I’m shaking. Absolutely trebling, and I can’t stand everyone looking at me like that. They’re staring at me like I have grown an extra head or something, which is kinda how I feel. I suppose to them I have always been the quiet one. Latesha, Zack’s assistant, in the corner never quite socializing with anyone. Not the one who they would ever suspect to make a sex tape on the boss’s computer. My reputation is wrecked.

  “I need to go,” I whisper to myself as I grab my hand bag. “I need to get out of here.”

  I don’t know if I will ever be able to come back, to be honest. I might need to smash my job interview at the end of the week, so I never have to look at these people again, I never have to see their judgements. They will talk about me behind my back whether I am here or not, so as far as I’m concerned, I might as well not be here to witness it. I won’t get any work done here anyway, Zack said I could go, so why wait?

  People who I have worked alongside for a while, but who have never really bothered with me until now, call out my name and try to get me to stay. But since I know they only want the gossip, that this isn’t out of care for me, I ignore them all and keep on running. I race out of the building entirely.

  As soon as the cool air washes over me, I grab my cell phone to call Trace because of course she’s my best friend and I need her more than ever right now. I need her advice and help… yet just before I call her, something stops me in my tracks. I don’t know if I should keep dragging Tracey in to this, affecting her work because of the issues that I have drawn up on myself. She doesn’t need this anymore than I do.

  I don’t call her. I brought myself in to this. She advised me against making the stupid video, she told me to be careful when going on a date with Zack, and I didn’t listen to her. I knew best and now I have to face the consequences of that alone. I have to deal with whatever comes my way.

  I walk idly, sinking my eyes low as I think about what could happen if this video gets leaked, if whatever Zack tries to do doesn’t work and Karen lets it out to the world. It will ensure that my whole existence is destroyed. Everyone will see it and know a side to me that I don’t want to let out. I won’t be able to get a job somewhere else, any new person I meet might see it, it will crush me. I won’t be able to escape it. That moment when I decided to do something sexy and cheeky just for myself will become my biggest regret.

  I don’t go home. There’s no way I want to be alone in my apartment. Especially since I am so freaked out about Karen finding me. If she can break in to the office and find that video of me, who else knows what she’s discovered. She might have my address and she might come back to destroy me some more. I don’t have the money for her, there isn’t a chance in hell that I ever will, and I don’t know how far she’ll go.

  Why can’t me and Zack have a bit of smooth sailing? Just one day to be happy would suit me.

  Eventually, without even directly realizing where I am headed, I end up outside of Zack’s home. I don’t know if he’s in there or not, or if she’s with him, but I find myself drifting towards the front door to knock up on it. I would rather be with Zack than dealing with this alone. I need him right now.

  Knock, knock. I rock back and forth anxiously as I wait for someone to answer. Knock, knock.

  But as the front door swings open, my stupidity hits me hard. Zack’s mother. Of course, she’s the one here. I know that about his life now, that she looks after Amelia while he’s at work, which is a problem. We hid away from her this morning, we decided to keep us a secret, and now it’s out in the open.

  “Latesha?” she guesses with a warmth to her tone. “Zack isn’t here right now, but please come in.”

  This wasn’t exactly in my plan, but the idea of being by myself is even worse, so I follow her inside all the way o the kitchen where she pours me a glass of hot tea. She can sense that I need it without even asking.

  “I can tell by the look on your face that something has upset you today, Latesha, and I can guess who.” She cocks a knowing eyebrow at me. “Karen, am I right? That woman has always been trouble, so this is no shock.”

  Zack did say that his mother warned him and he didn’t listen. She’s clearly a wiser person and he should have listened. I hope he learns his lesson after all of this because it’s too much drama for me.

  “I’m not going to ask you all the details,” she reassures me. “We have only just met and I’m sure you don’t want to spill everything to me right now. Particularly as I know how manipulative Karen can be. That woman always goes for the jugular and she will do what she can to destroy things for Zack. She doesn’t like him doing well and having it all when she walked out on him and lost it all.”

