With that last thought, she felt queasy but wasn't sure what to do. She certainly couldn't step outside to get fresh air. Seeing what they were doing would likely make her vomit for sure. She excused herself to go to the restroom. Her legs were shaky as she walked to the right of the bar, where the bathroom was. Locking the door behind her, she leaned her back against the door, grateful it felt cool. Taking deep breaths, she let them out slowly, then tears spilled from her eyes. She wouldn't be able to do this. Which wasn't fair at all. She'd just broken up with Doug. Though he was an asshole, she had had a boyfriend, and Axel was always cordial whenever Doug was around. Until yesterday. And over the years, Axel had had girlfriends. Though she could always tell he wasn't serious about any of them. She and Axel had always had a great friendship. The rule had always meant they kept their private lives separate, and that was that. Why were things different now?

  It was the passion he'd shown yesterday that let her believe he felt differently about her than anyone else in the band. It had been only recently since they began writing and recording songs together that the creative fuel had turned the romantic feelings on. She'd been seeing him clearly now. Not the drummer. The man. When he was drumming, she fantasized about his arms wrapping around her. The muscles bunched and moved with every beat of his drum. The fine sheen of sweat that defined those muscles incredibly under the lights made her body respond in ways it never had before. She'd feel vibrations and sensations between her legs with every hit on the drum. She went home every night, so worked up and horny she couldn't stand it. But Doug was there, not Axel, and as soon as she saw him, her libido took a nosedive. Doug noticed it too. It was then that he began hitting her.

  Was there a counselor she could see about this? A book, How Not to Fall in Love with Your Co-worker? Therapy? Short of quitting the band, what could she do?

  She heard the barn door open and close and heard her bandmates chattering. Stepping to the mirror, she cleaned up her face. Blowing out a breath, she opened the door and strolled back to her barstool.

  Gloria was watching her as she neared. Maddyn looked away to find Axel back behind the bar, talking quietly to Tony and Jami.

  Sean stepped over to Gloria. "I'm ready to go home, baby."

  "Me too." Gloria nodded.

  The twosome stepped out of the bar and waved before leaving. Maddyn took a deep breath and sat on her barstool next to Livia.

  "You, okay?" Livia asked.

  "Yeah. Why?"

  "It looks like you were crying."

  She shook her head. "Doug's just being Doug again. I'm okay."

  "You broke up with him, didn't you?"

  "Yes. He's not taking it well, though."

  Livia nodded and took a drink, and Maddyn worked hard not to look at Axel. The fact was, Doug hadn't so much as tried to reach out to her, and she was grateful for that.

  Tony left his conversation with Jami and Axel and moved toward Livia. "Ready?"

  Livia chuckled. "Yeah. See you tomorrow, Mads."

  "You bet. Have a great rest of your night."

  Jami followed closely behind them. "I'm done for the night. See you two tomorrow."

  "Bye, Jami," she blurted, then stood to leave, too.

  Axel straightened. "You want another one, Mads?"

  "Oh, I'm not sure I should. I have to drive."

  "How about a water then?"

  She looked into his eyes, those soulful brown eyes, and her head nodded.

  She watched him pull a bottle of water from the cooler and meander with it around the bar. He set the water in front of her. Slowly, he turned her stool to face him. He smelled good. Hints of his aftershave combined with the sweat from playing hard earlier. They all worked up a sweat when they performed. It was heady. Her nipples pebbled as he stepped between her legs.

  His fingers brushed across her cheek. Sliding into her hair at her nape. They were firm but touched her so softly. She felt a rush zing through her body, landing between her legs. She wet her lips with her tongue, and his nostrils flared. He pulled her to him, gently but firmly, until their lips touched.

  Her fingers shook as she wrapped them around his waist. He used his other hand to slide up her leg to her back and pulled her forward, pressing her body tightly to his.

  His lips played on hers. Softly, then so demanding. Moving and pressing tightly. His tongue slid between her lips, and hers mimicked his. They danced together, tasting and touching everywhere. His hands found her breasts and squeezed them. His fingers slipped under her bra and found her nipples. They were so hard and firm that when he touched them, she groaned.

