Beck and Ari moved past them, and Ari waggled her eyebrows and mouthed “Hubba-hubba” at Eleanor. Eleanor smiled back briefly and closed her eyes. It had been a long time since she’d been in a man’s arms, and she’d never had a dancing partner like Silas. She didn’t want to think about her darling granddaughter. She didn’t want to think at all. She let herself be dreamily right there in the moment.

  * * *

  —

  The party ended at one in the morning. People drifted out the door regretfully, not wanting to leave. Beck had taken off his jacket and rolled up his shirtsleeves.

  “Want to walk on the beach?” he asked.

  “Sure,” Ari answered.

  They drove to Surfside, where tonight the waves rolled in quietly, and the sea was calm. They took off their shoes and walked in the cool sand. They held hands and talked about the dance, the people they knew, the people who hadn’t come. The moon was almost full, and the ocean looked silver, so they sat on the sand and stared out at the water.

  Ari remained in a kind of enchantment. She leaned against Beck’s shoulder as they talked.

  She had to know. “Have you ever been engaged?”

  “Not even close,” Beck told her. “When I was working on my master’s, I was a complete dork, reading constantly, attending lectures, figuring out how I was going to be the best therapist I could be. Before that, when I was in high school and college, well, I was the opposite. I don’t mean I thought I was Don Juan, but I saw a lot of women, and the last thing on my mind was settling down.”

  Ari was stunned to feel a streak of jealousy move through her. All those girls and women he had been with…

  Beck asked, “But you’ve been engaged, right?”

  “Yes,” Ari admitted. “To Peter Anderson. We’ve known each other all our lives. We met at a camp in New Hampshire when we were kids. We both went to Bucknell. Our parents approved. Peter is a good guy. He’s at Harvard Law now.” She told Beck about their wedding plans, the lodge they’d rented on the shores of Lake Winnipesaukee, his parents, her parents, everyone so thrilled.

  “But during the last semester of school, I knew I didn’t want to marry him. I couldn’t. I did love him, but I never felt the way I feel…” Ari turned her head away. Suddenly she had tears in her eyes. “I loved him like a brother, or a friend,” she said.

  “You did the right thing,” Beck told her, speaking quietly. After a moment’s silence, he said, “I’m glad you broke your engagement. I’m glad for the chance to be with you.”

  Ari looked at Beck, allowing tears to fall. “I’m glad to be with you. But, Beck, I’m not sure what that means.”

  “Let’s find out.” He drew her to him and kissed her.

  His hand was on the back of her head, cradling it gently. His other hand was on her waist. Ari placed both hands on his chest, feeling his heart beating through the fabric of the jacket and his shirt. They kissed for a long time, and it was sexual but also it was serious, a searching and a finding.

  Beck pulled back. “Wow,” he said quietly.

  “I know.” She kept her hands on his chest.

  He smiled. “Ari, I’ve never made love to anyone on a beach, and I’m sorry to tell you I’m not going to now. It’s the sand. It can sneak into places a person really doesn’t want it.”

  Ari smiled back. “I know. But you can kiss me again, can’t you?”

  “I can,” Beck said. And he did.

  After a while, they rose, brushing sand off their clothes, and walked to his car.

  Beck opened her door and kissed her thoroughly again, leaving Ari limp with desire. She sank into her seat and leaned her head against the back. The top was down on the convertible, and as Beck drove, Ari looked up and watched the stars watching them from the sky. They didn’t talk. They didn’t need to.

  When they reached her house, Beck said, “I promised to go sailing with my family again tomorrow. Will you come, too?”

  “Yes, please,” Ari said.

  They kissed again, lightly this time. Beck escorted her to the door. They kissed again. Ari wanted to melt right into Beck.

  “Tomorrow,” he said.

  “Tomorrow,” she agreed.

  Ari turned off the light her grandmother had left on for her and went silently through the dark house. She dropped her dress right on the floor, kicked off her shoes, undid the gorgeous necklace, placing it carefully back in its case, and dropped on her bed, smiling as she fell asleep.

