When I opened my eyes, the shock of seeing him standing behind me wasn’t as troublesome as the icy look in his eyes. I slowly turned around, gripping the edge of the dresser. A shiver of uneasiness coursed through me as he took several deep breaths.

  He stood in the same position for a full two minutes, his eyes never blinking. But I could feel the passion he’d had for me shutting down, closing the chapter in his life, unnerving calm replacing the usual desire. I’d done nothing but remind him of the violence necessary in this ugly world, even giving him permission to return to the monster he’d trained himself to be.

  None of his moves were quick as he reached around me, taking the weapon into his hand. He stared at it for some time before wrapping his fingers around my wrist, twisting it uncomfortably then placing the gun in my hand. I watched in horror as he pointed the barrel against his chest.

  “Do it.” His voice was deep, rich, and dangerous.

  “I wasn’t going to shoot you.” My voice held no real conviction even as an emotional rollercoaster was racing through me. The thought of losing him sickened me, so much so I was lightheaded.

  “Please don’t insult me, Emily. You were trained by your father in several ways, including self defense. I have no doubt part of the training was dedicated to the use of weapons of every grade. Is my assumption correct?”

  “I…”

  “Tell me!” The harshness and iciness of his words were devastating, my pulse climbing to crazy levels. While I was getting used to his mood swings, there was something entirely different about his coldness.

  “Yes. Yes!”

  He nodded once, his eyelids only half open. “Then you know exactly what to do and the result of your decision. So go ahead, Emily. Now is your single chance. I assure you that you will never get another.” He jammed the barrel against his chest, his jaw clenched tightly, accentuating the growing stubble that added to his insanely gorgeous looks.

  The ugly silence continued, although the rapid beating of my heart echoed in my ears. I couldn’t believe I’d hesitated, but the truth as to why was even worse than everything I’d endured. The thought of hurting him was unacceptable. He’d slithered his way into my mind, dragging every aspect of his dark needs deep inside my soul. Now I couldn’t think clearly, the longing for his touch and harsh kisses, his cock buried deep inside overwhelming.

  “No,” I stated defiantly, lifting my chin, unable to stop trembling. I hated every reaction around him, but he’d crawled so far under my skin that I wanted his darkness. I craved the danger, the explosive nature of our relationship.

  “Would you prefer I do it for you, sweet Emily? Would you like to see my blood pooling on the tile floor?”

  “Why are you being this way? Why? I’m sorry. I wasn’t thinking.”

  After releasing his hold, he dared inch closer, his intoxicating scent only pushing me into a mindless fog, the raging desire build building much like the terrible heartache.

  “Because I’m a horrible man and deserve to die a thousand deaths. Isn’t that what you were thinking?”

  I shook my head several times, shifting to the side then lowering my arm. “I made the determination that nothing good would happen if I used the weapon.”

  “You made the decision?” There was a flicker of amusement in his angry eyes as he made fun of me.

  “Yes.”

  “You. Made. The. Decision?”

  The vibrations erupting from his voice were even more terrifying. “I… Yes, Kostya. I did. Get over it. If you want to die, then put a bullet in your brain yourself. I’m not going to give you an easy way out.”

  The air between us was stagnant, but the amusement in his cavernous eyes had died, another flash of anger then surprise that I’d dared challenge the great Russian mercenary. Fuck him. I refused to be treated like a goddamn prisoner any longer.

  His nostrils flared and he looked away, chuckling in such an evil tone that I wanted to slap him. How dare he do this to me.

  “There’s blood on your shirt. You killed someone else. Didn’t you?”

  “I did what I had to do.”

  “You enjoy murdering people. It’s some sickness, the bloodlust allowing you to feel something. Isn’t that the truth?”

  “Be careful, Emily. Getting inside my head will do nothing but destroy your understanding of humanity as I have none.”

  “Bullshit. I’ve seen it with Kiki. With the horses. You do care.”