  Quickly, his hands slid to her ass and pulled her tightly to him. He easily picked her up from her stool and strolled with her to the room at the back of the barn she'd never been inside. There had been snickers about Sean and Gloria having sex in that room, but she had never been inside it. Her mind ticked off the steps; her body was heated and ready. She was wet, so he'd slip inside of her easily, and at the thought, she grew wetter yet.

  Axel stepped into the room and kicked the door closed. He stopped long enough to lock it with one hand, then moved them to the bed, where he gently laid her down. He whipped his shirt off, and she did the same with her tank top. The little pink lace bra she wore made him stop and stare. "Fuck me," he whispered.

  He unbuttoned his jeans and let them fall to the floor. His briefs followed closely behind. She stared at his body. He had a toned, broad, and sexy body. She'd dreamed of him for so long.

  He lay on the bed, half on top of her, half off. His hands smoothed over her skin, his lips sucked in her nipples, his tongue flicked over them again and again. She squirmed under him, her hands roaming over his body, feeling the dips and valleys between the muscles as they moved. The excitement rolling through her was intoxicating.

  He kissed up her chest, to her neck, then to her ear. His tongue licked the shell of her ear, then his lips, ever so softly, said, "I have been dreaming of you for so long."

  She unfastened her jeans as his lips found hers. He helped her pull her jeans down, then his fingers found her clit and circled it firmly. She moaned as he moved, then his fingers slid inside her. Her hips lifted in response, and Axel groaned. She felt his chest push against her, but she also felt their connected lips.

  He reached down as he continued to kiss her, then he pulled away briefly to put a package between his teeth and tear. Pulling it away, his lips found hers again as he rolled the condom onto his cock. He groaned again as she reached down to help. She was eager to have him inside her as she pumped. She moved his cock toward her entrance. His lips left hers as he looked into her eyes. His were dark and sexy, and she could see his soul in them. He wanted her. His short hair allowed her to see his face.

  "Mads," he whispered as he pushed himself into her body.

  Her eyes closed as he entered her, but he stopped her. "Watch me, Mads."

  She stared once again into his eyes. He moved slowly at first. Her hips met his with every thrust. They were even and steady and smooth. Her hands played across his back, her legs wrapped around his ass, so toned and tight and sexy.

  He began moving faster, and she felt her body heating. He rotated his hips against her, and she gasped. "Axel."

  He rotated again, then pushed further into her. His speed increased, and she panted. Her orgasm raced forward, her fingers tightened and curled into his back, his cock pushed into her faster and faster, and she cried out as it rolled through her. Her body was sensitive as he pushed into her again, but his eyes never looked away. With a tightened face and furrowed brows, he said, "Incredible." Groaning, his body pulsed as his orgasm flowed from him.

  Dropping to his elbows, he kissed her cheeks, nose, and lips. Then he rested his cheek against hers as his breathing slowed.

  She let her hands brush over his back, the ridges not as pronounced as they had been during exertion. His skin was damp, his breathing slowed, and regretfully, he pulled out of her and lay at her side.

  Chapter Nine

  Fucking incredible. His mind went blank for a while as his body functions returned. The first thing he noticed was the heat in the room. Mads lay next to him, her breathing returning to normal, and his arms wrapped her tightly to him and pulled her as close as he could. They lay quietly together, both of them lost in thought.

  "Axel?"

  "Not yet."

  He didn't want to have the "mistake" discussion. Nothing that good could be a mistake. Nothing. It wasn't. Not even close.

  He let his fingers slide to her chest, molding her beautiful breasts into his hands. They were firm and pliable. Her skin was so soft, like satin.

  "Axel?"

  He let out a breath and swallowed. "I'm not sorry. And I want to be with you. Again and again."

  "We can't."

  "We'll keep it a secret."

  "Secrets can tear people apart."

  "Not us. Not yet, Mads. Let's have this for now."

