I needed the real thing. Nothing else would do. But Tabatha was still firmly on the cannot-touch shelf.

  26

  Tabatha

  There was no going back. Not after what I’d done. After what we’d done. Except, there was nowhere to go. Nothing had changed. I’d basically let my boss finger fuck me in the most delicious way in a dressing room while I was on a fake date… with my asset no less.

  Talk about royal fuckups.

  All of this made worse by the fact that I could not get a hold of my brother. I tried calling Riley again as I walked along the gravel pathway toward the offices at the back of Abott Manor. I'd been calling him all damn day and nothing.

  While I let myself up the stairs and into the back doors, the familiar scents wound around me. The smell of tea, coffee, and biscuits. It smelled like home. I'd spent so much time here, that Abott Manor was practically home.

  I went to the door that separated the offices from the main manor house and let myself right into the kitchen. I had the code. Obviously, King had the code as well, but by and large, the other agents didn't have access to the main house. I poured myself a glass of juice and surprised Saff when she came around the corner.

  "Jesus Christ, Tabs, you scared me."

  "Sorry. I thought you said to meet you here."

  "I did. I figured we could review our current training class. I got your notes and wanted to chat about who to advance."

  "Sure. I handed off the final evaluations to Carmen and Val once I got my assignment, but I can walk you through the best candidates."

  "How did it go with Tate last night?"

  I guzzled my juice and tried not to think about her brother’s fingers in my pussy. "Fine. Why? What did you hear?” It was doubtful that Gabe had said anything to Saff.

  She rolled her eyes. “The new recruit, Jameson, said he was a full-on twatwank at the restaurant."

  “That was a new one.” I couldn’t help the paranoia. Gabe and I had been flirting with disaster for weeks. And last night was the most exquisite kind of fresh hell. I needed to talk to him though. We needed to talk about what had happened. What kept happening. "Where's Gabe?"

  Saff evaded the question. "He had some business to take care of."

  I lifted my brow. "Oh, come on, tell me what's going on."

  "No, he just has something to take care of. He asked me to handle you for today. Don't worry, your boyfriend will be back soon."

  The heat slammed into my face, and I quickly turned around, gulping down my juice, the tartness making the sides of my cheeks ache.

  "Sorry, I was just teasing. I know you said you're off my brother, but sometimes I still hope that you guys will figure it out."

  "There's nothing to figure out, Saff. It’s not going to happen with me and Gabe. Not to mention it is verboten."

  "There is a way around all rules. But if you say so. Come on, let's roll."

  I rinsed out my glass and shoved it in the dishwasher then followed her back out to the offices and the elevator that led to the training rooms.

  We met Rook along the way. "Hey, Gabe wants everyone in the conference room in thirty minutes."

  The bottom fell out of my stomach.

  Relax. He’s not going to announce to the team that he licked his fingers clean after finger fucking you.

  My gaze flicked to Saff's, and she shrugged. "Don’t look at me. I saw him tear through here earlier. He was in a real hurry. Looked like something crawled up his arse."

  "What the fuck?"

  I shoved my way into one of the sparring rooms and then whirled on Rook. "What the hell is he doing?"

  "He said it had to do with the mission. He’s being cagey. Anything happen last night?”

  I coughed. “Why?”

  Saff studied my face. “What's going on with you, Tabs?"

  I ran my fingers through my hair, hating the straight texture. Sure, it could look pretty sometimes, but it felt foreign. And oddly, it was a lot easier to tangle. "Nothing. Gabe was just his usual self. Nothing I can’t handle." Except he’d been the one to handle me last night.

  "Did you know Gabe went to South Africa a few days ago? Was he following you?”

  I was tired of holding it in. Tired of lying. Besides, I had a much bigger secret now, and there simply wasn't room to hold them both. "My sister Kira has gone missing."

  Saff's jaw unhinged. "What the fuck? Define missing. Why the hell didn't you tell me?"

  I turned to face my best mate. "I know, I fucked up. I have a bad feeling about it. She didn't take Mr. Snuggles.”

