“But he won’t be able to see what’s going on,” she said, obviously puzzled by the request. She paused for a moment. “Although he’s pretty groggy from the pain meds.”

  Laura didn’t want to explain her reasoning. She couldn’t bear for Mattie to see her on the ward. It was bad enough that he was probably waiting for the promised story.

  It was one of the longest shifts of her life. Shortly before she left, she stood just inside the door and looked toward the last bed on the right. Mattie always slept with a night light, and she could see the bottom half of his frail form, still and quiet underneath the bedclothes. Then she turned and left, eyes burning with unshed tears.

  Chapter Seven

  The phone rang around eight the next morning. Laura grabbed it, groggy with sleep.

  “Hello?” She couldn’t imagine who would be bothering her. All of her friends knew her schedule.

  “Laura, it’s Rachel.” Something in the Head Nurse’s tone alarmed her and she swung her feet out of bed, immediately alert. “I thought you’d want to know, but Mattie died early this morning.”

  Laura’s heart plummeted. It was a good thing she was sitting down, as her head started to spin. Mattie? Dead? She held the phone to her ear, not saying anything. In the background, she could hear the hospital PA system, the words vague and unformed like the thoughts in her mind.

  Rachel spoke again. “I’m sorry, kiddo. If you want me to find someone else to fill in for you this afternoon, I can.”

  The last thing Laura wanted to do was be alone. “No, I’ll be okay, but thanks for the offer.”

  “Are you sure?” She could hear the concern in her supervisor’s voice.

  “Yeah, I’m fine,” she lied. How could she be fine when a child was taken like that? It made no sense. “I’ll be in for my usual shift.”

  * * *

  “Laura, you look terrible.”

  She looked up. Stew was pulling out the chair on the other side of the table and sitting down. She didn’t remember coming down to the cafeteria. She had to pull herself together before she made a serious mistake.

  “I heard about your patient. Sorry.”

  She looked up. “Mattie.”

  “Yeah, whatever.”

  At that moment, she hated him. It was one thing not to become too involved with your patients, but indifference was another thing entirely.

  “Why should you care? He’s just another statistic, right?” She wasn’t being fair and she knew it.

  “Laura.” He reached out and briefly touched her hand. “You’re losing your perspective here.”

  He was right, but knowing that didn’t help. “I was supposed to read to him last night, but his mother resented the fact that I spent time with him.” She felt tears running down her face but did nothing to stop them. “I don’t think I’ll ever forgive myself for not going to him anyway.”

  “Laura.” He was talking to her as if she were a child. “Pull yourself together.”

  She stared down into her coffee. “I can’t, Stew. Nothing seems to make sense anymore.”

  He stood up abruptly. “Come with me.”

  She frowned. “Wha...?”

  “Just come with me.” He took her arm and propelled her down the hall and into a deserted alcove by the Imaging Department. “Listen, I’m going to give you something to help you get through your shift.” He reached into his pocket and came up with a small silver vial. She’d never seen it before. He shook out a pink oval pill. “Can you swallow without water?”

  She nodded.

  “Then take this.”

  She did and he tipped out several more. “You may need to take them for a few days; at least until you’re feeling more stable. You’ll know when you need one.”

  He gave her a quick hug. “You’re going to be fine, sweetheart.” His pager vibrated and he checked the message. “Gotta run. See you later.”

  And that was how it started. Looking back now, sitting here on the edge of the lake, it was easy to see how her addiction had progressed. Of course she’d been a prime target. She wasn’t like those street people, she’d told herself. The ones brought into the ER by the paramedics, gaunt, filthy and near death. She was only taking the drugs to get her over a rough spot. Soon she wouldn’t need them anymore.

  They made her feel amazing, like she could conquer anything. With a little help from those magical, pastel-coloured pills, she was able to forget how she had failed Mattie, how she had left him alone on the last night of his life, waiting for her. When the pain came creeping back, all it took was another pill to smooth out the rough edges and she was invincible once again.