  She rolled onto her side. Resting her head in her hand, she stared down at him with gorgeous green eyes. Her lips, still swollen from his kisses, parted in a beautiful but sad smile. "Okay."

  He stared at her, his eyes taking in her beauty. That dark, wavy hair framed her light green eyes so perfectly. He reached up and felt her hair between his fingers. The softness reminded him of his favorite blanket growing up. He slept under that blanket until he was sixteen. He loved the way it felt against his face as he drifted off to sleep. Finally, he gave it up because his dad called him a sissy and told him grown men didn't sleep with their blankie. He remembered his mom telling him he could keep it, just hide it, but Axel shook his head. "It's okay, Mom."

  He swallowed the memory as he stared at the beautiful woman in front of him. "I'm not sorry, Mads."

  "I'm not either."

  She leaned down and kissed his lips softly, then she lay down. He tucked her into his side and held her tightly. Fear that she'd get up and leave tore through his chest. Her arm stretched across his stomach. He kissed her forehead softly and heard her sigh. His heart swelled even as his mind worried about what would happen if the band found out.

  He drifted off to sleep until he felt Mads moving off the bed. "Where are you going?"

  She smiled. "I have to go home. I don't want Jami to come out here and find us."

  He inhaled deeply and sat up. "Right."

  They began dressing. Neither of them said anything. Lost in thought, worry, and, for his part anyway, happiness. He wanted to march right up to Jami's house and tell him, We're together. Deal with it. But what would happen next?

  Mads pulled on her top, covering up her sexy body. He stepped up to her and pulled her close. Her arms immediately wrapped around his waist as he folded his arms around her shoulders. His heartbeat increased. She chuckled. "I can hear your heartbeat. It sounds like you're beating out a drum solo."

  He chuckled. "Always when you're near."

  Her arms tightened.

  He pulled back reluctantly and kissed her lips. "I can't do that out there."

  "I know."

  She sounded sad; his gut twisted. "We'll be okay, Mads."

  "Promise?"

  "Yes. No matter what." That would be his assurance.

  He turned and opened the door, letting Mads step out of their sanctuary first. He followed her. Both of them walked slowly, as if each of them were meeting a firing squad. All it was was reality, and that felt very heavy now.

  He reached for the door to the outside, paused, and looked into her beautiful, sad eyes. "I promise."

  He kissed her quickly, then opened the door. She moved toward her car, and he moved toward his. He waited until she started her car and drove toward her apartment. He started his car and followed her down the road until he turned off toward his home.

  Entering his house, he'd never felt more alive and lonelier at the same time. He pulled a notebook from the side table drawer and plopped down in an easy chair. To capture his feelings, he wrote a few words. He kept writing until his fingers cramped. He filled three pages and decided he'd better get some rest. Tomorrow, they had music to write, and he wanted to be on his game. And he was eager to see Mads again.

  Stretching, he stumbled to his bedroom and undressed. He almost took a shower, but the aroma of Maddyn's perfume on his shirt and skin changed his mind. He dropped onto the bed, pulling his t-shirt with him. Sniffing deeply, he closed his eyes as visions of making love to Maddyn replayed over and over in his head. He'd never had feelings like this about any other person in his life. His heart nearly broke as she drove away. His stomach knotted, and he decided they'd find a way to spend the night together from this point on. They'd keep their secret and still do what they both loved to do - make music, go on tour, and make good money.

  Chapter Ten

  Maddyn woke to the sound of someone trying to get into her apartment. Jumping out of bed, she rushed to the door. She saw the knob turning, but the lock didn't allow entry. She looked through the peephole and saw only the top of a baseball cap.

  "Who is it?" she called out. Her heart raced, and her stomach turned.

  The person on the other side of the door stopped trying to get in but didn't respond. She peered out again to see the top of the ball cap. Why would someone hide their face? The only answer that came to mind was that they were up to no good.

  "I asked who was out there," she said louder.

  The person stepped back. He wore a uniform of some sort. Dark blue, but not a cop. There was a name tag over the right pocket that was faded red, but it looked like it said ‘Bob’. The logo on the left side of the shirt said, AAA Heating and Cooling.

