He kissed her lips softly. "Carlene is right. At any given time in a relationship, one person can require more time, or space, or energy than another. Then it can flip-flop to the other partner at some point. A strong relationship will survive that. A weak one won't. And when you add cheating to the mix, there needs to be powerful love to withstand that. You and I didn't have that with our past partnerships. You and I are so much stronger than that."

  Maddyn's hand rested over her belly. "That sounds like you're saying we will withstand that. As in, if it happens."

  "I didn't say that at all. Nor will I ever, ever cheat on you. I promise you with everything I am and everything I will ever be."

  She took a shaky breath and nodded. "Okay."

  She stared at his chest. Looking into his eyes would surely make her burst into tears.

  His fingers reached under her chin and pulled her face up to his. "Look into my eyes, Mads. Do you see how much I love you?"

  "Yes."

  "Love is more than the physical. Do you believe that?"

  She believed that. "Yes."

  "I think we get it mixed up sometimes. I've been thinking about your comments about my going off with a groupie or two. You thought I loved them, and that's why I slept with them."

  She swallowed the dry lump in her throat.

  Axel continued. "I closed my eyes and thought of you. I couldn't have you. But I have loved you with my whole heart for so long, I can't remember a time when I didn't. It doesn't make it right. It was a human reaction to a shitty situation. Nothing more."

  She stared into his eyes for a long time. He didn't look away from her. "I believe that." She nodded and took a deep breath, and let it out slowly. She believed he didn't love those women. "I have loved you for so long, and I guess..." She shook her head. "I'll say this. Steve cheated on me. It made me feel worthless. It hurt my feelings that he'd so casually betrayed me. Does that make sense?"

  "Of course it does. I understand it perfectly."

  She nodded again. Of course he would. "Right. So, on the heels of that, my heart ached for you. Then I'd see you leave an after-party with a woman, and it was like being cheated on all over again."

  Axel clenched his right fist and held it up to his heart. He sniffed, and she saw him swallow. Then, a single tear slid down his cheek. "I never cheated on you, Mads."

  "I know you didn't. Not really. But my mind..." She was lost. She didn't know what to say now. How did this conversation turn into this?

  She brushed his tear away with her thumb. Staring into his eyes, she said, "I love you, Axel Peters. More than I ever believed I'd be able to love another human."

  He nodded. "Is this what has been holding you back from moving in with me?"

  She shrugged. "I'm not sure."

  He nodded and pulled her close. She wrapped her arms around his waist and lay her head against his chest. His heartbeat was strong and sure, and she closed her eyes to listen to its rhythm.

  His arms wrapped her tightly in his embrace. She'd never felt more protected and loved than she did in his arms. Shouldn't that be a sign, too?

  She heard her mother's voice. "You’d better grow up, girl, or you'll find yourself alone."

  She squeezed her eyes tighter together and held Axel closer.

  "Hey, you two? Got a minute?"

  She pulled away from Axel and turned to see Tony and Mitch approaching.

  Axel responded. "Sure."

  She heard him inhale deeply and knew he was keeping his feelings in check right now. They needed to go home and have a proper conversation. And maybe she needed to see a counselor about transferring her fears onto Axel's life prior to her. He had every damned right to seek comfort with other women. How many times had she wished she were brave enough to do the same? For her, there were so many times she needed to be hugged. She needed someone to hold her tightly and tell her she was valued. It's why she sought the Dumbass Dougs of the world.

  Her eyes watered, so she looked at the floor and blinked rapidly to get herself calmed.

  Tony said, "Mitch has news for you about Lacey."

  She swallowed the lump in her throat and looked up at Mitch. His eyes locked on hers for a moment. He shifted his stance and looked at Axel. "I just got word from Blossom Springs PD. They are looking for Lacey in connection with the car accident yesterday. Hit-and-run is what they mentioned. Other charges can follow as soon as they assess the situation fully."

  Axel nodded. "That's good. And your people will watch for her as well?"

