A loud rumble joined the mix of sounds. This one I did recognize as a regular car engine. The limousine. The flashes of light around us stopped, and when I turned my head, I saw a handful of figures in dark uniforms climbing out of the parked vehicles, none of them street legal. They didn’t even have wheels. Instead, they floated a few inches above the pavement as if gravity were a mere suggestion. They were all facing the adjacent aisle between containers, their attention and firepower fixed on the limo charging directly toward them.

  Matt pulled me forcefully to my feet, practically lifting me off the ground as he tugged me toward the starship and Mr. Keep waiting at the ramp leading into the starship. I kept my head turned to watch the action behind us, mouth gaping as the limo approached the uniformed men without slowing. Recognizing the kamikaze move and finding their light blasts ineffective against the car, they scattered as the limo plowed into the midst of their vehicles, sending them spinning away. One smashed into the other two floaters that had come from the opposite direction. The other spun into one of the attackers, throwing him against a shipping container. He slid down the side of it and didn’t move again.

  The rest of their assailants turned back to the limo, opening fire on it at point blank range. The concentrated blasts of light dissolved the limo’s windshield, melting the glass. And then the driver.

  I cringed at the sight, my nausea intensifying as we reached the ramp. The robot head felt a lot bigger up close than it had from a distance. The mouth was large enough to swallow a jet fighter, and the curve of it loomed overhead.

  “About time you two got here,” Keep said. “Don’t look up.”

  I didn’t know what he meant until I glanced over my shoulder. The lights that had blinded us earlier had regained their intensity. Suddenly unable to see, their adversaries at the intersection threw up their arms to shield their eyes. The additional illumination allowed me to better make them out. Thin and lanky, their black uniforms looked more like fitted superhero suits with Daft Punk helmets covering their entire heads.

  “Get inside,” Keep said, joining us on the ramp. “This is going to get violent.”

  Part of the ridged metal slid aside, revealing an entryway into the ship. Keep tried to shoo us through, but I resisted, disgustingly curious about the promised carnage.

  The limo’s sunroof exploded upward, immediately followed by a spinning, multi-colored blur vaulting out of the new opening. It flew straight for the stunned punks, a fiery red fan sweeping out from either side of it, the razor-sharp edges eviscerating three of the punks in the blink of an eye. The remaining four fired at the blur, their bolts captured by the fans and thrown back at them. They collapsed almost in unison, tumbling to the wet pavement, steaming holes in their helmets.

  “Frigging hell,” I muttered, swallowing the bile rising into my throat. The multicolored blur turned toward us, finally slowing down.

  A diminutive woman took the blur’s place. She had pink hair tied in a pair of pigtails, a narrow, mischievous face, a tiny nose and thin lips. Dressed in a yellow shirt and a red skirt with a bright blue jacket and orange high-tops, the combination of her comical appearance and obvious aptitude for killing scared the living crap out of me.

  She held a pair of glowing rods in her hands, which seemed to drip pure energy onto the ground, where it evaporated the moisture, surrounding her in steam. She did something to the rods and the charge vanished, leaving them dark. A quick move made them disappear to somewhere else on her person.

  “Who is that?” Matt asked. At the same time, I leaned over the side of the ramp and finally lost control of my esophagus, spewing my dinner onto the ground in front of the robot head.

  “That’s my personal assistant,” Keep replied once I had finished puking. The woman literally skipped down the aisle to us. “Alter, these are our customers, Ben and Matt. Fellows, this is Alter.”

  “Uh, hi,” Matt said in a tone I hadn’t heard before. It sounded like a mix between completely appalled and wholly intrigued.

  I wiped my mouth with the sleeve of my hoodie, keeping my barf breath angled away from her. “Good to meet you, Alter.”

  She didn’t say anything, choosing a curtsy instead. The killing machine from fifteen seconds ago had turned into a demure waif.

  “My apologies for the interruption,” Keep said. “Like I told you, I’ve been trying to keep the details of this potential sale from reaching certain avenues. Apparently, my efforts have failed.”

