This was interesting. I didn’t know Luce had been exclusive with anyone. I pictured the way he was with me, putting a faceless girl in my place, then promptly scrubbed that from my brain.

  “We weren’t anything like what you’re doing a shitty job of implying.”

  “Had we been, she would be sitting where my dove is.” His tone was casual, giving nothing away. “Now, if you’re done trying to get a reaction out of her, let’s get started on the reason you stopped by.” He stood from the table and carried his bowl to the sink.

  Maliki and Zane followed his lead. Shortly after, Cam and Nyx vanished to talk privately, leaving me with Addy and Bella.

  “Does he usually just leave you alone like this?” Addy asked.

  “This is my first day not being locked away.” I didn’t realize how true this was until after I said it. In more ways than one.

  “Are you really this sweet?”

  I scoffed, unable to help myself. No one who had been around me long-term would use such an adjective when describing me.

  Sweet was Bella and Dasia. It was poppies thriving in sunshine. I never got the chance to be. I’d been raised to be something else entirely. Without belonging to a faction, there was no other choice. I was a rose plucked free of all its petals, leaving nothing but thorns to grow in their place.

  “Nothing about who I am aligns with that word.”

  “Thank Satanas for that,” she breathed. “Lucifuge would have eaten you alive. Don’t get me wrong, you’re going to have your hands full, but at least you’re not as delicate as you look.”

  I didn’t think I looked delicate at all, but I supposed no one saw themselves as other people did.

  “When do you come back again?” Bella asked her.

  “We have a few more leads to chase, and then we’ll swing through here.”

  “Anything about where she might be?”

  “You know I won’t tell you anything like that unless it’s solid. I see what it does to you when we come up empty-handed.”

  Bella grew quiet and nodded, pushing back her chair. “I’m going to take a shower. I trust you won’t do something crazy like run off.” Without waiting for me to reply, she turned and walked away.

  Addy stared after her with a slight frown on her face. “Do you have any siblings?”

  “I had—have—an older brother.” I corrected the terminology. I wasn’t placing a death certificate on Amo’s head until I had proof he was gone.

  He was even more resilient than me. If I could make it this far, I believed he could do the same.

  “Really?” Addy sat taller in her chair, strumming her fingers on the tabletop. “What’s his name?”

  “Amo.”

  The strumming stopped. “Hm,” she hmphed through folded lips. “Is he still at A.R.C?”

  “Maybe. I haven’t seen him in a long time. The girls are kept away from the boys.”

  She nodded and stood but didn’t go anywhere. Her cloud-colored eyes seemed to soften as she regarded me.

  “Have Cam or Luce mentioned a tape to you?”

  “No…” I schooled my features, knowing precisely what she was talking about.

  “Okay, well, if what I think is happening is really happening, then you and I will have plenty of time to talk and get to know each other. Right now, I need to go see what they’re doing.” She smiled and pushed in her chair. “If you’re what he’s been waiting for, he’ll be very good to you. I sincerely hope you do the same.”

  She left then, leaving me to wonder how she could have seen any of those tapes I was on. Who else at this table would have seen them? And why did everyone seem to think Luce and I were going to have some stellar relationship? Was the pull between us that obvious?

  My thoughts whirled at a speed that was hard to keep up with. I wanted to hit pause and just breathe for a minute. Life kept flipping me this way and that.

  I took my bowl to the sink and rinsed it clean, staring out the window when I finished. Nightfall was getting closer, which meant my time to plan was getting shorter.

  When me and the girls first decided to run away, it all seemed so simple, but the world was forever changing. I found it unrealistic to think that things were remotely the same as they had been when I was eleven years old. Being locked away didn’t stop time from moving on.

  My chaos wouldn’t stop it from continuing to do so even now. The A.R.C was out there without the key to sealing their alliance. The Stags were out there, the man meant to marry me amongst them, his bride now holed up with the Savages.