  "Absolutely. We're also paying closer attention to your street, your house, and a one-mile perimeter around your neighborhood. If we see her car, we will find her. We've also alerted area garages that we're looking for her car."

  "Thanks, Mitch."

  "You're welcome. Any questions?"

  She lifted her head because nobody had said anything. Both men were staring at her. She took a deep breath. "No. Thank you."

  Mitch nodded, but his brows pinched together. She felt bad because he probably thought she was ungrateful for all he was doing. There she was again, making someone else feel bad.

  She swallowed to keep her emotions from running wild.

  Mitch turned to speak with Jami, and she moved behind the bar to get a bottle of water. Axel started toward her, and she tensed up. She couldn't have the conversation they needed to have here.

  Jami called out. "Axel, do you have a minute?"

  He stopped and turned. "Sure."

  He walked away from her and toward Jami without a backward glance in her direction. She opened her bottle of water and took a long drink. Livia sauntered toward her, a soft smile on her face.

  "Hey, are you alright? I heard what's been happening. It has got to be a lot to deal with."

  Licking her lips, she set her bottle of water on the bar and turned to get Livia one. She handed it across the bar and felt tears fall from her eyes. "Oh, Livia. My mind is so messed up, and I don't know what to do."

  "Wanna talk it out?"

  Chapter Thirty-One

  Axel finished showing Zeke how to pack up his drums in their cases and stack them in the trailer. Zeke was young and excited about the job. He appeared to learn quickly and moved with care and ease. He was perfect.

  Livia and Maddyn were talking at the bar. His heart was so heavy right now. He felt like he and Maddyn were on the precipice of something that would either make or break them. She seemed fragile, so he decided he'd not pester her further about moving in. Clearly, she was in a place in her mind where she needed the space. His excitement at finally being with her made him overlook her feelings. Shame on him. Wasn't that what being in a relationship was about? Thinking about the other person's feelings and making them feel safe and secure in life? Of course, it was. Only a week into their relationship as a couple, and he'd forgotten that rule.

  Deciding to let them talk for however long they needed to, he stepped outside where the guys were chatting about nothing in particular. It was a beautiful day, and they had a lot to look forward to. Tonight was a big night for them.

  Jami looked his way when he stepped outside and nodded. He nodded in return and stood among his friends to shoot the shit and get to know Zeke. Carlene was nowhere to be found, and all band members were here, so she must have left.

  Tony looked inside the trailer one last time and nodded his approval. "Okay, Zeke. It looks great. We'll be heading to Tampa individually. You need to get there early, so I'll follow you to help you get everything set up ahead of time. Let's be there by three. The rest of the group will begin showing up by four. They can look everything over and make any adjustments necessary."

  Zeke nodded. His smile was contagious, and his excitement crept into everyone. He needed that right now. This week turned his life and Maddyn's upside down. His emotions were far from level.

  Jami turned to him and quietly said, "Everything okay?"

  "Yeah. We'll be fine, Jami. Maddyn is shaken. Lacey has been a giant pain in the ass just when we began our relationship as a couple. It's just too much. But we're going to go home now and take a nap. Rest will help both of us settle in. Mitch is on high alert. Everyone knows about us, so we aren't keeping secrets. Once Lacey is out of the way, we'll be golden."

  Jami patted his back. "That sounds great. Go get some rest. I'll see you both at four."

  "You've got it."

  He moved toward the barn door and stepped inside. Tony was talking to Livia and Mads, so he moved toward them.

  Maddyn's eyes stared into his. She watched him move toward them slowly.

  Tony turned and smiled at him. "Hey, there. Come and join us."

  He crept toward the bar and sat on a stool. Maddyn asked, "Do you want something to drink?"

  "No. I'm ready to head home and take a nap."

  She nodded. "Me too."

  Tony's hand rested on Livia's shoulder. "We're going to do the same. Big night tonight." He pulled two lanyards with cards at the end from his back pocket. "Here are your credentials to get in the back door of the stadium."

  "Thanks, Tony." He stared at his name under Hart & The Hurricanes for a few moments. His stomach flipped as excitement ran through his body.

