“Probably because it seems to happen all the time,” I corrected, laughing.

  “Assembly complete,” Asshole announced. I turned my attention to the wall as it slid open, eyes widening and heart leaping when the contents were revealed.

  “It looks perfect,” I said, stepping into the assembly closet and picking up the guitar. A classic acoustic six-string, it felt great in my hands. Closing my eyes, I strummed it lightly.

  “It sounds good, too,” Matt said.

  I opened my eyes, smiling. “Now we have a band.”

  “Rock on.”

  Shaq buzzed on my shoulder, reflecting my excitement. I slung the guitar over my shoulder and we headed from the assembler to the kitchen.

  “I really hope this works,” Matt said. “This is more important than the guitar.”

  “No it isn’t,” I replied.

  “Blasphemy.” He pushed back the sleeve of his shirt, revealing a gold watch underneath. “She’ll be here in a few minutes.”

  “Asshole, gimme a pizza, extra cheese,” I said.

  “Did someone say pizza?” Asshole replied, his accent a little more refined thanks to my tuning. “One pie with extra cheese coming right up.”

  “You got the voice commands right,” Matt said.

  The assembler hadn’t contained a profile for pizza, so I had needed to go into the source code to train it to make the food, and to understand a request to assemble it. That consisted of breaking down the ingredients, finding matching recipes already in the databank, and merging them together into the design. Thankfully, pizza was a relatively simple construct.

  “One pizza, get it while it’s hot!” Asshole announced, the aperture spinning open. The smell wafted out immediately, making my mouth water.

  “Two for two,” Matt said, sliding on a pair of thick cloth potholder gloves with chickens embroidered on the back and retrieving a wide spatula. “Although, I think we’ll need a few more. Your size is a little off.”

  “Personal pizza,” I agreed. “I could eat two of those myself.”

  “Try one with pepperoni.”

  “I didn’t have time to program in pepperoni. We can do bacon.”

  “Close enough.”

  “Asshole, we need six more pizzas. Two more with extra cheese, three with bacon.”

  “And pineapple,” Matt added.

  “What?” I said. “Nobody wants pineapple on their pizza.”

  “Sure they do. It’s especially good with Canadian bacon.”

  “No, it isn’t. We want Alter to like the pizza, you know.”

  “Come on. It’s not like I’m asking for anchovies.”

  “Asshole, scratch the pineapple,” I said, glancing at him. “Maybe next time.”

  “Fine.”

  “Six pizzas?” Asshole said. “You must be hungry. Order received. Coming right up!”

  Shaq hopped off my shoulder, landing on the table next to the pizza. He leaned over it, giving it a sniff before turning away, buzzing out in disgust.

  “It’s not my fault you only eat meat,” I said. “There’s bacon coming.”

  He buzzed happily, giving me a tiny thumbs-up.

  Asshole assembled the pizzas one at a time, Matt lifting them out and putting them on individual plates. I found a knife in one of the drawers and set about making slices. I would need to make a pizza cutter for next time too.

  “That’s all of them,” Matt said as Shaq picked a piece of the bacon off one of the pies. “Dude, wait for Alter. Didn’t your mother teach you any manners?”

  He shoved the bacon into his tiny mouth, devouring it in seconds as a response.

  “Don’t make me call you wildlife.”

  Shaq buzzed in amusement, hopping onto my shoulder as I picked up two of the plates to bring them into the lounge.

  Making the round trip, the first pitcher of beer was ready by the time I got back. Matt had already poured a small sample into his mug.

  “How is it?” I asked.

  “Tastes like Schlitz,” he replied. “But it’ll do.”

  “I hope this is a resource problem,” I said. “And not a case of people in the Spiral preferring the cheap stuff.”

  We brought the rest of the pizza and beer into the lounge. Matt turned on the television, pulling That Darned Cat up from the datastore. Not a great movie. At all. But we figured it was in there because Alter liked it.

  I left the guitar leaning against the piano in the corner and headed to the sofa. Shaq hopped off my shoulder and onto the couch. He perched on the arm, intensely interested in the cover image for the movie—a cat wearing sunglasses.

