When we got to the pavilion, where we were all going to enjoy some catered barbecue for dinner, we bypassed the line and made our way over to the ladies. It was talent show night, so several guests were able to visit. Addison and Vanessa were invited.

  I saw baby Matty before I saw Addison. Even at six months old, he looked so much like Jaxon it was amazing. The only real difference was his hair. It was the same shade of brown as Addison’s. Jaxon’s, however, had changed.

  Once his chemo was finished and his hair started coming back in, it was dark. Very dark, like mine. Addison and I joked that it just made our family more color coordinated. Jax took after me and Matty took after her.

  I jogged up to the two of them as Deuce took off for Vanessa and Trace. I swooped Matty into my arms, tossing him into the air.

  “Hey, little man,” I said, giving him kisses all over his chubby cheeks as he squealed and grabbed at my ears. “I miss you, buddy. Are you ready for daddy to come home?” He patted my cheeks and smiled the bright grin he had so obviously gotten from his mama.

  “I think we’re all ready for daddy to come home,” Addison said, putting her arms around my waist.

  “Mmmm,” I growled in her ear. “Don’t say things like that, woman, or I might have to skip the clinics tomorrow and show up at that fancy bed and breakfast you’re staying in so I can introduce you to some of my better tackling moves.” I kissed her forehead as she giggled.

  She knew I wasn’t kidding, though. Once Matty was born, the countdown was on for me. I had anxiously awaited that six-week appointment clearing Addison for “activities.” The day the doctor gave us the all-clear, I drove straight to Deuce’s house, handed Matty over to Vanessa, and took Addison home, where I had my way with her until it was time for her to nurse again.

  I had spent most of my life thinking sex was just sex. But my mother had been right all along…there was something special about that connection with your spouse. I couldn’t describe it. I couldn’t explain it. And I wasn’t going to try. But I did make it a point to connect with her every single day until we left for camp. I even convinced her to lock the bedroom door at night so we could get busy. It was a wonder we hadn’t gotten pregnant again, yet.

  Needless to say, I never had to explain wall sex to Jaxon. And the wall got quite a workout several times. There were advantages to being my size and having to work out every day for my job.

  Just then, I saw Jaxon making his way over to us. He still wasn’t one hundred percent back to normal. He got winded easily and took naps during the day. He spent a good chunk of his day at camp being pushed in a wheelchair as they made their way to activities. But every day he was gaining strength. Enough so that he was looking forward to starting back at school. Apparently a year of tutoring was long enough, even for someone like Jax.

  “Mom! Matty!” he yelled as he reached for his brother, immediately making funny faces to make him laugh. The two of them were practically inseparable at home. Being nine and a half years apart, we never expected them to be so close. But the age difference had some advantages. Jax never got jealous of the baby, and Matty always had someone to dote on him.

  I was a little worried about when they got older, though. No telling what kinds of trouble they would get into together at some point.

  “Are you having fun at camp, Jax?” Addison asked. She had resigned herself months ago to the fact that when it came between her and Matty, Jaxon went to Matty first. Every single time.

  “It’s so fun, Mom!” he said, using his hands to emphasize everything he said. “I learned how to shoot a bow and arrow today! And then went in a canoe! And the other day I rode a real horse, Mom. A real horse! It was huge!”

  “Sounds like it was worth being away from home for the week.”

  “Oh yeah! We even get to have a big ol’ food fight tomorrow! Where we throw Jell-O and whipped cream at all our friends and our counselors. Can you believe that? I can’t wait to come back next year! Will you come back, too, Dad? Will you? Please?”

  I ruffled his hair as I handed Matty back to Addison. “I’d love to,” I said. “I’ll have to check on training camp first, ya know.”

  This year, it had worked out that camp ended five days before we had to report to California. So we decided to make a family vacation out of it. Addison and Vanessa were staying at a swanky B&B a few miles away for the week while Deuce, Jaxon, and I stayed in cabins at camp. Once Saturday rolled around, we would head back to Dallas and spend a couple days taking the boys to Six Flags and the Dallas Zoo.

  It was a short family vacation, and we were staying in our own house, but after a week of camp and Jaxon still recuperating, we needed to be close to home. Plus, Addison and I agreed that Camp HopesALot was important. Not just for Jaxon, but for us, too. We’d been where all these kids’ parents had been. Our priorities and our outlook were completely changed. As long as we could support it in some way, we would.

