“So…how's it going with him?”

  “Okay…”

  Caitlin smiled. “I think I'll just cut to the chase.”

  “The chase?”

  “Yeah, I couldn't help but notice you two last night.”

  “Last night?” I could hear the pitch of my voice get a little higher.

  “Yeah. Josh actually saw you guys first. He said it looked like Dominic was having way too much fun.”

  “He said that?”

  “Well, just to me. No one else was around.”

  “Oh…”

  “But I was concerned, Maya. Are you okay with this?”

  “With what?” I looked down and forked my cheese ravioli like I was starving.

  “With how intimate you and Dominic seem to be getting.”

  Okay, I could have lied to her. But I really didn't want to.

  “It's kind of bothering me.”

  She nodded as she opened her dressing packet and squirted it over her salad. “That's what I suspected.”

  “I just don't know what to do about it. I mean, I was about to say something last night right after it happened. But we just drove home in silence, which is another thing that bugs me. But then he was a perfect gentleman when he walked me to the door. He gave me a little kiss on the cheek and said good night.”

  “That's sweet.”

  “Still, I can't pretend that I'm not part of the problem. I mean, I'm sure I enjoy kissing as much as he does.”

  She kind of giggled. “That's pretty normal.”

  “But I am getting worried that it could go too far. I know what you said about Beanie and everything.”

  “Can I tell you another story?”

  “Sure.” I nodded in relief. “Go for it.”

  So she told me about how she and Josh started dating during high school. “Ironically, I kind of stole him from a good friend.” She shook her head. “Not that I exactly knew this at the time. But I did later.”

  “You stole Josh from a friend?” Somehow this did not sound like the Caitlin I knew.

  “Yes. It's kind of embarrassing to admit it now, but back then my friend Jenny and I were competing for the same guy. But Josh liked me better.”

  “Apparently.”

  She laughed. “And I obviously liked him a lot too. In fact, I knew that I was in love—and that was pretty scary.”

  “Why?”

  “Because we were so young. Oh sure, we thought we were old at the time. I was seventeen. He was a senior. Even so, I knew we were too young to be that serious. Plus I had made an abstinence pledge to God, and I was determined to keep it. But dating Josh put my pledge in serious jeopardy.”

  “Meaning you and Josh thought about having sex?”

  “What I didn't know back then was that Josh had already had sex…with his previous girlfriend, Jenny. Later on, Josh told me that had set him up to expect to have sex again. With me.”

  “So what did you do?”

  “Well, after some pretty steamy dates, I knew that God was telling me it was time to break up.”

  “You broke up with Josh?”

  Caitlin slowly nodded. “Yes. And trust me, it wasn't easy.”

  “Was Josh hurt?”

  “Well, I tried to explain my reasoning to him. I told him that I took my abstinence pledge seriously and that dating him was not helping. And although Josh wasn't happy about the breakup, he told me years later how much he respected me for doing it.”

  “And obviously, you didn't break up permanently.”

  “Obviously.” She smiled. “But after I broke up with Josh, I realized that I didn't want to continue dating anyone.”

  “Because you loved Josh?”

  “Because I loved God.”

  I watched her, and I knew she was telling me more than just words. She was talking about her heart and her convictions, and these are things she takes very seriously.

  “I knew that to continue dating would probably put my relationship with God at risk, as well as my vow to save sex for marriage. I'd seen up close and personal how difficult it was to maintain a healthy relationship with Josh. And he'd be the first one to tell you—or anyone—that his hormones were like a wildfire, and he'd also tell you that I did him a huge favor when I broke up with him.”

  “But you did get back together?”

  “Not until my senior year in college. By then we'd both grown up a lot. Josh had started taking his relationship with God seriously. He'd gone to Bible school. And when we finally got back together, well, I can't even tell you how thankful I was that we'd done this right.” She sighed. “I'm not saying that we didn't have problems or that everything was easy. But doing it God's way has made a huge difference in our marriage.”

