No tears are shed because Kellie’s absolving herself, and it’s a beautiful thing. This doesn’t mean we’re all going to be one big happy family and all will be forgotten and forgiven. But she will always be a part of my life, and I’ll never take that away from her. We’ve all been given a second chance. I can’t stay mad at her for protecting Sam because that’s what she’s done her entire life. But Saxon, he’s never needed protecting, and that’s what Kellie finally seems to understand.

  Leaving her alone to reflect, I see Greg exiting Saxon’s room, wiping away his tears. We all know what comes next. It lingers in the air. “I’m going to take Kellie home.” He’s said his goodbyes. They both have. “Your parents are with Sam.” He leaves a broken man.

  My heart calls to Saxon, it always will. Without further ado, I enter, smiling when I see the most important people in my life sitting around the man I will love until my last breath. The moment I enter, my mom knows what happens now.

  “Sweetie?”

  “Hi, Mom.” She’s expecting tears, but they can wait. “How is he?” She shifts so I can see Saxon. He’s gone. His physical body may still be present, but he’s no longer here.

  “No change,” she replies with a distraught frown. “Sam told me what he did. You’ve decided?”

  All attention swings my way, awaiting the next piece of this agonizing puzzle. She knows the answer. They all do. My gaze never wavers from Saxon when I reply. “Yes.” That simple word has been the answer this entire time.

  Sam sighs heavily while my mother holds back a sob. My father, as always, is the pillar of strength we need. “This isn’t goodbye, son…it’s until next time.” My mother bends forward, kissing Saxon on the forehead. When she pulls away, his brow gleams with her tears. No one likes to say goodbye especially to someone who affected everyone he met.

  They collect their jackets and give me a gentle hug, bequeathing me the time I need. Before she leaves, my mother turns to me with a bittersweet smile—a perfect conundrum. “It’s okay, Mom. I’ve chased the chaos, and I don’t regret a single second.” And I don’t. They leave, her sobs following her out the door.

  Sam hasn’t moved an inch, and I don’t expect him to. But he rises wearily, his exhaustion and regret permanent passengers. “I’m just going to grab a coffee. Do you want anything?”

  “Yes.” But I’m not speaking of food.

  Most look at a pen as an innocent, insignificant necessity, but as I reach for it, I’ve never felt more in sync with the saying—the pen is mightier than the sword. Gently retrieving the letter from my pocket, I gaze at Saxon, wishing things were different. But they aren’t, and it’s now my turn to be strong for him.

  Without fear, I unfold the letter and place it against the wall, using it to lean on as I sign on the dotted line. It was always going to end this way. “Can you give this to Saxon’s doctor? I’m ready.”

  Sam closes his eyes for the briefest of seconds, but eventually nods. I extend it out to him, but he hesitates like I’m handing him a live grenade. I suppose, in a way, I am. Eventually, with a tremble, he meets me halfway. The moment he grips the edge, he steps forward and places his palm on the back of my hand. It’s a touch of comfort. A promise that it’ll be all right. We stay locked this way, no words needed.

  “I’ll give you some time,” he says, but no time will ever be enough.

  He leaves, letter in hand, while I take a deep breath. Finally, I’m alone with Saxon. I amble toward him, innately drawn to him because he’s a part of me. He always will be. I stand unmoving, memorizing every part of him. He is still so handsome. And still mine.

  I will remember every step, every breath I take from here on out because this is the start of a new chapter. With measured paces, I lower myself to the edge of Saxon’s bed. He looks so peaceful, so still. Needing to touch him, to make sure this is real, with a hesitant touch, I run my fingertips over his face. I trace the slope of his nose. The apples of his cheeks. “I’m sorry,” I whisper, running the back of my finger along his stubbled jaw. “Why did you l-leave me? Take my body… take my life. It isn’t fair. Surely our lives weren’t fated to come to this? What would be the point if it did?”