  When she sat down at the picnic table to finish eating, I kissed the top of her head again. “I’ll be right back. I’m going to get my plate.”

  She nodded at me, then shifted her attention back to the boys who were playing peek-a-boo, Matty on her lap and Jaxon standing next to them.

  As I got in line, I couldn’t take my eyes off my little family. We had been through the ringer over the past year, and we made it through together.

  I was in awe of them and how much strength they had. And they didn’t even realize it.

  Addison cared for both of them without thinking twice and pushed through a hard pregnancy to give them both the best chance of survival possible.

  Jaxon caused us to be in the right place at the right time, saving his brother from a severely premature birth.

  And Matty surprised us by coming into our lives at a point when most people wouldn’t want to have another baby. And bringing with him the one thing we needed to save Jaxon from a terminal illness.

  They weren’t perfect. But they were mine.

  They were my superheroes.

  And they would forever be my Hart.

  The End

  For eight years, I was a volunteer at a camp similar to Camp HopesALot. These camps are real places doing real work for real children with very real cancer. They are wonderful camps where children who have had any kind of cancer can convene with other children who have been there and who “get it.” Some even allow a sibling to attend as well.

  During my time at camp, I was privy to overhearing discussions about the changes in their hair after chemo, to kids learning to feel comfortable walking outside without a hat on to hide their bald head, to grieving their lost friends in a safe environment.

  I have seen some of these kids grow up, get married, and live successful, happy lives. I have also seen some of these kids never make it to adulthood.

  The experiences and friendships I made during my eight years left a mark on me that has changed the way I feel about childhood cancers.

  One of these wonderful camps is Camp iHope. Camp iHope is completely self-funded and relies on donations to stay up and running every summer. If you are so moved, please consider making a donation to them. You can get more information at http://www.campihope.org/donate.html.

  Also, the need for potential bone marrow donors is great. If you have never considered joining the registry, please, please consider doing so. It is free to be a donor—all medical costs will be covered at no cost to you—and you can change your mind at any time. Although I hope you don’t.

  Donors between the ages of 18 and 44, and especially donors of mixed race, are highly sought out. There is no guarantee you will ever be called to donate (I’ve been on the registry for over fifteen years and have yet to match anyone), but each additional potential donor increases the chances for the recipient in need.

  For more information, check out http://bethematch.org.

  This was a very, very difficult book for me to write. Not just technically, but emotionally as well. So there are quite a few people I need to thank along the way.

  KRISTIN SHELDON…I cannot thank you enough for sitting down with me that January afternoon at Starbucks, hearing the storyline I had running through my head, and giving me every piece of information I needed to make the medical parts work with the story parts. You were VITALLY important to getting this endeavor off the ground. Of course, then you threw your cute baby at me, smothered me in her baby pheromones and promptly got me pregnant. But whatever. I can overlook that part since you helped me so much…. :)

  TIFFANY PLUNKETT-YANCICH…Some of my best memories are of watching campers chase after wheelchairs, goats trying to bite my fingers off, and dressing up like fools…all for the sake of a good time. I cherish those memories with you, friend! Thank you for reading over a book you may never have picked up otherwise and making sure all the medical stuff jived with reality. And especially for understanding why this book was so very, very important to me. Keep doing the good work you are doing and you know I support you guys 100%!

  BRIANNE AND KRISTINA…From campers to counselors. From children to adults. From campers to friends. It has been my pleasure to watch you two beat childhood cancer and grow into beautiful, married women with careers. I’m so very, very proud of you both in more ways than you will ever understand. Brianne, I will always think of you as my mini-me, whether you like it or not. I’m old, so I’m allowed. And Kristina… you kicked cancer’s ass once. You can do it again. I believe in you and am praying you through!

  KAREN LAWSON…I can never thank you enough for sharing your heart and your experiences about the time your own child went through chemo. Your insight into the emotional side was possibly the most important piece of this puzzle. I told you before I started, if I couldn’t do this story justice, I would never publish it. You helped me make it as realistic as possible. So thank you! Love you, friend!

