We sat in silence again for a few minutes. There wasn’t really anything to say.

  Finally, Addison sighed. “I guess we should call the family.”

  I nodded.

  “I really don’t want them to come to the hospital right now.”

  I nodded again.

  “Do you think we could tell your mom and she could make all the phone calls? I don’t think I can handle calling my parents.”

  I nodded one more time.

  “Say something, Jason,” she begged. “I don’t like it when you’re silent like this.”

  I opened my mouth and then closed it again as I pulled her closer to me. I sighed. “I’m so sorry, Addison,” I finally whispered.

  “Sorry?” she asked, looking at me with a confused expression on her face. “Why are you sorry? You didn’t give him leukemia.”

  I shook my head, eyes filling with tears again. “I don’t know why I’m sorry. Because I don’t want you to have to go through this again. Because I’m your husband, and I already know I won’t be by your side all the time while you sit in the hospital room with him.” She began stroking my cheeks with her hands. “Because I feel like there should be something I can do to fix this, and there’s not. I can’t fix this, Addison, and I feel guilty because that’s my job as your husband. That’s my job as his dad. I’m supposed to fix this.”

  “Oh, baby,” she said as she wiped the tears that had fallen off my cheeks with her thumbs. “That’s how we all feel right now. We all feel out of control and restless and like there’s something else we should be doing. But there’s noth—Jason, look at me,” she interrupted herself, moving her head around to make eye contact with me again when I looked away. When I finally looked at her again, she continued. “There’s nothing any of us can do. Except hope and pray and follow doctor’s orders. And be honest with me when you don’t feel strong so I can help hold you up, too,” she finished with a small smile.

  “I’m supposed to be the strong one,” I whispered. “I’m supposed to be holding you up.”

  “That’s not what marriage is, babe. We have to hold each other up. My weaknesses are your strengths. My strengths are your weaknesses. Remember?”

  I nodded, knowing she was right. I had to trust her with my feelings, too. I felt myself relax now that I had gotten some of it off my chest. I took a deep breath and wiped my face of all the moisture. “Thanks, babe. You’re right.”

  “I’m sorry, I’m what?” she joked.

  “Don’t push it,” I said with a small grin. I grabbed her hand and kissed her knuckles, grateful once again for this strong, amazing woman who had chosen to be by my side for the rest of our lives.

  As we started to settle back into silence, there was another knock on the door and the curtain was pushed open.

  “Okay,” Bri said as she walked in with an orderly. “You guys ready to head back upstairs?”

  We nodded and stood up, still clasping hands, prepared to help each other through the next stage of this nightmare.

  I pushed open the hospital room door and quietly dropped my bag next to the small bathroom. The only light on in the room came from a crack in the bathroom door. Addison and Jaxon were both sleeping, and I didn’t want to disturb them. But after spending three days in Chicago, I was ready to be with them again.

  I made my way over to the recliner Addison was asleep in and leaned over, hands on the armrests, and kissed her forehead gently. She stirred and opened her eyes, looking up at me.

  “Jason,” she breathed with a smile, wrapping her arms around my neck and pulling me down for a deeper kiss.

  “Mmmmm,” I moaned quietly. “I missed you so much,” I said, still kissing her.

  “I think I hate away games,” she said as she kissed me back.

  “Me too.” After a few more minutes of getting reacquainted with my wife, I finally pulled away to rub my hand across her belly. “How are all my babies doing?”

  “Depends on which one you’re asking about.” She shifted in the recliner to get more comfortable as I sat down on the chair next to her.

  “Let’s start with the easy one. How’s this little man?” I leaned over and kissed her belly.

  “Busy,” she answered as she stroked her fingers through my hair.

  “He keeping you up at night?” I kept rubbing her stomach, hoping he would kick hard enough that I could feel him.

  “Nah. Mostly after I eat. Especially if it’s sugar.” She giggled.

  I smiled. “I see that sweet tooth is finally back.”

  “Hey, what baby wants, baby gets.”