  “Oh wow!” Alter exclaimed, appearing at the top of the step into the lounge. “You picked That Darn Cat? I love that movie! The cat is so cute and funny.”

  I stared at her, uncertain if I was more surprised by her attitude or her outfit. Unsure of which persona to expect, I definitely didn’t plan to see her in adult onesie unicorn pajamas, a rainbow horn sticking up from the top of her hood. She wore a playful, innocent smile on her face, more youthful than any of the others I had seen.

  “Hey Alter,” Matt said. “Nice PJs.”

  “Thanks,” she replied. “I thought this was a pajama party?”

  “Come as you are,” I said. “We’ve got pizza and beer, but I’m not sure you’re legal for the alcohol.”

  “I don’t understand,” she responded, not getting my joke.

  “You just look a lot younger than usual.”

  “I do?” She grabbed the front of her onesie. “Do you like it?”

  “Yeah, it’s great. The food, drink, and movie are ready to go, but Matt and I have a surprise for you first.”

  “Really? I love surprises!”

  Matt dropped down on the piano bench while I picked up the guitar. “We thought you might like to hear some real live Earth music.”

  “Justin Bieber? He’s my fave.”

  I glanced at Matt. “Uh. No. Not exactly.”

  She dropped onto the sofa, putting her legs up on the cushions and lounging comfortably, facing us. Shaq hopped from the arm to her lap, curling up there. “I’m sure I’ll love it, whatever it is. I’m ready when you are.”

  I strummed the guitar, Matt tickled the ivories, and we went into the opening riff for Johnny B Goode, an oldie but still awesome. Keeping my eyes on Alter as we played, her face went from relaxed and happy, more so than I’d ever seen it, to pained in about three seconds. By the time Matt started singing, she practically smacked Shaq off her lap as she leaped from the sofa and ran out of the room.

  We both stopped playing, turning to look at one another. “What the hell?” we said at the same time.

  My heart sank. So much effort to make her feel welcome and we had inadvertently done the opposite.

  “I’ll go talk to her,” I said, putting down the guitar to chase after her. Shaq hopped to the arm of the sofa to leap onto my shoulder, but I put my hand out. “Not this time, bud.” He buzzed understanding, and I hurried from the room.

  Chapter Forty-Nine

  I ran back to the elevator, too slow to catch Alter before she left the deck. I didn’t understand why she had reacted the way she did to the music. Did she hate it that much and didn’t want to say anything? Did she decide she needed a different personality to enjoy rock and roll? Was there something else we had done to offend her?

  It took a few seconds for the elevator to return. I jumped in and guided it to Deck Five, desperate to apologize to Alter and make sure she wasn’t mad at Matt and me. While I knew she wouldn’t leave the ship no matter what we did, I really wanted her to feel like we were all one crew, and that we would have her back when needed. While I had questioned her loyalty before we’d entered hyperspace, I’d felt stupid for that as soon as the adrenaline wore off and I calmed down. I couldn’t believe I’d even suspected her to begin with. I couldn’t believe she’d ever want to go back to Sedaya after what he had done to her.

  The cab reached Deck Five, opening to the wall of miscellany Matt had mentioned. This was my first time on the deck, and I stopped at the threshold of the elevator, using my body to keep the door from closing.

  “Alter?” I said. “It’s Ben. Are you here?”

  She didn’t respond, leaving me to wonder if she had come back to this deck or gone to Six or Seven.

  “Alter?” I asked again. “Can I come in?” One thing I knew for sure. I wasn’t going past the barrier without her permission.

  A soft sob came from the other side of the wall of stuff, threatening my resolve to respect her privacy.

  “Alter, I’m sorry. Matt’s sorry too. We didn’t mean to upset you. We were trying to entertain you. To have some fun. We just want you to feel like you belong. Be part of the team, not just the ship’s caretaker. And our caretaker, for that matter. Because, you know, we care about you.” It sounded sappy, like one of the modern songs she liked listening to. But it was also true. “Alter, can I come in?”

