And since it’s hard to say no to a global superstar like George, she slipped into the limo, and soon the driver put the vehicle into motion again, and she found herself alone with George, who was holding up a bottle of champagne and two glasses.

  She stared at the man, and when he seemed to realize that his offer was a little inappropriate, he promptly returned the champagne to a small fridge, and said ruefully, “I’m sorry for hijacking you like this, Mrs. Kingsley, but it has come to my attention that you might be the only person who can help me out of a particularly nasty spot of trouble.”

  “The drone footage,” she said, nodding. She studied her surroundings. She’d never ridden in a limo as spectacularly opulent as this one before: the interior was all cream-colored leather, and it was a lot more spacious than you’d think from the outside.

  “So you’re admitting that you have the film,” said George with satisfaction.

  “My dad shot it accidentally, and I understand that you want it.”

  “I do,” he said, “and I think you can easily understand why.”

  “Yes, I can,” she said. “I’m sure your wife wouldn’t appreciate that film turning up in the public domain.”

  The actor winced. “Look, I made a mistake. I should never have engaged in… relations with my neighbor’s wife, but what’s done is done, and I can’t turn back the clock. All I want is for you and your family to give me a second chance. To prove I’m not that guy.”

  “You don’t have to convince me, Mr. Calhoun.”

  “George, please,” said the actor, who looked even more handsome in person than in the pictures or on the big screen. He had an engaging smile, and a twinkle in his eye.

  “Frankly what you do in the privacy of your own home is of no concern to me, or my dad. If you want to have ‘relations’ with your neighbor’s wife or all of your neighbors’ wives, that’s your business.”

  “I’m glad to hear it,” said George, nodding with satisfaction. “So when I sent my lawyer to your father’s house this morning, why didn’t he comply? Why did he decide to keep the film?”

  “Because your lawyer ambushed us,” said Odelia. “And you have to admit his approach was a little heavy-handed—with his NDA and his legal threats.”

  “Sam does have a tendency to go all-out,” said George with a tight smile.

  “Look, I want to give you back that film, now all I need to do is convince my dad.”

  “How do you rate your chances?” asked George eagerly.

  “I’m sure he’ll agree,” said Odelia, which caused the actor to break into a wide grin.

  “You don’t know what a relief that is to hear,” he said. “When do you think I can have it?”

  “Why don’t you send your lawyer over again tonight? By then I’ll have spoken to my dad.”

  “I tell you what—I’ll come over personally. How does that sound?”

  “That sounds great,” said Odelia, much surprised. “My mom and gran will be thrilled.”

  “Then that’s what we’ll do, Mrs. Kingsley.”

  “Just call me Odelia,” she said with a smile.

  And as he pressed her hand warmly, then pressed a kiss on it like a real gentleman, she thought about asking him for an exclusive interview, but then decided against it. First they needed to get this whole business with the drone footage resolved, and maybe then she would ask him to sit down with her for an exclusive one-on-one. At least if by then he’d still look at her the way he was looking now: like a puppy receiving a favorite treat!

  14

  When Dooley and I returned home, I kept looking around, expecting that gang of kids to suddenly pop out from behind a tree or car. It’s not a lot of fun knowing that you’re being hunted, especially since cats are usually the hunters, not the hunted!

  “I wonder if those kids will leave us in peace,” I said as I nervously looked over to where a man was putting out the trash.

  “I think so,” said Dooley. “After Wilbur kicked them out they won’t dare to come after us again.”

  “I wouldn’t be so sure. One of them had to be saved by the fire department, and still they didn’t think twice to break into Wilbur’s house and try to grab us again.”

  “But what do they want with us, Max?”

  “I have absolutely no idea, Dooley.”

  “Maybe they just like cats a lot?”

  “If that’s the case, they like us a little too much for my taste.”

  “Or maybe they’ve read Odelia’s stories and now they want to meet us?”

  It is true that Odelia writes plenty of stories featuring her cats, since people seem to like reading about our adventures, so maybe Dooley was onto something.

