Huh.

  That wasn’t a bad idea.

  “Judas, no. Birds shit, a lot. Who’s going to clean that up? You pay people to pick up after those hell beasts you call dogs.”

  “You make a good point.”

  “I always do that’s why you keep me around.”

  We both knew that wasn’t true. Gavin and Owen were still my brothers in every way that mattered. We had a bond that could be tested and tried but never broken. Theo was working his way into the fold quite nicely.

  I laughed lightly and finished up what I was doing, pulling the screen of Rhiannon back up. I wonder how pissed she’d be if she knew I had cameras in our room.

  Would it make her feel better if she knew I was the only one who could access the feed? It was probably best not to tell her at all. She tended to overreact sometimes over the littlest things. Our engagement dinner was a prime example of that.

  “Why are you in here and not with the princess? How did the dinner go?”

  I proceeded to tell him about the dinner, starting from our drive to my famiglia’s home that morning. He listened intently, not commenting or saying a word until I was done.

  “I don’t see a problem,” he said after pondering over something. “I mean, I do but that isn’t where I was going with this.”

  “But what is the problem?”

  “I’m not going to answer that we’d be here until next year. It seems to me you two are picking up where you left off before we all pulled a Punk’d and Marcus’ bitch ass was killed.”

  I wasn’t amused. “Was the last part of that necessary? The prank part, you know I agree about Marcus. Evie can’t join him soon enough.”

  He sat taller and clasped his hands against his stomach. “You haven’t told her yet, right?”

  “No, my sister did but Rhiannon hasn’t brought it up yet. I’ll guide her into that conversation if need be. Rhiannon needs to feel like she’s got a semblance of control until she’s ready to help steer the ship. Things will go as they should.”

  “And Rochelle?”

  I furrowed my brows, not understanding his question. “What about her?”

  “Don’t you think that might be a problem?”

  “She’s a means to an end. She’ll meet her soon.”

  His eyes widened in genuine shock. “You’re bringing her here? Are you sure that’s a good idea?”

  “Why else would I be doing it? That aside what did you do with the pills I had you switch?”

  “I hid them in the warehouse office safe.”

  I nodded to show that was good. Taking notice of the time I began shutting my system down. It was a little past midnight which meant my twenty-four-hour promise had more or less been fulfilled.

  “Where is my revolver, the silver one?” I asked, making sure I grabbed Rhiannon’s new set of keys and cellphone.

  “In your third safe…do I want to know why?”

  “It’s sentimental.”

  “Bullshit if I ever heard it,” he retorted. “What are you up to?”

  “Nothing.”

  He sighed and leaned forward, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Then why are you asking about a gun?”

  “I want to make my future wife’s first time unforgettable.”

  He nearly fell out of his chair scrambling after me as I exited the room.

  CHAPTER THIRTEEN

  When emotions were running rampant, I seemed to overlook specifics. It was a bad habit that needed to be broken pronto if being with Judas was my new reality.

  The room seemed larger than it had last night. I was just as exhausted, if not more so than when I crashed out. Yet, for some reason, I couldn’t find that same dreamless escape. Every ten or fifteen minutes I was waking up. It wasn’t helping any that Judas’ house was as silent as a crypt.

  I was going to turn the TV on, but the remote wasn’t in any of the obvious places.

  I considered going to find Audrey, but I didn’t have it in me to have that conversation either, not tonight.

  I gripped the comforter and pulled it over my head as I rolled onto my stomach. At least the bed was comfortable. Squeezing my eyes closed, I began to count backward from a hundred inside my head. My goal was to pass out in-between counts.

  I got to sixty when I heard the bedroom door open and close with a soft snick. I knew right away it was Judas. My heart lurched but I continued to count, forcing myself to remain lax. At fifty-three the edge of the bed dipped as he sat down beside me.

  “You can’t fall asleep.” I more felt than heard him shift. His hand came to rest on the center of my back.