  I take his hand, never wanting to let go. “If I knew our love ended this way, I would have fought it because I would happily give up everything just to see you open those beautiful, those mesmerizing eyes one more time. I need you to tell me I’m doing the right thing because this feels so fucking wrong. I feel like I’m dy-dying with y-you.” A sob splits me into two, and I surrender. “What we had, it was a mere drop in the ocean because our time was cut short. But what we had, it was real. It will prevail in this lifetime and the next.”

  Ugly tears fall, and I’m unable to stop. “Days w-will pass and turn in-into years, but I will always remember you. I pr-promise. I love you… so much.” Clutching the ring around my neck, my body trembles with a hollowed grief. “I will never regret a single moment spent with you, Saxon Stone. Not one second. Thank you for seeing me…the real me and never giving up on our happily ever after.”

  Needing to hold him, to feel him one last time, I inconsolably lower myself to lie by his side. Nestling into the crook of his neck, I inhale, basking in home. “I wanted to tell you this when you woke up, but life, it doesn’t always turn out the way you expect it to.” Reaching for his hand, I press his palm flat to my belly. “You’ve given me the greatest gift…you’ve given me a piece of you—” I choke on my tears “—whenever I miss you…which will be always and forever, because that’s the kind of love we have, I will look into your… little son or daughter’s eyes and see their daddy staring back at me. I know they will be just like you, and I promise…they—” my heart shatters into a million tiny pieces “—they will know what a great man their father was and how he was the love of my life. And how he was mine. Goodbye… Saxon,” I cry, laying a whisper of a kiss on his neck. “Never forget me because I’ll…never forget you.”

  Clutching my arms around him, I sob an ocean of tears. How am I going to do this without him?

  “Lucy?” It’s Nora. I know what she wants, but I can’t. His heart beats strongly against me, a false hope that this will be all right. If this were a movie, or if the narrator of my life was to change fate, Saxon would have stirred the moment I told him I was having his child. But this is real life, and I have to live for the now.

  There will never be enough words to say goodbye to the person you love, so I simply place a gentle kiss on Saxon’s cheek—a kiss to remember all that we had.

  When I rise, I see Sam standing with three doctors. I want to drown this sorrow, but nod when they ask if this is what I want. There is a jumble of words and signing consent, all which I do in a haze. When it’s all over, Nora’s kind face comes into view. It’s the only thing I focus on, and not what’s happening behind her.

  “Lucy, I’ll get you and Samuel to wait outside. Just for a second. I’m going to get him all ready for you.”

  Sam wraps his arm around me. I sag against him, numb. He leads me outside, my compass in the storm. “I’m so sorry, Lucy. I’m sorry I couldn’t bring him back to you. I tried, but he’s…”

  His regret isn’t needed. Not now. “It’s okay, Samuel. You have nothing to be sorry for. Our mistakes are our fate.” A tear tumbles down his cheek. We’re both broken.

  “Okay, you can come in now.” Nora gestures for us to enter, but when I step forward, Sam stays back.

  “You go. I’ll stay out here,” he says, answering my question. I know what he’s doing, but this started with us three, and it’ll end that way.

  Slipping my hand into his, I smile. “No, you won’t. You’re coming in with me. Saxon and I want that. And so does… your future niece or nephew.” I bite my lip, unsure how he will take the news. Through this grief, there is light. And I intend to share it with everyone who loved Saxon.

  He gasps, his hold slackening. “You’re pregnant?” I nod. “Holy fuck, I’m going to be an uncle?”

  “Yes,” I confirm, fresh tears springing to life, but these are of the happy kind.

  “A miracle,” he whispers, shaking his head as he stares at my stomach. “A true miracle in a weathering storm.” He squeezes my hand.

  Staring at the doorway, we know it’s time. Whatever happens, this story was always supposed to end this way. Our steps are heavy as we enter Saxon’s still room. The machines are quieted, and the breathing tube is no longer present.

  Nora stuck true to her word, removing the bandages from around Saxon’s head. The peppered stubble a contrast to his pale skin. “You can sit with him,” she gently says. Try to stop me.

