The space was plain with barren off-white walls, a dresser, and a king-sized bed made up in layers of black linen.

  Someone had taken the liberty of bringing our bags in here while we were with Buddy; beyond that, there was nothing. I searched around but the only interesting thing I found was a silver snake emblem resting on the nightstand.

  I pulled back the heavy curtain and got an eyeful of bushel. He had the audacity to criticize Butcher’s space…He didn’t even have a view. With a dejected huff, I sat on the edge of his bed and cradled my chin in my hand.

  The sound of loud music and laughter drifted from down the hall. I debated going to look for Addy, maybe even Trix—but definitely not Maliki.

  My head was too much of a mess to take him on right then.

  In times like these, I longed for one person I could always talk to.

  As cliché as it may sound, I was a daddy’s girl through and through. Yes, my father was intense and lethal and excelled at his craft when it came to dealing with death, but he was also my biggest supporter.

  Since all this shit went down, I rarely saw him anymore. The hunt for Samael and Lilith was top priority. Right now, I felt alone—which made almost no sense because I had an incredible group of friends I considered family, but the hurt and anger never went away.

  I had always thought of myself as a rational, strong woman who would never be at the point I was now.

  I’d let a wrecking ball of a human being crack the solid foundation I once held my head so high on, and fuck if I wasn’t doing everything in my power to keep it from crumbling altogether.

  I still could not understand how Butcher could so easily discard his family…me…his faith.

  Speaking about this with anyone felt pointless, so I kept it all to myself. People would assume this was all because I had a broken heart, and it’s true, I did, but it was also so much more than that. Broken hearts heal, and he didn’t simply break my heart; he freed it. What I found most unforgiveable was the shotgun he took to the last pure parts of my soul.

  I hated him. Fucking hated him for what he did to Cam—to our family. My heart splintered when I thought of Annie and her blood on my hands, her life being taken away by me. The way Bella completely shut down once she got back to the compound. I blamed him for that, too.

  Now three kids were still out in the Badlands enduring who the fuck knew what, and it was his fucking fault.

  But it was ours, too. We trusted family and ignored all the warning signs, all while knowing it was always those closest to you who jammed a knife in your spine. He knew us inside out, aiding the Stags in their hideaway.

  Because of this, our doctrine was changing to something twice as vile as before. The acolytes being trained under Lucifuge’s mantra were not like anything I had ever seen. The Badlands would be painted red before this was over.

  So, I did not want him back. I did not miss him or his deceitful touch. I wanted him down on his knees, begging for forgiveness, before I took his still-beating heart from his goddamned chest.

  Shaking my head as if it would temporarily dispel all thoughts of him, I stood from the bed and made my way back into the bathroom, fluffing the ends of my hair with the towel as I went. I had zero desire to venture out into a full-blown Venom party, because that sounded like a nightmare, so I planned to just lie around until Addy or Maliki came to get me.

  Feet padding over cool, slate floor, I sat at the vanity and set the towel to the side. Placing my hands flat on the plain granite countertop, I took a deep breath and boldly looked at myself in the mirror.

  Nothing spectacular stood out about me. I had long dark hair the same shade as my father’s and light brown eyes like my mother. There were darkly shaded tats, some of them hiding scars I’d accumulated throughout my teen years.

  You wouldn’t look at me and see someone who had the mind of a hurricane and a heart made of broken glass. I didn’t know how to make someone understand that my chaos was not seeking peace but craving destruction.

  I couldn’t undo the scars or piece back together what had fallen apart. Stuck in a prison made of pain, all I could do was stare death in the eyes.

  In the dim lighting of some strange bathroom, it was easy to see what I never wanted—or rather who. My heartbeat accelerated, my breathing began to fluctuate, fingers curling into granite, but I did not look away.

  I stared and I stared until I accepted the truth staring back at me. Apportens Mortis. The tattoo on the inside of my arm. I was my father’s daughter.

  I was death.