  “Those people were trying to kill us,” Matt said breathlessly, the reality of the situation catching up to him as the adrenaline began to fade.

  “Trying, yes,” Keep agreed. “Succeeding, no.” He gestured up the ramp. “Shall we?”

  Chapter Sixteen

  When Keep ushered us into the ship, I was still a little shaky, my mind struggling to catch up to what had just happened outside. A series of spotlights immediately activated, bathing the interior in such stunning relief that all the images of disembowelment and death that had been flashing through my head quickly disappeared.

  All my negative thoughts drained away with them, replaced by confused awe. While the action outside had gone a long way toward settling any lingering doubts I had about Keep’s sincerity over the nature of the robot head, the inside visuals sealed the deal.

  The small entrance emptied into a combination hangar/cargo bay, with a metal grated deck under which ran bundles of cables and pipes. The walls were slightly rusted and worn like the exterior, but they were also lined with numerous crates, boxes, and shelves either bolted down or held fast by thick netting. A set of metal stairs ran up both sides of the open space to an overhang, an interior hatch visible through the grated floor. The lights jutted out from the flat ceiling above the overhang, incandescent bulbs that didn’t quite feel out of place.

  More exciting than that, a smaller craft rested on the deck in front of me. Painted dark purple, it was about half the size of a jet fighter, sleek and slender, with a raised canopy in the center and a bulge in the rear that housed a massive thruster. A pair of gun turrets were mounted under each rounded delta wing, along with a trio of tubes I assumed held projectiles of some kind.

  The excitement didn’t last. The sight of the weaponry dragged me back to what had just happened outside, turning my stomach over again in an instant. Everything around me felt so surreal, and I wanted so much to stay in that place of amazed, shocked, awe.

  But I couldn’t.

  “Keep, I want to know what’s going on,” I said, turning to face him. “Right now.”

  “I’m not sure I understand what you mean,” Keep replied, somehow maintaining a straight face.

  “Are you kidding?” Matt snapped, his voice rising as he spoke. “Your personal assistant just killed eight people and trashed four cars, which I don’t think were actually cars because they were floating.”

  Alter casually moved into place between Matt and Keep, looking up at him with big, innocent eyes.

  Keep put up his hands in surrender. “Yeah. An unfortunate interlude. I’ll get to that, I promise. But let’s finish the tour first, okay? If you’re still interested when we’re done, then we can talk a little more about the…how should I put this? Complete picture.”

  “Complete picture?” I said.

  “Like a Carfax for starships. I think it’s pretty obvious this one has been around the block once or twice.”

  “Especially considering it used to be on the neck of a robot,” Matt said. “One that must have been what? Three hundred feet tall? What did you use it for? Fighting Godzilla?”

  “Kid, I think you let your imagination run away from you a bit too much.”

  “What else are we supposed to do when you won’t tell us anything?” I asked. “Those people were after you for a reason. What are you, some kind of intergalactic criminal?”

  “I already told you, I’m not a crook. I’m a salesman, trying to make a deal.”

  “And that’s all you are? A salesman?”

  “Yes, sir.”

  “I don’t believe you.”

  “Me either,” Matt said. “Honestly, my instinct is to get the hell out of here and call the police, but I think you’d probably kill them too.”

  “Which should be a good clue for you, Sherlock. If I wanted either of you dead, you would have been ten times over by now. If I didn’t care about your survival, I could have left you out there at the mercy of the duke’s minions. So please, can we finish the tour?”

  “Why bother?” I said. “People are dead because of you. Because of this ship. I don’t want anything to do with that.”

  “For one thing, they aren’t people,” Keep retorted. “For another, I was well within my rights to kill them. You both saw that it was self-defense. You should be grateful. Alter saved your lives.”

  “Thank you, Alter,” Matt said, glancing at her. She smiled and giggled like a schoolgirl while she curtsied again.