  I sighed. “Well, I have to admit that when I see you guys together, it seems like you have a really great relationship. Probably the most solid marriage I've ever seen.”

  “Thanks to God's help.”

  There was a long pause now. We both just quietly ate our food, but I had a lot to think about.

  “So what do you think I should do?” I finally asked her.

  “I can't tell you what to do, Maya. All I can tell you is what worked for me. And what's happened to others I know. I'm sure you've heard about my brother Ben…and Natalie.”

  I pressed my lips together and nodded. I knew that Natalie and Ben had dated and that Natalie had gotten pregnant, but I'd been shocked to hear that they had actually gotten married. Although Nat never spoke of it. Kim only told me because she thought it might help me understand Nat better. And I must admit that I felt sorry for Nat when Kim told me how the marriage was such a mess and that Ben had started drinking and was abusive. Eventually they split up, and Natalie gave the baby up for adoption. And sometimes, when Nat isn't lecturing me about being a Christian, I see the sadness in her eyes and wonder how it would feel to have been through all that as a teenager. It pretty much blows my mind.

  “How is Ben doing?” I said.

  “He's still struggling. But he rededicated his life to God, and I think, in time, he'll be okay. I think he learned a lot.”

  “That's a hard way to learn.”

  “Just my point. Life throws plenty of hard things at us, Maya. You know for yourself that's true. So I don't see any reason to go around inviting them in. I have never regretted keeping my vow to wait until marriage to have sex.”

  “But wasn't it hard to give up dating?”

  “Sometimes. But I still did fun things with guys. And in a way, it allowed me to get to know my Christian guy friends better because they knew what the rules were. It eliminated some pressure.”

  I glanced at my watch and realized my lunch break was almost over. So I thanked Caitlin for telling me this.

  “Oh, I almost forgot,” she said as we both got up. “I can't do our Saturday session tomorrow. Josh and I are driving over to Brenton for a wedding.”

  “I think we just had our Saturday session.” I frowned. “And now I'm getting worried about my date with Dominic tonight. I'm not sure how it will go.”

  “Why don't you just talk to him, Maya? Tell him how you feel and what worries you. See how he reacts.”

  I nodded and picked up my bag.

  “I'll be praying for you.”

  Now I'll cut to the chase. I had planned to do what Caitlin said, to talk to him. But suddenly we were sitting in the back row of the theater. Dominic's arm was around me, and then we were kissing. I missed most of the movie. Afterward, I told him that I needed to get home.

  “I've got a lot to do tomorrow,” I told him as he drove me back to my car, “to get things ready for my dad's visit.”

  So now I'm sitting here writing this, and I feel like I totally blew it. But maybe I can figure it out tomorrow.

  July 28

  I think I've been allowing my busyness to distract me from dealing with a couple of problems. I will write down my problems, just to keep me from forgetting them altogether. Not that it's likely to happen.

  I need to figure out how to forgive Brooke Marshall.

  I need to be honest with Dominic about my concerns.

  But at least I've been praying about both situations. And eventually I'll know what to do about them, but I'm in no hurry. In the meantime I'm working either at the boutique or in the garden, which I want to get perfect. Or else I'm helping with the fund-raiser or organizing my dinner party where I'll introduce Dad to my friends. And then I have to get my column turned in to Uncle Allen on Wednesdays. So life is pretty busy. Or else I'm just using all this as an excuse. Time will tell.

  Another distraction popped into my life today. Caitlin called me and asked if I could do something to promote the benefit concert.

  “Sure, what?” I asked.

  “Well, it would be on your day off. Thursday, right?”

  “Right.”

  “A friend of mine at Channel Five wants to do a quick spot about the concert, and I thought it would be cool to have Nick Stark's daughter do the promotion.”

  “Me? On TV?” Okay, I was not liking this.

  “Yes. Would you mind?”

  “I'm not sure this is—”

  “Look, I knew you'd be reluctant, Maya, and that you might give me that bit about wanting to be an average, normal girl. But just think of those kids you'd be doing this for. So far our ticket sales haven't been too great. I know it's because we got the posters out late. My news friend, Suzy, says that having you on the news could reach a lot of viewers, and the concert might actually sell out.”

