Its a green thing, p.17
It's a Green Thing,
p.17
She sat there staring at me with the blankest expression, and I was thinking she was about to say something really shallow and irritating. But instead she burst into tears.
“I'm so sorry,” she sobbed. “I'm sorry I pretended to be injured. And I'm sorry that Marissa has been hurt like this. And I know I'm not a good Christian. And I'm just really, really sorry. Please forgive me.”
To my surprise I actually hugged her. “I forgive you.”
Then we both stood, and she wiped her wet face with her hands. “I'm praying for Marissa. Although I'm sure she would question that since she must've thought I was a terrible person. But I really am praying.”
“I'll tell her that.”
“Is she conscious?”
“No. But I talk to her all the time. I'm hoping she can hear.”
Brooke nodded. “I hope so too.”
So in a way some good has come out of this sadness. But I just really, really want Marissa to be okay. And even as I write this, I'm afraid I don't have enough faith. Every time I see her, she looks exactly the same—like she's never going to get better. But then I think, why is she still here? Is God keeping her here for a reason? Mostly I try not to think about it too much. It's better to just pray.
August 31
It's been two weeks since Marissa and Eddie were in the wreck. Eddie is recovering at home and, according to Dominic, feeling pretty depressed and guilty. Marissa still hasn't regained consciousness, but the doctors are sounding a little more positive. They seem surprised that she's still here. Also, some of her injuries are healing. And Marissa's dad consulted with a neurosurgeon, and Marissa is now scheduled for surgery. So I'm feeling a smidgen of hope.
But today was a different kind of sad. Today I had to say goodbye to Kim. Because of the situation with Marissa, she's put it off, but now there's no time to spare, and she has to head off to college. I spent all morning helping her pack—actually cram—her stuff into the back of Uncle Allen's car. He's taking some days off from the paper so he can drive her to school.
“Are you sure you'll be okay on your own?” Kim asked me for about the tenth time as we were saying our final good-byes in the driveway.
I know she meant the situation with Marissa, because she and her dad have been worried that I'm taking it too hard, that I'm depressed. I don't think it's possible not to be sad, but I also think I'm dealing with it. I'm trying to trust God with the whole thing. So I put on a brave face and reminded Kim to pray about Marissa's neurosurgery next week.
“Really, I'm okay,” I assured her one last time. “I'll be perfectly fine.”
“Tell Marissa I'm praying for her,” Kim said as she hugged me. “And for you too, Maya. Be strong.”
“And we'll stay in touch,” I promised. “I'll e-mail you every day.”
“Same here.” Then she hugged me again. “You're like a sister to me. I can't even say how thankful I am that you're in our lives.” She stepped back and looked at me with teary eyes. “Look at me. Here I am telling you to be strong!”
“Have a good trip.” I waved and smiled as they pulled out. But as soon as the car was out of sight, I felt like crying. Still, I reminded myself that I need to be even more mature now. For my uncle's sake as much as for my own.
Last week Uncle Allen pretty much reiterated what he'd said to my dad, that I was more than welcome to remain in their home. And he said it was an offer he didn't make lightly and that he appreciated that I was mature for my age.
“I'm not concerned that you'll pull any crazy adolescent stunts,” he told me. “Not that I want you to feel pressured to be perfect. I know teens need to have some fun.” He smiled. “But your sensibilities remind me so much of Kim that I'm not worried.” He also said he considered me a part of the family, and that's something I don't take lightly.
But for however long I remain here, I so don't want to be a burden to my uncle. I want to stand on my own two feet. I want to do things right. All the upheaval of the past two weeks has helped me make some decisions. Most important, I have decided to do my senior year at Harrison High. I know I don't have to do this. I have my GED. But I just think it's what I need right now.
Kim and Uncle Allen were both hugely relieved when I told them. They agreed that it was the right choice. My dad felt the same. I will still work on getting my emancipation—not to have a place of my own but simply to keep Shannon from trying to get me back if she wins her appeal and is released from prison. And it's scheduled for the end of September, so I need to get busy.
