To say I was flabbergasted was an understatement. “Um, that’s really sweet of you, but you don’t know who I am or my credentials. I didn’t bring a resume with me.” What was I doing?

  He shrugged. “If the stories about last night are even half true, then you’re right for the job. I also know good people when I see one. Maybe you could stop by in the next day or two.”

  Why was it everyone in the diner was hanging onto my words, waiting to hear what I would say? “Doctor Welby. I’m really just passing through. I don’t know what I want to do with the rest of my life. I just…”

  “Just think about it, Bella.” He touched my hand, his shaking. I could tell he’d wanted to retire for a long time. “You’d make an old man real happy.”

  “I’ll… think about it.” How had I gotten roped into this?

  “Good. Jagger. Do your best to rid yourself of that surly attitude and show the lady a good time. Take her to all the best places in town. I know you can afford it. Don’t be a cheap guy. We need her.” He grinned and winked at Poppy before returning to his barstool. I had a feeling he’d been a staple at that very one for years.

  Jagger grumbled once again. “I’ll do my dam… darnedest to keep her here.” I was surprised he caught himself before cursing.

  I didn’t really know small towns. I’d lived in one during foster care, but the only reason I’d been allowed outside the house was to go to school. When several of the customers started to clap, I shrank back. A couple of people even tried to take pictures. I was the one coming close to a panic attack. Without realizing what I was doing, I fled the diner, a wave of terror rushing into me.

  Immediately, I felt like an idiot, but I was perspiring, my heartrate much higher than normal. I hadn’t experienced such a rush of suffocation in a long time. I walked to the edge of the sidewalk, staring out at the traffic. I was right in front of the diner window and I sensed every face plastered or neck craned to gawk at the crazy person.

  I tensed the moment I noticed a shadow coming up behind me. My throat tightened immediately and I almost took off running.

  Stop. Don’t. You’re safe.

  But was I? I’d tried not to allow Joel’s text to bother me, but I was failing miserably.

  Jagger was damn good at coming up behind someone, likely without them noticing, but I wasn’t just anyone. And he wasn’t just another guy. Our connection was somehow profound, something I’d never thought I’d want again. But I couldn’t stand lying to him much longer. The burden was too significant, the ache I felt by doing so hitting me far too hard.

  He stood by my side, donning his dark shades and doing exactly what I was doing. Staring out at nothing. There was no tension this time between us. This was his way of giving me more than just space. He’d listened to me about needing peace.

  I couldn’t help myself, every few seconds looking over in his direction. He didn’t move a muscle, but his facial muscles twitched a couple of times. For a man who didn’t like to talk much, I sensed he had a whole lot to say at this point. His stubbornness was keeping him silent for now. The mischievous girl in me wanted to egg him on to see how long that lasted.

  Just him being here meant he cared at least about my wellbeing. At this point, it was all I could tolerate.

  “They think I’m nuts. Huh?” I asked, maybe a little more contritely than I’d planned.

  “A little.”

  “Great.”

  “But you fit the townsfolk. They’re all certifiable.”

  He still had a way of making me smile. “Well, good then.”

  “Poppy grew up here. She moved away for college and to get married, but eventually came back. She and her husband ran the bed and breakfast for a long time until his death, but she’s happiest running the local gossip column and the diner. And I don’t mean a newspaper,” he said, allowing himself to laugh slightly. “Lois and Jenny are harmless, both widowed and between the two of them and their friend Camilla, you can find out everything you ever wanted to learn and shit you didn’t about every person living in Danger Falls and half the tourist population.”

  “They seem nice.”

  “Yeah, a pain in the ass all the way around, but wouldn’t hurt a fly. The hardware store has been around since the very beginning of this town somewhere in the early nineteen hundreds. Doc Welby has been here almost as long, as you can tell. He’s a good doctor, although he certainly doesn’t have your skills. But there isn’t a local around here who won’t go to him for just about everything.”

  “Sort of like Doc Hollywood?”

  He finally stared at me with his dark and brooding look. I could see his eyebrows shooting up over his sunglasses.

  “Never mind. It’s an old movie.”

  “Oh. Betty Barker used to be a showgirl way back when. She has stories that keep the tourists enthralled. While Denise’s boss, the head of the park ranger service Greg Young has been here only a few years, he’s said that there’s no place he’d rather be.”

  “You don’t need to give me their resumes, Jagger. I really do like everything I’ve seen and the people are all very nice. I just… I’m in a tough spot and need to be careful with where I end up taking root. I want to ensure it’s what’s best for Cally.”

  “What about your medical career?”

  “I don’t know any longer. That’s the truth. It’s really weird. The joy of helping people is no longer there. I used to love the feeling of being able to end a surgery, telling the waiting families that their loved one was going to be just fine. But the surgeries were constant, the issues getting worse, and I felt like I was losing a battle I shouldn’t have been involved with in the first place. Maybe that sounds selfish.”

  “Not selfish. Self preserving. A shame though. You are good at what you do.”

  A quiet sigh escaped my lips. “That means a lot coming from you.”

  “Tell me something. Why did you run out a few minutes ago?”