  He grabbed my hand with both of his, purposely placing the barrel against his chest once again. Then he yanked at my fingers until he was able to drive my index finger through the trigger guard, pressing it against the trigger. “Just put me out of my misery. That will make you feel self-righteous.”

  “Stop it. Just stop it, Kostya. I don’t want to shoot you!” I was far too close to hysteria, the thin line between yearning for him and hating him vanishing.

  “You don’t?” he asked, narrowing his eyes even more. “I beg to differ, Emily. You believe that it’s going to be easy to get off my property? Do you honestly think that even if you managed to break free of the confines and get past my soldiers that there would be anyone to help you?”

  “What do you want me to say to you? Do you want me to stroke your ego, telling you that you’re the most powerful man on Earth? Do you want me to beg constantly for my freedom? Is that it? Is that really what you need to allow yourself to sleep at night? I know what you’re made of. Brutality and hatred. You thrive on causing pain because that’s the only way you can look yourself in the mirror, the only method of releasing all the anguish that’s burning through your soul, stripping you of any humanity. But I know there’s something else inside. I’ve felt it every time you touch me, every kiss, every…” My words were caught in my throat, the ugliness of the way he was looking at me choking the life of me.

  “I have no soul. The sooner you figure that out, the better off you’ll be.”

  “My God. You are one arrogant son of a bitch.”

  “I’m protective, Emily.”

  “The only person I need protection from is you.”

  “Then go ahead and pull the trigger.”

  He forcefully pushed my finger down a second time, the strength he used powerful enough that with any flinch I made, I’d give him what he was searching for. Why? Why was he doing this? To test me? To see what I was made of? To see if his goddamn flower could care about him? “I’m not going to, Kostya. That would be an easy way out for you. Is that what you really want? Then what would happen?”

  As he lowered his head, the heat of his body created a wave of anxiety as well as desire. I hated the combination. I loathed craving him, but he’d broken through a barrier that would never be restructured, never as strong as it had been for so many years in my life.

  “Do it!” When he squeezed my hand, there was nothing I could do. I screamed the second I heard the hard click. Instant visions of our sinful passion rushed through my mind like a tidal wave, the raw vibrations unlike anything I’d ever felt before. He’d awakened me, electrified me. I couldn’t lose him. No. No!

  “No!” My mind erupted from the horror of what had just happened. I didn’t want him to die. No. No. No! Panting, I managed to jerk my head away, realizing instantly what he’d done, the repulsive game he’d just played. “You bastard. You sick fucking bastard!” I immediately dropped the weapon, issuing a hard punch against his jaw. The gun was unloaded. A test of my feelings and my loyalty.

  While he turned his head after the blow, he didn’t respond at first. Then he swept me into his arms with such ferocity my breath was ripped from my lungs. I stood where I was, shaking as my mind tried to process what he’d just done. I fell against the dresser, no longer able to control my heavy breathing. “Bastard.”

  “Did you really worry I’d die, mi hermosa flor?”

  “Yes.” He grabbed my wrists, shoving and pinning me against the dresser.

  “Would you mourn me if I was gone, mi hermosa flor?”

  “God, yes.”

  “You have no idea what you do to me, Emily Shephard. None. My needs are insatiable. I can’t get enough of you.”

  “Then fuck me. Just fuck me.”

  He narrowed his eyes before jerking me onto my toes. As I struggled to get out of his hold, our lips collided, the lust burning deep in my core utterly insatiable. When he finally let go of my hands, I wrapped my arms around his shoulders, tangling my fingers in his hair. The kiss was an explosive reminder that we couldn’t seem to get enough of each other.

  He fisted my long strands, our tongues sweeping back and forth as the lust increased, the moment of depravity even more passionate. His entire body exuded power and explosive heat, every cell exploding from a wildfire that would singe my skin. I was even more lightheaded, the unbridled hunger unlike anything I’d ever felt.