  * * *

  —

  Something delicious woke her.

  “Oh, Gram, thank you!” Ari scooted up against her headboard as her grandmother entered the room, carrying a tray with hot coffee and buttered toast.

  “Last night was fun, wasn’t it?” Eleanor asked, sitting on the end of Ari’s bed, pulling her kimono up around her legs.

  “You have no idea,” Ari said. She looked at the clock. “Lord, it’s almost noon. I’m going sailing with Beck and his family at one today.”

  “You have time to drink coffee,” Eleanor said sensibly. “And to shower.”

  Ari was starving. “You had a good time last night, right?”

  “Imagine, being my age, and dancing away until the band shut down.”

  “Silas is a good dancer,” Ari mumbled, biting into the toast.

  “He is. He’s great fun to be with.”

  “Wow, Gram, do you have a boyfriend?”

  Eleanor had a twinkle in her eye. “You know, I think I do.”

  “Oh! That’s so exciting!” Ari almost tipped over her tray.

  “No so exciting at my age, but terribly nice. I’d even say wonderful.”

  “That sounds like you kissed him.”

  “I did. And that’s all you need to know. You need to get ready to meet Beck.” Eleanor rose from the bed, leaned over to kiss Ari’s head, and left the room.

  * * *

  —

  The sun warmed Ari’s shoulders as she sat on the Hathaways’s schooner with Hen leaning against her. The boat skipped over the bouncing waves, the strong, capricious wind tangling her hair. Beck’s father constantly shouted out orders to Beck and Michelle to trim the sheet or steady the rudder. Beck’s mother had gone into the cabin to lie down.

  Hen shouted to Ari, “Don’t be afraid.”

  “I’m not afraid, sweetheart,” Ari answered, and that was the truth. She was delighted to discover she was only slightly nauseous, and the sail was so exciting, she almost forgot about that.

  They anchored near Great Point, on the Nantucket Sound side. Beck let down the rope ladder and all of the Hathaways dove off the boat to swim. Ari joined them, only slightly worried about the possibility of great whites in the water. The waves were cold and playful. After a moment of swimming against the tide, she turned on her back and floated, letting the water lift her up and pull her down.

  Something from underneath her grabbed at her waist. She screamed, struggling, until she discovered it was Beck.

  “Sorry,” he said as they treaded water, facing each other. “Forgive me?”

  “Of course,” Ari told him. She hadn’t been truly frightened.

  “Let’s kiss and make up,” Beck said, and right there with his family all around and the ocean bobbing them up and down, he pulled Ari to him and kissed her. His lips were warm and salty and his torso touched hers. It was only with great willpower that Ari stopped herself from wrapping her legs around his body. They kissed so long that a wave rose over them, forcing them from the surface. For a few more moments, surrounded by briny, sun-scattered waves, they continued kissing, as if nothing could stop them.

  They bobbed to the surface, gasping for breath and laughing.

  Hen dog-paddled up to them. “Don’t do that! I thought you were drowning.”

  Beck put his arm around his sister and kept his other arm around Ari. “This is what we were doing. Hold your breath. One, two, three.” Hugging them securely against his sides, he dove under a rising wave. They were floating underwater, belly downward, their faces close and tinted green by the watery light. Beck tugged them against him and kissed Ari on her mouth and Hen on her cheek. They bobbed up to the surface, gasped for air, and Hen giggled and splashed in the water, looking triumphant.

  “We were kissing,” Hen yelled.

  Michelle swam up. “Hen, you’ve been in long enough. Come on out and warm up. You, too, Ari. We haven’t had a chance to talk today.”

  They all swam to the rope ladder. Beck struck off toward the distance, swimming powerfully and fast. Mr. and Mrs. Hathaway were already back on board. Hen’s mother held a fat towel in her hands as she reached out to wrap her youngest daughter.

  “Your teeth are chattering,” Mrs. Hathaway said. “Here, sit on my lap. You’ll warm up soon.”

  “We’ll make hot chocolate,” Michelle said. She tossed Ari a towel and went down into the cabin.