  “So you're basically guilting me into this?”

  “No, but I would encourage you to pray about it. And if you could decide by morning, it would be helpful. If you don't do it, I'll go in. Of course, I'll have to cancel a counseling appointment to do that and—”

  “Fine, fine,” I said quickly. “I'll do it.” And really, I told myself after I hung up, it couldn't be any worse than modeling. Then I remembered Marissa's advice: “Get over yourself, Maya.” And so I will.

  July 31

  I did the news spot this morning, and it was actually kind of fun. To my surprise it was much easier than modeling.

  “You're really good at this,” Suzy told me after we wrapped it up.

  The camera guy nodded. “She's a natural.”

  “Thanks,” I told them. “I just hope that it sells some tickets.”

  “I'm buying two,” the camera guy said.

  “So am I,” Suzy said.

  I laughed. “Four tickets—we're on our way.”

  “We'll run this spot on the news tonight,” Suzy promised. “And I'll talk to the station manager about running it as a public service announcement for the next couple of days.”

  “Great,” I said, thanking them again.

  “Thank you!” Suzy said. “You made my job easy.”

  And so, when it was all said and done, I felt pretty good about how it all went this morning. But I didn't feel so good when I left the studio. I realized that it was located on the other side of the hill where Brooke lives. I remembered how I'd driven over to her house on another day off, a day not so different from today. I was so enraged when I saw her. Naturally, it seemed justified to me. But it might've felt different to her. And to be honest, I can't remember exactly what I said to her. I know I shouted. But so did she. Still, Caitlin's right. I need to do whatever it takes to forgive her. So I actually started to drive up her street, but then I lost my nerve, turned my car around on a cul-de-sac, and headed home.

  I just could not make myself do it. Maybe I need to pray some more. Also, and this is the truth, I'm still a little ticked that she hasn't apologized to me. Didn't her dad promise Mr. Bernard that she would? Of course, maybe Brooke, like me, is simply waiting for the right moment…or maybe she's waiting until an apology might actually be sincere. Who knows?

  Besides, my dad arrives tonight, and I still have a few details to take care of for the dinner party tomorrow. So really, I don't have time to deal with Brooke right now. Dominic is coming to the dinner tomorrow, and we haven't seen much of each other this past week—we've both been too busy. Maybe I don't really need to be worried about our relationship at all.

  Maya's Green Tip for the Day

  Okay, I'll admit it was really hot today. And while I appreciate the fact that my home and place of work have air conditioning, I do not get why some people keep the temperature so cold. For every degree you turn up your AC, you save 3 percent on your electric bill. That could add up to millions of dollars and kilowatts across the country. So why freeze when you can save money and energy by turning it up?

  August 1

  I picked up my dad at the airport last night at seven. I offered to take him on a tour of the town, but he declined.

  “I think I'd like to call it a night, if you don't mind, Maya.”

  “No problem. You look pretty exhausted.”

  “I've been up for about twenty hours now.”

  So I drove him downtown where he'd reserved a room at, according to Uncle Allen, the best hotel around. But probably not nearly as nice as the places my dad usually stays. “It's not the Ritz,” I told him as I pulled up in front, “but hopefully you'll be comfortable.”

  “I'll be asleep before my head hits the pillow.” He pulled his bag from the trunk. “And I'll probably sleep in tomorrow too. I hope you don't mind.”

  “You just call me when you want to, Dad.” Then we hugged, and he went into the hotel. I have the next five days off, but it's not like I planned to spend every free minute with him. He needs to rest up a little before the concert tomorrow. But at least he seemed excited about my dinner party.

  I've been working all day to make everything perfect. It's been kind of a relief that Dad slept in until nearly two. Then he called to say that he'd decided to take it easy until dinnertime. The plan is for Dominic to pick him up and bring him over here around six. Uncle Allen offered but then remembered he needed to be here to tend the barbecue.