  “She wants money.” I might as well be honest about that much. “I told Zack not to engage with her or to give her anything, but he decided to go and meet with her anyway to sort this out.”

  Her lips set in to a thin line. “I might have guessed that something like this would happen. I knew she wasn’t here for Amelia. I’m just glad that she showed her true colors sooner rather than later.”

  “Granny…” All of a sudden, our conversation is interrupted by a small girl, I assume Amelia, enters the kitchen with a little smile on her face. She is a mini Zack which makes me smile immediately. A miracle considering the shitty day that I am already having. “Are you coming to finish playing with me?”

  “Oh sorry, sweet heart.” I see Zack’s mom light up as well. This girl is a ray of sun shine in everyone’s lives. No wonder Zack is so dedicated to her. “I have a guest at the moment. I’m having tea with Latesha.”

  “Tesha can play too.” Without any warning, she holds out her hand to me, accepting me far too easily in to her life. “Would you like to come and play the board game with us?”

  I glance at Zack’s mom who nods encouragingly at me. Actually, spending time in the company of this lovely little girl and playing games in the comfort of Zack’s family’s company might be the best distraction that I can have until he arrives, and I finally find out what’s going on. After all, sitting and waiting, teetering on the edge as my life might be being destroyed isn’t healthy. It makes me feel really sick.

  “Sounds good. Thank you very much. And your name is…?” I know but it feels polite to ask.

  “I’m Amelia.” Her face lights up. “And I am four years old. But I’ll be five soon.”

  “Wow, that’s lovely. Are you looking forward to being five?”

  Despite everything that’s going on in the rest of the world, I find myself in a little bubble of happiness in Zack’s home. Me and Amelia get on well. Since I don’t know anything about children, this is surprisingly easy, we seem to have a natural and easy bond between us. Deep down, I was incredibly worried about meeting Amelia, if me and Zack ever got to that point, but I had no reason to be panicked. She is wonderful and I think she likes me a lot. She is certainly laughing a lot at what I’m saying, and she seems to want me around.

  I honestly can’t understand how Karen could walk out on her daughter like she did. She seems terrifying and ruthless, but she must be very selfish as well. Amelia deserves so much better than her. Thankfully, she has her father who more than makes up for the lack of her mother. Her granny seems awesome as well.

  “Would you like to stay for lunch?” she eventually asks me once we’ve all finished playing the game and Amelia has put on a movie to watch. “I was going to make a salad if you’re interested?”

  “I don’t want to be any trouble…” She shakes her head at me. “Okay, then I will. Thank you.”

  I alternate between assisting making the lunch and drinks and watching specific parts of the film that Amelia wants me to see with her, feeling like I really fit in with these people more than I thought I might. This makes me really think about a future with Zack, and not just in a fantasy type of way, but in a real way. The practicalities of our lives slotting together could be just perfect if everything else gets out of our way. If I leave the company to separate business and pleasure and I work somewhere else, if Zack finds a way to get Karen to leave us alone, if we still feel as strongly as we do for one another right now in the future.

  I could love him. I rest my hand on my chest during a second alone. I could really love this man…

  “I know that something has been going on between us and my son,” Zack’s mother finally declares, shaking me from my thoughts. “He hasn’t exactly told me, I think that he’s worried to let anyone else in after what Karen did to him and Amelia, but I also know that I haven’t ever seen him as happy as he is right now.”

  “Really?” A flood of warmth washes over me. “That’s nice to hear. He makes me happy as well…”

  “I think he will make you a lot happier once all of this drama is over. The timing has been crazy.” As she nods, I find my head bobbing along with her. “But if you guys can make it through this, then you’re on the right road to making to together. After meeting you and getting to know you somewhat, I really hope you do. I think the pair of you could be really perfect for one another. I definitely approve, which I wasn’t expecting.”