  The sobbing stopped, leaving a few seconds of silence hanging between us. “Ben,” she said softly. “You don’t understand.”

  “I’d like to,” I replied. “You’re my friend.”

  “No, I’m not,” she answered faintly. “I know you want to pretend we can be one big happy family, but we can’t.”

  “Why not?”

  “I’m not like you.”

  “I know. So what?”

  “I’ve done things, Ben. Bad things. A lot of bad things.”

  “I know that too. You don’t become a well known assassin by doing good things. But you wanted to get out. You did get out. It doesn’t matter who you were twenty years ago. It matters who you are today. We see you as a friend and a valuable part of our team. We care about you. Please let me come in.”

  Another round of silence followed. I didn’t say anything else. I didn’t advance or retreat. I waited for her to decide. If she had told me to go, I would have gone.

  “I don’t deserve your friendship,” she said at last.

  “That’s for us to decide, isn’t it?” I replied. “I haven’t deserved a lot of crappy things in life. I don’t think Matt and I deserve you either. But here we are.”

  “Here we are,” she repeated softly.

  A third silence persisted, nearly a minute passing while I waited. I could tell whatever had happened in the lounge was about more than the music. We had accidentally triggered something deeper and more meaningful. And now that I was standing there, maybe it was a good thing.

  “Are you still there?” she asked.

  “Yes. I won’t leave unless you want me to. Do you?”

  “No.”

  “Can I come in then?”

  She hesitated, and when she spoke again I could tell the word was hard for her to say. “Okay.”

  “Are you sure?”

  Another pause.

  “Yes, I’m sure. You can come in, Ben.”

  I didn’t realize how nervous I was until I rounded the corner of the barrier. I didn’t know what I expected to find there, but a huge pile of sand definitely wasn’t near the top of my list.

  The largest pile was in the center of the deck, though the motion of the ship had created ripples and dunes as it shifted back and forth. An endless sea of stuff covered the periphery from floor to ceiling, while even more objects lay scattered along the sand. There was no obvious rhyme or reason to the things Alter had collected. A teddy bear, a piece of an airplane wing, a Barbie doll, at least a thousand different stuffed animals. A katana, bo staff, boxing gloves, heavy bag, a number of small metal cages, and some things I couldn’t recognize at all. She even had a large piece of driftwood nestled within the grains.

  The one thing I didn’t see was her.

  “Where are you?” I asked, standing at the edge of the tiny desert. I realized it wasn’t just Head Case that was her home. It was the sand itself, which had probably filled at least part of the head’s shell when she had discovered it. Maybe all of the junk had been there too, garbage discarded on Demitrus.

  Just like her.

  The thought left me ready to shed tears. “Alter?” I asked.

  The sand shifted a few feet away. Surprised by it, I jumped back, watching as it sank within itself. A clear tendril appeared in the center, only a few inches long. It stretched forward and split apart, branching out into more tendrils, the ends becoming wide to support itself on the sand.

  I backed up another step, watching the tendril. It couldn’t be. Could it?

  More of the sand shifted, a multitude of tendrils stretching out and planting themselves against the pile. They spread forward, pulling a larger clear mass out of the sand until a three-foot diameter blob of gelatin that resembled a nerve cell rested on top.

  “Alter?” I whispered, still uncertain. Matt and I had both considered that she might be an alien, but this was a step beyond anything I could have imagined.

  The blob continued changing shape as it rose from the sand, gaining height, stretching and expanding. My heart pounded as it began to gain a more definitive form, the confirmation leaving me speechless.

  “Alter,” I said again softly, staring at the clear human form as it finished constructing itself.

  “I told you, I’m not like you,” she said, the gelatin gaining color and texture, becoming not only skin, but also clothing and hair, continuing to alter until a new version of her stood in front of me. No more than fourteen, with olive skin and dark hair, she was dressed in a flowing nightgown that stretched down to the floor.

  “What are you?” I asked, mesmerized by how she had just made her entrance.

  “My race is called the Aleal,” she replied.