  She took a variety of drugs, depending on what she could score. The names of the drugs didn’t matter as long as they blissed her out. Even back then, she’d considered herself an equal opportunity abuser...a phrase that had seemed amusing at the time.

  Then she’d walked in on Stew with the student nurse and had added alcohol to the mix, after which her life spiralled out of control. Was it any wonder she’d ended up here, in a rehab center on Vancouver Island?

  Her hand closed around the coffee cup. It was cold now, and she poured it out, watching the liquid soak into the lawn. Maybe one day her memories would disappear like that. Somehow, she doubted it.

  * * *

  “Laura, I’d like you to meet my husband.”

  She recognized Delores’ voice and stood up. The older woman was with a man who appeared to be in his sixties. Frank was shorter than she’d imagined he would be, and barrel-chested, but he had a warm, genuine smile. Laura noticed that he was holding his wife’s hand.

  “I’m pleased to meet you.” He extended his free hand and Laura took it. His handshake was firm, but brief. “I understand you and my wife have become friends.”

  Laura smiled at Delores. Together, they had coloured the older woman’s hair, changing it to a soft, ash blonde, streaked with highlights. Her makeup had been toned down as well, changing her appearance from harsh and brassy to poised and professional.

  Delores spoke. “We’ve been talking about what we’ll do when I get out of here. Frank thinks we should take a cruise.” She looked into her husband’s eyes. “I had no idea he’s always wanted to see the Panama Canal.”

  “Sounds great.” Laura didn’t need to fake her enthusiasm.

  “And when we get back, I’m going to work in the office with Frank. He hates the paperwork involved with listings, and I’m good at that.”

  Frank spoke proudly. “It’ll be great to have someone I know I can rely on.” He missed the quick, conspiratorial look between the two women. “I can hardly wait until she comes home.”

  The couple sauntered toward the parking lot, still arm in arm and Laura watched them go. She may not be the best judge of character where her love life was involved, but even a blind man could see that Frank loved his wife.

  Only a few visitors remained by the time she went back to her room. She walked slowly, surprised that she wasn’t more upset by Rachel’s visit. That was a positive sign, and she opened the door to her shared bedroom with a smile on her lips.

  “Hi.” Faith sat cross-legged on the bed. “I was hoping you’d get to visit my mom, but I couldn’t find you when she was leaving.”

  “I was down by the lake.” She was thankful that her roommate hadn’t seen her with Rachel. “Did you have a good visit?”

  “Yes, I did.” She looked up, suddenly shy. “Thanks to you.”

  “No, no. You’re the one who talked to her.”

  “Yeah, well that’s just it. We actually talked this time. It was great.” Faith ripped a stick of gum in half and offered part to Laura. “You know how they warn us not to go back to the same environment where we got into trouble?” She popped the gum into her mouth.

  Laura nodded.

  “Well, Mom has been in touch with a place where they take people fresh out of rehab. It’s a winery in the Okanagan, and they employ people who need a little extra time to straighten out.”

  “A winery?” Laura unwrapped the gum. “Isn’t that a bit dangerous? Addicts around alcohol?”

  Faith raised her shoulders. “I see what you mean, but it sounds perfect for me. Booze was never my problem. I don’t even like it.”

  The idea was intriguing. “So what would you be doing?”

  “Apparently they have a variety of positions. They operate a restaurant, and they have a wine and souvenir shop.” She paused. “I don’t think I’d be very good at that, but they also have guest accommodations, which need to be cleaned every day, and there’s all the outside work as well.”

  “Sounds interesting.” Laura hadn’t given much thought to what she would do after rehab, holding on to the hope that she could go back to the hospital. It was clear now...that wasn’t going to happen.

  “Do you have any information?”

  Faith’s face mirrored her dismay. “Sorry, I don’t. Just what Mom told me.” She brightened. “Tell you what, though. I’ll call her in the next couple of days and find out. I won’t be leaving here for a couple of weeks. When will you be checking out?”

