Leaning forward, she kissed my lips softly, gently as if it would be the last time. Then she squeezed my hand. “You are a good man deep down inside. I’ve seen it. Never forget that.”

  The pain in my heart was almost too much to bear, but I had to shut down all emotions or I’d have no chance at finishing what I’d set out to do.

  That wasn’t acceptable.

  The kiss would be our last until my return. As she pulled away, heading for the administration desk, I brushed my fingers across my lips. I only hoped her scent would linger until I took my last breath.

  “Every man has his secret sorrows which the world knows not; and often times we call a man cold when he is only sad.”

  —Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

  Emily

  “I’ll be down the hall, fifteen feet away,” Kostya said as soon as we were just outside the room.

  “Nothing is going to happen. We’re in a medical facility. Stop worrying.” I glanced at the two burly men holding court just outside my mother’s door and in truth, I was grateful they were here. It gave me a small sense of peace.

  “Trust no one. Remember?” He tried to smile but I sensed he had much more on his mind than my mother’s illness.

  While I wanted more time with her, there wouldn’t be enough time in the world to ease the pain. I’d ask to see the doctor after my visit to hear about her prognosis myself.

  “I’m not going anywhere, Kostya. All I ask is that you give me all the time available. She’s all I have.”

  “She’s not all you have, mi hermosa flor. Wherever you are, I’ll be with you if you need me.”

  He was infuriating, his words pulling me into a web of passion and longing. As he rubbed his thumb across my cheek, I wanted to find the strength to push him away. Instead, I threw my arms around him, holding him close. I needed his warmth as well as his strength in order to face my mother. I’d promised myself that I wouldn’t cry, but the tears were already forming.

  When I pulled away, he stopped me again, rolling the same thumb under first one eye then the other. As he pulled his finger to his mouth, a small shudder trickled through me. He had a way of taking away a portion of the ache.

  He walked away, leaving me to collect myself for a few seconds before heading inside. I tapped on the door lightly, delighted to see she was awake.

  The look on her face was sheer joy, her eyes filling with tears at the same rate as mine. While I’d learned she’d been told that I was alive, she hadn’t been allowed to learn any additional details. If I knew my mother, she’d peppered the soldiers with questions.

  “Baby girl,” she cried out, her face more haggard than the last time I’d seen her. She’d lost additional weight, which mean her body was starting to feed on itself. If the prognosis was the same or worse than before I’d… left, soon her organs would start to shut down. At least from what I’d seen of the facility, it was topnotch. For that I was grateful.

  “I’m fine, Mama. I’m right here.” I dragged the single chair closer, taking her hand into mine as I sat down. She was ice cold even though she had several soft blankets covering her. There was a warm ray of sunshine streaming in through the open blinds, a vase of beautiful flowers positioned on her table.

  “What happened? They killed Eddie. Then you were gone. The police didn’t know anything. They wouldn’t tell me anything. Then this man came for me. I had no choice. I…”

  “Sssh… You know stress isn’t good for you. Try and breathe for me. Okay? It’s a very long story what happened.”

  “We have time. You’re here with me now.”

  I’d planned on what I was going to say to her, rehearsing it several times. Now, every word, every sentence was long gone from my memory. “Just know I’m safe and so are you. The men who took you were hired to make certain nothing happened to you.”

  “But who are they?”

  “I don’t have the time to go into details, but you can trust them.” I wasn’t certain how much conviction was in my voice.

  Her grip was firmer than I’d expected it would be. “What about you? You look gaunt.”

  “I’m just tired. A very nice man is protecting me.”

  “Against what?” When I didn’t answer right away, her eyes grew open wide. “This is all about your father. Isn’t it?”

  “Yes. Unfortunately, I can’t stay long, Mama, but I will be back.”

  “Why?”

  “There are some very bad men who are after me. I’m being taken to a safe place.”

  “Your protection has nothing to do with law enforcement. Does it?”

