I shook my head. "You're alone. You’ve burned every bridge you've ever had. What's it like knowing that no one would even want to try and rescue you?" I turned my back on her.

  The woman who had tortured me for weeks now didn't matter anymore. What mattered was getting my sister back, with or without her help. I just hoped time hadn’t running out.

  39

  Tabatha

  I was exhausted after the confrontation with Gennifer, and the flight from Corsica back to London did not help. It didn't matter if we were in the fancy Rogues jet or not. I ached.

  By the time I reached my bungalow and tossed my go bag on the couch, all I wanted was a long soak. Unfortunately, the bungalow only had a shower.

  You could go back up to Gabe's.

  What a joke that was. He could never relinquish control. It just wasn't part of his makeup. And as long as he was Ops Command, that would be his purview.

  And there wouldn't be a damn thing I could do about it.

  I would be completely at his mercy, and I would resent him for it. Because on the surface, he'd be protecting me, wanting to keep the woman he loved safe. But it would fester and make it so we didn't trust each other. And that wasn't the basis for any kind of relationship. We wouldn't survive that. Hell, we wouldn't survive it the way it was.

  I started shucking off clothes as I headed to the tiny modern bathroom. The bungalows were well appointed and had been modernized, but they were all still small.

  Or maybe you're just accustomed to being in Gabe's massive room at the manor or that beautiful glass-encased house in Hampshire. Just get in the shower. Focus on where you are now. That's how you're going to get through this.

  It didn't matter that my heart was breaking. I still had a job to do, a sister to save. I had no idea how I was going to do any of it. But I had to get through it somehow.

  My phone rang, and I groaned. I wanted to ignore it. Honestly, I did. But I knew better. When that phone rang, you answered. That was the only rule. I jogged to grab it wearing nothing but my tank and my knickers. "Hello."

  "That was ill-played of you. Now, your sister is in even more danger."

  My stomach went into freefall. "Who is this?" As I spoke, I picked up the landline and tapped in a code to let switchboard know I needed a tap and trace on my mobile.

  I used to think the codes we had to remember were bullshit. But low and behold, they came in handy.

  "I’m the person who has your sister."

  My brain wanted to let go of the tethers to reality, to spin and shut down, but I had been too well trained. I grabbed a notebook and tried to make note of any sounds I heard in the background that might be a clue.

  “You’re a bad liar.”

  “On the contrary,” he chuckled. “I’m a pretty good one.”

  “What do you want?”

  “We’re going to try this again, Agent Smith. This time, you will follow the rules.”

  “I just want my sister.” And this wanker’s head on a pike. "What do I need to do to make that happen?"

  "Well, what you'll do is bring me something I want, and I’ll give you something you want."

  "Whatever you want, I’ll bring it. But you should know, I'm not doing anything illegal or hurting anyone. Sorry, but you're going to have to murder people all by your lonesome."

  "I don't want something so pedantic as murder. I want something valuable. Power."

  "I don't know what to tell you. Maybe focus on some visualization, you know, hold your shoulders back when you walk. That'll help. Fake it till you make it."

  I could tell from his clipped tone he did not appreciate me mocking him. "Relax, I just want you to deliver a person. Something I know you can do."

  Fuck. Kidnapping? "Who?"

  "Someone you have access to already. I want you to bring me Gabriel Webb, the love of your life. You deliver him, and you get Kira back. Simple. So who are you going to choose, your sister or your boyfriend?"

  40

  Tabatha

  Gabe.

  My stomach pitched, and something cold and slithery wound around my spine.

  They wanted me to bring them Gabe?

  Holy shit. An operative of his level? They'd torture him for information. They would never kill him. No, his would be a fate far worse than death.

  You can't give up Gabe.

  Just the thought of it made my stomach twist. I loved him. I couldn't give him up.

  He's not yours. And he would give you up. The mission always comes first.

  It didn’t matter. I couldn't do it. Saff, the whole team, they were my family too.