  Livia stood, and Maddyn tossed her empty water bottle in the recycle bin. She rounded the end of the bar and stopped in front of him. He nodded and stood, and together they walked toward the door. He reached down and took her hand. She squeezed his. It lightened the load on his heart.

  The drive home was quiet as he was unsure what to say. As they pulled into the garage, he got out as soon as the door was closed and hurried around to open her door. He held his hand out to help her out of the SUV. His stomach fluttered when she took his hand in hers.

  After they entered the house, she stopped in the kitchen and stared at him. "Should we take a bit of time and talk before we take our nap?"

  "I think we'll both rest better if we do."

  She nodded and sauntered into the living room. She sat on the sofa, her spine stiff, her jaw tight. His stomach twisted, and dread shadowed him. She seemed very serious.

  He sat next to her, but he waited for her to gather her thoughts.

  She finally turned toward him. "I apologize, Axel. You didn't deserve my accusation that you'd cheated on me. I'm very sorry I said that."

  His heartbeat sped up. He took a deep breath. "I appreciate the apology. I know, or at least I think I know, where it came from."

  She nodded. "I had a friendly chat with Livia. I explained my comments to you and how my head is a bit of a mess right now. For twenty years, we told ourselves we couldn't be together. We've only just started seeing each other without restrictions, and now Lacey says we can't be together. It feels like a sign, and yet, there are so many other signs that we are supposed to be together. I'm scared, Axel. I don't want to screw this up. I've felt like a failure since my divorce from Steve. I don't want to fail you."

  Tears fell from her eyes. He reached over to the end table and pulled a tissue from a box. He dabbed her cheeks, then handed her the tissue.

  After she composed herself, he turned to face her. He took both of her hands in his and looked deeply into her eyes. "Listen to me, Mads. You're putting a ton of pressure on yourself to be perfect here. Don't you hear me when I speak to you? You are perfect. You're perfect for me. I don't want a perfect Maddyn; I want the Maddyn who is already perfect for me. You. Just the way you are. Don't doubt yourself and stop putting so much on yourself to be a certain way or act a certain way or feel a certain way. You are the perfect wife."

  Her eyes stared into his. "What does being a perfect wife mean?"

  He chuckled. "It's different for everyone. For me, it's the commonality we have with our work. Understanding what it's like being in a band, and on the road, and what it means when that feeling falls heavily over you to get the words that continue to knock at your brain, down on paper. To know it isn't a personal slight if I need to walk into the office for an hour to write lyrics in a notebook. It's understanding who I am, Axel Peters, a man with a passion for music, a steady home life, and friends. I'm a creative with a need to be with you, my soulmate. To wake with you each morning and share a cup of coffee together, and talk or not talk. That's what it means to me."

  Her smile. It was stunning, and his heartbeat increased. Her smile was sad and soft and didn't quite reach her eyes, but it was there. "I didn't know you felt that way."

  He chuckled. "Baby, what have I been telling you?"

  "That you love me. But I didn't know you thought all the rest."

  He kissed her forehead. "What do you think the perfect husband is?"

  She inhaled deeply and stared into his eyes. "I think he's someone who knows how I like my coffee. His beautiful songs are about us, his feelings, and our relationship. Writing the words to a song is something he understands. When I need quiet, he doesn't take it personally. Other women won't cause him to betray me. He loves me, and only me. He enjoys quiet times as much as fun times, and when we play our music together, our hearts are in perfect chorus. Mostly, he gives me something to believe in."

  He nodded. She'd just described him. He kissed her lips softly. "Let's get some rest, Baby."

  He'd just let her ponder her words for a while. She was coming around.

  Chapter Thirty-Two

  Maddyn dressed for their gig. She'd chosen black jeans and a black lace tank top. She paired it with gold necklaces and a gold bangle bracelet. Short black boots completed her outfit. She made her eyes look smoky, and she'd teased her hair slightly, giving her a badass look without looking trashy. It also kept her hair from flattening out when her body perspired during a set.