  I pulled the blanket down just far enough to look at him. “I don’t know if it’s creepy or endearing that you still know me so well after all this time.”

  “We’re still the same people, principessa. We’ve grown up is all. At least one of us has.”

  I failed to suppress a smile at his teasing tone. “Yeah, I’ve always heard girls mature faster than boys. When do you think you’ll catch up?”

  He grinned and shifted so that his body was more angled towards mine. As he stared down at me, his smile slowly faded and the hand on my back began to move in circles. I couldn’t bring make myself look away, remembering the first time I’d seen him after our late-night rendezvous.

  I’d gone to a party with Audrey on the hunt for a completely different guy. I looked up and saw Judas, watching the room from above like some kind of king holding court. As if reliving the moment, my skin prickled beneath the unmoving weight of his gaze.

  The expression on his face gave nothing away.

  That had always driven me mad. I wanted to climb inside his head and know everything he was thinking.

  “What do you think when you look at me like this?”

  I cringed at how that sounded out loud, but Judas simply regarded me with a half-smile.

  “I think a lot of things.”

  “Like?” I prompted.

  “Right now? That there’s a beautiful woman in my bed and I never want her to leave.”

  I half snorted half laughed, which I’m sure was super unattractive, but I gave zero fucks. “How many times have you used that line?”

  His hand stopped its circular orbit, and thick perfectly groomed brows rose slightly. “I don’t use lines.”

  “Right. You don’t need them.”

  “Exactly,” he agreed, skipping right over my sarcasm. “I’ve never had anyone else in this bed. This house was built for you from the ground up. I would never let another woman I’ve been with taint your space. That would indirectly be disrespecting you.”

  I rolled onto my back and pushed myself into a sitting position, bracing my weight against the headboard. His eyes dipped to my pajama top. It was easy to see I was no longer wearing a bra. I’d chucked it into the hamper inside the closet.

  “Does that mean you’ve had them here somewhere else then?”

  His stare flashed back to mine. “It means I would never fuck another woman anywhere where my future wife will be.”

  If I wasn’t hearing things, he sounded angry I’d just asked him that. Judas had always been intense but this mature version of him was vehement.

  He wasn’t holding back. Everything he’d said and was saying seemed unsettlingly genuine. His words were absolute, and it took an effort to question them because of how believable they were.

  If he really hadn’t brought women here, then where did he take them? I knew he hadn’t chosen to be a saint during our time apart. I looked down at the comforter and tried to remember if I’d read anything online.

  As hypocritical as it was, it sickened me to think of him being with another woman. He was so intense and dominant. Power and confidence cloaked him like a second skin. He did everything with diligence that put every other man to shame. He was mine, even when I wanted to pretend that he wasn’t. I hated the thought of someone else getting to see those parts of him.

  “I can see that brain of yours working so I’m going to clear this up once and for all.”

  He caught my jaw and forcibly brought my attention back to him. “I never fucked women anywhere other than an office I used to have in the city. I changed the location of that building over six months ago and haven’t touched anyone since.”

  “So, you’re like a born-again virgin by now,” I joked to distract myself from the queasiness in my gut.

  He chuckled and I instantly felt a tad better.

  “I’ll be whatever you want me to be if it will make you understand you’re all that matters. There haven’t been many, just so we’re clear and you don’t start creating wild-ass narratives. I’m…selective. I don’t let my dick lead me to make bad decisions.”

  That part didn’t surprise me. He had never slept around. Even back in high school, he was only linked to one girl aside from me and I couldn’t even remember her name. She was a redhead, I think.

  “Why an office?” I don’t know why that one detail stood out to me or if it was worth knowing the answer. I wanted to track all these bitches down and burn them alive.

  “Because they didn’t deserve anything more and I wasn’t taking them to bed.”

  “But what if I--?” I caught myself before I could finish asking. What the hell was wrong with me? I might as well pick up a knife and stab myself with it.