  After the message Luce just sent, I had no idea what was going to happen in response.

  There wasn’t any doubt in my mind that something would.

  But they weren’t the only ones I had to worry about. Various factions and people looking do exactly what I was doing were all out there somewhere, fighting to find their place in the Badlands’ hierarchy.

  The choice I needed to make seemed rather obvious. I was raised to be a survivalist. The only rule in life was: there were no rules. You had to do whatever was necessary to make it.

  Aligning myself with the Savages made logical sense. I wasn’t worried about the initial acceptance; I was bothered by what would come after.

  What did being his mean?

  What would become of me once I made a deal with the devil?

  CHAPTER SIXTEEN

  Luce didn’t speak to me until after everyone left.

  I was sitting on the couch when he came back in from outside and sat down, but not beside me. He placed himself where he would be able to see my whole face.

  He wasn’t in his bloodied shirt anymore. He wasn’t wearing a shirt at all—not the kind of distraction I needed right then.

  His head tilted slightly to the side and he studied me with an obscured expression.

  “Do you know what I want?”

  No. “Yes.”

  “I don’t have a drawn-out speech or poetic words to sway your decision. Tell me what this is going to be. Are you staying with me? Or do you want me to let you go?”

  This wasn’t how he’d worded the question earlier. I felt like I was missing something. But then, wasn’t that what his sisters had been warning me about? Right then, it didn’t matter. I’d made up my mind.

  “I want to stay… with you,” I tacked on in case that needed to be added.

  “I already knew you’d say that.” He rose and made his way over to where I was sitting, holding out a hand.

  Without letting my thoughts ramble, I placed my hand in his and allowed him to pull me off the sofa. His fingers clasped around mine, locking our palms together.

  “What if I’d said I wanted you to let me go?”

  “I had four acolytes waiting at the end of the road to kidnap you again.”

  My jaw dropped as we reached the top of the stairs. “Then what was the point of offering the ultimatum in the first place?”

  “Sometimes I like to give people the illusion that they’re making their own choices.”

  We entered his bedroom and he kicked the door shut. Still holding my hand, he led me towards the bathroom. I purposely avoided looking at the bed.

  I wasn’t an idiot; I knew what we would be doing relatively soon. It had my stomach doing gymnastics.

  He flipped on the smaller lights and released me so that we could brush our teeth. Watching one another in the mirror, it took effort not to stare at his body. Luce had the kind of looks that could persuade a nun to renounce her faith and then burn the church down.

  “You said you had reasons for wanting to keep me here. Are you going to disclose them?”

  He finished rinsing his toothbrush and turned off his sink. “Isn’t one rather obvious?”

  I mimicked his motions, wiping my mouth with a small towelette. Turning at the waist, I propped a hand on my hip and studied his face.

  “Masculine lust?”

  “What?” he laughed, loudly. “What the fuck is masculine lust?”

  I shrugged. “A chemical in your brain.”

  Without warning, he lifted me up and sat me down on the bathroom counter, spreading my legs and stepping between them. He wrapped one arm around my waist to keep me snugly pressed against him.

  “I don’t let my dick make choices that will majorly impact my life. I’m going to fuck you, hard. I want to know exactly how it feels to be buried so deep inside you that nothing exists but me.”

  “That’s—”

  “But lust doesn’t have shit to do with why.”

  It wasn’t just my face that his words made warm. My entire body felt the promise behind what he was saying. I was so not ready for this conversation.

  I placed my hands on his barren shoulders and swallowed, taking a second to gather my nerves.

  “Then what is this?”

  “This.” He gestured between me and him. “It’s the start of something neither of us were planning or could have ever been remotely prepared for. That’s exactly why it has to happen.”

  “How can you be so sure about this when you don’t know who I am?”

  “I know more than you’d like me to. I know you’re mine. I know I took out a man’s fucking eye over you, and that was just foreplay. How much bigger do you want a declaration of commitment to be? I could bring you a head, but that lacks creativity. My dad did that.”