  Ari adored the cabin, with everything so tidy and compact. Bright red enamel cups, bowls, and plates were strapped securely above the gimballed two-burner propane cooktop. Michelle deftly took a pan from a cabinet, a box of hot chocolate mix from inside a hanging webbed hammock, and added milk from the mini-fridge above the sink.

  “I’ll take a beer,” Mr. Hathaway called down.

  “I will, too,” Michelle said. “Want a beer, Ari?”

  “No, thanks, I’d prefer hot chocolate with Hen.”

  Michelle laughed. “That’s what you get for spending so much time with my brother. I tell you, the man is a seal.”

  “At least he’s not a shark,” Ari joked.

  “Oh, Ari, no, Beck’s not a shark at all,” Michelle said, taking the remark seriously. “He’s a really good guy. And I can tell he seriously likes you.”

  Ari said softly, “I seriously like him.”

  They smiled at each other, as if they had a secret.

  When the hot chocolate was ready, Ari brought a cup up to Hen and to Mrs. Hathaway. Michelle brought her father a beer, kept a beer for herself, and handed a cup of hot chocolate to Ari. Beck appeared, climbing up the rope ladder onto the boat, water streaming down from him, his board shorts plastered against his legs. Ari couldn’t help but admire every inch of his physique. There was no hiding bulges in a bathing suit, she thought, and glanced down at her own torso, her belly still as flat as always.

  Beck toweled off and went down to get a beer. The family relaxed in the sun while Mr. and Mrs. Hathaway entertained everyone with tales of races they’d won or lost over the years. Ari did her best not to gaze longingly at Beck. She asked Hen about her summer events while they drank their hot chocolate.

  As they sailed back to their buoy in the harbor, Ari was impressed at how the family all worked together, taking orders from Mr. Hathaway, who clearly was skipper of the boat. She wondered, had her own family sailed, would they ever have become closer, a better family? The boat skipped along over sun-tipped waves and the breeze made the sails flare like birds glad to be set free. Ari felt set free as well, somehow released from who she was in the past and who she was now…and who she was on her way to becoming.

  The club launch puttered out to take them ashore. Once they were all on the boardwalk, Mrs. Hathaway invited Ari to come to their house for a light meal.

  Before Ari could reply, Beck said, “Sorry, Mom. We’ve already made plans.”

  “I want to be with you!” Hen shouted, jumping up and down in front of Beck.

  “Not tonight,” Beck said.

  “Awww.” Hen pouted.

  Mrs. Hathaway put her hand on Hen’s shoulder. “Sweetie, you’ve got to come home and take a warm shower. You’ve got dance camp tomorrow.”

  “Oh, yeah!” Hen did a pirouette and hurried to the car.

  Michelle was a few steps away from them, texting. “Have fun, guys,” she called vaguely to Beck and Ari. She wandered off toward the parking lot.

  “Let’s go out to ’Sconset and get sandwiches at Claudette’s,” Beck said.

  “Good idea. I’m too windblown to enter a restaurant,” Ari told him.

  “You look perfect,” Beck said. “Although your nose might be a shade redder than your lips.”

  “Darn. I put sunblock on. Give me a moment.” Ari went into the clubhouse and straight through to the ladies’ restroom. She grinned at her reflection in the mirror. Her nose was sunburned, and so were her cheeks. Her hair had become a bird’s nest. Her shoulders were red and hot to the touch. It was going to take a long shower before she could look normal again, but that didn’t bother her at all. She was glowing from more than the sunburn.

  They didn’t talk as they drove out the Milestone Road to the small rotary at the entrance to ’Sconset. After ordering sandwiches and enormous sodas—they were thirsty after sailing—they walked down to the beach and sat in the sand, eating and looking out at the Atlantic.

  “I love your family,” Ari told Beck. “I wish my family were like yours.”

  “Oh, you only catch our good side,” Beck told her. “I used to argue with Michelle twenty times a day when we were growing up. We’d get in some vicious hair-pulling fights.”

  Ari laughed. “That’s hilarious.”