  I smiled at her, enjoying having a small moment of normalcy before addressing the more serious side of things. “How’s Jax?” I asked, looking over at him as he slept. His face was starting to look too thin.

  She sighed as she started rubbing her own stomach.

  “Same. Fever comes and goes. Chemo makes him throw up. Same ol’ same ol’.”

  I sighed and grabbed her hand. I hated having to leave town so often during all of this. Actually, I hated having to leave town so often in general. But it was just that much worse this season.

  “And how are you holding up?” I asked as I stroked her knuckles and played with her fingers. “Did you leave this room at all while I was gone?”

  “Um…” she said, crinkling her nose, pretending to ignore my question.

  “Addison,” I reprimanded. “You know it’s not good for you to stay here all day every day. You need to get out and get some fresh air, too.”

  “I know, Jason,” she said defensively. “But I don’t want to leave him alone.”

  I raised an eyebrow, challenging her. “You’re telling me Mick or my mom or even Samantha wouldn’t come sit here with him for a couple hours while you go take a shower and get some sleep at home in a real bed?”

  “I know, I know,” she said with a grimace as she rolled onto her side. “It’s just not the same when you’re not here, okay? I promise I’ve been taking breaks to walk around the halls. And your mom has been keeping me stocked on ‘pregnancy food,’ as she calls it. So I’m okay.” She grimaced again and couldn’t seem to get comfortable.

  “Addison, what’s going on?” The way she kept holding her belly was throwing up some red flags. “Are you in pain?”

  “It’s not really pain,” she said with a grunt. “He’s just so active he’s been hurting me a lot today.”

  “Explain hurting.”

  She rolled her eyes. “I’m not in labor, Jason. I know what that feels like.”

  “Well, what does this feel like?”

  “I don’t know how to describe it. It’s just a deep pressure, really low in my belly. I’m sure it’s normal for a second baby.”

  “Uh huh. And how’s the bleeding.”

  She wouldn’t look me in the eye when she said, “Fine.”

  “Addison…”

  She sighed and shifted her body again. “What, Jason? There’s nothing we can do, okay? Just drop it, I’m fine.”

  But as soon as the words were out of her mouth, she froze, and the look on her face said otherwise.

  “Addison, what’s wrong?”

  “Um…I…” Her eyes went wide as she looked at me. “Can you help me to the bathroom?” she whispered.

  I reached my arm around her and helped lift her under the shoulders. As soon as she moved, she groaned.

  “What? What?” Something was very wrong now.

  “That’s not right. It’s not supposed to hurt like that. Jason, something’s wrong.”

  I immediately reached over and slammed my hand on the call button above Jaxon’s head, hoping I didn’t wake him up in my panic.

  “Is everything okay, Addison?” Bri’s voice said over the intercom.

  “Bri, it’s Jason. I need a wheelchair in here now. Something’s wrong with the baby.”

  I heard the intercom click off as I put my focus back on my wife. Within seconds, Bri came racing in with the wheelchair. “What happened?” she asked, going into full nurse mode.

  “I…I don’t know,” Addison said. “I’ve been hurting more than normal today, but just now it started—oooooh,” she groaned.

  “Oh yeah,” Bri said as she helped me get Addison in the chair. “She needs to go to labor and delivery right now. Do you need me to come with you?”

  “NO!” Addison said abruptly. “I need you to stay with Jaxon, Bri. Please! Please don’t leave him.”

  “Ok, I’ll do that,” Bri said, reassuring her. “Go now, Jason. I’ll call up there and tell them what’s happening.”

  As we rushed through the halls and made our way onto the elevators, Addison just kept talking. “It’s too early. This can’t be happening. He’s only twenty-four weeks. He’s not big enough yet.” I never responded. What could I say? It was too early. But I didn’t have time to think too hard about it. As soon as the elevator doors opened on the labor and delivery floor, and we got to the registration desk, a nurse met us and hurried us into a room.

  She was a young Asian woman with glasses. Her straight black hair was pulled back into a ponytail, and she looked like she was no-nonsense when it came to her job.