  It wasn't even something I was going to consider. The problem was I was stuck between a rock and a hard place. My instinct said to solve this on my own.

  But you tried that. And failed. Maybe this time, ask for help.

  There was no choice. I wanted Kira back. I needed to save her. But I wasn’t betraying my family, and Rogues was my family. Even if he didn’t love me, I couldn’t hand him over.

  I charged up the path to the back door of the manor house because Saff had said if I needed her she’d be there. And for once, I didn't know where else to turn.

  Are you sure you want to interrupt her with her husband?

  This was the kind of thing she'd kick him out of bed for. Besides, I had no choice.

  I tried getting in by the back door, and a voice called out from behind me. "Where are you going?"

  I whirled around as the familiar feelings made the hairs on the back of my neck stand at attention, begging to be soothed.

  "I'm going to see Saff."

  Gabe frowned. "Is she expecting you? She and Lock went to get ice cream a while ago. Who knows what they're doing with it?"

  "Eww."

  He shrugged. "Or maybe you were coming to see me." He pushed away from the tree. ”Am I right then? Is that where you were going? To find me?"

  I blinked at him in surprise. "What?"

  "See, if I were you, I'd be contemplating murdering me in my sleep. Or bombing the place, the whole lot of it. And once you successfully placed the bombs, it would put a crimp in Rogues for a time."

  "Why would I do that?"

  "Because you hate me." His voice broke and my heart squeezed. “You were pulling away from me even before we left for Corsica. You think I can’t feel that?”

  The effort required to keep my feet planted and not run to him and wrap my arms around him was Herculean.

  "I don't know what to say to you, Gabe."

  "Call me an arsehole. A controlling dick. Tell me you hate me. I can work with hate. Not apathy though. I can’t deal with that."

  I winced at his words. "I can't do this with you. I need to talk to Saff."

  I turned to go, but then the words he uttered next froze me in place. "I fucked up. But I would do it again.”

  “This isn’t just about Drake.” I shook my head. “I saw your knuckles after we left Tate at the black site.”

  He swallowed hard. “Butterfly…”

  “No. Don’t you butterfly me. We had a deal. You were going to let me run that interrogation. Then you took over. Tell me, next time we see Tate, how bloodied is he going to be?”

  He swallowed. “I had to make sure he wouldn’t come after you once we released him. Just thinking about what he tried to do to you, I…" He swallowed hard. "The idea of losing you, I couldn't take it. Make no mistake. I’d do it again. He needed to understand that you are off limits for even thinking about."

  I shook my head. "You are Ops Command. It's who you are. You can't be with me. And I love you so much it hurts. I feel like I'm being shredded from the inside out. But it's not just the Ops Command title, Gabe. It's who you are. You are the man in charge. And you would do anything and everything to keep me out of harm's way. A part of me should love you for that, and I do. But I also need to be who I'm supposed to be. I need you to trust me. To believe in me.”

  His gaze narrowed. "I've always respected your abilities, Tabs."

  "Yeah, but that was before. The moment we got together, it's like suddenly you can’t see me. I am a possession, and you want to hoard me like an object."

  He took a step toward me. "Do you have any idea how I fucking feel about you?"

  My stomach flipped. If he said the words I might cave. I had to separate us if I wanted to keep him out of this. Our relationship had done this. I was in this predicament because I’d wanted him.

  “I want to believe you. But you treat me like a man with a possession. Did it occur to you how that might feel to me? I know you have secrets. I accept that, but I don’t like being surprised."

  He winced. "Look the Drake thing was unavoidable. We just need to work through that. I'll apologize for the fact that I hurt you with Tate. I didn't think about how you'd feel or that you’d think that I didn't trust you. Obviously, I trust you with my life."

  "You shouldn't. Because one day these feelings are only going to get one of us killed."

  "Don't say that." The tight words barely escaped his lips.

