“What, you don’t see the family resemblance?” James sneers and I elbow him in his ribs.

  “I’ll see you next semester, Gab,” Miles says awkwardly before leaning down and hugging me again. He’s well over six feet to my five-foot-four, so he towers over me just as James does. He’s out the door without so much as another glance back and I turn my annoyed eyes to James.

  “Really? Why do you have to be like that?”

  “Like what? An overprotective brother looking out for his sister? The guy is a douche, Gab.” He rolls his blue eyes and runs a hand through his dark brown hair. He has a dusting of facial hair along his sharp jaw and I note that it’s a little longer than usual.

  “You talked to him for like four seconds!” I say as he grabs my backpack and laptop to carry and follows me out of the library into the blistering cold New York air. Flurries of snow begin to pepper the sidewalk and I hope we’re not in for a mountain of snow until we’re able to make it home. “Fuck, it’s freezing,” I say pulling my gloves out of my pocket and sliding them on.

  “And in those four seconds, he spent two of them trying to pry his foot out of his mouth. You like that joker?”

  “I have one class with him, James, and I’ve worked with him on a few projects. But no, I don’t like him. I don’t like anyone.” Except you, my mind adds and I’m grateful to see his black BMW sitting double parked outside of the library.

  I skip over towards it and frown when I realize it’s locked. “Open!” I yell and he moves past me, pushing me gently out of the way, and opens the door for me. “Always such a gentleman.”

  “For you? Always.” He smirks and I narrow my eyes curiously as he makes his way around the car. Was that flirting?

  He gets in the car and turns my seat warmer before pulling my hands between his, rubbing them to warm them. “I think it’s supposed to snow really bad this weekend, but we should get out before then. I’m monitoring the weather.”

  I nod just as a sexy thought floats through my mind about being stranded in New York in James’ penthouse all alone for the foreseeable future. I swallow at the thought of losing my virginity in front of a roaring fire as snow pours just outside the window. My parents wouldn’t worry because I’m with my very protective and responsible older brother.

  Not happening, Gabrielle.

  “Have you talked to Monica?” I ask, wondering if my older sister will have any trouble getting home from Boston. She was in her final year of medical school at Harvard—we’re a family of overachievers, and she is actually coming home for the first time this year. I’d gone to visit her once or twice over the summer but it’s been at least five months since I’ve seen her, not counting FaceTimes. I miss her so much and I can’t wait to hug her.

  “This morning. Her train is still on time and Dad is going to pick her up tomorrow, I think. Their storm is due to start a little earlier.”

  “Christmas is in six days; I can’t believe she’s coming home this early.”

  “I can’t believe she’s stuck it out this long.” He chuckles as we zoom through the somewhat empty New York streets. It’s late and most students have either left for the semester, are studying or partying, making the streets a little less congested than usual. We make it to his building in about five minutes and he pulls into the garage beneath. “You still remember my codes?” he asks me as he moves into the garage and the gate closes behind us.

  “How could I forget? It’s my birthday,” I tell him and something spikes in my heart at the memory.

  He parks in his usual spot and grabs his briefcase and what I assume to be a gym bag out of the back before grabbing my things as well, then ushers me into the waiting area for the elevators.

  “So, what did you mean when you said you don’t like anyone? There’s no one at Columbia catching your attention?” he asks as we ascend to his apartment on the fourteenth floor.

  I shake my head. “Nope,” I tell him as I pop the p.

  “No guys sniffing around trying to take you out. Maybe a nice guy in accounting? Or pre-med? Stay away from the frat guys, Gab. They ain’t shit.”

  “You were a frat guy, James.” I chuckle as he leads me out of the elevator.

  “And I wasn’t shit in college.” He laughs and jealousy flares in my veins thinking about what he could possibly mean. I mean I know he was far from a virgin, but I’d rather not think about him sleeping with anyone in a skirt while he was in college.

  “That’s not true. You’ve always been the best big brother.”