  “Let’s get you into this gown and then we’ll get you checked out,” she said, handing it to Addison. “Can you get dressed on your own, or do you need help?”

  “I think Jason is gonna have to help me. I’ve been in some pain today. Can I use the bathroom while I’m in there?”

  “Not yet,” the nurse answered as she headed over to a laptop and opened what looked like a medical program. “Let’s see what’s happening first.”

  The bathroom was a lot bigger than the tiny one in Jaxon’s room, so we were able to both fit in there without a problem. It took longer to get her undressed than normal because she would have to stop every once in a while when a pain took over. When I helped her slip her panties off, I froze.

  There was blood. So much blood.

  “Addison,” I said slowly. “Baby.”

  She looked down, and her eyes widened. “That must have been the gush I felt when we were arguing,” she whispered and caught my gaze.

  “It’s okay,” I said calmly, then continued on with the task of getting her in the hospital gown. “We’re already here. The doctor is on her way. It’s gonna be fine,” I said, trying to reassure myself as much as her. I tied the back of her gown and kissed her on the forehead. “Everything is fine, okay?”

  She nodded, and I led her back out of the bathroom and into the bed.

  After answering a whole list of questions about when the pains started and how her bleeding had been for the last couple of weeks, the doctor finally walked in the door.

  “Well, you two are the last people I expected to see tonight,” Dr. Plunkett said as she sat down on the rolling stool and rolled herself down by Addison’s feet. “I’m glad I was already here delivering a baby.” She took a look at the monitors above the nurse’s head, squinted her eyes as she looked at the data. “When did you start feeling pain, Addison? Scoot your bottom down this way so I can check you.”

  “Um…yesterday, I guess?” she said as she maneuvered her way down the bed.

  While they got situated, the nurse wrapped some sort of a monitor around Addison’s waist. A few seconds later, we heard the sounds of the baby’s heartbeat.

  “Well, that’s a very good sign,” Dr. Plunkett said as she adjusted a sheet over Addison’s legs and did whatever it is doctors do down there.

  Addison grimaced, and I grabbed her hand.

  A few seconds later, it was over. “Okay,” Dr. Plunkett said while taking off her gloves and heading over to the sink to wash her hands. “It seems that you are in labor.”

  “What? It’s too soon!” I said in a panic.

  “Which is why she’s going to be staying here with us for a little while,” she said as she dried her hands and threw the paper towel away. “We’ll give you a small dose of magnesium to try and stop the labor, but we’ll need to monitor you for a while. However, that’s not the part I’m the most worried about.”

  Addison and I looked at each other, and I grabbed her hand. It struck me as kind of ridiculous that we were getting so used to getting bad news that it became a habit to grab hands and brace ourselves for the worst.

  “You’re dilated to a four.” Addison’s head dropped to her chest. I wasn’t quite sure what that meant, but I knew it wasn’t good. “I’m not sure why you’re having this issue, being that your last pregnancy was normal. But I suspect you have a weak cervix.”

  “Is that what’s causing the labor?” I asked.

  “That’s probably a good part of it. And the stress of everything else is exacerbating it.”

  I sat back and sighed again.

  “Normally, under the circumstances, I wouldn’t be able to say this, but you guys are so lucky you were already at the hospital when this happened. When a cervix fails, it happens rapidly. Most women don’t make it to the hospital before the baby is born. We have a good chance of helping him stay put now, which is exactly what we want.”

  “I’m on bed rest for the rest of this pregnancy, aren’t I?” Addison finally asked.

  “I’m afraid so,” the doctor said, patting her knee. “We need to do an ultrasound first though, to see whether or not you’ll need a cerclage to keep your cervix intact, but I’m not gonna give you false hope. You’re probably looking at getting the procedure done by this afternoon. I want to get your labor under control first.”

  As she and Addison chatted more, I started running the logistics in my head. If Addison was on bed rest, I needed to make sure Jaxon had someone at the hospital with him during the day when I was at work.