  Finding a good answer was going to be difficult. “I don’t know. I felt as if claws were being wrapped around my neck. Not because of the job offer. Maybe because I’m not who people think I am. Like you, I’m no hero.”

  “You’re wrong,” he told me.

  “I’m never wrong.”

  He shook his head as if completely frustrated with me.

  “Maybe just the thought of living in a small town is too suffocating.”

  “Maybe. I never wanted to move here. For the first three months I felt like I’d been forced, removed from my life, but I came to realize the people are genuine. A pain in the ass sometimes, but they mean no harm. The vast majority know I like to keep to myself.”

  “You must be a great celebrity.”

  With that he folded his arms. “Fresh blood. Someone new to talk about.”

  “Whatever you say.”

  “Mostly they’re good with allowing my privacy. They’d be that way for you too. I don’t know what you’re looking for, Bella, but I don’t need to scrutinize your past to know you’re running from something. I’m an expert at it. I kept myself away from people on purpose and I was perfectly happy. But it was all a lie. I’m never going to sit at that diner and chitchat, but at least I can appreciate that these people welcomed me into their lives and if I was ever in need, they’d welcome me into their homes.”

  “That’s wonderful. I have trouble trusting and that comes from years of practice.”

  “I got it. I ain’t pushing nor will I ever. But I need to ask you one more question and I want an honest answer.” He turned to face me.

  “I’ll try.” When I didn’t shift around immediately, he forced me to gently, even removing his sunglasses. Dear God, there was such a serious look on his face. “What is it?”

  “I need to know who the hell you are. There’s no Bella Winters listed as a doctor anywhere in the world. You have a goddamn professional crossbow in a duffle bag you try and keep hidden from me. You received a threat on that text and don’t you dare tell me otherwise. You’re not Bella Winters since she doesn’t exist. So why are you lying to me and to the good people of this town?”

  CHAPTER 19

  Jagger

  I’d put my foot into my mouth plenty of times in my life until I’d mostly stopped talking altogether.

  With Bella, I’d betrayed the limited trust she’d placed in me, which hadn’t been my intent, but her stonewalling had broken through some barrier. I couldn’t understand completely my level of determination to break through her barriers, yet I felt more compelled to do so than I had with almost anything in my life.

  She hadn’t uttered a single word after returning to the diner to have lunch. After I’d questioned her real identity, she’d remained unblinking for thirty seconds before turning around and returning inside. She’d found an empty booth before I’d gotten back inside.

  While she had chitchatted with Poppy, Lois, and a few of the others, she’d purposely not bothered to address me at all. Fortunately, Cally hadn’t noticed since she’d been enjoying her new puppy as a little girl should.

  Poppy had noticed, I could tell, but for once she kept her mouth shut.

  I’d struck the kind of nerve I wasn’t certain could be fixed.

  Even when we’d gone back to the cabin to grab the groceries and pack up her things, she’d acted as if I wasn’t in the room.

  At least she hadn’t driven in the opposite direction, returning to my house at the same time. Little did she know if she’d chosen to do that, I would have hunted her down.

  We were safely tucked away in my cabin, Bella standing out on the deck in the snow with only a single outside light on with a glass of wine in her hand. She’d been there for almost a half hour. For all the quiet times I preferred, I’d grown used to our conversations and her lilting voice. I couldn’t stand not hearing her laughter.

  With Cally safely in bed with Xena, logs just added to the fire, and the kitchen cleaned up after dinner, I could either go to bed and leave things this way, or act like a goddamn man for a change. Apologizing wasn’t in my nature, but I knew no other way of trying to get her to open up once again.

  If that was even possible.

  I grabbed my jacket and glass of bourbon, heading outside. She’d turned on the outdoor heater that had come with the house, even brushing the snow off one of the chairs so she could sit down. I moved to the other end of the expansive deck where the hot tub was located. It was the one thing I’d enjoyed about being forced to move here.

  A goddamn hot tub to soothe my aching muscles.

  It also was therapeutic enough to yank the anger from me for a limited time.

  My parents had spared no expense when purchasing the various cabins, adding to the resort’s footprint. I couldn’t say I’d spent much time here, but I knew other people would love being backed up to the mountains, a lake only fifty yards away.

  Tonight, I had a different feeling about being here than I had the entire time since moving to Danger Falls. It felt almost right. How strange was that?

  “Why did you move here? I know you mentioned your parents and what’s going on with your dad, but your two brothers seem quite capable of handling the resort between the two of them.” she asked. She’d returned to having no emotion in her voice whatsoever.

  “Because it was the right thing to do for my family.”

  “But you’re not close, especially with your brothers.”

  “Not really. We all went our separate ways.”

  “Each into the military.”

  “Yes,” I told her. “We’d been preparing for it our entire lives, our father basically insisting. We weren’t given a choice like normal kids. He was an ex-Marine and told us at an early age college could wait until we’d done our time.”

  “A hard man.”

  “You really have no idea. But he taught us to respect our country. I’ll give him that. Just too bad it didn’t last.”

  “Because of everything you were forced to do and what you witnessed.”

  “Yep.” I took a gulp of my drink.