  When he pulled away, it was only long enough to flip me around to face the dresser, shoving me over the edge. An instant slice of pain tore through my system from his roughness, but as I clawed at the mirror, nothing mattered but having his cock buried inside. As I arched my back, bucking against him, the expression on his face grew more carnivorous.

  I was lost in the moment, the understanding that everything had shifted between us, a dam breaking loose. This was all about need as well as desire, a connection that could never be denied. I was terrified and confused, but I wanted this man like I needed air to breathe.

  He wasted no time, wrapping his hand around my hair at the scalp then driving his cock in with such savagery, the mirror slammed against the wall. He clamped his hand on my hip, digging his fingers in as he fucked me wildly, knocking the wind from both our chests. This was nothing more than the monster laying his final claim over my body, a reminder that no matter what I did or if I continued to try to escape, I would always belong to him.

  “Oh. Oh. Oh.” My pussy muscles ached from the roughness, but I met every brutal thrust with one of my own. My lungs were devoid of air, the fire burning within them combustible. I was shaking all over, raking my nails down the mirror, desperate for more. Oh, God, I wanted so much more.

  “You wanted to leave me,” he stated just before he smacked my bottom several times, pain exploding into my system.

  “No!” I lied, wincing as he cracked his palm against me four more times, pulling his cock until just the tip was inside. “Please, fuck me.”

  “Then tell me the truth.” He spanked me long and hard for several seconds, adding gasoline to the firestorm, my pussy so wet I could feel it trickling down both my thighs.

  “No!”

  After he brought his hand down at least six times in a row, I realized that the anguish skittering through my body only intensified the dazzling sensations.

  He bit down on my shoulder, growling like the savage he was.

  “Please, don’t stop. Just don’t stop,” I said breathlessly.

  “Then scream out my name. I need to hear to say it.”

  “Kostya. Kostya! Fuck me. I need you.”

  While his actions remained just as primal, rough, and angry, I sensed another change in the man, his possessiveness intensifying even more. He would never let me out of his sight. He would never allow me to return to my life.

  Even worse, I wasn’t certain I wanted to.

  He withdrew, teasing me, surging forward again. There was a new roughness to his touch, as if he’d realized that I wasn’t fragile. Maybe he’d infused me with his darkness, driving out all sense of rationality. Whatever the case, my hunger only continued to increase.

  He swatted me several more times, my bottom aching. I was hot and wet all over, beads of perspiration sliding down my cheeks. As I stared at our reflection in the mirror, I couldn’t imagine being fucked by any other man.

  As he plunged his cock deep inside in rapid succession, waves of pleasure tore through me, an orgasm rushing to the surface. I came harder than I had before, my voice stripped away as I threw my head back in an attempt to scream.

  “That’s it, baby. Come for me. Come hard. I want your sweet juice covering my cock.”

  His dirty words filtered into my ears, adding to the sweet rush of rapture. I shoved my hands against the mirror, grinding my hips back and forth as a single orgasm burst into a second. I was no longer certain I was standing, had no sense of time or place. And I didn’t give a shit. It was all about his touch, his kisses, his hard fucking.

  When his body finally tensed, allowing me to squeeze my muscles, the incredible guttural sounds he made were entirely different than before. He’d found his few moments of peace, an awakening of his dark soul.

  But in doing so, I would never be free of this desperate need.

  Still shaking, he crushed his body against mine, pressing heated kisses along my shoulder. I couldn’t take my eyes off him as he caressed my arm with his hand, the tender moment one I doubted would ever be repeated. When I closed my eyes, my heart began to ache. How could this be happening? How could I allow myself to fall for such a ruthless man?

  I was no closer to the answer than I’d been before, perhaps even further removed from allowing myself to face the truth. This time the silence between us wasn’t terrifying.

  “Why?” I asked.

  “Why fuck you? Because you asked,” he answered, half chuckling.

  “You know what I mean, Kostya. Why did you test me with an unloaded weapon?”