  “What the fuck is a Mr. Snuggles?”

  “It's this stuffed octopus. Her birth mom gave it to her when she was little. She literally cannot sleep without it near her. When she travels, she has to take it with her. But it was left in the flat.”

  “I mean, honey, she's a grown adult. She wouldn't necessarily take it out for a sleepover if you know what I mean.”

  “She would absolutely shove it in the bottom of a makeup bag, knowing no one will unearth it. I've seen her do it.”

  “Okay, so what do we know for sure?”

  “Riley called a couple of weeks ago really worried he hadn't seen her, and she wasn’t responding to his messages. And when he last saw her, she was hanging out with a rough crew.”

  ”That's why you went to South Africa… to check on her?”

  “I didn't want to alarm Riley, but seeing that octopus there, I have a bad feeling. I've got my mate Sam looking into it, but he seems to think that she's just gone off on holiday or something. In my spare time, I've been trying to call around to her friends and get a bead on who her new boyfriend might be, but nothing so far.”

  Saff shook her head. "You know the rules. You know them because you help drill this into new recruits every single fucking day. When there's a potential of being compromised, you tell someone."

  “I know, Saffron. I know. But what was I supposed to do? I finally had a shot. A chance to do something real. I didn't want to get pulled off this assignment before I could even get started.”

  She had one arm wrapped around her body, the other one pointing at me. I had fucked up. I knew I had fucked up, but I have no other choices. "We drill this into them every single day. Depend on your team. Count on your team. Why wouldn't you depend on us? Fine if you don't want to talk to Gabe, but me, of all people, for fuck's sake."

  I swallowed hard. "I know. I just… This is my first time undercover in the goddamn field. Gennifer Goode is up my arse. She talked to me like if I didn't do a good job my arse was out the door. I don't know. I didn't say anything because I don't want to fail you. I don't want you tainted if I fuck up."

  "Tabs, this isn't you. That's how we’ve all known that something was wrong ever since you got assigned."

  "I'm in the middle of an undercover mission."

  "I know that. When were you going to fucking tell us about Kira?"

  I bit my bottom lip. My words were a whisper. "I don't know."

  Saffron planted her hands on her hips. "What was that?"

  She was pissed. I had never seen Saff so angry. Saff, as a general rule, did not let her temper fly. Unless it was at Gabe, of course. Though she'd shot Lock once. Was she mad enough to shoot me? Thank God we didn't have weapons.

  I put my hands up and backed away, and she lifted a brow. "You think I'm going to hit you?"

  "Well, I don't know if you realize it, but you just took a step toward me."

  "You see, while I can take you down easily, you're my best fucking friend. My mate. You didn't come to me. You've been dealing with this for two weeks while you were under cover. The fuck is going on with you, Tabs?"

  "I know, okay? You think I don't know any of this? I've been in a pressure cooker. I didn't know what to do. I still don't."

  "What were you hoping to do?"

  "I was hoping she would fucking turn up."

  "And if she didn't? Jesus Christ, Tabatha, why do you always have to do everything by yourself?"

  That stung. "I don't."

  "Yeah, for unimportant things you lean on me. But the moment you need something critical, it's just you going off half-cocked to prove you can do shit on your own. You never reach out for help. When you were trying to figure out how to send funds to Riley for school, and you were afraid it was going to trigger a flag on your accounts, you went to a money launderer."

  "One time, I went to a money launderer. Once. Hey, to be fair, that money launderer did work for Rogues. It wasn't like I'd gone to some random criminal."

  "The point was, I found out after the fact when I could have helped."

  "I'm just not used to depending on anyone. We didn't have anyone else but the three of us, and that’s my default, okay?"

  Saff took down her braids, savagely shoving them into a half puffed down style, and then she started to pace. "Jesus Christ. I swear to God, I could honestly throttle you."

  "You know what? I could throttle myself. I'm not really happy about this, okay? I fucked up."