  The prickling of my skin alerted me that I wasn’t alone before I opened my eyes. His scent invaded my lungs on my next inhalation but, even without it, I somehow knew it was him in the room with me.

  My skin was clammy, nipples hard beneath one of his shirts I had stolen from a drawer. Rolling from my side to my back, I sat up and pulled my knees to my chest, tugging the shirt down over them. He’d turned the main light off, leaving the dim one in his bathroom on.

  Naked from the waist up, he leaned against the dresser, both arms lazily crossed over his chest and a heavy stare aimed at me.

  I met it head-on and swallowed.

  “Having a good dream?” His deep, gravelly voice sent heat straight to the place that needed no more stimulation.

  “I don’t remember,” I lied. No way in hell was I fessing up to what I was in the middle of inside my head. This wasn’t as bad as nightmares, but it was twice as humiliating. My pussy was slick, aching for the cock I’d just had in my mouth in a dream I shouldn’t have been having. It was worse that I’d backed him into the same wall Buddy’s brain was splattered on before dropping to my knees.

  “You don’t remember,” he mused, stroking a finger over his lips. “So if I were to spread those sweet thighs of yours right now, what would I find?”

  Hearing the party still going strong, if not stronger, I clamped my legs together and leveled him with my best poker face.

  “You’d find nothing. What are you even doing in here?”

  “What am I doing in my own bedroom?”

  “Why aren’t you out there with them?”

  “Because I want to be with you.” He shifted and stood up straight, grabbing the metal canteen in the process. “You remember what I said to you after I killed Buddy?”

  How could I forget? My denial had me still trying to decipher the exact meaning.

  “What do you want, Malik?”

  He took a healthy drink of whatever was in the canteen and then slammed it down.

  “I want to wrap my hands around your throat and fuck you until the only thing you know is my name, and there’s a permanent imprint of my dick branded inside your pussy.”

  I bit the inside of my lip and sat up a little higher, placing my back against his headboard.

  “What I want is this stunning fucking brunette with a great ass and a gorgeous smile who harbors the kind of demons that make me want to get down on my knees and worship her like the goddess she is.”

  He slowly crept forward, staring like he was about to devour every morsel of me. His words sounded too good to be true.

  Why would someone like him want the living dead girl that was me? I knew I would only get worse. I was okay with death finding a home inside me and carrying out her demands—further reasoning why he deserved someone stable and not so much of a deranged mess.

  “Malik…” I warned. “Don’t we need to leave soon?”

  “We have a good few hours,” he replied, edging onto the bed.

  I ran my eyes over his sinewy body, keeping my ass glued exactly where it was. He wrapped his hands around my lower calves and pulled until I was flat on my back, sienna eyes still holding mine.

  No protest came forth as the shirt was lifted from over my knees and he continued on his path, spreading my legs apart and climbing between them.

  Saying no would have been all too easy…but I didn’t entirely want to. We’d been doing this dance for weeks now.

  I wanted to be fucked, and I wanted him to be the one doing the fucking. I’d worry about the rest after I came all over his cock.

  Poised above me like a serpent waiting to strike, I reached up and placed a hand on his solid chest.

  “You look good in my shirt,” he said, lowering his mouth down to mine, “and even better in our bed.”

  Our bed?

  Lips pressing against mine, all other thought came to an immediate halt. His tongue swept out, seeking access I easily granted. He tasted of something sweet and tangy but also potent.

  The hem of his T was tugged, and then we were breaking apart so he could pull it over my head.

  I lifted up to assist him in its removal. His hands moved between my legs, causing my stomach to dip when they found their way to my pussy. He moved down my body, taking his time to kiss every part of me that he could.

  I wanted him to shred my underwear apart and do all he’d just described, but my brain hadn’t gone to total mush yet.

  “Maliki,” I breathed when he reached my apex, “are you drunk?”

  “Drunk me is just sober me with a stronger need to fuck.”

  “Malik...”