  “Because I wanted to determine how strong you were.” He finally pulled away, raking his hand down the length of my hair before walking toward the open doorway.

  Was he kidding me? I wanted to lash out, scream at him, but a hollowness rushed inside of me. He’d never been able to trust anyone in his life, at least not completely. No family. No friends. No employees. I swallowed hard, finally able to control my breathing.

  “Did I pass or fail?” I knew I was tempting the beast, the yin and yang of his moods constantly changing. If I said the wrong thing, he could become violent again, trying his best to push me away, but I had to know the truth.

  He laughed as he leaned against the doorjamb. “You’re a very strong woman, Emily Shephard. Your father would have been proud. He taught you very well how to endure the kind of pressure I’ve placed you under.”

  Spots had formed in front of my eyes. I had no idea why he was really doing this, but the sound of his voice, the treacherous arrogance reminded me of who he really was, the men he was associated with. “My father was just doing his job.”

  “So you’ve already told me. And I’ve been doing mine, including killing the three men who dared enter my property uninvited.”

  Swallowing hard, I wasn’t certain why I was interested other than learning what made him tick. I craved information of any kind. I just wanted to learn more about him. “What did they want, to steal your horses?”

  He laughed, the sound a bitter, ugly reminder of how dangerous he was. “No, Emily. They wanted something much darker.”

  “What? What could poachers want?”

  “A piece of me.”

  “You speak in riddles. You never tell me the truth.”

  “Just like you’ve not told me the truth since I walked into that diner. Eddie was protecting you. He was a close friend of your father’s. He knew your life would be in danger.”

  What? Eddie? I tried to think whether I’d seen the two of them together or heard my father talk about him. No. “That’s crazy. He didn’t know I was going to walk into that diner.” Or did he? My mother had sent me the ad. Wait a minute…

  “Is that really the truth, Emily? You’re a smart girl.” His words of admonishment pissed me off.

  “In danger. From you and the people you work for?” I snapped in response.

  “That’s one example, but there are others.”

  “Then tell me. I’m not some innocent woman who doesn’t understand how the mafia and other criminals work. You’re right in that my father taught me various aspects of your… business practices. If you were hoping I’d condone what you’ve done because my father betrayed the Bratva, then you are dead wrong.”

  He nodded, his breathing labored. “I think it’s time you better understood what your life has become. Is that what you want?”

  “Yes. I want the truth.”

  “The truth may be difficult for you to handle.”

  I walked closer, glaring at him from the side. “As I just said, I can handle it. I’ve managed to deal with you.” And just like that the incredible lust I’d felt for him was tossed aside, replaced by contempt and hatred. My mind was reeling from the whiplash.

  When he turned his head, it was as if he was trying to determine whether or not he could trust me, allowing me into his world. Why did I care? He shifted to face me, growling the moment we both heard a sharp knock. “Fuck. They know better than to interrupt me.”

  As he walked toward the bedroom door, I quickly scrambled away, yanking the sheet from the bed. He wasn’t bothered by being naked when he threw it open, facing whoever was on the other side. I was barely able to catch a glimpse of the person standing on the other side. Another soldier.

  “What is it? This had better be good,” Kostya barked.

  “It’s Aziza. Something is wrong with one of her cubs and she’s going crazy.” The voice was one I didn’t recognize. “She’s agitated the others as well. I’m not certain the fence can hold her.”

  “It’ll hold. Keep everyone away. I’ll handle this.” Kostya’s growl was low and steady, his entire body tense, his muscles tight as a bow string.

  Aziza? What? Another dog? I huddled just out of sight of the soldier, strangling the sheet around me.

  When Kostya shot me a look, there was almost as much emotion in his eyes as I’d seen during our rounds of passion. There was also a heightened level of anxiety, a darkness that couldn’t be read clearly.

  “It would seem, Dr. Shephard, that your wish is coming true. You’re about to become immersed in my world. I need your services.” His words weren’t a request. They were a command, and if I dared defy him, I’d feel his wrath.