  I smiled, rubbing her forehead as I stared at the equipment in the room. She was in the middle of a chemo treatment. At least she hadn’t been moved to hospice status yet. That meant there was hope. “No, but you don’t have to worry.”

  “Who’s after you, baby girl? Does this have anything to do with the last undercover operation your father was on?” She remained angry with him, the look in her eyes full of the same fury that I’d seen in mine.

  “Yes, and because of something Daddy left for me. I wish I could explain all the details.”

  “I knew you’d come looking for his note and the box he left.”

  “A box? You have it?”

  She looked away, obviously uncertain she wanted to tell me its location.

  “Mama, I never wanted anything to do with his note or his past, but this is very important. Whatever he left is worth not only my life but significant power. I can’t allow it to get into the wrong hands. Can you understand that?”

  “Yes. I called him a horrible fool the last time I talked to him. I’d wanted to tell him how much I loved him.” It was the first time she’d expressed sorrow or regret. The pain in her eyes was gut-wrenching. “Do you remember the jewelry box your daddy gave you when you were little?”

  “The one with the ballerina on it? I remember. He was certain I’d become a famous dancer.”

  “He replaced it with a different one. The new one has a false bottom.”

  My throat tightened hearing the news.

  “Do you know what’s inside?” I asked gently.

  She shook her head. “No. I told him I didn’t want to know and that you’d have to come to me to know what he’d left you. Not the other goddamn way around.”

  “At the house?”

  “On your old dresser.”

  A small sense of relief rushed through me, enough so I pushed the subject aside. “Did Eddie put you up to asking me to return to New York?”

  When she lowered her eyes, I knew the answer. “He was insistent. He said your father had contacted him before his death. I was scared.”

  “You should have told me.”

  “Maybe. I just… I wasn’t doing well and thought maybe having you near would help. I didn’t mean to lie to you.”

  I thought about everything we’d both been through and sighed. “It’s okay. None of that matters now. I’m here. How are you feeling?”

  “I have good days and bad days, honey. I’m dying. It’s okay.” She squeezed my hand with enough strength I was able to take a deep breath. “You don’t have to be sad. Things always happen for a reason. That’s one thing your daddy told me after our first date. He said sometimes people meet at the wrong time for the right reasons.”

  She had no idea how truthful the statement could be. Maybe Kostya had been driven to my life to become my protector.

  Not my lover.

  “Maybe so. You loved him once.”

  “I still love him, sweetie. I hope one day you find the right man. One piece of advice. At first, he might not seem like the shiny penny, but often the most fabulous men are hidden under a gruff demeanor.”

  “You are a wealth of wisdom.”

  She laughed and as soon as she did, she started coughing. Then it got worse, the cough turning into wheezing. I jumped up, searching for a cup for water. There was nothing in the room. Instantly, my anger flared. I headed to the door, throwing it open, immediately drawing the attention of the two soldiers. “I hope you can speak English. I need a nurse and a cup for water.” When they didn’t respond, I hissed. “Now!”

  Both seemed startled but did as I asked. I rushed back to the room, pressing the button for the nurse. Now my mother was turning blue. “Mama, it’s going to be alright.” She shouldn’t have this kind of response, not unless her lungs had collapsed. I flew to the bag of chemicals, trying to find the label. There wasn’t one. There was no damn chart in the room, nothing to tell me what the hell she’d been given.

  Seconds later, the door was pushed in, a nurse rushing into the room, her look stern if not accusatory. “What happened?” she barked, immediately heading to my mother’s side. She didn’t check the vitals. She didn’t glance at the bag.

  The knot in my stomach grew. Don’t jump to conclusions. My inner voice was doing little to keep me from launching into a tirade.

  “She started coughing.” I remained where I was, trying to remain calm. As I looked down at Mama, I glanced into her eyes. I moved closer, placing my hand on my mother’s shoulder as the nurse started to inject her with something, likely a slight sedative to help her breath easier. “It’s okay, Mama. Just try and relax.’