  “She shouldn’t have had to save our lives,” I argued. “We came here with the thought that we were going to look at a starship, a fake starship, to be honest. Not be attacked by Daft Punk lookakalikes with ray guns.”

  “Like I said, an unfortunate interlude. My goal has always been to pull off the sale of the ship without a hitch and with zero risk to potential buyers. What can I do? What’s done is done. Badabing badaboom.”

  “I wish you’d stop saying that. It’s annoying.”

  “What is?”

  “That badabing thing.”

  “What badabing thing?”

  “You don’t even know you’re doing it, do you?”

  “Doing what?”

  I shook my head. “Here’s the deal, Mister Keep. Matt and I would like to go home now, before we both end up dead.”

  Keep glared at me, pursing his lips. “I really think you should see the rest of the ship.”

  “Why?”

  “Because you came all this way. Because you wanted to see it before you were almost killed. Because you might still be interested in the purchase once you see everything that’s included.”

  “Unless there’s a machine in here that can cure cancer, I’m not interested.”

  The way Keep stared at me caused me to freeze.

  “Is there a machine here that can cure cancer?” I asked tentatively.

  “Not exactly,” he replied. “But I don’t think you should be too hasty in dismissing the potential of a universe where functional starships and floating cars exist. Do you?”

  I had opened my mouth to counter whatever argument he presented. Now it slammed back closed and I glanced over at Matt, who looked equally thoughtful.

  “Ah, now I see you’re beginning to listen to reason,” Keep said. “I’ll give you and Sherlock another clue if you’ll agree to follow me upstairs.”

  My eyes met Matt’s. He nodded slightly.

  “Fine,” I said. “We’ll follow you upstairs.”

  “Badabing badaboom! I knew you’d come around. Alter, keep an eye on things outside. If any more of the duke’s forces show up, take care of them.”

  Alter giggled and nodded, skipping the short distance to the open hatch leading outside.

  “That girl is not right,” Matt said.

  “Maybe not,” Keep agreed. “But I’ve often found the most broken people are also the most efficient. This way.”

  “You promised us another cookie,” I said.

  “Right,” Keep replied. “Consider this. As I’m trying to keep as few people as possible from becoming aware of this sale, how does that relate to the text message I sent to your phone?”

  He didn’t wait for me to absorb the question, whirling away and scaling the left-hand steps to the overhang, leaving me and Matt dumbstruck once more.

  Chapter Seventeen

  “Why me?” I asked as I reached the top of the stairs.

  Keep waited for us near the hatch leading deeper into the ship. “What do you mean?” he replied, playing innocent.

  “Your clue. You weren’t spamming that website to every phone number you could find. You sent it to me. Deliberately. Why me?”

  Only the left side of Keep’s mouth moved into a knowing grin. “Good question, but we haven’t gone further in the tour yet. The more you see, the more answers you get. Fair enough?”

  “I guess. But maybe if I had more answers, I wouldn’t need to see the rest of the ship.”

  “And maybe if you had all the answers you’d definitely want to go home. Until you saw the rest of the ship. This way, you get what you want, and I get what I want.”

  “Not if you don’t make the sale,” Matt said, coming up behind me.

  “Like I said, that would be disappointing. But maybe I like my odds. Do we have a deal?” he asked, putting out his hand.

  I stared at it for a few seconds before shaking it. “Deal.”

  “Badabing badaboom! Here we go.” He stuck his right index finger into a small hole in the wall, up to the first knuckle. Maybe something scanned his fingerprint. A light over the hole turned green and the hatch slid aside, revealing what looked like a generic hotel elevator.

  “By the way, the lift doesn’t count,” he said, stepping into the cab and turning to face us.

  I stopped in my tracks. “The hell it doesn’t.”

  “This isn’t an official compartment. It’s just a transport mechanism.”

  I slipped into my best rendition of Keep’s voice. “The more you see, the more answers you get.” I shrugged. “This is more to see.”

  “Barely.”