  Judas grinned knowingly and gave my face a slight squeeze. “Amore Mio, you are mine and I’m entirely yours. You can fuck me wherever you want, and you will be fucked however you want.”

  My cheeks heated both from his promise and the knowledge that he knew exactly what I’d been about to ask. I turned over his words and Diego came to mind.

  I hadn’t slept with him, but there had been a few a year or so prior.

  Judas was possessive to the point I feared for another man if he looked at me for longer than a second. On the jet ride here he’d gotten visibly pissed off at the mere mention of Diego. He hadn’t asked a single thing about him or anyone else, though.

  Then again, he probably already knew everything. If Evie was truly living freely then he’d been watching over me like some kind of demonic guardian angel this entire time.

  “It doesn’t bother you?” I asked quietly.

  There was no need to elaborate. The question was clear enough given the topic.

  “I can’t think about it,” he replied with a sharp, humorless laugh. “It isn’t something I want you to regret, but I can’t hear about them.”

  I gnawed on my lower lip until he reached out and stopped me with the pad of his thumb.

  “You are a treasure. You’re precious to me. Any man who breathes in your direction without my consent is begging to be taken apart piece by piece.”

  “That’s relatable,” I muttered, pulling away and shifting into a better sitting position.

  “They don’t matter, not a single fucking one of them. I was your first and I’m going to be your last.” He grabbed my hand that was blinged out with the engagement ring and held it tight. “We’re never going to revisit this topic again. Neither of us will like where it leads. You’ll be hurt and I’ll have to add more names to my list.”

  “Okay.” This was one thing I could immediately agree with him on, wondering if this list was legit.

  His chest rose and fell with a silent, deep breath. He stared towards the closed bedroom doors appearing lost in thought.

  “Judas,” I called to him softly.

  “I brought you something.”

  Still holding my hand and not looking at me, he reached down and picked something up off the floor. It took my brain a second to register what he was holding.

  “Is that a gun?”

  Dangling from his fingers and pointing away from us, was a shiny revolver.

  “Here.” He brought it around and offered it to me. “Take it.”

  I remained exactly as I was, looking from him to the gun and back again. Was this some kind of test? I had never been good at those. Swallowing, I stretched out the hand he wasn’t holding, feeling perspiration beginning to gather on the back of my neck. He let me take the gun with a twisted glint in his silver eyes.

  “Okay…what do you want me to do with it?”

  “Point it at me and pull the trigger.”

  I nearly dropped the damn thing. “What? Why?”

  “Stop stalling.”

  “I’m not going to—is this loaded?” I attempted to check the cylinder and was quickly thwarted.

  He tightened his hold on the hand he was holding until my bones screamed in agony. I swallowed a whimper as he covered my other hand with his and brought it towards him, placing the barrel of the gun against himself.

  He leaned closer until our faces were only a few inches apart. “Pull the trigger,” he reiterated, his voice cold.

  I stared into his eyes, doing my damndest to temper the storm of emotion trying to break free inside my chest.

  The pain in my hand turned into a pulsing sensation. I’d pictured blowing his brains out on multiple occasions but never like this.

  I’d always imagined him down on his knees begging for forgiveness I would never give. It wasn’t supposed to happen when I had his ring on my finger, the memory of his mother hugging me, and an ache between my thighs for him to alleviate. There was also the budding suspicion he’d been protecting me from Evie all this time.

  But did he deserve mercy? I guess fate could decide. I slightly narrowed my eyes and jabbed him as hard as I could with the barrel. “You’re such an asshole. If this is loaded, I’m bringing you back to life and shooting you in the head.”

  I curled my finger around the trigger and lightly squeezed. When only a tell-tale click resounded, the air I hadn’t been able to exhale rushed from my lungs. Judas’ eyes lit with an edgy kind of excitement.

  “That was so fucking sexy.” He pulled the gun from my hand and repositioned himself so that his body caged mine.

