I was not the kind of man who paced, and yet here I was—lingering at the door to her building, wearing holes in the pavement while I went back and forth. I glanced at my watch for what felt like the fiftieth time. Nine minutes past seven.

  Not once had I been stood up and I refused to even entertain the thought of being stood up by my twenty-two-year-old virgin employee. Fuck no.

  But damn it if I couldn’t feel another blow to my ego with every minute that passed.

  The loud clatter of the door opening dragged my attention from the sidewalk and I whipped my head to face her, feeling relief spread through my body as she hurriedly rushed over.

  “I’m so sorry! I was getting ready and the stupid clock in my hallway is slow and I didn’t realize it until I pulled out my phone and I’m so, so sorry to keep you waiting.”

  I heard the words as she spoke them, but they didn’t immediately click in my mind. No, I was far too busy staring at her like I had never seen a woman before.

  Her long, dark hair was down and flowing in soft curls. Her lips were glossy and pink while the rest of her face looked bare to my eyes. Her lacy dress showed the tops of her breasts and hung a few inches above her knees, giving me a flash of thigh when the wind blew.

  The irony of her dress being white wasn’t lost on me. Nor was the fact that she was completely oblivious to what her appearance was doing to me.

  She looked so fucking perfect it hurt. So innocent.

  I wanted to tear her clothes off with my teeth and fuck her on the sidewalk.

  “Ready to go?” I asked in a daze.

  I was seriously torn between feeling like the luckiest man on earth and feeling tortured. She might have been the sexiest woman I’d ever seen, but as I already knew, I stood no chance of peeling that dress off.

  The next few hours were bound to be a brutal combination of Heaven and Hell.

  During the ride to the restaurant, it became more clear than ever that Mallory had no idea what kind of effect she had on men.

  Her body was twisted toward me and she crossed and uncrossed her legs over and over again. I might have respected the fact that I wouldn’t have her that night, but I was no saint.

  I peeked enough times to catch a flash of her panties. Leave it to her to change my favorite color on a woman from red to white.

  “So, what got you into publishing in the first place?”

  “I’ve always loved reading,” I said as I snapped out of my panties-induced trance. “Like I said before, I was pretty awkward in my early twenties. More so as a teenager. Books were my escape.”

  “I thought boys were supposed to spend their early years playing video games,” she noted with a musical laugh. “Or... you know.”

  “Or what?”

  “Watching porn.”

  The way she whispered it so scandalously made me laugh out loud. Her blush said she was embarrassed, but she laughed along with me.

  “Well I was born before the internet craze, remember? And while video games were around, my father would never waste money on anything like that.”

  “But he’d get you books?”

  “No. Every month, my mom would plan an elaborate day of yard sale shopping. She’d take me and my sister and give us an allotted amount to spend. It was our family’s version of an allowance. I’d get as many books as I possibly could.”

  “What’d your sister get?”

  I raised my eyebrows, surprised that she was interested enough in the story about my childhood to ask questions. I’d never shared that particular fact with anyone before. It was fairly well known that I didn’t come from a wealthy family, but nobody really knew the extent of it.

  Then again, nobody ever cared enough to ask.

  “She’d bank it up. She’d jot down the amount every month until she could afford to get what she really wanted.”

  “Which was?”

  “A piano. My mom couldn’t believe we managed to find one, but we did.”

  Mallory smiled and the sight of it brought me back to the day we loaded that piano on our neighbor’s trailer to take it home. I could vaguely recall how much trouble we had getting it into the house, but I’d never forgotten the matching smiles that my mom and sister wore. It was one of the greatest nights as a family we had before my father passed away.

  “Does she still play?”

  “She teaches it, actually. On that very same piano. It’s been fully restored since then, though. It was one of the first things I spent the money on after the company turned a profit.”

  That had been a good day as well. Back when Jeremy was only an energetic toddler and my mom was still well enough to travel. In an effort to keep from lingering on the thought of my mother, I flipped the conversation around.

  “And what about you? I hear you’re striving to become an editor.”

  Mallory frowned and shifted her legs again. I sucked my lower lip between my teeth and bit down to keep from groaning while I directed my eyes out the window.

  “I didn’t put that on my application,” she said slowly, her eyebrows furrowing together even more. “And I’m pretty sure I never mentioned that to Janice, either.”

  I recognized my mistake as soon as her suspicious eyes narrowed. My only options were to lie out of my ass or fess up. Though it pained me to admit, I didn’t want to lie to her.

  “I spoke to a few of your professors,” I said casually, hoping she’d accept my response and let it go. It’s not like it was unusual for an employer to vet their potential employees.

  “Do you do that will all of your employees?”

  Fuck.

  If I honestly believed she was fishing in an attempt to gauge my interest or catch me in a lie, I’d be pissed off—and rightly so. But one look at her puzzled expression and I could tell that she was genuinely curious.

  “Not once,” I admitted. “Well, I guess it’s once now. Special circumstances.”