  “Big brother yes, boyfriend, no.” He unlocks his door and lets me in. I immediately toe off my boots, and take off my jacket, hanging it on the rack next to the door. I’m wearing skin-tight leggings tucked into my fuzzy red and white striped socks and a somewhat oversized Columbia sweatshirt.

  When I look up, I see James staring at me and I frown wondering what he’s looking at. “What?”

  He shakes his head, but just before that I see a look I don’t recognize then it’s gone before I can pinpoint if I’ve seen it on anyone else before. “Make yourself at home, why don’t ya.” He laughs and I nod.

  “I shall.” I pull my sweatshirt up off over my head leaving me in a tiny t-shirt because James likes to leave the thermostat a few degrees above Hell at all times.

  The t-shirt is tight, showing off the curves of my C cup breasts and my leggings hug the curve of my ass and my thick thighs. Thighs I used to hate and wish were smaller until I got to college and realized that not everyone is a size zero. I learned to embrace them. And the male attention I got didn’t suck either.

  James chuckles as he makes his way into the kitchen and I trail behind him. “What’s so funny?” I ask as I hop on his counter and hold my hand out, waiting for him to hand me a drink. Preferably a glass of wine.

  “Nothing,” he says before handing me a glass of water. I look down at the non-alcoholic beverage and then up at him and give him a look he must read because he chuckles.

  “What?”

  He cocks an eyebrow at me and those full lips I’ve fantasized about sliding my tongue between curl into a smirk. “You’re here to study, not party.”

  I snap out of it, knowing James will pick up if I’m feeling off, so I turn on my usual sarcasm. “One glass of wine is a party? Remind me to never ask you to plan one for me.”

  “I planned your eighteenth and your graduation party so you can fuck off.” He points at me as he pulls the Chinese food out of the refrigerator and some plates from his cabinet.

  “Mom planned both,” I correct him.

  “Mom had afternoon tea and a day at the spa planned for you and your friends before I intervened.”

  “I like tea!” I counter because I do actually like having tea with my mother and her friends. Monica was never into it but I felt so classy, like I was on that Netflix show Bridgerton.

  “Yeah, and you liked the White Claws that you drank out on my friend’s boat as we cruised around the lake, better.” Despite my love for tea, it was more fun. James convinced his friend to let me and seven of my girlfriends take over his boat for a day. It was fun for many reasons, the biggest being any time I can see James shirtless is a win, and at one point, he and his friend jumped off the boat. And while three of my friends ended up puking from one too many drinks, it was pretty great.

  “Fair.” I watch as he spoons some food onto a plate for me and puts it in the microwave.

  “I know it’s better on the stove, but I’m starving, are you good with this?”

  “I’m an undergraduate student; I don’t even have access to a stove unless I go to the common room in the basement of my dorm or come here. Microwave is perfect.”

  Twenty minutes later, after he’s changed into more comfortable clothes, we’re in his living room watching some movie about the end of the world. Well, he’s watching. I’m alternating between eating and trying to read over my notes for the hundredth time. He’s on the couch behind me and I’m sitting on the floor in front of the coffee table with my books littering the space.

  Silence fills the room and when I look up, I realize he’s muted the television. “Gab, is this distracting you? I know you need to study.”

  “No!” I say it a little quicker than I intended, but I don’t want him to leave. I liked being here with him even if I’m studying and he’s watching a movie. I just wanted to be in his space. I pick up the white carton and pull some rice to my lips.

  “As many times as we’ve had Chinese food together and you’re still using a fork,” he says as he pulls the noodles to his full lips with chopsticks.

  “We can’t all be perfect,” I tell him with a middle finger and a cheesy smile that I know makes my dimples pop out.

  A smile pulls at his lips but I can see it completely in his eyes. “You are perfect, Gab.” He holds out his chopsticks for me to try. I grab them out of his hands and do my best to grab a hold of a piece of orange chicken. But after three times of it falling off, I just stab it like I would use a fork and bring one chopstick to my lips and eat the chicken. I let my lips linger around the stick, my body hyper aware that this was previously in his mouth. I share drinks and utensils with Monica and my mother all the time, and even my father a time or two, but the times I have with James, those were different.