  “So you think this could be a gang of fanatic fans?” I asked.

  “Could be, Max. Fans do get a little fanatical from time to time. Like George Calhoun’s fans, or Chuck Crush’s. I’ve heard they go so far as to try and steal their underwear or their socks, just so they can feel closer to their idols.”

  “I hope they won’t steal my underwear,” I said as I glanced over to my right.

  Dooley laughed. “Oh, Max, you’re funny. You don’t have any underwear!”

  “And a good thing, too. Imagine what we would look like, wearing Calvins over our furs? Pretty silly if you ask me.”

  We’d finally arrived home in one piece, without encountering that vicious gang of kids again, and quickly made our way along the small strip of green that divides Odelia’s house from her parents’ place, and made our way through to the backyard… where we encountered Brutus and Harriet, looking distinctly rattled.

  “What’s going on?” I asked immediately,

  “Oh, Max, we just went through the most horrible experience!” Harriet lamented.

  “We were hunted,” Brutus announced.

  “Hunted? What do you mean?”

  “A gang of young thugs showed up out of nowhere and followed us around everywhere,” said Harriet. “They chased us up and down the street, and even up a tree!”

  “Luckily we managed to get down by jumping to a nearby shed,” said Brutus.

  “But they were waiting for us, and we had to go on the run again!”

  “Finally we managed to hide in a field full of brambles and nettles.”

  “And that seemed to do the trick. They stopped following us,” Brutus concluded.

  And I could see the evidence of his words in the pieces of bramble still sticking to his fur, and the nettles adorning Harriet’s head.

  “The same thing happened to us,” said Dooley. “We had to be saved from a tree.”

  “Saved from a tree!” Harriet said, aghast.

  “Chase had to get me out of a tree not once but twice,” I said, not proud of my predicament.

  “Kids?” asked Harriet, a hunted look in her green eyes.

  “Kids,” I confirmed somberly.

  “I hate kids,” Brutus growled.

  “Me, too,” I said.

  “Oh, I like kids,” said Dooley. “Except when they’re chasing us around, of course.”

  “I don’t know why they do this to us,” Harriet lamented as she discovered a piece of nettle dangling from her ear and removed it with a look of extreme disgust.

  “It must have something to do with our collars,” said Brutus.

  I blinked as his words registered. “You know, Brutus, you just might be right.”

  “Of course he’s right,” said Harriet. “Brutus is never wrong. Though you have to explain it to me again, honey bunny, cause I still don’t understand how it works.”

  “I don’t know how it works either, honey buns, but it can’t be a coincidence that these kids started chasing us around the moment Vena gave us these collars.” He gave me a somber look. “They called me MokeBrutus. Can you imagine?”

  “They called me MokeMax,” I said.

  “I think I heard them call me MokeHarriet,” said Harriet.

  “And I’m MokeDooley,” said Dooley cheerfully.

  “It must have something to do with this Mokemon business,” I said. “It’s owned by the same company that makes our collars. Though what the collars have to do with these kids is frankly beyond me.”

  “They did seem to know exactly where we were, didn’t they, Max?” said Dooley. “So maybe our collars are somehow connected to their phones?”

  “Do you think they hacked our collars, Max?” asked Harriet. “Is that even possible?”

  “Vena said they were hacker proof,” said Brutus.

  “Vena said a lot of things,” I said. “I just hope it’s over and done with now. Those kids took years off my life.”

  “And a lot of flab, too,” said Brutus, patting my belly. “So when are we starting our training regimen, buddy?”

  “Um…” I said, not exactly looking forward to Brutus becoming my personal trainer. Somehow I imagined blood, sweat and tears would become part of my future if he became my fitness coach.

  “Oh, Max has the most amazing idea about our pet flap, you guys,” said Dooley, and proceeded to apprise our friends of the marvelous new Pet Funnel 5000. And as he brought them up to speed, I suddenly thought I saw a head appearing in the rose bushes lining the back of the garden. And as I watched closer, my heart immediately sped up, for I was sure it was those pesky kids again. But then I saw that it wasn’t kids but a grown man!