September 3
School started today. To my surprise, Brooke and Amanda asked to sit with me at lunch. Then Dominic joined us, along with Eddie, who is hobbling around on crutches and never smiles. I suppose we were a rather somber crowd. And I wondered what Marissa would think if she could see us. She was always such a cutup during lunch, so sarcastic and witty. She would put the spark into any conversation. Okay, sometimes it was a dark spark, but she would get people going.
“What's the latest on Marissa?” asked Amanda.
“She's been in neurosurgery this morning,” I said. “They're supposed to finish by one.”
“Everyone needs to pray for a real miracle,” Brooke said as she stuck a straw in her soda.
“Why don't we pray for Marissa right now?” Dominic suggested.
“Right here?” Amanda looked over her shoulder to where kids were pushing and joking in the lunch line.
“Yeah,” Eddie said in a gruff but loud voice. “Right here!”
Well, that surprised me, because I didn't think Eddie was even a Christian, but who knew? So we all bowed our heads and prayed. I overheard some jabs from kids passing by, teasing us for our public display of faith. But I don't think anyone at our table cared. We just kept praying—praying with enthusiasm, going around the table several times before we finished with a hearty “amen.” Then I opened my eyes to see a girl I barely remembered from last year. She made a snooty face and said, “What is this, the church kids club? Are you going to sing a hymn now?”
Without smiling, I looked directly into her eyes. “We were praying for a friend of ours, Marissa Phillips; you might remember her. She graduated last year. But she was nearly killed in a wreck and is having brain surgery today.” I paused for effect. “Maybe you'll want to pray for her too.”
The girl seemed slightly shocked, but she just nodded and quickly moved away. Then Dominic gave me a little thumbs-up, and Eddie smiled ever so slightly.
I went straight to the hospital after school, but when I went to Marissa's room in ICU, the bed was empty. Her surgery had to be done by now, and suddenly I felt very afraid. What if something went wrong? What if Marissa was—
“Are you looking for Marissa?” It was Carmen, the older nurse who's been so encouraging.
“Yes. Where is she? Is she okay?”
The nurse smiled. “The surgery went well. She was in recovery for several hours, but her condition was stable enough that she's been moved to the regular inpatient unit.”
“Is she conscious?” I asked hopefully.
Carmen shook her head. “No, not yet. But the surgery went well, so maybe…in time…” She told me Marissa's room number, and I went to the third floor and found her room. Mr. Phillips was just coming out.
“Oh, Maya.” He seemed relieved to see me.
“How is she?”
He sighed. “She seems the same…but they say the surgery went as well as possible.”
“Maybe it takes time.”
He nodded. “Do you want to visit her while I get something to eat?”
“Sure.”
“Her mother went back home about an hour after the surgery.”
“Oh…” I knew he hadn't been that pleased when Marissa's mother had shown up, and he was probably glad that she was gone now. I had one brief conversation with her, and I could tell she felt guilty. I didn't think she'd be here long.
“I'll be back in about an hour,” Mr. Phillips told me.
So I went into Marissa's new room. It was a relief to see her in a less intensive-looking place. Oh, she still had tubes and machines, and her head was bandaged, but she looked slightly more peaceful. That seems like a weird way to describe her, but she did look peaceful.
As usual, I just began talking to her. I told her about the first day of school, how we'd prayed for her and kids had made fun of us. “Kind of like you would've done,” I said. “You've taken your share of potshots at Christians.” I kind of laughed. “Not that I blame you. I've felt the same way. But just because Christians aren't perfect doesn't mean that God's not perfect. And He probably gets frustrated at the way we act sometimes. Or maybe, because He's God, He doesn't get frustrated.” So I rambled on and on. Then when I knew my hour was coming to an end, I took her hand.
“Marissa, I really do love you.” This is how I usually end our time. “And sometimes I feel guilty that I haven't been a better friend to you, but as you know, I'm not perfect either. I really do believe your life is in God's hands now because everyone is praying for you and because God loves you. And so I'm not going to worry about you—I'm just going to keep praying.”