  MEGAN KAPUSTA…You are always the first to read for me and always the first to get back to me. You see things I don’t and have a knack for making sure my timelines are always spot on! Your eye just amazes me sometimes. And your reliability always calms me down when I start stressing about getting things done. You are INVALUABLE to me! I cannot thank you enough!

  DAWN L. CHILETZ…I honestly don’t know how we get it all done. Reading, writing, beta reading, editing, formatting, publishing, marketing…the list is endless. Thank you for your valuable feedback and the endless stream of PM’s. Even when I disappear in the middle of the conversations because something comes up. Just knowing you are behind me is huge for me.

  SARA NEY…Yes, you are a pain in my ass. But mostly, I just adore your face. Sometimes, all I need is for you to drop an f-bomb at me and tell me something stupid to get me back on track. And you understand that more than anyone else. Plus, you jumped up and helped me out SO MUCH when I was stressing. I cannot thank you enough for that. Now stop blaming me for your accidental porn subscription. That was all your own fault.

  AE WOODWARD….Just….thank you. Your words give me confidence and make me feel like I can do this. So…thank you.

  THE “REAL” LINDSAY…Hey, you didn’t totally suck as a beta reader this time! I’ll turn you into a real book nerd yet!

  MURPHY RAE…I don’t really know what to say that hasn’t already been said. You rock as an editor. You rock as a cover designer. You rock as a friend. You just rock. And I can’t imagine ever going through an endeavor like this without you.

  JULIE TITUS…Beyond your ability to format books, thank you for just being you. Your demeanor is so very calming when I can’t remember dates or timelines. Thank you for answer the same questions over and over and over for me because my brain kept falling apart.

  KRISTIN DELCAMBRE AND MEGAN GUNTER…My final line of defense. You two are freaking amazing. A-MAZ-ING! Thank you for your critical eye and seeing things others miss. It’s always a good sign when your formatter says, “This is one of the cleanest books I’ve formatted in years.”

  BRENDA ROTHERT, KATHRYN PEREZ, COLLEEN HOOVER…My writing mentors. My writing friends. Just thank you for supporting me through this book and through this pregnancy. None of it has been easy so thank you for all the grace you have given me and the friendship you have offered.

  BABY BUG…Dude. You threw this project off track by making me so sick for so long. But buddy, the hormones came at the right time. I was able to feel and express things I wouldn’t have been able to otherwise. And as bitchy as I am about it, I really am looking forward to meeting you and snuggling you and finding out if you are, in fact, a ninja or just like pretending to be multiple times a day. Remind me never to give you sugar. You’re already hyper.

  MY KIDS AND HUSBAND…With the first book, you threw me a bone so I could try something new. With this one, you supported me 100% and encouraged me and helped me. I know I spend hours on the computer. I know it’s frustrating. But know this…it is all for you guys. Everything I do is for you guys. We’re not a perfect family. But we’re MINE. And that’s the most important thing to me.

  THE “REAL” DR. DON BATES…You will probably never read this book. You will probably never know a character is based on you. But you were my very first experience with childhood cancer. I watched you, as an elementary schooler, fight your battle with leukemia. I watched you win. I watched you grow to become one of the best pediatric oncologists in the country. Me and my family prayed relentlessly for your health when I was a child. While I didn’t completely understand what was happening, the experience changed me. Your character is based on you to honor you and your desire to take your experiences and use them to help other children. To that, I say, “Well done.” I hope to never have to be in a situation like this. But if I do…I am coming to you first.

  FINALLY…THE CAMP KIDS AND PARENTS…You all inspired this story. I can never adequately express how much you all mean to me. It would be impossible for you to understand how your strength and fight changed me to my core. Thank you. This story is in honor of you.

  M.E. Carter didn’t set out to write a book. She just had a random story rolling around in her head after working with her local PTA. Then one day, it became all-consuming and had to be written down. This should come as no big surprise since she has always had random stories rolling around in her head and even wrote an episode of CHiPS at age 11. (She was the guest star, of course.)

  She lives in Texas with her husband and three children, Mary, Elizabeth and Carter. Get it? ;)

  You can follow her on Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/authorMECarter, on Twitter at https://twitter.com/AuthorMECarter, or email her at AuthorMECarter@gmail.com.

 

 

  M.E. Carter, Hart to Heart

 

 

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