  "Fucking up doesn't even touch it. The real question is if you were compromised. As far as we know, Kira thinks you're an art curator. So how would they know who you are?"

  I hadn't considered any of that. "I don't know."

  "Right. You don't know. So, you could be walking into anything."

  "I'm the one everyone counts on, okay? Me. Everyone counts on me to fix things, to make it better. And sometimes it's like a constant burden, and I don't know what to do, all right?"

  Saff sighed, her eyes brimming with tears. She stalked toward me again, and I squared my shoulders, holding my ground.

  Well, if she was going to fucking hit me, I was determined to take it on the chin. There was no point in fighting Saff anyway. Out of all of us, Gabe was the only one who could consistently beat her, and even then, it was a coin toss. She'd been training since she was a kid. She was fast on her feet, and fucking hell, she fought dirty. Once, she'd elbowed me in the boob, which was just a fucking low blow. I was still mad about that.

  But instead of hitting me, she threw her arms wide and then encapsulated me in a tight hug, nearly squeezing the life out of me. I was so surprised I did nothing for a moment. Just stood there penguining.

  And then I wrapped my arms around her back, letting the comfort of her embrace fill me up.

  For the first time in over a week, I let the tension roll off my shoulders. I let my brain relax. I wasn't alone. I had never been alone.

  The lie that I told myself all the time was that I was the only one who could fix anything. I was the only one who could make things right. And I could see in Saff's eyes disappointment that I hadn't trusted her enough to come to her. And I could feel her love and her rapid heartbeat. She shoved me back. And then she flipped me off. "That's for not coming to me first. I could have helped you. I could have gone out to South Africa. Jesus, I could be your eyes and ears, but you didn't do any of that. I'm still mad at you."

  "Can we go back to the hugging?"

  She shook her head. "No. I'm mad."

  "Okay, fair enough."

  But she hugged me again anyway.

  "Damn it, Saff, I don't know what to do." I wrapped my arms tightly around my friend and nodded. "I know, I fucked up. I should have come to you."

  "Yes, and we could have fixed this. But we're mid-mission, and now we're on our backs."

  "I know. I just don't know how to fix it."

  "Well, first we're going to go upstairs and eat some fucking ice cream. We're going to get someone down to South Africa to keep an eye on Riley, okay?"

  I nodded rapidly, blinking the tears away. Thank you.”

  “You only think you’re all alone. But your family is right here.”

  Gabe

  I had invited a monster into our house, and now we needed to exterminate that bitch.

  That monster had put every single one of my people in danger. My retribution and punishment would not be swift. I wanted to make it hurt. Worse she had made me doubt them. Made me doubt Tabatha.

  Saff paced back and forth. "So what is the play here?"

  I pinched the bridge of my nose. "Don't give me that. I don't have to explain my actions to you."

  Saint laughed. "Why the fuck didn’t you just shag her, mate? If you’d given her the dick, she wouldn’t be so hell-bent on destroying Rogues."

  "I’m not mad that’s why," I muttered.

  Lachlan whistled low. "Jesus Christ. There's no way your dick is that good. So much that the idea of having you has made her into a nutter."

  They were taking the piss? Now of all times? "Bloody focus. Yes, she’s made it clear she wants me. But I’m not fool enough to go there. And she’s a pro. She has another angle here. One that maybe has to do with me, but not directly. Ever since she took over for a predecessor on the Oversight Board, she's been making power plays and moves. I think I was convenient."

  Rook stepped forward then. "Gabe asked me to narrow down the signal on a phone. It's a familiar one. One we noted when Oversight told us about Tate. The same one, subtle, but there. And when Tate met with Gennifer again, same signature. Not to mention I had a brief looky-loo at her financials."

  My sister did not like that. "Are you insane? She's coming for us, and you had Birkoff here fiddle around in her accounts? You're trying to get her to blow us all up, aren't you?"

  Rook grinned at her. “Solid La Femme Nikita reference.”

  Saff winked at him. “Thanks for catching it."