  Why was I not surprised he was being serious? If he really took Kevin’s eye for me, that was oddly endearing.

  No one ever did anything for me before, aside from the girls. I didn’t want an arsenal of limbs, though. That was gross.

  “Luce, I don’t want or need you to bring me anyone’s body parts. In fact, please don’t.”

  “Well, you’re mine now, so tell me: what do you want?”

  Too much. I wanted things that were unobtainable. Parts of my past to be in my future. My brother and the girls. A.R.C to burn to the goddamned ground.

  I wanted Bella to be free of whatever was haunting her, and Cam to be healed from the trauma he’d have to bear as a permanent reminder every day of his life. I know I’d just met these people, but my heart had already started pulling them in.

  The man standing right in front of me especially.

  I wanted him and whatever this connection was, but for the first time in a long while, the unknown was terrifying. I wasn’t looking to have my heart torn apart by Satan.

  “You’re going to be okay with me,” Luce said quietly. “I can’t promise you much right now, but I will keep you safe and as happy as I can until the day comes. I’ve got more to offer.”

  I traced a finger up and down the back of his neck, peering into his onyx eyes. He had so much soul for a soulless man. It felt unexplainably familiar to me. How was it possible that we were just now finding one another?

  I pulled his mouth to me, pressing his warm lips to mine. Though I’m sure it went against every fiber of his nature, he allowed me to probe and explore his mouth, kissing me back as gently as ever.

  When we pulled apart. I took a shaky breath, sucking in another when he shifted forward, pressing an undeniably large bulge against my pussy. Unable to contain ourselves or the growing tension between us, he took over.

  His hands grabbed hold of my face and pulled me back in for a fiery and passionate kiss. He sucked on my tongue, dropping one hand to the button of my shorts.

  I ran my palms all over his body, dragging them down his stomach to feel each crevasse and ridge that framed his abs.

  “Not here,” he stated, his voice sounding as normal as usual if not for a slightly grittier undertone. He wrapped my legs around him and carried me to his bed, placing me directly in the center.

  My shorts and underwear were gone within seconds, my top and bra joining them somewhere on the floor.

  As I laid there naked, watching him undress the rest of the way, something dipped in my lower stomach. His body was downright sinful.

  When my eyes passed over a dark patch of curls and reached his cock, my brows shot up. It was long… thick… and pierced? There were two metal bars attached near the head. Didn’t that hurt?

  He climbed onto the bed and spread my legs. For a moment, neither of us did anything but stare at one another, and without any words needing to be spoken aloud, his hands began to venture over every inch of my skin, his lips chasing after them.

  My breathing grew shallow.

  Every nerve in my body and brain became electrified. The ache he elicited between my thighs was almost unbearable. Being aroused like this was new to me. It had always been something forcibly done. I was ready for whatever he wanted to do to me.

  He poised himself above my body, one muscular arm keeping his weight off mine. His free hand went to my pussy, teasing between the folds. “You’re fucking drippin.”

  He gripped my thigh and positioned it over his hip, dragging me closer to him. “I’m going to take everything from you, baby. But I won’t steal this.”

  He was asking for permission?

  “Take it,” I breathed. I could have screamed the words at him. I’d have delivered it with a bow if need be. This was the one thing the A.R.C valued the most.

  I wanted it gone.

  Fuck all their sacred vows.

  He made a sound and then positioned my other leg. He began to push inside me, bringing his mouth to mine the second I whimpered.

  There was more than mild discomfort, the pressure ten times worse than pain. I could feel every inch of his cock as it pushed against my pussy’s natural resistance, the metal bars adding another factor to the sensation.

  He reached between, where our bodies were joined, and used his hand to guide himself, pushing into me until he could go no further.

  “Fuck, Star.”

  I bit down on my lower lip, fighting the urge to push him away. My hands went to his muscled back, nails digging into the flesh.