  He took hold of my simple bikini underwear and slipped them off with a disturbing quickness, pitching to the side. Placing his hands on my thighs, he stared up at me with pure desire on his face.

  “Stop talking and stop fighting this. All I want is your pussy wrapped around my tongue.”

  He lifted my legs and planted my feet on his shoulders, holding them in place as he slowly kissed the inside of my thighs, edging closer and closer to my pussy. Once there, he gave it a tender kiss and licked at the lips.

  A soft moan unfurled from my throat. I dropped my head back onto the pillow and peered down at him, watching everything he was doing. Holding his intense stare, I slipped a hand down my stomach and used a single finger above my slit, pulling upward to expose my clit.

  A wicked grin flashed at me and then he went at it full-force. He cupped his mouth over the pink bud and slammed his tongue against it, sucking, moving side to side and in quick circles.

  When I lifted my hand to grab a handful of his soft, obsidian hair, he replaced it with his, keeping my clit exposed and pressing down on my navel.

  I clamped my legs around his head, breathing faster. His tongue went down my slit, dipping inside of my pussy and then coming back up. Teeth nipped the hardening bud and my body arched, forcing his face deeper.

  Facial hair scratched against me, heightening the pleasure. The sounds he made it seem as if he were enjoying a five-star meal.

  He kept at it, reaching his hands up to grab my tits, kneading them to the point that it hurt—in the best way. When I came, it was with a breathy moan and a pleasured whimper. He lapped at my clit after, gently placing my trembling legs back on the bed.

  When he rose up, there was a smug grin on his juice-covered face. “Damn, you come so pretty, babygirl.”

  “Here,” I demanded, my voice foreign to my own ears. I reached for him and he happily settled against me. Chest to chest, I licked my come from around his mouth before kissing him—hard.

  My body was thrumming with what felt like small jolts of electricity.

  After coming from his tongue, I desperately wanted his thick cock inside me, filling my pussy over and over again.

  He laughed against my mouth when I dropped my hands to his jeans, trying to shove them down. Kind enough to assist me, his boots hit the floor and then his pants joined them, followed by his drawers.

  Both completely naked, I pushed against his chest until he understood that I wanted him on his back. With another laugh, he obliged and rolled until I was sitting on top of him, slick pussy resting against solid muscle.

  His beautifully engorged cock sat right there.

  I wrapped my hand around it, feeling its warmth and his pulse. My pussy clenched in anticipation, another gush of arousal coming forth just remembering the feel of it.

  I didn’t think of anything right then but me and him. I wanted this man, and I was going to have all the parts of him I could get, especially this one.

  “What are you doing, little dea?” he asked, more than a small bit of amusement in his tone.

  It was only the second time he’d called me that, and I still hadn’t figured out what it meant. Feeling bold, I gave him my sweetest smile and raised myself up, gripping him tightly now. “Isn’t it obvious?”

  His lips parted to say some more than likely smartass remark but, before he had the chance, I fully sat myself on his cock, something between a moan and scream falling from my mouth as I stretched around him, feeling incredibly full.

  His curse had me grinning and slightly leaning back. Rolling my hips, I rode him fast, unabashedly vocal about how good he felt.

  This didn’t last long. With a groaned, “Shit,” I was flat on my back and sucking in a sharp breath. He glared down at me, bracing his muscled arms on either side of my head.

  “You don’t fuck me.” Thrust. “I fuck you.” Thrust. “Hard. Rough.” Thrust. Until your pussy is choking every drop of nut from my dick and you’re chanting my name like a prayer.” Proving his point, he began power-driving into me. “One day, I’m going to make you bleed for me, babygirl. My blade will be in your pussy and my dick will be in your ass.” He slapped the globe harshly.

  He fucked me until a fine sheen of sweat dripped from both of us, lurching down to bite and make me scream whenever the urge struck him.