  Her weight moved the seat, only this time, she was shuffling just slightly closer to me. Her brow was still drawn together in confusion, but her lips were curled in a disbelieving smile.

  “Was that before or after we spoke on Monday?”

  Since she seemed to be responding well to brutal honesty, I decided to continue the trend.

  “Before. And just in case you’re wondering—yes, you’re the first employee I’ve ever gone out with.”

  “How did you know?”

  I shrugged. “It was a safe bet. I know it’d be on my mind if the roles were reversed.”

  “Has anyone ever tried?”

  “Sure. But I have the rules in place for a reason. It’s also a good excuse to avoid the awkward rejection conversation. I don’t date much. Don’t have the time for it.”

  Mallory cocked her head to the side, regarding me warily as she asked, “Then why are you here?”

  “For you, I’ll make time.”

  7

  Mallory

  ‘For you, I’ll make time.’

  The sentence replayed in my head during the rest of the date. Not only the words themselves, but the intense look he fixed me with as he said them and the smile that followed. It was something I knew I’d never forget. A shift that’d stick with me forever.

  The first pang of a potential love.

  Brian didn’t strike me as a romantic kind of guy, but I somehow knew he would understand my feelings. Not that I dared to mention them yet. All I could do was hang on to the feeling and hope that one day, we could look back on this together and agree that it was the moment where we really began.

  Either that or I was as naive as some people thought I was. But I didn’t care. Not when I found someone who made me so happy.

  When he asked the driver to stop a block away from my apartment so we could walk together, I was pleasantly surprised.

  When his fingers linked with mine, I started to realize that I might have been wrong in my assumption about him not being romantic.

  “This is nice,” I said, laughing with glee as he swung my hand in an exaggerated fashion. “Best first date I’ve ever been on.”

  “Really?”

  “Really,” I confirmed with a smile. I reluctantly let go of his hand to take two steps up onto my stoop and turned around to face him, grateful to be the one looking down at him for once. I loved tall men, but my neck was sore. “No contest.”

  Brian sucked his bottom lip between his teeth and propped one foot on the step. He shoved his hands in his pocket and leaned close as he whispered, “So what’s a man got to do to get a second date with you?”

  My heart fluttered wildly at the prospect. Not just because he wanted a second date, but because he was asking what he needed to do to ensure he’d get one.

  The truth was, he didn’t have to do anything except ask. But why pass up such a perfect opportunity to get what I had been aching for all night?

  “Well...” I started, raising my hand and concentrating hard on keeping my fingers from shaking as I rested my palm on the side of his neck. “You could kiss me.”

  No sooner had the words left my mouth and he was pulling himself up to the step below me, his fingers weaving into my hair while his lips captured mine in a searing kiss.

  A lot of things happened all at once. Or at least that’s what it felt like to me.

  First, I gasped against his lips—not because I had never been kissed before, but because I had never been kissed like that. Brian was different from the other guys I had dated in a lot of ways—and every single difference became crystal clear as he kissed me in the way that a man should always kiss a woman.

  The next thing that happened was one of his hands left my hair and curled around my waist. I could feel his palm flatten out on the small of my back just before he jerked forward and pulled my body against his. I teetered on my heels and a surge of adrenaline rushed through me, turning into a white-hot jolt of lust when I realized he wasn’t going to let me fall. Not when there was a wall of solid muscle pressed up against me.

  I moaned at the feel of his body and he used the opportunity to slide his tongue into my mouth, caressing mine with a finesse I didn’t expect. I’d never been a fan of it before, but Brian clearly had more experience with doing things right than anyone I had ever kissed.

  In the back of my mind, I heard a whisper that he’d surely know how to do other things right as well. That was the thought that led to me clutching at his shoulders and digging my nails in.

  Brian broke the kiss and buried his face against my shoulder, letting out a low growl while he kissed up my neck until he reached my jaw. I moaned low in my throat as he nipped at me with his lips, on the verge of saying to hell with it all and inviting him upstairs to see what else he could show me.

  “Look at them.”

  “Get a room!”

  “Oh my God, you didn’t!”

  The chatter of a group of passing teenagers broke the spell. Brian went tense as my eyes popped open and I felt rather than heard his sigh of disappointment just before I pulled away.

  “I... Thank you,” I said shakily, running my hands over my hair in an attempt to force it back into place. “For the date. And the kiss.”

  He nodded and stepped back to his previous position, one foot on the sidewalk and the other on the step. An obvious sign that he was willing to either stay or go.

  When I looked into his eyes, I could see his desperation to stay. But deep down, a part of me was grateful for the random pedestrians. No matter how good the kiss was, some part of me still wasn’t ready. At least not tonight.

  “I’d really like that second date if you’re still interested,” I whispered.

  Brian gave me a small smile as he said, “I’m very interested.”

  I returned the smile and gave him a small nod before I began to turn away, but froze to the spot when he reached out and grabbed my hand. I swallowed hard as I looked at him, already dreading where this was going.

  “But I’d also like to continue this one. If you’re interested.”