  "Are you two done?” I asked, scowling. “Saff, Gennifer has full-on plans on blowing this whole group apart. There's nothing I can say or do to exacerbate that. And she's playing a different game. She's playing for keeps."

  Rook stepped forward again. "She had a series of accounts, businesses she's on the board of, only to find out they are essentially shell corporations. Companies on trusts, companies with a sole board member, her. Funds that have been tunneled in and out of those accounts for years."

  Saff frowned as she watched Rook. "Somebody would have noticed. We’re fucking Intelligence for Christ's sake."

  Rook shook his head. "So far, no one has noticed. But more importantly, what no one has noticed, is one account in particular. Every time the Syndicate moves, this account gets flushed. And thanks to that little piece of, honestly, shitty accounting, I could also track her movements and her travels."

  Tabatha stepped forward into the circle now. I knew she thought she was in trouble, and she was. I planned to make her pay for lying to me, for being in trouble and not coming to me. But that was retribution for another day.

  I would enjoy doling out that punishment, and then I would make her come.

  Just thinking about it made my cock twitch. But this wasn't the time or place.

  Saff sighed. "So she's coming for Rogues, all of it, and you think she's working for the Syndicate?"

  I nodded. "I know for sure from my contacts at MI5. They have taken a keen interest in her movements as well. Some of which don't add up."

  "You've been busy, big brother."

  "No one comes after my people. She put Tabatha on the mission with Tate on purpose. She was hoping Tabatha would see something to take someone out. We're going to have to play that with Tate, see what we can dig up, what she's trying to hide. She wanted us on that mission at the gala. Saint, Kaya, I want you to follow up on the gala angle. Go and talk to Disick. Dig as much as you need to. Take Devlin with you."

  I turned to Saff. "You and Lock, you're with me and Tabs on Tate. We're missing something there, and we need to find it. I'm not risking any of this getting back to her."

  Tabs asked the one question I hoped she wouldn't. "Who's your source?"

  "Someone deep undercover. For now, just know that we're not alone."

  Then she sighed. "And my sister?"

  "We're going to get her back. I have a feeling she's tied up in all of this. Go home. Get some shut eye. Tomorrow, you go back under. But I’m assigning someone to aid in looking for her. You think you're going it alone, but you’re wrong. You will have back up. You have family."

  Gennifer Goode thought she was going to tear Tabatha away from my side, but we had just caught her in a trash heap of massive lies.

  She was going to have to kill me if she wanted to take any member of my team away from me.

  27

  Tabatha

  My head was spinning. This had all been a trap. I'd jumped into this mission, fought for it, and all along I was a pawn? I hated being used. Gabe had known something was off, but I hadn't bloody listened. I thought I knew better. I thought I had all the damn answers. I had single-handedly pissed off the entire universe.

  At the end of the briefing, I escaped as quickly as I could. Never mind that I heard Gabe calling after me. I was in no mood for a lecture. I had just stormed out of the briefing room, my face burning with embarrassment and frustration. All I wanted to do was get in my car and drive away from Abott Manor as quickly as possible.

  As I marched toward the south parking lot, my boots clicking angrily against the asphalt, I could feel Gabe's presence behind me. I knew he was following me, and I was in no mood to deal with him. I had enough on my plate already with the botched mission and the team's trust in me shattered to pieces.

  I finally reached my car, and just as I was about to open the door, Gabe's hand shot out to stop me. "We need to talk," he said. His tone held a firm command which I ignored.

  I rolled my eyes, turning to face him. "I'm not in the mood for a lecture, Gabe. We don't have anything to talk about."

  He looked exasperated, running a hand through his hair. "Bullshit. You kept secrets from me."

  "You could have warned me. Instead, you had me fighting for this assignment. I feel like a fool. And I know I should have told you about Kira. I know. It’s just—I'm used to doing things on my own. I'm not used to having back up."

  He shook his head, stepping closer, his anger clear in the set of his mouth and the furrow in his brow. "What did I bloody tell you when I recruited you?"