  “Right about then.” The more she thought about it, the more Laura liked the idea of working at a winery...no matter how hard the work. Besides, it was closer to Jenna. “When you hear from your mom I hope you don’t mind if I make inquiries too.”

  “Are you kidding?” Faith gave a little bounce on the bed. “It would be awesome.”

  * * *

  “I checked out that winery place.” Laura’s counsellor sat back in his chair. “It sounds like a great place, but you’re on your own there. They’ll have nothing to do with your ongoing recovery.”

  Laura tried not to show her relief. Since coming here, she’d been reminded every day that she was an intensely private person. Digging into her life had been excruciating. “So what’s the deal?”

  “The winery is owned by a fairly young couple. Early thirties, I’d say.”

  “Any kids?” Laura wasn’t ready to be around children. Not yet.

  “No, I don’t believe so. The story is that the woman’s brother was in rehab and no-one would give him a job when he got out. I suppose you could say it’s her way of paying it forward.” The counsellor looked down at his notes. “They have several positions you might like to consider, but they’re all far below your skills level.” He sat back, toyed with a pen. “Having said that, I think it might be good for you. You’ve indicated that you don’t want to go back to your place in Vancouver.”

  Laura nodded. “Not yet, anyway. Maybe never. And as for the work, I can’t think of any job they might have that I wouldn’t do.” She reminded herself that she wasn’t asking his permission – just sounding him out.

  He seemed to read her thoughts. “Then I think you’ve made a good choice.” He stood up and held out his hand. “Good luck with it.”

  They shook hands and he walked her to the door. “I understand that you and Faith are going together.”

  “Yes. She’s the one who told me about it. We’re going to stay on site and share a room.”

  He nodded. “Well, good luck to both of you.”

  “Thanks.” Laura headed for the dining room, picked up a bowl of soup and was waved over by Delores.

  “I hear you’re leaving tomorrow. I’ll be sorry to see you go.”

  “Thanks.” Laura smiled at the older woman who was barely recognizable as the woman she’d first met. “But you’ll be leaving yourself in a few days.” She took a spoonful of soup. “You look great, by the way.”

  “Thanks, so do you.” She lowered her voice. “I recognized you right away, you know. You used to model, didn’t you?”

  Laura nodded.

  The spark in Delores’ eyes dimmed for a moment, and then brightened again. “My daughter Ashley used to love that clothing line; that’s why I knew it was you.” She glanced around the room. “No one else seemed to recognize you, but I wanted to tell you that I did, and thank you again for everything you did for me.”

  “You’re welcome.” Laura tore a chunk from a crusty roll and dunked in it her soup. “I can’t believe I’m eating like this, but everything tastes so good these days.”

  Delores eyed her critically. “You were so thin when you got here, but at least you have a few curves now. You’ll have men falling all over you.”

  “No thanks.” Laura couldn’t imagine anything less appealing. “That’s the last thing I’m interested in right now.”

  Delores smiled a knowing smile. “Good luck with that.”

  * * *

  Bradley had been right, but it didn’t give him any satisfaction. Only one of the young men from rehab remained, leaving them short-staffed.

  “I don’t know,” Matt said. “This idea of Candy’s just isn’t working. I’m not looking forward to telling her that.”

  Tough when you can’t rely on them Bradley typed into his BlackBerry.

  “Yeah, it is, but somehow Candy doesn’t see that.” He glanced up toward the large building. “In fairness to her, she’s busy doing her thing at the restaurant and taking care of the guest accommodations.” He looked off into the distance. “There are two more people coming today from a place on Vancouver Island. She’s all excited.”

  Bradley typed. Like V.I. has a better class of addicts?

  Matt laughed at that. “I don’t know, but this is going to be interesting. They’re women.”

  Bradley frowned. Of course women got addicted too, but he hadn’t considered them coming here to work.