  “Guys!” I hissed. “There’s a man hiding in the bushes!”

  “I know,” said Harriet. “It’s Chuck Crush.”

  “Chuck Crush!”

  “Yeah, imagine that: Chuck Crush hiding in our bushes!”

  “I think he’s waiting for Odelia,” said Brutus. “He’s been there ever since we got home.”

  “He thinks we can’t see him,” Harriet said with a giggle. “But of course we noticed immediately.”

  “He’s naked,” I said when the man popped up again, before disappearing from view.

  “Yeah, he’s wearing boxers,” said Harriet.

  “But why?” I said, much bewildered.

  Harriet shrugged. “Your guess is as good as mine, Max.”

  “There are tribes in the Amazon Rainforest who never wear clothes,” Dooley said. “So maybe Chuck Crush is a member of one of those tribes?”

  And as we watched, Chuck popped up again, before slowly sinking out of view, like a submerging vessel.

  And then suddenly I noticed how a second head appeared, a few bushes to Chuck’s right. It was the same blond woman we’d seen over at the General Store, searching Wilbur’s bedroom. She, too, was bobbing in and out of view, presumably unaware that Chuck was close by, but luckily in her case she was fully dressed.

  “Look, there’s another one,” I said, gesturing to the blond woman.

  “I don’t know what this world is coming to,” Harriet lamented. “Kids chasing us up trees, naked men and women hiding in the bushes. Strange things are happening, you guys, and I’m not sure I can explain what it’s all about.”

  Just then, Odelia arrived home, and immediately Chuck emerged and walked up to her. He was indeed naked, apart from a pair of boxers with a unicorn motif, and had plastered his most charming smile on his face. But when he saw Chase following behind Odelia, that smile quickly disappeared, and the famous actor performed an abrupt about-face, and headed back to his trusty bushes, where, like Tarzan, he presumably felt more at ease, reminding him as they did of his homeland in the Amazon Rainforest, and the naked tribe to which he no doubt belonged.

  Odelia and Chase, who’d witnessed the scene in wordless surprise, now stared at one another, and would probably have commented on the peculiar scene if not suddenly the blond woman walked up to them, also smiling her most charming smile.

  “Hi, there,” she said. “I’m Tammy.” And to show them that she came in peace, she held out a hand, which Odelia lightly shook, and so did Chase. “Now you’re probably wondering what I’m doing here, but you folks have got something that belongs to me, and I would like to have it back.” She gave Chase a wink. “You know what I mean.”

  “Um…” said Chase, who looked much impressed by this very attractive woman.

  Suddenly Chuck piped up from behind the bushes, “Excuse me, but that film belongs to me.”

  “No, it doesn’t, Chuck,” said the woman. “So butt out.” Apparently Tammy had spotted Chuck, which didn’t surprise me, for his attempts at obfuscation were ham-fisted at best.

  Chuck now popped up from his bush again, and approached, diffident at first, like a timid butterfly, then asserting himself with more vigor. “Look, that film features my best bud, and I think it’s only fair that you hand it to me, his official emissary in this delicate matter.”

  “That film also features me, Chuck,” said Tammy. “So it clearly belongs to me.”

  “George told me that he wants that film, and what George wants, George gets.”

  Both the actor and the blonde now turned to Odelia and Chase, who’d been eying the scene with astonishment written all over their faces, and it was a testament to the strangeness of the scene that the first words out of Odelia’s mouth were, “Why aren’t you dressed, Chuck?”

  “Does it bother you?”

  “No, it’s fine,” said Odelia, as she took in the man’s bronzed and athletic features.

  “It’s because it reminds him of his tribe,” said Dooley knowingly.

  “Look, that film is mine, and I want it,” said Tammy.

  “You’re in it,” said Chase, finally finding his voice. It wasn’t a question so much as a statement of fact.