  A stinging sensation coupled with the sheer size of his cock, stretching the part of me that had never been explored by anyone but him.

  “You good?” he asked.

  The noticeable strain in his voice almost made me laugh.

  “Move,” I urged, needing him to do something other than hold still.

  Warm breath fanned my neck as he laughed. He withdrew, pushing back in. I breathed through it, settling into the tempo he created. My eyes pricked from the mix of pain and a budding pleasure.

  When he abruptly stopped, I looked up at him, confused.

  “I’m not fucking you hard enough, and you’re not going to come. Both of these things need to change.”

  I winced as he pulled out. He slid down my body and laid flat on his stomach.

  He hooked my legs over his shoulders and put his entire mouth on my pussy. This was entirely new to me. When he dipped his tongue inside me, I half-whimpered, half-moaned, grabbing for his sheets as he repeated the motion.

  His hands slid beneath my ass and he lifted me up so that my pussy was practically smothering him. His obsidian eyes flashed to mine and he gave me a dark grin. “I can taste all that sinful innocence on my goddamn tongue.”

  He closed his lips over my clit and began to suck. One finger slid inside my pussy, followed by another. The sensation was mildly uncomfortable, but it quickly faded.

  Budding pleasure took root in my lower stomach, the sensation growing tighter and tighter.

  Luce’s eyes burned into mine as he used his tongue to roll my clit. He curled his fingers upward and rocked them in and out of me, a sloshing sound swept away by my moans. I could feel myself climbing towards a peak, clenching around his fingers.

  “That’s it, baby. Just like that.”

  The growing band snapped, sending a rush of pleasure coursing through my veins as I sucked in a breath. I rooted my fingers in Luce’s hair, grinding my pussy against his face.

  He kept lapping at me, using his fingers to quickly bring me back to another peak, but this time he stopped before I could fall. He kissed back up my body, staring down at me.

  “You are beautiful,” he murmured, teasing my slit with the glistening, red-tinged head of his cock.

  I squirmed, moaning his name when he flexed his hips and slid back inside me, recreating the burn and stretching sensation. He didn’t hold back this time. He braced one muscled arm beside my head and gripped my thigh with the other as he pounded me into his mattress.

  I sucked in ragged breaths, glancing down to watch his cock, covered by arousal and blood, plunge in and out of my pussy. The sight and sensation of him inside me, the flex of his muscles, and the calculating look on such a sinisterly gorgeous face had my pussy spasming around him.

  “Shit,” he cursed as I clenched around his cock.

  I half-screamed, half-sobbed and grabbed his muscular ass, pulling him deeper inside me.

  He grabbed my hands and pinned them above my head. I couldn’t move beneath his weight or the force of his thrust.

  His eyes blazed into mine, the look in them sending a shiver racing down my spine. It was like he was seeing right inside me, weaving through a maze and leaving his mark. Pain and pleasure spiraled through my core, the sound of sweaty skin smacking against skin echoing in the background of my gasps and moans.

  “You’re mine,” he ground out, pushing deeper inside me.

  “Yours,” I agreed. “Yours.”

  My head was a mess, but that word seemed clearer than ever when I knew there was no going back from this.

  He could have me for a million different reasons.

  Right now, the one I cared most about was that this had been my decision. Even if he said I’d never had a choice, he let me choose this.

  He thrust one last time, hitting a spot I didn’t know existed. I tore my arms free from his grasp and clung to him, feeling his cock empty inside me.

  A kiss came to my forehead before he rolled off, the action unexpectedly sweet. He hooked an arm around my body and dragged me to his side, neither of us speaking. That was okay with me. I didn’t need words with him. Silence could say enough. I shut my eyes and concentrated on regaining control of my breathing.

  I didn’t know what would happen between us now. Whatever this was, we’d just taken it one step further. It went beyond allowing him inside me.

  This was the catalyst for what would be the end of one part of my life and the beginning of the next.