  This wasn’t exactly a first date conversation. In college, most guys already knew, so I never had to have it at all. Very few stuck around long enough to get the explanation of why I wanted to wait, and those that did usually took off immediately after.

  I really didn’t want to lose my chance with Brian because of it.

  “It’s not that I’m not interested, it’s just... I don’t want to move too fast, you know?”

  “I know,” he said with a solemn tone that made my stomach flutter with nerves. As he stared me dead in the eye, he repeated, “Mallory, I know.”

  It clicked instantly and I tugged my hand away, more embarrassed than I had ever been before. I tried to escape up the steps, but Brian was hot on my heels, meeting me at the landing and stopping me before I got a chance to dig out my keys.

  “I’m not pushing you,” he said when he noticed the panicked look in my eyes. “I would never push you. I just—I need to know why.”

  “I can’t believe he told you,” I muttered miserably, glaring hard at the top of his shoes and willing myself not to tear up.

  “Forget what he told me. I want to hear it from you. I want the truth. Are you saving yourself for marriage?”

  “No. Not marriage.”

  “Then what are you waiting for?”

  “Love,” I snapped defiantly, looking up to stare at his chin as I explained, “I’m not looking for my soulmate or a husband or anything like that. I just don’t have any desire to be with someone that I don’t deeply care about and who feels the same way in return. Everyone’s always going on and on about how important sex is in a relationship—and I know that it is—but that’s not all relationships are. I want the whole thing. The complete experience. I want love and there is nothing wrong with me because of that.”

  After I finished my tirade, I dared to look up at his eyes. To my great surprise, he had cocked an eyebrow and was staring at me with the smallest smile tugging at the corners of his lips.

  He looked adorably handsome and despite everything—all I wanted in that moment was for him to kiss me again. But the possibility that he might walk away remained and I was frozen while I waited for the inevitable let down.

  “I understand,” he finally said with a nod, though I wasn’t sure if it was directed at me or himself. “Thank you for being honest with me.”

  There it was. He understood what I was saying and respected my honesty, but it wasn’t his scene. He needed sex. I’d heard it all before, only it had never caused quite this much pain.

  Brian stepped up again and leaned forward, pressing a chaste kiss to my lips for a long, lingering moment. When he pulled away, it was only to rest his forehead against mine. I cracked open my eyes to find his hooded ones watching me.

  I was a breath away from asking what he was doing when he finally whispered, “I’ll pick you up at noon.”

  “Wh-What?” I asked in shock, my mouth dropping open as I watched him spin on his heel and jog down the steps before he began strolling down the sidewalk.

  “Twelve o’clock tomorrow!” he called out, glancing over his shoulder to smirk at me as he held up two fingers. “Date number two!”

  I stared at his retreating form with equal parts shock and awe until he rounded the corner and disappeared from my field of vision. Still slightly dazed by the kiss, I hurriedly dug out my keys and barreled inside, leaning my back against the door as soon as it was shut behind me.

  It didn’t scare him away. Not only that, but we were going on another date.

  He might have resembled the big bad wolf on the surface, but I was starting to think that he was hiding Prince Charming underneath.

  8

  Brian

  If any other woman had said the words to me that Mallory did, I probably would’ve gone running for the hills.

  Waiting to fall in love before having sex? I understood the sentiment, sure, but it was also an invitation for a larger problem.

  Even she noted that she knew sex was an important part of a relationship and falling in love would make it that much harder to let go of the relationship if two people turned out to not be physically compatible. Love was all good and well, but a sexless romance wasn’t fun for anyone.

  Mallory was a smart girl. I knew that if I was to explain that to her, she would see the entire situation in a whole new light. Maybe even given up on her plight.

  But I didn’t want to. Mallory deserved to have anything she wanted, and if she wanted love from me… I was willing to give it a shot.

  Besides, there was no way we weren’t going to be compatible in bed. I could still feel the lingering electricity of our kiss well into the next day. It was so stuck in my mind that I couldn’t resist kissing her the moment she stepped out of her apartment at twelve o’clock on the dot.

  After getting that initial need out of the way, I tried to keep our second date as non-sexual as I possibly could. It was one of the main reasons I arranged the date to be during the day in the first place.

  The other reason was that I needed the light. I planned for our second date to be not only with each other, but also with the city.

  I’d been living in New York long enough for it to feel like home and I wanted Mallory to experience the same feeling. We chatted while the car drove us to the southern end of Manhattan where a helicopter was waiting to give us a private aerial tour of the city.

  It was an embarrassingly tourist-like thing to do, but her excitement made the whole thing well worth it. As did the way she clutched my thigh during the flight.

  After it was over, she admitted it was her first time in a helicopter. All I could think about was the million other firsts I wanted to show her.

  In order to keep my dick in my pants, we ate a light lunch and I ended the date there. She was obviously disappointed—something that gave me a great deal of pleasure—but I couldn’t risk scaring her off.

  Respecting her decision was one thing. Torturing myself for it was another. And even though I was willing to give it a try, I still had my limits.