  “You’re splitting hairs.”

  He sighed, clearly getting worn down by the amount of effort it was taking him to show off a working starship. And maybe I was being too hesitant, especially considering my current situation. But I wasn’t here alone. And Matt still had a full life ahead of him.

  “Fine,” he said. “Get in the lift, I’ll tell you on the way up. We’ll work our way from top down.”

  “How many decks are there?” I asked, stepping into the elevator.

  “Seven, including the hangar here.” The hatch slid closed.

  “Why me?” I asked again.

  “Sorry, kid. You used up your question.”

  “What?” I said. “That didn’t count.”

  “The hell it didn’t,” he countered, mimicking me back. “It isn’t my fault you asked a stupid one.”

  “You aren’t a very good salesman, are you?” Matt asked. “You definitely need to work on your schmoozing.”

  “This ship should sell itself. You’re just being difficult.” He hit the seven on the elevator’s panel. The cab started rising.

  “I’m being difficult?” Matt fumed. “Me?”

  “Okay, okay,” I said, getting between them. “We have a deal. If that was a question, fine. I won’t make that mistake a second time.”

  Matt backed down, as did Keep. The silent ride to the seventh floor only took a few seconds, though I didn’t feel any of the force such quick acceleration and deceleration would suggest.

  “Inertial…” I trailed off, stopping before I asked another question.

  “Cancellation,” Keep finished.

  “That’s impossible,” Matt said.

  “Somebody should tell that to the person who designed the lift,” Keep retorted. “Would you have also said floating cars were impossible thirty minutes ago?”

  “Not impossible. Just unlikely.”

  “Is that a wide chasm to cross, from unlikely to impossible?” The answer left Matt stymied, which Keep seemed to enjoy. “If you move forward with the purchase, you’ll come to find that there are many things you deem impossible that are only impossible because you don’t know any better. It’s not your fault.”

  “I suppose that means you’re telling us there are other races of intelligent beings out there too,” I said.

  The elevator doors slid open. Keep stepped out of the cab without answering. Matt and I joined him on the deck.

  “Yes, of course there are other intelligent beings out there,” he said, turning to face us. “An entire universe of intelligent beings. Some good. Some bad. Some ugly. Badabing badaboom! Some worse than others, like the duke’s goombas.”

  I swallowed another lump in my throat. Keep had said the punks Alter killed weren’t people.

  “By the way, you just used up your question for this part of the tour.”

  “Damn it,” I replied, still more than a little eager to know the answer to why me.

  “Better luck next time, kid.”

  Even so… aliens! The idea was both awesome and terrifying. What had I gotten Matt and myself into?

  “You really are a lousy salesman,” Matt said, turning in a full circle with his head swiveling up and down. “How is this supposed to make us eager to buy your giant robot head?”

  Looking around, I had to agree. The elevator had dropped us on the rearward side of the head’s rounded top, looking across most of the open deck. Hundreds of cables snaked across the curved ceiling, some of their anchors dislodged or missing, leaving them drooping down directly in front of us. The connections to the mohawk antenna I had identified outside were all visible here, along with plenty of other junction boxes, circuit breaker panels, and other electricity related hardware. The largest piece of solid machinery sat in the center of the deck, spewing thick cables out around it like an ugly square octopus. A coating of rust covered its metal shell, corrosion obvious around the wires. A faint, high-pitched buzz flowed from it.

  “Honestly, my first impression is that regardless of anything else, this ship is an ass-ton of work to maintain,” I said.

  “Not so, my good man,” Keep countered, walking across to the console. He put his finger against the side, wiping it along the metal to show the thick layer of dust that had gathered on it. He held up his grimy finger. “In fact, this will be the only time you ever need to come up here. My purpose in showing you this first is twofold. One, I want you to make an informed purchase, and you’d see this sooner or later anyway. Two, as proof of how low maintenance the ship really is. Set and forget. Point and click. Plug and play. Badabing badaboom!”