  He laughs and takes them back from me, shaking his head the whole time, and I watch in fascination as he takes a bite of his noodles again with the chopstick that had just been in my mouth.

  An hour later, my head is resting in James’ lap as he strokes my hair. “You’re not worried about your exam, are you? Don’t stress about it. You’ll be fine.” This is the first time we’ve been this close and it’s having a dizzying effect on me.

  “Huh?” I ask as I look up at him and his eyes drop to mine from the television.

  “Shit, were you sleeping? I’m sorry.” He runs his hand down my shoulder and rubs it gently. “Do you want to turn in? I know you have to be up early tomorrow.”

  “I wasn’t sleeping,” I tell him. “Just lost in thought.”

  “About your final?”

  About how much I’m enjoying this and how fucked up I am.

  “No.” I sit up. “Nothing important.”

  He frowns and runs a hand through his hair. “Since when don’t you tell me things? I thought we told each other everything.” I smile at how little he really knows. He’d freak if he knew about what I’m feeling every day. “I can see that mind moving a mile a minute. What’s going on?”

  “Seriously J, it’s nothing. But I am going to sleep, I think. It’s late and I want to get some rest before tomorrow. Would you mind giving me a lift to campus?”

  “You don’t even have to ask that, Gab. Of course. When do you want me to pick you up tomorrow?”

  “I can Uber over.” I stand up and stretch slightly before starting to gather my books so I don’t have to worry about it in the morning.

  He rolls his eyes. “Shut up. I’m leaving work early anyway and I know with the way you pack, you’ll be bringing your whole dorm room with you.”

  I chuckle at the thought that I notoriously overpack every time I travel.

  “Fine, I’ll text you, maybe around one?”

  “Okay.” He stands up and before I can think I’m engulfed in a hug. He wraps his arms tightly around me and I can feel him resting his chin on top of my head.

  “I love you, Gab.” Those four words, when used together by James Calloway, in that order makes me melt. My blood heats up and the space between my legs begins to thump painfully in need of a release. Fuck, I want to kiss him. Rub up against him. Make him come. Make me come.

  I want so much and I can’t have any of it so as calmly as I can, I respond, “I love you too, J.”

  I’m safely behind the door of James’ guest room for about two seconds before I’m lying on the bed with my hand inside of my panties. I’m too riled up to sleep now, after my mind went through a million scenarios of what could have happened after he uttered those words.

  Would it be the worst thing to tell him?

  What’s the worst that could happen?

  I sit up, staring at my phone, briefly wondering if I should text him.

  No no no fuck no. You’re thinking with your clitoris and it’s going to get you in deep trouble. You need to come NOW.

  I close my eyes and focus on the ache between my legs when it starts to build. A whimper leaves my lips and I slap a hand over my mouth before blindly reaching for a pillow to bite down on. I grab one, pulling it over my face as I continue to grind against my hand. I pull my clit in between my two fingers and roll it. I think about FaceTiming him while I do this. I think about him one room over completely oblivious to the fact that his little sister is rubbing her pussy while wicked thoughts of him float through her mind.

  I love you, Gab.

  A moan rumbles at the back of my throat but I don’t dare let it escape as I bite down hard on my bottom lip as the orgasm zips up my spine. I turn over on my stomach at the peak of the high and ride out the rest of it as I hump against my hand wishing like hell it was James’ cock. Wishing that my clit was rubbing against him and not my palm. The orgasm subsides and just like always I’m left frustrated and ashamed over my carnal thoughts.

  I can’t have James and I just needed to get over it.