  "It's true. People will use us against each other. They already have. You already risked too much.”

  “Butterfly…"

  He started to take a step toward me, but I backed up. "No. I need to talk to Saff. Actually, you might as well come with me because it involves you too."

  He frowned. "What?"

  "Like I said, when you love someone, they can use them against you."

  He dropped his voice an octave. "I know you, butterfly. Don’t do this. Don’t walk away from us.”

  “I’m sorry. It’s already happening. You’ll always be Ops Command. And I’ll be the Monarch. We were never meant to fall in love.”

  I left him on the stairs of the Abott Manor, refusing to look back. If I looked back, I would cave. Because all I wanted was to be with him.

  But it would kill me in the end.

  41

  Tabatha

  Expectant faces stared up at me, and I didn't know what to tell them.

  Tell them the truth.

  Saff gave me an encouraging nod and a small smile. Next to her, Lachlan looked from her to Gabe, then back to me, clearly trying to figure out what the fuck was going on. "Sorry for the late-night call, guys, but I'm sure communications is going to bring it up to Gabe anyway, and I wanted to try and get a game plan in place before it became even more urgent."

  Saint sat forward then, his brow furrowing. Kaya, picking up on her husband's energy, also sat forward.

  "Before I called you all in here, I got a call from the man who has Kira. He still has my sister, and we are still in play."

  Rook leaned forward then. "Okay, how long did you keep him on the line?"

  "Communication is already on it. And it was less than two minutes."

  He cursed under his breath.

  "I've already turned my phone in to them. You can have it when they’re done and see what you can do with it."

  He gave me a nod. I could see his brain already working. I felt bad. He should be in bed. He’d moved his girlfriend, Nissa, into the tiny little bungalow on the property. The two of them spent the time during the weeks he was on at the bungalow, and the rest of the time, they were off campus. He'd had his birthday party in his childhood home. A massive grand affair. But something told me the two of them preferred it here.

  "Before we get excited, they have a demand."

  Lock's question was quiet. "What do they want?"

  I turned my attention to Gabe. "They want him."

  Saff, whom I'd already spilled all the beans to, sat there stoically. Just like she'd done when I told her the first time. I knew how her mind worked. She was trying to figure a way out, a way around, a way to do this better that was easier for everyone. She was also trying to find a way to save her brother.

  Gabe sat forward. "Fine, hand me over."

  That's when Saff shot the hell up out of her seat. "I'm sorry, Gabe, are you insane?"

  Our Ops Command just shrugged as his gaze met mine levelly. "They want me; let's give them what they want."

  Lock laughed. It was completely mirthless. "Bullshit. Absolute bullshit. We're not handing you over."

  Gabe shrugged. "Look, I'm the one who made the calls in the field that caused us to fail in getting Kira back the first time. They want me, so they can have me."

  I shook my head. "You're Ops Command. First of all, there's no way Oversight allows that. Second of all, you're our team lead, and you have national secrets that they will torture out of you. That makes no sense. We need an alternative."

  Rook stood up. "We could give them a low-level operative, you know, like wearing a Mission Impossible mask or something. That could work… with a miracle."

  Saff smoothed a hand down her face. "Even if that was a thing, we would have to look for someone who has the same features as Gabe to believably pull that off.”

  Gabe shrugged as if to say, 'Well actually, it's kind of a thing, but that’s a question for another day.' Then he interjected, "I’m not putting some agent or recruit at the mercy of those arseholes."

  Rook shrugged nonchalantly. "Yeah, but then at least they wouldn't spill national secrets. They cannot get you. That's just crazy. We can't give you up. Oversight will never allow it."

  Saff’s voice was flat when she spoke. "They’d kill him first."

  My stomach twisted. “No. We can’t let that happen.”

  Saint, despite his bad blood with Gabe, was still on the fake-Gabe idea. “We need someone who's as tall as he is and arseholy enough to pull it off. That really limits our choices.”