  Axel stepped into the bedroom and whistled. "Mama, you are sexy!"

  Laughing, she turned to stare at him. He also wore black jeans and a black t-shirt. Said t-shirt stretched perfectly across his shoulders and enhanced his physique. "You are sexy yourself. I'm a lucky woman."

  He chuckled and pulled her into his arms. "I'm the lucky one."

  He kissed her lips and stepped away. "Are you ready? It's about an hour to Tampa, and we should get going."

  "Yes, I'm ready. I'm bringing my notebook, though. I have words running through my head, and they won't leave me alone, so I'm going to write in the car. Is that okay?"

  His brows rose, and he grinned. "Of course it is."

  She laughed at her question. Hadn't they just discussed this? They were golden on that front. The nap was absolutely necessary. She felt so much better now than she had earlier. Her head was clearer and her mood was lighter than it had been in a long time.

  She moved to the office and picked up her notebook from the table. Tucking it into her backpack, she hefted it over one shoulder. She had her makeup, deodorant, an extra tank top, and hairspray in her backpack. During the break, sometimes she needed to freshen up. She worked hard when they performed. She danced and moved constantly, and she exerted a lot of energy singing her heart out. And that's what she did for every performance. It wasn't about people watching them. It was about feeling the music so deep in her soul that when she sang, the audience felt it.

  They loaded up the SUV and began their drive. The words came fast and clear, and so incredible she teared up a few times. Axel drove quietly and let her write. She smiled as she realized that and reminded herself she'd do the same for him if he needed the writing time and they had someplace to be.

  She felt the SUV turn and slow, and when she looked up, Axel was pulling into the back of the arena where they'd perform. Her stomach fluttered as a fit of nerves flew through her body. The size of the stadium was incredible, and looking at it from this vantage point made her hands shake. She stared at the top of the stadium, her mouth open, and her breathing came in brief spurts.

  Axel chuckled. "This is fucking awesome."

  She turned to stare at him. "Easy for you to say."

  "It is easy. This is what we've been working our asses off for."

  She turned to stare once more at the enormous stadium. "Yeah."

  He parked, and they got out of the SUV and walked to the back entrance. A man in uniform stood outside the door and asked to see their IDs. Axel had a huge grin on his face as he pulled his ID card up to show the man.

  She pulled hers up, too, and the man opened the door. "Head to the right inside the door. Follow the hall to the lounge. Break a leg."

  She chuckled. Did they still say that?

  Axel took her hand as they followed the hallway. She could hear Jami's voice as they neared the lounge area. When they stepped inside, Jami turned. The smile on his face was incredible. He was a happy man right now.

  Tony and Livia were already there. Livia ran up to her and hugged her tightly. "Are you okay?"

  "I am. Thank you for chatting with me today."

  "Oh, Mads. I'm here for you anytime. Us girls have to stick together."

  She smiled and hugged Livia tightly. They parted as Tony said, "We have water, throat lozenges, honey, and snacks over here." He pointed to a table. "If you need to freshen up, there are two bathrooms in here, both at the end of the room." He pointed toward the bathrooms. "And in about five minutes, we'll go backstage and check our equipment and the setup. Zeke did a great job setting everything up. Once that's finished, we'll meet Shona and the Rebels. We're just waiting for Sean."

  Livia was just as nervous as she was. They joked about it to make it seem less nerve-wracking. Getting herself ready included her taking deep breaths. The ibuprofen she'd taken just before they left the house seemed to be doing its job. That made her less nervous. She didn't need to make any mistakes tonight.

  Sean entered the room, and the excitement level increased.

  Jami nodded, "Let's go meet our partners in crime for this show."

  Tony led the way farther down the long hallway to another lounge area. He knocked, and a man opened the door a crack. "May I help you?"

  Jami grinned. "Yes. I'm Jami Hart with Hart & The Hurricanes. We're here to meet Shona and the Rebels."

  The man nodded and opened the door wider to allow them inside. Her stomach rolled slightly; she was about to meet her peers. Peers who had more success than they did currently. But their star was rising.