  The moment I glanced into her eyes again, I immediately stiffened, throwing a look toward the intravenous bag for a fifth time. That’s the moment my instinct took over, screaming there was something very wrong about the entire situation. Without hesitation, I yanked on the line directly at the bag, able to disconnect it.

  “Get away from her.” After yelling at the woman, I reached across the bed, slamming my hands against her.

  The woman was a goddamn assassin sent to kill my mother.

  She reacted quickly, lunging at me with the syringe in the air. Whether or not the woman was an actual nurse, she’d managed to infiltrate the organization, providing poison instead of the chemotherapy concoction, slowly ending my mother’s life. That meant Kostya’s presence had been noticed. No. This couldn’t happen.

  I reared back, backhanding her with enough force she was pitched against the wall, the needle tossed aside. But she kept coming, hissing as she pulled a gun from her inside pocket. I lunged toward her again, swinging around and kicking her in the stomach. We continued fighting. She lost her footing but quickly regained momentum. Then she aimed her weapon toward my mother’s head.

  Everything moved into slow motion, all sounds muffled. Until two loud, echoing noises shattered my senses.

  Pop! Pop!

  I pitched myself over my mother, taking gasping breaths, the noise in the room only increasing.

  “What the fuck is going on?” an unknown male voice stated.

  “You fucked up. Where the hell were you?” Kostya hissed.

  I glanced as he took long strides toward the fallen nurse, crouching over. All I could see was blood trickling down the wall. “Mama.” I lifted my head, thanking God that she was still breathing.

  “It’s okay, baby. You’re safe.” He touched my arm, crowding closer. “It’s all over.”

  Over. It would never be over. Anger jetted through my system, my mind shifting into a giant blur.

  “We’re getting out of here,” he continued.

  A crowd of people were in the room, all gasping at the horrible sight, but all I could concentrate on was Kostya’s soothing voice.

  As he eased me back by a few inches, I was met with my mother’s wide eyes. At least she was breathing, very much alive.

  And I had my savage hero to thank for saving both our lives.

  Time.

  From what I’d been told, it wasn’t our friend any longer. The fear remained, wrapping around me so tightly I was close to suffocating. I’d been told several times both my mother and I were safe, but could I ever feel safe again?

  I could still see the blank eyes of the woman Kostya had been forced to shoot, the image forever burned into the back of my mind.

  I took a deep breath as I tried to remain grounded, staring at the house in front of me.

  My mother’s house.

  It was small, still extremely expensive, but the quaint cottage had been all she’d been able to afford after the divorce. I stood outside on the sidewalk, staring at the aqua front door, a color she’d insisted on. I’d teased her, reminding her that all her neighbors would complain given the neutral tones every other house had been painted. She’d stuck to her guns and in my opinion, it was the prettiest little house in the neighborhood.

  Now she’d never see it again.

  Swallowing hard, I remained shaken from the horrible experience in the hospital. The thought there was a criminal organization working together provided more questions than answers, although I could tell Kostya was resolute about determining the truth. Why did I have a feeling this had more to do with him than anything else? The nagging had been with me since he’d told me about his supposed true identity. Why would Volkov attempt to kill his long-lost son?

  Kostya seemed to sense my sadness, moving directly behind me.

  “I promise you that your mother will be in good hands and very protected.” Every command he’d issued after the attempted assassination had been gruff, his anger dragging his beast from the dark lair. He’d been furious with the Bratva’s inability to keep my mother protected, cursing at one over the phone then barking orders like a drill sergeant to his own men. Meanwhile, I’d crawled into bed with my mother after she’d been taken to another room, desperately clinging to her as her system was flushed of the poisons that had almost taken her life.

  Now I was here to collect a box that my father had died to protect and in truth, I wanted nothing to do with it. But I had no choice.

  Not if I wanted to live.