  "I'm sorry. I was told to come to this apartment and look at the furnace."

  "You have the wrong address."

  The man looked around at the door across the hall, then at her door again. "1982 North Howard Street, Apartment 4."

  "This is 1892 North Howard Street."

  His brows shot up, and his eyes rounded. "Oh, I'm so sorry."

  He walked away, and she waited until she heard the outside door close before she relaxed.

  She took a deep breath and allowed herself to glance at the clock above the stove. It was seven-thirty in the morning. What the hell? Most heating and cooling places didn't start until after eight.

  She turned on the coffee pot and went back to the bedroom to pull out clothes for the day. Excitement ran through her at the thought of seeing Axel, but dread did as well. She wasn't a talented actress. How should she act? As if nothing had happened? Like her whole life didn't change last night? She wasn’t a liar, and secrets were not normal for her. How could she do this?

  Taking a deep breath, she carried her clothes to the bathroom and jumped in the shower. She pulled her hair into a ponytail at the crown of her head, then applied her makeup. Moving out to get herself a cup of coffee, she heard people in the hallway outside her door again. Blowing out a breath, she vowed to get more serious about finding her own place. She had a realtor looking for condos for her, but there weren't many in the area. The condos Quinn Kurtz built were for veterans, and she wasn't a veteran. So, she waited for one to become available or to be built.

  Pouring her cup of coffee, she neared her door and peeked out to see what the commotion was. A group of people stood talking in front of her door. Shaking her head, she sat on the sofa and sipped at her coffee.

  The noise outside her door quieted, and she prepared to eat a light breakfast, then get to the Barn. Her stomach rolled slightly at the thought of being in the room with Axel and not letting her feelings show. She remembered the first time she had had sex. She was eighteen, and she thought she was madly in love with her boyfriend, Tommy. They had sex in the back of his car. The next morning, she was sure her mom would know. She must look different, right? Did it show? Was there something “different” about her now? Her mom came into the kitchen and said, "Good morning. Did you have a good time last night?"

  Her face turned five shades of red. She knew. Everyone knew a “good time” meant you had sex, didn't they? She replied to her mom, "Yeah. It was nice."

  "What did you do?"

  She froze. What did she do? She had sex with Tommy! Couldn't she see that?

  The answer was no. She couldn't see it. Nothing looked different about her. She hadn't sprouted a sign on her back that said, "I lost my virginity to Tommy last night." No one at school could tell, and she remembered thinking that they should be able to notice something. Right?

  Then she went to her locker and saw Tommy. He was talking to Alison, the school slut, who was touching his arm and smiling so sweetly at him. Maddyn marched right over and said, "Hi. What's going on?"

  Tommy shot her a dirty look, slammed his locker closed, and marched off. Alison right behind him. Later that day, after school, she waited for Tommy to come over like he had for the past couple of months, but he didn't show up.

  Her mom asked, "Where's Tommy today?"

  Maddyn sucked in a deep breath and shook her head. "I don't know."

  "Did something happen between you?"

  Oh, it sure did. But what Maddyn thought was love, Tommy took as conquest. Right now, he was likely conquering Alison. "No, I think we broke up."

  "You think? What makes you think that?"

  Maddyn shrugged. "I'm guessing the fact that he was flirting with Alison today at school means he's moved on.”

  Her mom came and sat next to her on the sofa. "Oh, honey, I'm so sorry."

  She shrugged, swallowed back the tears, and said, "It's okay."

  "I have to pick up your dad's dry cleaning before he gets home. Do you want to come with me?"

  "No, thank you."

  "I'll be back soon. We can chat more then."

  Her mom rushed out the door, and she went up to her room and cried. Then, she squared her shoulders and vowed not to be a sap ever again. Hopefully, last night she hadn't made herself a conquest, because Tommy was fairly easy to get over. Axel? He'd be hard. So very hard to get over. Plus, she'd still have to see him daily and with a new woman on his arm from time to time. That would suck.