him away. I really thought I was falling in love with him,” Delilah says sadly.

  Love? Did she really just drop the L-bomb? I try to swallow but my mouth has gone dry. How could she possibly be falling in love with me? I mean Nico. She has never even seen his…my…oh, what the fuck! My face! Nor has she ever heard my voice. How can she be falling in love with someone simply by talking to them through text messages and emails, and fucking them once a week?

  “Love? Really?” I croak. “What do you love about him?”

  Delilah shrugs. “It’s hard to explain. It’s the way he touches me. God, I can’t believe I’m even telling you this. He’s gentle and affectionate and he seems genuinely interested in me, or he was.” She sighs deeply, unable to make eye contact.

  “Is he a good looking guy? I mean, are you attracted to him?” I ask curiously because she hasn’t said anything about my looks yet. I always figure that’s what women look for most in a guy – rich, handsome face, and a rock hard body.

  Delilah shrugs one shoulder. “Yeah, of course, but that’s not what draws me to him. Like I said, it’s hard to explain. We have this…connection. He tries to come off strong, but I know that it’s all an act, that he is actually pretty vulnerable. And we seem to have meaningful conversations, and share deeply personal stuff easily. I find myself needing to be there for him, to help him, to love him. I can’t wait until the next time we are together, while we are together. If that’s not love…” she trails off, looking defeated.

  I sit there in silence, digesting everything she has just said about me, even though she still doesn’t know she’s really talking about me.

  Delilah then laughs bitterly and shakes her head. “I’m such a fool for thinking that I could land a guy like that. He probably just got tired of me and has moved onto the next piece of ass without even a thought in my direction.”

  Her self-deprecation ignites my anger. “Hey! Don’t talk about yourself like that. It’s his loss if he can’t see how great you are,” I say before realizing that I am talking about myself. Dammit, I am an asshole.

  Delilah shrugs again as if she’s not convinced then gets up and heads for the door. “Call me if you need anything,” she mutters before leaving and shutting the door behind her.

  I stare at the back of her head as she sits down and starts working on whatever is in front of her. Love. The word keeps echoing in my head. My heart flutters at the thought that she is, strike that, was falling in love with me. I still don’t understand how it’s even possible, but right now, that doesn’t even matter. What matters most is figuring out the answer to the million-dollar question… am I falling in love with Delilah?

  The day just drags on, and I don’t know how much more of this I can take. Delilah has been in and out of my office all day, leaving me with wafts of her delicious scent. She looks completely miserable, and the urge to pull her into my arms and kiss away her pain is becoming almost unbearable. I hate that dejected look in her eyes, and I hate even more that I’m the cause of it. Thankfully, she doesn’t know that, yet. I don’t know what to do because she will inevitably figure it out. And I don’t want to be around when she does. I mean, I do want to tell her who I am, but then I will have to face questions that I am not ready to answer. Questions like, “Am I falling for her, too?” Because if I am honest with myself, I’d say yes - I’m not, though…honest, that is - I’m a lying bastard and plan on staying that way.

  I spend the next few hours torturing myself, but let’s face it, I deserve it. Later that afternoon, the intercom on my phone beeps and Delilah’s sweet voice fills my office.

  “Nick, Calvin is here,” she says.

  I look up from the file on my desk to see Calvin standing in front of Delilah’s desk, smiling his normal flirty smile. How did I miss the big black dude walking up? I should have at least seen him out of my peripheral. Damn, I’m really out of it today. I get up from my desk, button my suit jacket, and head out to greet Calvin. My true intention, clearly, is to get him away from Delilah as soon as possible. She is feeling self-conscious about her break up with, well, me, and she could fall prey to the attention of another good-looking man. This will no doubt set me off. No rebounding with Calvin on my watch.

  However, what he did next was so devastating, so calamitous, so catastrophic, that I don’t think I will ever forgive him. He smiles when he sees me and takes a couple steps toward me, meeting me right next to Delilah’s desk. He gives me a man hug, clasping hands and bumping my shoulder with his. He then says the dreaded words that will forever haunt me.

  “Nico, my man, where were you Saturday?”

  I swear to God, time froze. My heart stopped and I thought my breakfast was going to come back up. I slowly turned my head to look at Delilah. I found her staring at me in utter shock. Someone please kill me! I am in so much trouble right now.

  ♫♩♫♩♫♩♫

  Delilah

  I know I didn’t hear Calvin right. He did not just call Nick – Nico. He did not just ask Nick where he was on Saturday. The same day that Nico and I meet, the same day that Nico cancelled on me. I am staring at Nick when he slowly turns his head to look at me. The guilty look on his face answers my question. Nick is Nico, and he knows that I am LaLa. Sonofabitch!

  “Whoa, what just happened?” Calvin asks, noticing the shift in the atmosphere.

  “What did you just call him?” I practically growl.