  I continued staring at her. Not knowing what else to say, I blurted out the next thought that came to mind. “That is so freaking awesome!”

  She flinched in response to the statement, expecting a different reaction. Tears formed in her eyes as she processed what I had actually said. “Awesome?”

  “Yeah. You know, cool, wicked, amazing. You’re a shapeshifter.”

  Her smile carried too much sadness. “Ben.” She paused, shaking her head. “You still don’t understand.”

  “What do you mean? You just showed me your true form, and I think it’s incredible. What’s there to understand? I want to know so much more about you. About the Aleal. About how you do the things you do. Did Keep know?”

  She laughed, but it remained heavy with misery. “No, he never knew for sure, but I think he suspected. Very few people know the Aleal even exist.”

  “Why are you so sad? I’m sorry. I just don’t understand.”

  “Because you don’t know anything about me,” she replied.

  “I know you’ve saved my life more than once. I know you take care of the ship. I know I want to know more about you. Matt and I already thought maybe you were an alien. I just didn’t realize how cool you would actually be.”

  “It’s not cool,” she snapped. “It’s not amazing or awesome.”

  “Yes, it—”

  “Ben, an Aleal can only take the shape of something it’s consumed.”

  I froze where I stood, staring at her as my brain tried to catch up to the statement. I frowned, giving Alter a look she must have thought was disgust, because she turned away, her silent tears becoming audible in more soft sobs.

  Every persona she had exhibited was someone she had killed. I didn’t know what to say. I didn’t know how to feel.

  Yes, I did.

  I stepped forward, wrapping my arms around her from behind. I had never actually touched Alter outside of martial arts practice, and her young form didn’t make it any easier, but I hugged her anyway. “I don’t care,” I told her, holding her close.

  She turned her head and tipped her chin up to look at me. “Ben, I don’t think you heard me. This form. This child. I murdered her. I devoured a part of her brain so I could capture her essence. So she would become part of me.”

  “Did you kill her because you wanted to, or because Sedaya made you?”

  “Does it matter?”

  “Doesn’t it?”

  She gently turned to face me, my arms falling away. “She was one of my jobs. All of them were.” She changed form again, needing only a handful of seconds. This time, to a large man in a military uniform. “Sedaya found my homeworld. He captured me. The others fought him. He brought me back to his castle. He wanted me to feed on this man. I didn’t want to. He tortured me.” She started crying again, tears rolling down her cheeks into her beard. “He broke me, Ben. He used me. He turned me into a killer. And when he was done with me he threw me away.”

  “I’m sorry, Alter. I’m sorry you had to go through all that. Why would I reject you because he made you kill people? So what if you ate them? Asshole turned the Niflin we killed into bacon for me. Same difference.”

  She shook her head. “No, Ben. He made me become an assassin, and it was horrible. But then, for a while, I enjoyed it. I liked gaining new personalities. New skills. I felt important. Special. Powerful.”

  “But that wouldn’t have happened if Sedaya hadn’t stolen you and pushed you into it. If that’s all you knew, if that was the sum total of what you thought you were, then why wouldn’t you enjoy it for a while? You told me you wanted out, and that’s when Sedaya dumped you. Obviously, you didn’t enjoy it anymore.”

  “No. I didn’t.”

  “So what’s the problem?”

  She looked down at me, our eyes meeting. I kept our gaze locked as she changed again, back to the younger woman in the unicorn onesie. Her sadness faded, her smile returning. “You don’t hate me?” she asked, sounding more like a child than an infamous assassin.

  “As long as you don’t play any more of that overly sweet techno pop, I don’t hate you,” I replied.

  She laughed. “I’m sorry I ran away. I just… You wanted to play your music for me. You invited me to come down and were going to watch That Darn Cat with me. No one’s ever actually cared about me like that before. They only cared about what I could do for them.”

  “Well, I guess you can’t say that anymore,” I said.

  “Ben… there’s something else.”

  “Okay.”

  “I can’t eat the pizza. Or anything that comes out of the assembler. It has to be raw and organic. I can store it temporarily, but I can’t actually digest it or use it as fuel.”