As I said this, I felt what seemed like the tiniest twitch of her fingers. “Did you just squeeze my hand? Can you hear me, Marissa?” I waited, and the tiny squeeze happened again. It was not a coincidence!
Just then her dad came back, and I told him what had happened. And it was so cool to see his eyes light up. “You think she can hear you?”
“I think so.”
Now he came over and took her hand. “Marissa, sweetheart, can you hear me? I want you to know how much I love you. I want you to know that I will never try to force you to be something you aren't. I will accept you for who you are. Can you hear me?”
Then he looked over at me with a huge smile. “She squeezed my hand!”
And although that's all we got from her this afternoon—a gentle squeeze of the hand—I believe it's the beginning. I believe she's coming back. And I believe that God is doing a miracle.
Now I've come to the last page of this diary, and although it's hard to end this volume while my friend still hangs in the balance, I feel certain that, one way or another, Marissa is going to be okay. I can't even explain why I feel so sure, whether it's because of the hand squeeze or simply because I know God is at work. But I do believe God is up to something—something big. I expect something miraculous is going to happen with Marissa, and I know something miraculous is happening in me. And I feel very hopeful for the school year ahead of me. Oh, I know there will be more bumps in the road, but with God at the wheel, it'll be a great ride.
Maya's Green Tip for the Day
Don't forget that God is the Great Recycler. He can recycle your heartache into strength. He can recycle a hurt relationship into a healthy one. He can recycle your lostness into being found. He can recycle your strife into peace. And He is ready to recycle whatever you want to give Him. So what are you waiting for?
After becoming a Christian, Maya wants to change. What motivates you to make changes in your life?
Why do you think Maya is more comfortable with Marissa than some of her Christian “friends”?
As a believer, Maya is as committed as ever to being green. How do you feel about conservation? What steps do you take to help care for the planet?
Why is it so important for Maya to meet regularly with Caitlin? Have you ever been involved in a mentoring relationship? Explain.
Maya doesn't like that Marissa parties and drinks, yet she continues to be friends with her. Do you think that's okay? Why or why not?
Do you think Maya was right to break up with Dominic? Why or why not?
Maya doesn't really want to have any contact with her mom, Shannon. If you were Maya's friend, how would you advise her?
Brooke is a piece of work and a huge challenge for Maya. Do you have anyone like Brooke in your life? If so, how do you deal with him or her?
Maya is still undecided about seeking emancipation from her parents. What would you do if you were in her shoes?
Were you surprised when Marissa was seriously injured in the car wreck? What do you think is going to happen to her now? Why?
IT'S A GREEN THING
PUBLISHED BY MULTNOMAH BOOKS
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Scripture quotations on pages 55 and 59 are taken from the Contemporary English Version. Copyright © 1991, 1992, 1995 by American Bible Society. Used by permission. The other Scripture quotation on page 55 is taken from God's Word, a copyrighted work of God's Word to the Nations Bible Society. Quotations are used by permission. Copyright 1995 by God's Word to the Nations. All rights reserved.
Italics in Scripture quotations reflect the author's added emphasis.
The characters and events in this book are fictional, and any resemblance to actual persons or events is coincidental.
Copyright © 2009 by Carlson Management Co. Inc.
All rights reserved.
Published in the United States by WaterBrook Multnomah, an imprint of The Doubleday Publishing Group, a division of Random House Inc., New York.
MULTNOMAH and its mountain colophon are registered trademarks of Random House Inc.
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data Carlson, Melody.
It's a green thing: a novel / Melody Carlson.
p. cm. — (Diary of a teenage girl. Maya; book no. 2)
Summary: Maya writes in her journal about her new-found Christian faith as she struggles with relationship problems and her friend Marissa's partying and dangerous lifestyle. Each chapter ends with a “go green” tip.
eISBN: 978-1-60142-263-7
[1. Christian life—Fiction. 2. Interpersonal relations—Fiction. 3. Conduct of life—Fiction. 4. Diaries—Fiction.] I. Title. II. Title: It is a green thing.
PZ7.C216637Is 2009
[Fic]—dc22
2008037958
v3.0
Melody Carlson, It's a Green Thing