  We shouldn’t necessarily need his mother’s approval, but since her judgement is spot on and she’s a big part of Zack’s life, Amelia’s too, this statement makes me feel incredible and even more confident in what me and Zack share. If she thinks that we can make it, then maybe we really can. It’s great to have her belief.

  “I hope so,” I find myself whispering back. “I really do hope that you are right.”

  I dart my eyes towards the window, then the door, as if he’s going to stroll back in it in a heartbeat. Much as I’m enjoying myself here and I’m much more relaxed than I would be at home, I still can’t wait for him to him to get back to let us know what happened with Karen. I can only block the rest of the world out for so long, it’s going to come flooding back eventually and I will have to deal with it soon enough. Whatever is going to happen.

  Chapter 18 – Zack

  “A lawyer’s office?” Karen narrows her eyes suspiciously at me. “What the fuck is this? I assumed that we were going to meet at some café or another to share a civilized coffee while you give me my money.”

  “You took the civilization out of it the moment you threatened Latesha,” I warn her. “And you will get your money, you don’t need to worry about that. But I want something from this arrangement as well.”

  She folds her arms defensively across her chest and stares at me defiantly. “What could you want from me? Don’t you have it all? The big house? The company? The slutty girlfriend? All the money in the world?”

  “And my daughter,” I reply firmly. “I don’t know if you have forgotten about her, but Amelia is the reason you acted like you were here, right? You pretended that you wanted to spend time with her.”

  “You contacted me, remember? You found some way to get my details. I didn’t come for you. You are the one who wanted me to get back in that kid’s life. I never really wanted that.” She shrugs in a disgustingly blasé manner. “I have too much of my own shit going on to worry about anyone else. You know that.”

  My blood runs ice cold. I can’t believe that she would be so callous, that she could speak about anyone like this, never mind the child that she gave birth to. Where are her maternal instincts? Her family bonds? Why doesn’t she care about Amelia at all? I do wish that I could change that for my daughter’s sake, but I can’t. What Karen feels and does is on her, all I can do is find a way to make it better for Amelia.

  “Right, so you will always be too busy for Amelia.” I pause but she says nothing, confirming everything. “In which case, if you want your money, and more than you asked for, then I want you to sign some documents.”

  “How much?” she shoots back immediately, focusing on the one part she cares about.

  “A million dollars.” It sickens me to give her so much when she doesn’t deserve it because it will mean that she is getting what she wants and by sitting back, life is being handed to her, but it’s for the best. “And the documents that you need to sign for that money will be you giving up any parental rights. Forever.” I need her to know just how serious this is. “This will be a legal document that there is no turning back on. It means no coming back to this time, no trying to contact Amelia, no coming to me or anyone else in my life for more money.”

  “For a million?” she smirks. “Sure. I will sign whatever you need me to. Let’s go in to the office, right?”

  I’m stunned. I guess it shouldn’t be a surprise to hear Karen so readily agreeing to give her daughter up when she has never been around for Amelia, but here she is doing just that. The only positive thing that can come from this now is the knowledge that I will never ever have to lay eyes on her again. She will be gone for good. There won’t be any more tricking me once more and I will know that I tried my best. I did everything that I could.

  “Right, sure. Let’s go inside. Everything is in there waiting for you. Including the check.”

  Karen might as well skip in to the office because she’s so excited to get the money. The lawyer will explain everything to her again in more detail making sure that she fully understands what she is signing away, but I have no doubt that she’ll sign it anyway and this will be done for. A bitter sweet moment, I’m sure.

  Eventually, I follow her inside, and we close the door behind us, to finally get this done.

  ***

  Karen leaves before me, running off with the money that she will either use to start a new and good life for herself or that she will blow and destroy her life all over again. I don’t know and I don’t care either. She isn’t my problem anymore and she won’t be again. It’s been an expensive mistake, adding in Terry’s fees on top of the million dollars to get rid of her, but I have closure now. I know for sure… but I have to admit that I am sad.