  We travel in what feels like slow motion. But the closer I get, I’m suddenly looking down on myself, and the person who I leave behind. The first thing I notice is the shallow rise of Saxon’s chest. Its incline gets rougher and more irregular with every breath he takes.

  Memories of that warm breath against my lips as he kissed me smash into me, and I dreamily rub two fingers along my mouth. I remember how that breath expressed endless times how much he loved me. That breath was his life source, and it breathed life into me time and time again.

  Saxon didn’t just hold my hand—he held both my hands, and this was supposed to last a lifetime. “No,” I whimper, tremors wracking my body. “Please d-don’t…don’t le-leave me. Don’t leave us.” The air shifts. It becomes still.

  Detaching myself is the only way I can do this, so I watch, suspended above myself as a guttural cry rips from my lungs when the hypotonic swell of Saxon’s chest lays dormant. “I’m so sorry, Lucy… He’s gone.”

  No. He wouldn’t leave me. There is no way…

  The room begins spinning and my heart…it weeps for the life I’ll never be able to live. Voices echo around me, but I can’t assimilate anything because grief overrides my entire body. “It’s time…organ donor?”

  However, in the blink of an eye, fury assails my sorrow, and I’m possessed by a force so fierce, I even scare myself. “No! Don’t touch him. Don’t you fucking touch him!” Clasping both his cheeks between my palms, I abandon my passiveness because I refuse to accept this as the end. Saxon loved me because I fought for what I wanted and what I thought was right, and I’ll be damned if I fail him now. “You fight! You hear me, you stubborn son of a bitch? Come back to me!”

  People are gently coaxing me away from him, but they’ll have to pry me away because I’m not going anywhere. “You promised me we were forever. Don’t you dare give up!” Saxon gave me the kiss of life, and I can only hope I do the same for him.

  Pressing my lips to his, I ignore the stabbing pain at his quiescent heart and kiss him. It’s a gentle touch, but it’s my last hope. I can’t let him go. Never. But this cool kiss is one sided, unlike the endless heated kisses we’ve shared.

  My bleeding heart bursts from my chest, and a blood-curdling scream rips me in half. Sam gently pulls me away, cradling me to his chest. His body trembles as he cries with me. “Don’t you leave me,” I sob over and over again. “Don’t you leave us…” But it’s in vain. He’s already gone.

  Everything from this moment forward will always be tainted with this memory. The emptiness is indescribable. How am I supposed to survive this when all I want to do is die? I was a fool to think I could do this without him. A life without Saxon is a life I never chose to live.

  This roller coaster is almost at the pinnacle, and I’m afraid of what happens when I come back down. Memories collide with me, and I come to realize that’s all I’ll ever have. I’ll never see his smile again. Or taste his lips. Never feel that closeness to another human being ever again.

  “Oh my god. No,” I howl, over and over again, falling further into the abyss. “No, please, no.”

  But through the chaos I hear something… under the noise…I hear hope.

  “I’ll be damned…”

  That small flicker of faith is what I zero in on because it drags me from the depths. More voices sound, but this time, they appear hurried, frantic. Adrenaline soars through me, and I latch onto it as it kickstarts my heart.

  “Holy…shit. He’s breathing.” Those words which pass through Sam’s lips are a game changer and my second chance.

  Wiping the avalanche of tears away, I rip from Sam’s embrace, bearing witness to what he said to be true. I hold my breath in case there’s been some mistake, but when Saxon’s chest rises and falls, it’s like the world starts spinning again.

  “What d-does this m-mean?” My voice is hoarse, but Nora understands.

  “It means he’s breathing on his own.”

  “How is that possible? He’s not dead?” My question is ridiculous, but I need to ensure I’m hearing her right.

  “No, he was—” I hiss, that truth too painful to accept. “But he’s started breathing on his own.”

  Biting the inside of my cheek until I taste blood to confirm this isn’t a dream, I gasp when I observe the true miracle in front of me. I’ve been given a second chance at life, and I intend to live every minute of it. “Is he going to be all right?”

  “It’s up to him,” the doctor says, shaking his head, clearly dumbfounded. “The next twenty-four hours are crucial, but he has just come back from the dead. Anything is possible.”