  “Uh…Nico? It’s his code name at my club. You know, Club M,” Calvin says in confusion.

  “Delilah…” Nick starts but I cut him off.

  “You knew?” I ask, quickly getting to my feet.

  “Not the whole time. I swear!” he replies, wide-eyed.

  “Aw, shit.” Calvin breathes and hangs his head as he realizes what just happened.

  “That’s why you cancelled on me the past two Saturdays, isn’t it? You knew!” I snap angrily. “How did you find out?” I demand.

  The pained look on Nick’s face did nothing to cool my rage. He betrayed my trust and I will never forgive him for this.

  “It was your tattoo. I saw it on you when we met a few weeks ago at the club. Remember, I pointed at it? Then at your apartment that following Monday when I stopped by, after we kissed,” Nick answers quietly.

  “You knew all this time and didn’t say anything to me?” I shriek.

  “I didn’t know what to do, Delilah, I was confused!” Nick says almost pleadingly.

  Suddenly, my earlier confession comes back and slaps me across the face. I gasp and cover my mouth with my hands. “I told you this morning that I was falling for…Nico, who is really… you, and you still couldn’t find the common decency to tell me,” I hiss.

  “Delilah, please…I’m sorry,” Nick groans.

  “No! I don’t want to hear your stupid apology! I trusted you! I gave myself to you for two months! I did things with you that I’ve never done with anyone! I told you things that only my best friend knows. How could you deceive me like this? How could you come in here every day for the past three weeks, knowing that I’m the one you have been sleeping with, knowing how hurt I have been from losing you, and still not fucking tell me?” I scream at him not caring who hears, my fists clenched at my sides.

  Nick just stares at me, stunned. His eyes are wide and his mouth is parted, but he says nothing. I can feel the tears building, but I will die before I cry in front of him about this. I turn around and grab my purse and sweater before turning back to Nick. He is still staring at me, but now his expression has changed to something close to defiance.

  “Tell me this. Why should I have told you? It’s not rocket science. You could have figured it out if you really wanted to,” Nick sneered. “The only thing hiding me was the mask across my eyes. You’re gonna tell me that you didn’t notice similarities between Nico and me?”

  I gape at him. “Of course, I noticed! I’m not blind! And don’t try to turn this around on me and act like it’s my fault! You knew for sure, had it confirmed, and still didn’t tell me!”

  Nick crosses his arms over his chest and stares down at me almost in boredom. What a fucking dickhead! His arrogance is so infuriating that I am tempted to slap him across the face or stomp on his foot with my heel.

  “You know what? You are not the man I thought you were. I quit and LaLa says to tell you that she’s dumping your sorry ass,” I snap and shoulder past him as I start for the door.

  Well, that got his attention, and boy did he change his attitude pretty quickly. “No, Delilah! Wait!” he calls as he starts after me.

  “Save it, Nick. Or is it Nico? I don’t want to hear anything you have to say,” I mutter flippantly over my shoulder.

  He grabs my arm from behind and spins me around, his bright green eyes showing all of his pain and guilt. Good, he deserves to suffer.

  “You can’t quit, Delilah. I need you,” Nick whines, closing his eyes and lowers his head briefly in defeat.

  I scoff. “Is that the reason you didn’t say anything? Is that why you want me to stay? Because you need your precious secretary? Well, you can go fuck yourself, you selfish bastard!” I say, tearing my arm out of his grasp and run for the door.

  “What? No! That’s not what I meant! Shit! Delilah! That came out wrong!” Nick yells down the hall at my back.

  I flip him the bird over my shoulder and shove the door open, praying to God that he doesn’t follow because I can’t hold back these tears any more. I quickly race to the elevator and jab the button until the damn thing opens. I hit the button for the first floor, and then the button to close the doors. Just as the elevator doors close, I see Nick’s distraught face appear. I can hear him call my name through the doors. Nothing he can say or do at this point can fix this. I cup my hands over my ears to block out his voice. Finally, the elevator starts to move and my heart shatters into a million pieces as the tears finally fall.

  ♫♩♫♩♫♩♫

  Nick

  I bang my head on the elevator doors a couple of times. Idiot! Fuck, how could I have been so dumb? Did I really think she would never find out? I sigh heavily and push away from the elevator and start back toward my office.

  “Nick? Nick, what happened?” Carmella asks in concern as I pass her desk.

  “Delilah just quit,” I mutter.

  “What? Why?” Carmella asks, stunned.

  “Because I’m an asshole,” I reply before starting down the hall toward my office.

  As I get closer, I can see that Calvin is waiting for me, his hands shoved into his pockets, a sad look on his face. I spread my arms out and give him an incredulous look.

  “Dude! What the fuck did you have to go and call me Nico for? What happened to anonymity?” I bark at him.

  Calvin lifts an eyebrow at me. “Man, how was I supposed to know that she didn’t know? I thought you guys were doing some kind of secret role-playing shit.”