  Eventually I stuff my hands in to my pockets and I wander over to my car. I have been out of the office for hours now and I don’t really want to go back. I’m not in the mood to face anyone. Instead, I’m going to go home to tell my mother everything that’s happened, to let her know that she was right after all, and then I will find Latesha and I will check that she’s okay once more. She has been dragged in to this mess again and I feel bad for her. I just hope this doesn’t result in her wanting to walk away from me for good.

  The drive home feels long, almost torturous. I hit every single red light along the way, which seems to be fate’s intervention, trying to give me the time I need to calm down. I am emotional and freaked out, today has been draining for me. Karen has done a number on me and my family… but we will rise from the ashes like a phoenix and we will be better off without her. To be honest, we have been fine without her for all of this time, so there is absolutely no reason why we can’t carry on with that. Her dark shadow won’t even remain in the corner of my mind now because I have to law on my side. She won’t be coming back. She values her freedom too much.

  “Mom, I’m home,” I call through the front door as I walk inside, weary and a little broken. “I need to talk…”

  Mom’s eyes are shining as she meets me in the hallway. She looks like she might have something herself that she wants to discuss which is only going to make this day even more overwhelming.

  “Latesha is here,” she half whispers at me. “She is in the living room with Amelia at the moment so we can have the time to talk. You have been dealing with Karen, haven’t you? What happened?”

  “Latesha?” I push passed my mom, needing to see this for myself. And there she is, just like she said. Latesha is sitting with Amelia, reading a story to her as my daughter cuddles up in her lap. They look like they have known one another for years and that they have a really tight bond. Amelia is clearly happy. “Oh, wow.”

  “I know.” Mom grabs my arm and pulls me away. “They get on so well. She came here earlier today wanting to know how you got on with Karen, so I invited her in to wait for you. I wanted to get to know her.”

  “And what do you think?” This is all a bit mental, but this feels like the most prominent question.

  “She is wonderful. I adore her.” Mom claps her hands together in glee, making me laugh. I haven’t ever seen her this excited about anyone before. Latesha has made her mark in a positive way, just as I thought she might. But it’s Amelia’s reaction which is even more telling. That is wonderful. If my daughter took an instant dislike to her then it would end things immediately. There wouldn’t be any coming back from that. “And she is wonderful with Amelia as well. Your daughter is quite taken with her, and I think that you are as well.”

  I nod without hesitation. We didn’t even last one whole day with keeping us a secret. Karen is responsible for that, she has basically forced us out of the closet before we are ready for it, but she has done us a favor as well. If my family is happy for us to spend time together then nothing else matters. As for the office… well, I can deal with my staff at a later date. As long as the gossip doesn’t affect the productivity of the office then I don’t care what they say. Latesha can make her own decisions on what she wants to do. My main priority is that she stays with me. I finally feel like I have her now and I never want to lose her again. She means too much to me.

  “So, you approve then?” I smile at my mother. “You like her? This she’s good for me?”

  “She is incredible for you. You might not be good enough for her!” Mom teases, making the pair of us laugh. “I think the pair of you could be really good together. I think you fit well together.”

  Me and Mom then move away from the living room where I can finally explain everything to her. I don’t give the details of the video because there are some details that don’t need to be shared and my mother doesn’t ask, but I let her know about the money and the fact that Karen only wanted that from me.

  “I should have known,” Mom scoffs. “She was always a gold digger, that one. Money is all she cares about.”

  “Well, she got her money,” I tell Mom quickly. “But I made her sign some legal documents first. Not only is she not allowed anywhere near our family anymore, she has also signed over her parental rights, so I don’t ever need to worry about her coming back and trying to come back in to Amelia’s life when she isn’t wanted, because there is no way that she will be consistent and a good role model for my child. Amelia needs more.”