  “Yeah, tell me about it. But Candy’s been having trouble keeping chambermaids. One of them quit yesterday and she had to do the rooms herself today along with one of the girls who temps at the restaurant. They all want more glamorous jobs these days.” He shrugged. “So that’s good for her, but it doesn’t help us very much. Are you up for working a couple of extra hours a day until I get some more help?”

  Bradley nodded. Lots of daylight, he typed, referring to the longer hours of daylight in the summer.

  “Just don’t go getting involved,” said Matt, trying to look serious. “They’ll be in the picker’s cabin on the opposite end from yours and you might have trouble getting away from them once they get a taste of the old Jamieson charm.”

  Women... typed Bradley...last thing on my mind.

  Chapter Eight

  Laura went ahead to Vancouver, picked up her car and was waiting for Faith when she walked off the ferry the next morning. It was odd, being out in public again and neither felt the need to talk as they drove through Manning Park and down into Princeton.

  “I’d forgotten how beautiful it is here,” Laura said as they felt the first blast of heat in the Okanagan Valley. She looked across the lake at the deep sand deposits lining the shore, furrowed by years of weathering. “It’s like a geology lesson but without the books.”

  “It feels good to be home again.” Faith had opened her window and was breathing in the sage-scented air.

  “That’s right, your Mom just lives about an hour north of here. Will she come to visit you, do you think?”

  “No.” Faith closed the window and turned to Laura. “She says she has faith in me, if you’ll pardon the pun, and she’s going to leave it up to me to go and visit her when I’m ready.”

  “That’s good, isn’t it?”

  “Yes, that’s excellent.”

  They continued in silence for a while, content to admire the scenery. On the outskirts of Oliver, wine country started in earnest.

  “My gosh,” said Laura, grateful that the traffic had slowed. “The vines go on forever.” On a hill to their right, stumps of fruit trees were being torn out while bundles of green-tinted poles waited alongside the fields, confirmation that the land would soon be planted with grapes. The valley was blanketed with vineyards, and to Laura’s eye the distant hills appeared to be covered in green corduroy. “It’s an eco-friendly industry,” she said, lowering her window. “I like that. I think I’m going to enjoy this.”

  * * *

  Candy Peterson greeted them warmly. “I’m so glad to see you,” she enthused, shaking their hands. “Laura, you can park your car over there, beside the maintenance shed and then I’ll show you where you’ll be staying.”

  “It isn’t fancy or anything,” she said, opening the door to the picker’s cabin. “But it’s clean and comfortable.”

  The two women looked around. “It’s fine,” they said at the same time.

  “Besides,” continued Laura. “It’s only until fall, right?”

  “Well, things certainly do slow down after Labour Day.” Candy checked the bathroom. “But the restaurant and the guest suites are open year round. Come on” she said, “I’ll show you where you get your meals.”

  Laura took in the staff room below the restaurant. Someone had stuck wildflowers in a couple of inexpensive bud vases, lending it a homey air. In one corner a laptop sat on a small table. It was open, the screensaver swirling hypnotically.

  “How many people actually live on site?” Laura asked.

  Candy paused to think. “Five, including you two. There’s Massimo, our wine maker, Jason, who works with my husband, and a friend of my husband’s from Vancouver Island.”

  “We just came from there,” said Faith. “These other guys, are they from rehab too?”

  Laura was glad that Faith had asked the question; she was curious herself.

  Candy hesitated. “I suppose I can tell you. You’re going to find out anyway. Only Jason. He came from a rehab centre on the lower mainland.”

  “Well it’s good of you to give us a place to stay. What sort of work would you like us to do?” Laura indicated both herself and Faith.

  “There’s a lot to do, but right now I need chambermaids and general cleanup help.” Candy frowned. “Not very exciting, I’m afraid.”

  “I don’t mind either job” volunteered Laura. “What about you, Faith? Which would you prefer?”

  “I’m good with either one. I worked as a chambermaid one summer up in Kelowna, but I have an idea. Maybe we should do one job for a week until we learn what’s needed and then switch. That way we’d be able to help each other out.” Faith shot a quick glance at Candy. “If that’s okay with you, that is.”