  “That’s what I said. Oh, you’ve seen it!” She smiled. “So you know I’m not lying.” She held out her hand, her fingernails painted a pretty pink. “Just give it to Tammy, there’s a good boy.”

  “Oh, but I don’t have it,” said Chase. “Or at least not the original.”

  “Look, neither of you should bother,” said Odelia now, having sufficiently recovered from her surprise for her brain to have rebooted and work at regular capacity once more. “I promised George I’d hand him back that film tonight, so you can both go home and rest easy. No one will get to see that film except George.”

  The woman’s face took on a mulish expression. “But I don’t want George to get the film. I’m in it, too, so I have just as much right as him to get my hands on it.”

  “No, you don’t,” said Chuck. “All you want is to publish that film and reap the rewards of sudden infamy. And I for one am not gonna let you.” He held out his hand. “So please give it to me before this gold digger ruins George’s life.”

  “Who are you calling a gold digger, you sad excuse for a human being?” said Tammy, getting a little hot under her collar now.

  “There’s no need to get worked up,” said Chase, the peacemaker in him manifesting itself. “We’ll arrange things directly with George tonight, and that’ll be the end of it.”

  Tammy seemed to know when she was beaten, for she now started to walk away. “Don’t think you can get away with this,” she said, wagging a reproachful finger in our direction. “If George thinks he can screw me over, he’s got another thing coming.”

  We all watched as Tammy disappeared around the corner, and frankly I was relieved. She was clearly a very forceful personality, and I didn’t think I liked her very much. Chuck also seemed to relax, for his sixpack now turned into a fourpack, then into a twopack, then was gone, a clear sign he was easing up on those all-important abdominal muscles.

  “You weren’t kidding when you said you were going to hand that film to George?” he asked uncertainly.

  “No, I wasn’t,” said Odelia with a smile. “I saw George earlier, and I promised him I’d talk to my dad and I did. And he thinks it’s a good idea to hand the film back to George.”

  “And hopefully it will put this matter to bed once and for all,” said Chase.

  Chuck grinned at this. “Put this matter to bed. Cop humor. I love it.” But Chase wasn’t kidding, and it showed from the stern expression on his face, causing Chuck’s grin to quickly dissipate. “Look, I’m sorry,” he said. “But when George asked me to do everything in my power to get that film back for him, I told him I would, and I have. He’s my best friend. I’d do anything for that man.”

  “Even enter my mom’s bathroom dressed like that?” asked Odelia.

  “I’m always dressed like this,” said Chuck with a shrug. “I hate the feeling of clothes against my skin.”

  “Oh, I think I’ve heard of that,” said Dooley. “It’s a medical condition. Some people can’t stand the sensation of clothes next to their skin, so they like to walk around in the nude all the time.”

  “I think Chuck is just walking around like that to make an impression on Marge and Odelia, Dooley,” I said. “Hoping to convince them to hand over the film.”

  “Make an impression? I don’t understand, Max,” said Dooley.

  “Let’s just say that some women are more susceptible to a man’s arguments when he’s not wearing any clothes.”

  Dooley stared at Chuck, then back to me, and it was obvious he still didn’t get it, but at that moment, Chuck must have figured that he’d finally outstayed his welcome, and said his goodbyes before absconding from the scene.

  “Looks like soon we’ll finally have our peace and quiet back,” said Chase. “And not a minute too soon.”

  “Dad said he’ll be happy when he’s finally rid of that film,” said Odelia.

  And as our humans walked into the house to discuss the terms of the handover, I glanced back at our pet flap, and wondered if this was the right time to discuss the Pet Funnel 5000. I decided it wasn’t. Better wait until after this drone business was finally over and done with. Odelia would be happy, and more susceptible to my arguments.

  15

  Dooley was staring before him and thinking hard. He still didn’t fully comprehend why that film was so important to George. So the man had kissed a woman who wasn’t his wife, that much he understood, but why was everybody so eager to get their hands on that film? Wasn’t it nice of George to be kissing a woman? It was, after all, what he did in his movies, so why did he think his wife would be upset if she discovered the truth?