  “We played tricks on each other, too. Like I put sand in her bed and she put just the perfect amount of water in mine. When Hen came along, Michelle and I would compete to see who Hen liked better.”

  Ari sighed. “I wish I had a sibling.”

  “Yeah, I get it. As much grief as I got from Michelle, I love her. And Hen hung the moon.”

  “When I get married, I’m definitely having at least two children,” Ari said. Boldly, she asked, “Do you want children when you marry?”

  Beck said, “That depends on who I marry.”

  Ari felt his eyes on her face. Warily, she turned to meet his gaze. It was intense and questioning. Deep in her heart, she longed to say something, anything, to tell him how she felt, but the bossy good angel on her shoulder reminded her that she was pregnant, and Ari let the moment pass.

  “I should go home,” she said. “I’ve got Beach Camp tomorrow.”

  “I’ll drive back up to Plymouth,” Beck said.

  They gathered their debris, stuffed it into trash barrels, and walked up the path to his car. As Beck pulled into Eleanor’s driveway, he asked Ari when he could see her again.

  “Anytime you want,” she said, smiling. She leaned forward to kiss him thoroughly before sliding out of the car.

  * * *

  —

  She found her grandmother in the living room, feet up on an ottoman and pen in hand as she worked on the Sunday New York Times crossword puzzle. Her cat, Shadow, sat on the arm of her chair.

  “Ari! You are absolutely glowing!”

  “It’s the sun,” Ari said.

  “I don’t think so,” Eleanor replied.

  There was a note of invitation in her grandmother’s voice. Ari went around and sat on part of the ottoman. “Gram, I think I’m in love. Really, truly in love.”

  “With Beck?”

  “Yes. Every time I’m with him, it just feels right. Plus, I love his family. We haven’t made love yet, but I want to. I suppose I shouldn’t be telling my grandmother this, but I really want to. But I don’t want to rush things. Every moment with him is golden.”

  Eleanor leaned forward and took Ari’s hand. “I’m happy for you, Ari. It’s rare, a true love. But, my dear, you’re pregnant. Have you made your decision? What if Beck doesn’t want to be with you when you’re carrying another man’s child?”

  Ari looked down at her grandmother’s warm hand. The back of it was lined with wormy squiggles of veins and the long bones seemed almost to poke through her thin skin. Someday Ari’s mother’s hands would look like that, and someday, far in the future, Ari’s own.

  “You’re older and wiser,” Ari said softly. “I wish you would tell me what to do.”

  Eleanor shook her head. “That wouldn’t be a good idea. It could end up dividing us. Besides, I don’t know how you feel, what you want. It’s your decision.”

  “I would never hate you, Gram,” Ari said. She thought for a moment. “Things have changed for my generation. People are less serious about having a genetic heir to carry on. I have friends who want to adopt. I guess what I’m saying is that Beck might be willing to take on another man’s child.”

  “You’ll never know until you ask him,” Eleanor said.

  “You’re right.” Ari yawned. “I’ve got to shower and get some sleep. Beach Camp tomorrow.” She rose, leaned over, kissed her grandmother’s soft cheek, and took herself upstairs.

  As she showered and prepared for bed, she intended to think calmly and logically about her dilemma, but she was so tired, she barely made it to her bed before falling asleep wrapped in her towel.

  Nineteen

  During the last week of July, the muggy intense heat of summer settled over the island. Eleanor’s house didn’t have central air-conditioning—they had never needed it until the last few years when summers became increasingly hotter. She did have a window air conditioner in her bedroom, so she was tolerably cool as she poured her coffee and buttered a piece of raisin toast. These mornings, Ari was already gone by the time Eleanor rose.

  Ari.

  Eleanor spent a lot of time worrying about her granddaughter, who seemed oddly irrational about her pregnancy. In Eleanor’s day, the moment a woman got pregnant, she was examined by a doctor and put on all sorts of vitamins.

  But that was a long time ago. Things change.

  Still, with both of Ari’s parents MIA, Eleanor felt she had some responsibility to her granddaughter. Eleanor struggled with her conscience to keep quiet and let Ari live her own life.