  Needing to touch him, to make sure this is real, I float through the room and take Saxon’s hand. “You came back,” I whisper. “I’m here to protect you. And I promise, I will never let anything happen to you, to us ever again. Open those eyes. You’ve got our baby to meet.” Nora discreetly wipes the tears from her eyes.

  Sam comes up behind me, placing his hand on my shoulder. “Way to scare us, asshole. When you wake up, I’m so going to kick your ass.” I laugh, we both do, and it’s the best feeling in the world.

  Kissing the back of Saxon’s hand, the heat of his skin warms me to the core. “You kept your promise…”

  “Will you take care of me?”

  “Yes.”

  “You promise?”

  “Yes, I promise.”

  “For how long?”

  “For as long as you want me to.”

  As the color slowly returns to Saxon’s cheeks, I embrace the chaos because the flip of a coin, the flip of fate just fell in our favor. This isn’t the end. No, this is just a taste of what’s to come.

  Six Months Later

  Losing someone you love, regardless of the amount of time you’ve known them, is unparalleled to any pain in the world. They say what doesn’t break you makes you stronger, but death, it tests the limits and has you wishing for just one more second with the person you love.

  “Do you have any last words?”

  Sniffing back my tears, I peer down at the matchbox Saxon holds—the box which contains our goldfish, Goldie.

  “I’m sorry for being such a sucky owner. How’s that for last words?” Saxon’s honeyed chuckle is one of my favorite sounds in the world, especially since there was a moment when I thought I’d never hear it again.

  Six months ago, a true miracle happened—Saxon challenged fate and came back to me. The moment he opened his eyes, I knew I would never go a day without looking into them ever again. At first, he was confused, and I was afraid I would be forced to relive the past. But after the haze lifted, he asked if he could hold me. He was unsure where we stood because so much had happened.

  My response was, “Try to stop me.” Wild horses couldn’t tear me away because the moment I melted into his arms, I was finally home.

  He surprised the doctors when he was up and walking a day after waking from his coma. But I never doubted anything less. I couldn’t stop touching him because for a split second in time, he was taken away from me. The memory is still so raw. I wipe away my tears.

  But that’s all in the past. Saxon stands strong and radiates health. With his vibrant tattoos, ripped jeans, and mussed bed hair, he is the epitome of what every bad boy strives to become. One would never guess what we faced six months ago.

  “Don’t be so hard on yourself. To be fair, in goldfish years, he was at least ninety-five.” I bite back a smile while he kisses the top of my head, always trying to take away my pain.

  Goldie was our first pet together because after Saxon was given the all clear, there was no doubt in my mind that I was moving to Oregon. I once said home is where the heart is. Saxon is my heart, he always has been, and once I thought I’d lost him, I knew there was no way I was going to let that happen again.

  Whispering Willows was sold within a week of it going on the market. Hayley made sure we got a good deal. The new owners, a young couple from California, reminded me so much of Sam and me. I knew they’d be happy there because I was. When we signed on the dotted line, I thought I’d be riddled with sadness, but I wasn’t. This was a new chapter, and I was so ready to dive in.

  My mom and dad knew how much I loved my horses, so they added three beautiful beasts to their clan. They said it was an excuse to visit them every once in a while, but horses or not, they couldn’t keep me away.

  Rubbing my swelling belly, I smile. It’s unbelievable how much my life has changed. It hasn’t been smooth sailing, and anyone looking in would wonder why I took the long way when the answer was staring me in the face all along. I suppose, sometimes, the things we can’t change end up changing us. And throughout it all, I’ve learned that I want to be a voice, not an echo. This new Lucy is the person I was always destined to become. I just needed to realize that the best journey leads you home.

  My sparkling diamond catches the sun, the kaleidoscope of color rivaling the brightest rainbow. This ring doesn’t just represent everything I’m going to gain, it also signifies everything I could have lost. The moment Saxon was okay, I told him I had read his letter and the answer to his question was yes. A thousand yeses.