  “It’s my turn now.” With a look in his eyes that was now both terrifying and exhilarating, he leaned over me and pressed the barrel against my temple.

  I remained completely still, my mind racing as I stared up at him. I didn’t know what he was trying to prove, but I was just curious and fucked up enough to find out.

  “You’re not afraid?” he asked softly, trailing the barrel down to my lips.

  I breathed out slowly, glancing from the muzzle back to him. Nothing had happened when I did it, but if he squeezed the trigger again, he risked blowing my brains out all over his fancy bed linens.

  The way he was hovering over me with a deadly gaze had my heart ready to burst from between my ribs. My pussy was damn near throbbing and slick with arousal. He looked so wickedly gorgeous like this.

  “You’re the one hesitating,” I taunted softly.

  He grinned and brought his face a little closer. “You know a woman with self-preservation would either beg for her life or shut the fuck up.”

  “Judas.” I slowly lifted my hands and ran my fingers along his jawline. “Then I wouldn’t be able to tell you to fuck me in this bed while you hold a gun to my head.”

  He shut his eyes and leaned into my touch drawing in a deep breath. His lids lifted and silver locked onto brown. Time as I knew it came to a screeching halt as he pressed the muzzle of the gun fully against my lips and pulled the trigger.

  The click sounded so much louder this time around. Reality came roaring back the instant Judas’ mouth claimed mine. I heard metal hitting the marble floor, subconsciously registering that he had tossed the gun.

  My hands found their way into thick silky hair.

  My tongue wrapped around his in a kiss that was carnal and passionate. The comforter disappeared and clothes were torn off without any kind of order.

  Deft fingers slipped beneath the hem of my tank top. The feather-light brush of his skin against mine had my stomach doing somersaults. He broke the kiss and pulled the top up and over my head, exposing my full naked chest to the cool air.

  “Bella,” he murmured. His eyes briefly locked with mine, and the look on his face sent another wave of arousal coursing through me. With only a bedside lamp lighting the large room, darkness shrouded everything around us. His gaze traveled back to my chest where he held it to watch as it rose and fell in rapid succession.

  “Perfezione.” He leaned down and placed a kiss between my breasts, quickly coming back up to do the same along my jawline, slowly moving upward.

  His lips were so soft, every kiss searing me with a need that had an unbridled, desperate kind of hunger pushing me to sate it.

  “Judas,” I breathed out.

  I took his face into my hands and pulled him back to my mouth, sealing my lips over his. The kiss was rougher than before, somehow more carnal. I dropped my hands to his shirt and managed to undo the first two buttons before I said screw it.

  I gripped the fabric and began to pull. More buttons popped open while a few broke free and went sailing across the room. He assisted me in removing the shirt, revealing his entire upper body. I broke the kiss this time with a gentle shove. I needed to see him.

  Understanding exactly what I wanted he moved back without complaint or refusal and the second he did my mouth went dry.

  His body was insane.

  The perfect, smooth skin shaded with ink and stretched across a well-defined six-pack I could count by tracing over every line and ridge. Everything about his torso was perfectly proportioned and toned. I looked him up and down homing on the massive print that was making his slacks tent.

  I stared until it felt like my eyes would burn straight out of my head. I exhausted Judas’ patience. He captured my mouth in a bruising kiss, biting into my lower lip until I whimpered, my pussy clenching from the sting of pain.

  His hands went to the waistband of my sleep shorts and underwear, dragging them both down. I lifted myself slightly to help him get them off.

  It was his turn to stand back and look at me. I fought the urge to hide and cover-up. I was a size four or five these days with full c-cups and undeniable curves that supported my thick thighs and ass.

  I loved my body and had always been comfortable within my own skin, but I wanted him to like it too. I kept my hands by my side and bared my all to him for the first time in years. His ravenous gaze traveled over every inch of me like a possessive caress against my heated flesh.