  Gabe gave a hearty guffaw and flipped him off. "I see you love me. It’s appreciated, mate.”

  Saint rolled his eyes. “Kaya’s grown fond of you.”

  I ran my hands through my hair. “I need actual answers. My sister's life is at risk here. And obviously, I’m not handing Gabe over, so what do I do?"

  Gabe turned to meet my gaze. “Like I already said, do what they’re asking. Send me in.”

  I threw my hands up. “That is not the plan, you wanker. I’m not letting them torture you."

  Just looking at him hurt. It hurt me down to my soul. His moss-green gaze bored into mine. The eyes that I loved so much. His thick long lashes. The way they glittered with mischief when he was in his most relaxed state.

  Stay strong. Do not bend. Do not fold.

  "Can someone give me a real fucking plan?"

  Gabe could tell I was almost at the end of my rope. "Look, our every moves are being watched, so no matter what, you need to act as if you're giving them exactly what they want. And we will. I trust the people in this room with my life. All of you have been affected by what has happened in the last several weeks. You are the inner circle for me. So if I need to go in, I trust that this team and this team alone can bring me out. Maybe we just give them the appearance of doing as they expect us to. Prepare to bring me in. Obviously, I can't seem to be going along with it. I’ll have to fight."

  I smirked at that, even though I didn't want to.

  Saint coughed under his breath, and he and Lachlan just looked at each other. Rook flat-out beamed. I rolled my eyes. "Focus, lads."

  Gabe's gaze on mine was intense, and I could feel the heat of it scorching over my skin like hot licks of pure fire.

  "I have full faith in this team, so let's hear some ideas of how the hell Tabatha here is going to hand me off in a prisoner exchange. Make it good. The more outrageous, the better."

  Despite myself, the more he talked, the more I loved him. I just had to figure out how the hell I was going to keep him alive. Because as desperate as I was for my sister, I didn't think I'd be able to give him up.

  Gabe

  I knew she was worried. Hell, her concerns were fair and accurate. If and when the Syndicate did torture me, it would only be a matter of time before I cracked and was spilling all the national secrets.

  My weak points were currently in the room with me, looking like a beautiful family. Lachlan was swirling my sister around in her glittery gold-sequined dress. And was the dress too short? Yes. But mostly that was me as a brother talking. She looked stunning as her dress sparkled next to her dark skin, and her braids were piled high on top of her head. And despite the shortness of the dress, I knew my sister was armed to the teeth.

  My other weakness, possibly an even bigger one than Saff, Tabatha, sat with Kaya, laughing. I’d decided to host all of Rogues at my house. Not the manor, because I'd always looked at the manor as Saff's house. One day when she was Ops Command, I would give her the freedom to be who she was meant to be. She couldn't do that with me living under the same roof and also being a Rogue.

  If you're not Ops Command, would you still be a Rogue?

  The question had been mulling around in my head ever since Tabatha had mentioned it. What it meant, what my function meant to me, and what my position meant for our relationship.

  She had quickly become everything that was pure and good about my life. My monarch. My butterfly. This whole thing had started by accident. I'd been doing so well staying away from her. But as I watched her now in that glittering, backless, shocking pink dress she wore with a thigh high slit that just teased of what was up three more inches, all I wanted to do was take her upstairs, bend her over the bed, and show her how sorry I was.

  That's not an apology, that's fucking.

  I knew that.

  Because even if I fucked some sense into the both of us, that pain would still be there, where she felt like I didn't trust her, and I felt like I had to protect her.

  She is an agent. You helped train her yourself.

  I had. I absolutely had, but God, the idea that I could lose her was killing me.

  Well, you fucked up and you lost her anyway.

  I swallowed hard and focused my attention on my drink. "You look like a man in pain."

  I tilted my head up to where Saint stood now, behind the couch. I gave him a nod and turned my attention back to my scotch before throwing it back. The liquid went down smoothly, warming everything as it went. "Yeah, well."