  I put the finishing touches outside. I rented four tables and sixteen chairs and arranged them around the backyard. Because Aunt Patricia liked to sew, she had a whole trunk full of fabrics, and Kim helped me pick out the prints that looked most Hawaiian for the tablecloths. I'm going with a luau theme. I picked flowers from the garden to make colorful bouquets for the tables. For vases, I used recycled tin cans wrapped with big elephant ear bamboo leaves and tied with raffia. Jackie loaned me tiki torches that I planted randomly around the yard. I also made hanging votive candleholders from recycled glass jars and wire and beads. It's going to look magical once it starts to get dark. And for music, Uncle Allen dug out some Hawaiian CDs that they got on vacation a few years ago.

  “Everything looks beautiful,” Kim said.

  “Thanks.” I looked around the backyard with satisfaction. This yard isn't nearly as big or fancy as where I lived in Beverly Hills (well, back in the days when we could afford a groundskeeper), but I still like it better here. It feels homey and sweet…and safe.

  “The caterer just delivered the food,” Kim said. “I stashed it in the fridge. It looks really good.”

  “I want this to be special.” I adjusted one of the flower arrangements. “You know, for my dad.”

  “I can't wait to meet him, Maya.” She clapped her hands like a little girl. “This is so exciting!”

  I glanced over to the fence that separates our yard from Natalie's. “Did you invite her?” Nat wanted to come, and although I wasn't that thrilled with the idea, out of respect for Kim I had said it was okay.

  “Actually, she invited herself.” Kim shook her head. “And her mom too. Her mom is a Nick Stark fan. I told Nat I'd have to check with you.”

  I forced a smile. “Great, that means all the tables will be filled.”

  “You're sure?”

  I nodded. “Absolutely.”

  Kim looked hugely relieved. “Thanks. I better tell her so they can arrange for a sitter.”

  I almost said, “Oh, the kids can come too,” except I know how wild and crazy Nat's younger siblings can be. I like them. But I want tonight to be more grown-up.

  “Are you going to have assigned seating?” Kim asked as we went inside.

  “Yes. The place cards are in my room.”

  “Let me guess, recycled paper?”

  I laughed. “Yes. And I'm going to glue little flowers on them.”

  “How did you get to be so clever, Maya?”

  “Probably from being homeschooled the past few years.”

  “But I thought you said that Shannon was, well, you know, kind of checked out?”

  “She was. I pretty much homeschooled myself. And I probably spent more time on art than math.”

  “And yet you aced your PSATs.” Now she looked curiously at me. “So have you decided whether you're going to high school or college next year?”

  Besides the guidance counselor at Harrison High, Kim and Uncle Allen are the only ones I've discussed this with. And lately I haven't said much. Everyone else, including Dominic, assumes I'll be in high school next year. They don't know I already have my GED and passed my PSAT.

  “I don't know,” I said. “Sometimes I think I should keep working part-time for Jackie and start taking community college classes and make plans for getting an apartment and being on my own.”

  Kim nodded without commenting.

  “And other times I just want to have a normal high-school experience. You know, kind of like you.”

  She smiled. “You only get one chance to do that, Maya. I mean, college and career are always out there, but you can only do high school when you're a teenager.”

  Now I'm thinking about that as I'm chilling in my room. It's still a couple of hours before my little soiree, and everything is ready—I've even finished the place cards for the tables. And I'm hoping everything will turn out okay. But I'm also thinking about what Kim said—that you can only do high school when you're a teenager. After that you can go to college for as long as you like. And you can work as long as you like. But high school is a onetime thing.

  August 2

  Last night was wonderful. If I do say so myself, I think I might have a flair for entertaining. Not onstage kind of entertaining. I'll leave that to my dad. But everyone who came to the dinner party couldn't believe that I—a teenage girl—actually put the whole thing together. Like, afterward, Nat's mom was thanking my uncle. “You put together such a wonderful evening, Allen.”