  The sleep is going to be terrible, but I will, of course, be the one spending the nights with him. I have to see if my mom can maybe make up a schedule for the family to come stay with him when I’m out of town. Addison will need me, too, so maybe I can split my time between home and the hospital.

  “Jason.”

  And the diagnostics team needs to know that any information they give her needs to be on an “as-needed” basis to help keep her stress levels down. I need to call Adam, Judy, Coach Ramiro, Addison’s mom…

  “Jason!”

  “Huh,” I answered, finally stopping long enough to realize Addison was talking to me.

  “I said, why don’t you head back over to Jaxon’s room for the night. It’s not like I’m going anywhere.” I looked around and realized we were the only two people in the room. I had spaced so hard, I didn’t see anyone else leave.

  “Are you sure?”

  She cracked half a smile. “Yeah. I’d rather you be there with him than here with me. I’ll text you if anything happens.”

  I nodded and stood up, kissing her softly. “I love you,” I said as I started rubbing her belly. “I love both of you.”

  “We love you, too,” she answered. “Now get out of here before you tempt me to go back to his room myself.”

  “Yes, ma’am,” I joked as I made my way toward the door. “I’ll be back later this morning to check on you.”

  She smiled and blew me a kiss as I walked out the door.

  My mind started racing again as I walked.

  I should probably wait to call Mom until she’s awake. I’m off tomorrow, so there’s no use in waking her up now. There’s nothing that can be done right now anyway. I should hire someone to do all the cooking and cleaning at home while Addison’s on bed rest. That way I know she’s getting fed, and there is someone there in case of an emergency. Maybe Vanessa knows someone. I think one of her sisters or cousins or someone’s husband got laid off. Maybe they need the money. If Vanessa trusts them, I can trust them…

  I was so exhausted from being on the road and because of how late it was, but I couldn’t shut my brain down. The feeling was overwhelming.

  I walked into Jax’s room to find Bri sitting next to him, e-reader open in her lap. She looked up as I walked in. “How’d it go?”

  “Mandatory bed rest for the remainder of the pregnancy,” I answered as I plopped onto the recliner Addison had been sitting in just an hour before.

  “Early labor?”

  “Yep.”

  “Giving her magnesium?”

  “Yep.”

  “Too much stress?”

  “Yep. And a weak cervix that is already dilated to a four.” I rubbed my hands over my eyes, glad that she was a nurse, and I didn’t need to explain everything in detail to her. I’d be doing enough of that when the family started getting calls.

  “Are they doing a cerclage?”

  “Ultrasound first to decide. But most likely.”

  She took a deep breath before speaking again. “I know my specialty is pediatric oncology. And I know that there is nothing good about having a child hospitalized for treatment, but in this case, I’m really glad he was here. If you’d been at home…”

  “I know. That’s exactly what the doctor said.” I leaned over Jaxon’s bed and started stroking his bald head as he slept.

  “In a roundabout way, Jaxon sort of saved his brother’s life tonight.”

  I smiled. “You hear that, buddy? Even while you’re sleeping, you’re a superhero. Just by being you.” I kissed him on his forehead and settled back into the recliner, opening it up so I could stretch out. My legs still hung over the edge, but it was better than nothing.

  “I’ll let you get some sleep,” Bri said. “I’ve got some coffee to drink and some charts to update.”

  “Yeah, what are you doing here, anyway? You don’t usually work overnights.”

  “His regular night nurse is on vacation, and I don’t like the nurse who took her shift,” she said, stretching. “I’d rather pull an all-nighter or two on my days off than listen to Jax complain about how awful she is.”

  I chuckled. “Well thanks for that, Bri. We appreciate you more than you know.”

  She smiled and ducked out of the room, leaving me to my son and my thoughts. It took a couple hours for my brain to finally wear itself out. But it finally did, and I fell into what was arguably the worst night’s sleep of my life.

  I hated away games with a passion. I’d never hated them before. Not like this. But I hated them now.