  When he suddenly grabbed my throat with both hands, he repositioned himself so that my body was slightly lifted off the bed and our pubic bones were touching. He slowed dramatically, rolling his hips with careful concentration.

  The feeling was overwhelming, bringing unshed tears to my eyes. I didn’t know if it was the worst thing I’d ever felt or the best. His cock felt as if it were going to split me down the middle, but it also touched places inside me that had my pussy contracting repeatedly, juices saturating him so thoroughly it coated his balls.

  “Malik,” I mewled, fisting the sheets.

  “Again,” he demanded, dropping one hand to slap my clit.

  “Malik,” I screamed, writhing beneath him.

  He rolled his hips a little faster, pinching and slapping my clit every few seconds. His grip grew tighter the closer I got to climax.

  “Come for me, dea. Let me feel your pussy squeezing this dick.” He slammed into me, hitting my g-spot and rolling my clit with four fingers.

  A pressure burst, sending a spray of clear fluid from inside me. His name fell from my lips on a barrage of moans just like he wanted as I came on a soundless scream, burying my head in the pillow.

  “Fucking beautiful,” he groaned, picking up his pace.

  He continued fucking me, using every spare minute we had, pulling out and releasing his warm come all over my stomach, swirling it into my skin by spelling his name.

  Chapter Ten

  decem

  For all of his intensity and the darkness swirling inside him, he handled me like the bomb I was.

  Outside of our bodies twisting together, he was careful with me, rough only when he needed to be. It was all new. I’d never had it before and the feelings it invoked had me silently dwelling on all of it. Of course, Maliki noticed what I was doing.

  “You aren’t going to make this easy for me,” he said quietly, running a soapy hand down my back.

  Blinking, I glanced away from the tiled wall and looked over my shoulder at him. As that this was once a nursing home, the shower was plenty spacious enough.

  “What do you mean?”

  He slipped the rag around to my front, careful where his cock had just left me sore and bruised. I sighed contentedly and leaned back further against him, taking comfort from his warmth more than the shower’s.

  “I mean you’re going to compare me to the piece of shit who hurt you even when you don’t mean to. You aren’t going to believe me when I tell you I’d never let you down.”

  “Malik…” With furrowed brows, I turned around until my chest was pressed to his and looked up, shoving my messy hair out of my face. “How can you be okay with that?”

  “He was before me. The bad shit. I’m confident one day it won’t matter, because I am your forever. The good shit.”

  I could tell he fully believed what he was saying, which in turn made me believe in him. “So you’re serious? Even with all my issues you want…um.”

  “You,” he finished, taking this opportunity to grab a handful of ass. “Did I not make myself clear? Twice, now? You’re already mine. I think you’ve been mine since I saw you through the bushes.”

  “Like a rebound?” I checked, ignoring that last creeper confession.

  “What the fuck? No, you could never be a rebound. Why is it so hard for you to…” he shook his head and expelled a deep breath. “My words won’t mean shit to you, but I can show you in a million ways why you and I are going be legendary together—vicious, chaotic gods.”

  I stared at his chest and strummed my fingers against his bicep. Those words alone made me want to see this through till the very end. My pesky demons were at rapt attention, screaming at me to let them play with his.

  But was Maliki Erebus worth the risk?

  It was a question I’d never seriously considered until this moment. Everything with him was so intense. I was always on my toes and wondering what he’d do next. In a way, I liked that.

  He made me feel strong when I was by his side and weak when I was underneath him. His loyalty to his family was unquestionable. It didn’t hurt that he was the most beautiful man I had ever seen and knew exactly how to make me feel at peace.

  He was that lethal cocktail I’d once referred to, something easy to get addicted to. He wouldn’t just break my heart, he’d shatter me into dust and watch as I was swept away into nothing.

  Was he worth it?

  Yes, I think he was.

  “I’m going to give you the benefit of the doubt, but I think we both know you weren’t going to let me object.”

  “I knew you were brilliant. Now that we’re on the same page, don’t be afraid to fall in love with me.”