  I rubbed my hands on my jeans, trying to remain calm.

  “You’re certain the bastard won’t find another way to get to her?” The heat of his body was more oppressive than anything else, my nerves fried. I was being sent away, forced to live in a paradise that seemed more like a prison when my mother would be two or three thousand miles away.

  “I give you my word. You need to trust me, Emily. It’s vital you do.”

  I turned to face him, struggling with the complex emotions rushing through me. “I will place my trust in you. But I swear to God that if anything happens to her outside of the horrible disease, I will kill you myself.”

  His eyes opened wide, his mouth twisting in amusement. “I have no doubt you’ll try.”

  “No. I will succeed. You have no idea what I’m capable of.”

  When his smile widened, I wanted to slap then kiss him. He had a way of disarming me every time. “Let’s find the box. The house isn’t safe.”

  I nodded, dragging my mother’s keys from my pocket. As soon as I stepped onto the front porch, I knew something was wrong. While the door was still locked, knots immediately formed in my stomach, my sixth sense kicking in. The house had been broken into.

  When I pushed open the door, I gasped. The place had been tossed. “No. No!”

  Kostya immediately stepped around me, yanking out his weapon. “Stay right here. Do not move.” He threw a look at the two men just outside and instantly they reacted, moving behind me. There were at least four more positioned in other locations, my dark lover refusing to take any chances.

  I waited by the door as he went from room to room, my mind spiraling as I stared all the broken furniture, pictures smashed against the floor, glass figurines shattered. They were irreplaceable, beautiful creations she and my father had purchased together, a reminder of the love they’d once shared. I was heartbroken, my entire body trembling. How could anyone do this? Why? Why? I hadn’t realized I’d started to crumple to the floor until Kostya threw his arms around me, holding me tightly against his chest.

  “It’s going to be okay. No one is here. These are just things.”

  “Nothing is going to be okay, Kostya. You don’t understand memories, reminders of happy times. You couldn’t understand.” I pushed my fist against him, trying to break the connection but he refused to let me go. I sucked in my breath, reeling in my anger. He wasn’t to blame for this fucking mess. “I’m sorry. I’m fine.”

  “No, you’re not fine and I don’t expect you to be. However, we need to finish this. Do you think you can look through the mess and see if the box is still here?”

  After taking another deep breath, I nodded. “Yes. Maybe they missed it.” The nerves remained as I moved through the house, trying to ignore the carnage, the anger furrowing inside of me reaching a level I’d never experienced before. How dare the assholes destroy everything my mother had worked so hard to achieve. How dare they enter her house under any circumstances.

  While I’d never been a violent person, I knew without a shadow of a doubt that if I was allowed to spend time in a dark room with one of the violators, everything I’d ever been taught about forgiveness would be tossed out the window. I quickly moved to my old bedroom, hesitating before walking inside. It had been hard to believe my mother had decorated the room just like it had been in the old house, refusing to let go of age-old memories.

  Now I felt honored she’d thought so highly of my high school and college achievements, even posting my various accolades on the walls.

  I heard Kostya’s growl behind me, his rage more intense than mine. I slowly turned my head, noticing everything the fuckers had touched. They’d emptied every drawer, yanking items from the closet, crushing various contents.

  “What are we looking for?” he asked, his heavy breathing adding to the foreboding feeling remaining in the room.

  “A jewelry box with a ballerina on top.” When I said the words, they seemed foreign to me, no longer able to recognize my voice. As he started picking through the debris, I shifted my attention to the other side of the room, more repulsed with every box and drawer I turned over.

  Seconds passed. Minutes. I could tell Kostya was growing frustrated, every curse word he issued in a different language. I noticed something out of the corner of my eye and dropped to my knees, yanking clothes and pictures out of my way. Then I took a deep breath. There it was. The jewelry box, an item most assassins wouldn’t take a second glance at. Thank God my father had been cunning all the way to the end of his life.