  She shifted in her seat, but said nothing for a couple of minutes. “That’s very sad. Let me guess. You couldn’t leave the job in the Army you had, at least not in your mind. You found one similar to follow that one, but the tasks became more dangerous, more volatile until you couldn’t take it any longer. Now the nightmares are tearing you apart.”

  Why lie to her? “You’re psychoanalyzing me again. Yeah, something like that.” In order for her to trust me enough to tell me the truth about herself, she needed something from me. I wanted to tell her to be careful what she was asking for, but what was the point? “I was hired by another military organization to handle covert operations throughout the world. They made it appear seamless. Instead, the missions were complicated as fuck.”

  “Top secret?”

  She was asking the questions in a matter-of-fact way, acting as if my choices were normal. “Yes.”

  “Cleaning up their messes no doubt.”

  I hadn’t really looked at it that way, but she was right. “In a manner of speaking.”

  “How bad are the nightmares?”

  “How did you know?”

  “Because you flailed last night, mumbling in your sleep. I stayed awake to make certain you were okay. Did you know that?”

  Fuck. My throat almost closed up.

  I shifted around, leaning against the railing. She was sitting in the dark, but I could almost read her mind. “No, I didn’t. I’m sorry. I hope to God I didn’t hurt you.”

  “Of course not. I was terrified you were going to hurt yourself.”

  “Why would you think that?”

  Her sigh was deep and long. “Because the one decent foster family I was in, the husband had been in the military. He came back a different man. His nightmares were controlled at first. But they manifested themselves into violence. Finally, after a horrible incident where he nearly destroyed the house, he killed himself. As you might imagine, I was shipped out of there very quickly.”

  “Jesus. You’ve been through hell and back.”

  “What I’ve been through is nothing in comparison to what I imagine you have. Yes, I had difficult and very lonely times, but I was lucky in that none of the homes took away my spirit. All ten of them.”

  Holy shit. “The nightmares are bad at times, but not always.”

  “All because you couldn’t save someone.”

  “And because I’m a bad man.”

  “Meaning what, Jagger? What makes you such a terrible man that you refuse to allow anyone in your life? The life you led was honorable.”

  “You’re wrong, city girl. It was anything but. In my mind, what I was doing was nothing but being given a license to murder people.” She might as well know who she was sleeping with.

  “Then you condemn every soldier in every military organization.”

  “Not at all,” I told her.

  “You can’t have it both ways, Jagger. I have a strong sense that the organization you worked for after your military career ended didn’t necessarily follow all the rules. But you did. Their rules.”

  It was like telling me if I was a mafia hitman told to take out an entire restaurant then I got a pass. “More complicated than that.”

  “So is just about everyone’s life. I know your surly moods aren’t just about hating people or feeling sorry for yourself. You’re terrified you’re going to hurt them. So what makes you such a terrible man?”

  A strangled sound erupted from my throat. “Because I’ve killed enough people to fill up this house. Don’t you get it?”

  I wasn’t certain if I expected her to run or to laugh. When she stood, I accepted that learning the truth was too much for her to take. But she surprised me as she’d done so many times, moving to the railing only inches away. “Did you enjoy the kills?”

  “No.”

  “Did you kill women?”

  “Hell, no. Women are meant to be cherished. I would have refused a direct order and left the organization had they asked.”

  She seemed relieved at my answer. That put up additional red flags. The bastard had hurt her more than once.

  “Do you want to kill again?”

  “Only if I felt it was honorable, and I’m no longer certain that’s possible. Maybe now you get what I was trying to tell you.”

  “You came to Danger Falls because your father is dying. You didn’t really have to. You were off touring the world, I would imagine in your endeavor to keep democracy intact. But you did. Don’t kid yourself that you’re doing someone a favor other than yourself. And you’re not a bad man, Jagger. You’re one of the best men I’ve ever met in my life.”

  Her words sent a chill down my spine. “Then you don’t know me.”

  “Not as much as I’d like to.” She tilted her head. “Not nearly as much.”

  “You might not like what you find.”

  “What if I already do?”

  We had a way of communicating even when silence seemed to be the main objective. She was struggling with telling me anything, but I sensed her need. The same damn need I had. Two strangers had found each other, coming together during a period in both our lives that anyone might run from. Only she was about the strongest woman I’d ever met. I’d been able to see that within her more every day.

  “The crossbow was something a foster father showed me how to use. It was the single Christmas gift I ever received until later in life when I had friends. I wasn’t around long enough in any single home to enjoy holiday celebrations. He made certain I respected it as a weapon, providing invaluable lessons. I was even on a crossbow team in high school. I kept it throughout college and when I went to medical school, maybe for sentimental reasons, but I do know how to use it and I won’t hesitate to do so if I need to.”

  “To keep your daughter safe.”

  “To keep anyone I care about safe, which only accounts for two people.”

  “Including her father,” I said.

  “Hell, no. He’s dead to me and has been since he refused to acknowledge he was the biological father. I mean my daughter and you.”

  The closeness we shared was still strained yet I craved touching her. As I cupped her face, the warmth I felt in my hand tingled my fingers. “That means a lot to me, but as you might imagine, I can take pretty good care of myself.”