  “Gab, stop freaking out. Just drive.” James tells me as I pull out onto the main road, my heart feeling like it could pound out of my chest. I all but begged mom or dad to teach me to drive, but James wouldn’t hear of it. “No one is teaching her to drive but me.” I’m sure my parents both being terrible drivers contributed to it, but it made me nervous as fuck that James was in the car with me for the first time. I just turned sixteen and not only has my crush on James grown by the power of ten in the last few months but now he’s here, in this confined space with me smelling like sex and sin while I’m trying to concentrate on not crashing his new BMW. Seriously? Who did I piss off up there to put me in my own personal hell?

  “I’m nervous, J. Give me a break.”

  He points ahead of us. “It gets easier with practice. I’m right here with you. Do you think I’d ever let anything bad happen? You’re doing fine, just breathe.”

  I let out a deep sigh, trying to calm not only my nerves but my hormones and the pounding between my legs over being in this enclosed space with the man that’s starred in all of my fantasies for the past three years.

  My eyes fly open, waking me from a deep sleep and I smile at the memory of James teaching me how to drive two years ago. He’d come home from New York for a week to help me prepare for my driving test and even came home the day I took it. He went with me to the exam and then took me out to dinner to celebrate when I passed. Even then, I knew how sweet and amazing that was because who used their vacation time to help teach their little sister to drive? I sit up in bed and bite my bottom lip, trying to conjure a sexy scenario that has us turning one of those driving lessons into a different kind of ride.

  Great. I need to come again, now.

  The next morning, I wake to the sound of my alarm blaring through the room. I’m one of those people that set their alarm for the last possible second leaving no time for the snooze button, so I hop up quickly and move to the bathroom in the hall. I’m in the shower when the thoughts of last night come flooding back. Did I really consider confessing the truth? I have got to get these feelings under control. Gabrielle, you’re eighteen and James is thirty. Even if he wasn’t your brother, what makes you think he’d be interested in you? You’re in your freshman year of college and he’s climbing the ranks of a Fortune 500 company. He has his own apartment and lives by himself. You live in a dormitory with a roommate.

  He’s your brother.

  You’re his sister.

  It’s incest.

  Sort of?

  You could never.

  He would never.

  It isn’t natural.

  And yet, loving him feels as natural as breathing.

  I head out of the bathroom, my towel wrapped firmly around me and my shower cap still planted on my head when James all but runs past me towards the kitchen. I can smell that he’s showered, and I take a deep breath, inhaling the sexy scent. I frown when he doesn’t even utter a hello, but I shrug it off knowing that James is even more useless than I am without at least one cup of coffee.

  “Make me one, splash of cream no sugar please!” I call after him as I move into the guest room to get ready for the day. I’m surprisingly not nervous about the exam, but my nerves are still all over the place about last night. After pulling on a pair of tights and a plaid tight mini skirt paired with an oversized sweater, I run my straightener I keep at his apartment over my tresses a few times before running my hands through it. I apply my usual makeup, spending a little extra time on my mascara to make my lashes appear even longer before heading into the kitchen where I see James completely dressed. He’s wearing a navy suit with a white button down shirt and a vest underneath as well as a tie. I try my hardest not to bite my lip in response to the lust coursing through me over how handsome he looks. Not to mention the confidence he exudes which is just as sexy.

  “You look nice.” Understatement of the century. I set my bag on the counter and grab the coffee that he made for me.

  “Thanks.” He grunts without looking up from his phone and I narrow my gaze at the fact. If James and I are in the same room, his focus is usually on me. So for him to not even look up when he’s talking to me? Weird.

  “You okay?” I ask him, and part of me hates that I feel the need to ask. He’s your brother, not your man. Who cares if he’s in a mood or woke up on the wrong side of the bed or whatever the fuck?

  His eyes dart up to meet mine and I see a small smile pulls at his lips. “Yes Gab, fine. Just a lot on my mind.”

  I’m slightly appeased by his answer and although I want to press him, I know right before my toughest exam of the semester is not the time.

  “If you can’t take me—” I start and he scoffs before the sentence even leaves my mouth.

  “Gab, stop.”