We kissed for another hour, our kisses almost frantic, before Sara called us, wondering where in God’s name we were, with an edge to her voice that let us know she knew exactly what we were doing and she was not happy about it.

  He pulls his shirt off, exposing his bare chest, and before I can say anything, he’s pulled it over my head.

  “I can’t fucking focus with you naked in my lap, and I’d like to pay attention to the words coming out of your mouth and not how badly I want to suck on your tits.” He presses his lips to my shoulder just as I feel a vibration underneath my butt. He moves me slightly, squeezing my naked ass in the process, and I giggle before my eyes drop to his phone, where I see Mom on the screen.

  “Hey, Mom,” he says before I can ask if he’s planning to answer it. He puts it on speakerphone, but I don’t say anything in case he doesn’t want to tell her that he’s with me at eight in the morning.

  “Hi, honey, how are you doing?”

  “I’m good. I’m with Saint,” he says immediately.

  She doesn’t say anything at first, and I wonder if she’s going to ask how long he’s been with me. “I thought you would be. How is she?”

  “You can ask her yourself, you’re on speaker.”

  “Hey, Sara.”

  “Hi, Halle. Are you doing alright?” Even though her voice is light and airy, I’m still expecting her to ask why Wild and I are together so early in the morning with a layer of judgment hidden underneath it.

  “I’m fine,” I answer politely, not wanting to give up more than that.

  “Good. Are you going to come down this weekend?”

  “I’m not sure,” I say just as Wild says, “She’s thinking about it.”

  “Well, everyone would love to see you, and I know Sebastian loves any excuse to be around you.” I frown because that is certainly not the tune she was humming throughout my entire childhood. “Mike also can’t wait to meet you.”

  “Right, I know I need to meet him.” I do feel some level of guilt that my stepmom has been dating someone for almost two years and is now getting married, and I’ve only met him through FaceTime a few times. “How are you?”

  “I’m good. I stopped by the cemetery this morning, and now I’m going to have lunch with Elana.”

  “Tell her I said hi,” I tell her.

  “Brant is home, actually. He asked about you.” Sara chuckles, and Wild stiffens beneath me.

  “Still? He hasn’t gotten the hint that she’s not interested?” Wild says, but I can hear the edge in his voice, like maybe somehow, he missed that I might actually be interested in the boy next door when I’ve spent my entire life being obsessed with the boy one bedroom over.

  “That was years ago. He just asked how you were, Halle, and if you were liking New York.”

  “Well, tell him I’m good.”

  “Alright, well, I just wanted to check on you. You guys have a good day. Hopefully, you get out and do something fun.”

  “Yep, we have a day full of plans.” Wild bites down on my shoulder, and I slap a hand over my mouth to stop myself from yelping. I glower at him, and he winks.

  “Alright, bye, guys. I love you.”

  “Love you too,” Wild says, and again, I don’t say anything. He looks at me for a moment before he gives me a sad smile. “Bye, Mom.”

  We’d had the conversation before about my reluctance to tell Sara I love her, and I really don’t want to get into it now. He wraps his arms around me and squeezes.

  “Does she know that we still spend today this way?”

  “I think she assumes.”

  “How do you feel about that?” I ask him.

  “I guess I’ll see when I go to North Carolina.” He presses another kiss to my shoulder. I’ve missed this. Being in his lap and all of the affection he showers me with. It’s like he can’t keep his hands or lips off me.

  Once, after we’d started fooling around, Sara walked into the living room just as he was nuzzling my neck while I was in his lap, and that led to an hour-long lecture from her about what was no longer appropriate. This led to me sobbing for two hours and then Wild telling me I could always sit in his lap, so long as Sara wasn’t around.

  “Come with me.”

  “To North Carolina?”

  He nods. “We could talk to Mom together.”

  “About…”

  “You and me.”

  My eyes widen because I hadn’t expected that. “I thought…I just got the feeling last night that maybe you didn’t want…”

  He shakes his head. “I want you, Saint. I’ve always wanted this and us. I’ve been in love with you since we were kids.” He swallows, and my heart bursts hearing my favorite words when uttered from Sebastian Wilder’s mouth. “You’re right. A lifetime is a long time, and I don’t want to do it without you. I can’t be without you anymore. This past year, when we weren’t talking…” He clears his throat and pulls my hand to his lips. “I was barely getting by.” Hurt fills me when I hear he was in the same amount of pain I was in. “But there are some obstacles. More than just my mom and our family.”

  “Your job?”

  He nods. “I never expected to reach this level of success and now…” He trails off. “Everyone knows who you are to me. You ready for”—he lets out a breath—“a lot of unwanted opinions?”

  I swallow, thinking about how I felt hearing Sara say some of the things she said growing up that were more told out of love and concern than malice or judgment.

  Okay, there was definitely some judgment, but I like to think she hadn’t meant to be hurtful.

  I can’t imagine how I’ll feel about people I don’t know giving their opinions. “Are you ready for them?”

  He rubs his lip, and I can see the uncertainty in his eyes. “I’m less ready for the alternative, which is a life when you and I aren’t together. I told you a really long time ago that you deserve the world, and I want you to be happy, and I’m realizing that the only way to be sure you are is if I handle it myself.”

  “What if you moved the firm? Maybe somewhere you’re not as well-known?” I offer.

  “Leaving Seattle would definitely avoid the opinions of some people, but a simple search of my name will lead to the same discourse anywhere I go.”

  “We are just stepsiblings, and technically, we aren’t anymore. People love the movie Clueless for God’s sake.” I roll my eyes.

  He laughs. “True, but weren’t they not raised together, and their parents were only married for a few years?”

  “Our parents were only married for a few years,” I whisper sadly as I recall what little time my father had with Sara. How little time I had with him.

  “My first argument still stands.” He turns me around to face him, forcing me to straddle his waist, opening up my bare sex. “If we hadn’t been in each other's lives for over twenty years, I don’t think anyone would have a problem. The problem is that we were raised like biological siblings. I mean, you’re like my adopted sister.”

  “Sara didn’t adopt—"

  “Semantics, Halle,” he says before his lips form a straight line. “We were raised in the same house by the same person.”

  I tense at the use of my name and let out a sigh. “Well, this is the situation we are in, so my question remains. Are you ready for this?”

  “Come with me to North Carolina tomorrow. We can talk to Mom.”

  I bite my bottom lip while I contemplate this. “I have to be back by Monday for class on Tuesday.”

  He picks up his phone, and with one hand still wrapped around me, he forwards his flight itinerary to me. I frown.

  “I bought two tickets.”

  I raise an eyebrow at him, and he gives me an innocent look.

  “You knew I’d give in, did you?”

  “I know you’ll do just about anything for more time with me.” He grins despite the scowl I know is on my face. “Even if you stayed at a hotel, I was getting you on that plane.”

  “What if I said no?”

  He shrugs. “No skin off my back either way. I usually buy the seat next to mine in first class anyway. I don’t want to be bothered talking to anyone.”

  “Well, that’s kind of a dick move.”

  “Oh? And how would you feel if some woman spent six hours flirting with me at thirty thousand feet?”

  A tinge of jealousy flares up, but all I care about is how he’d handle it. “Are you flirting back?”

  He scrubs his jaw and looks up like he’s thinking. “I don’t know. Is she hot?”

  My mouth drops open as anger flashes through me. I go to move off him when he grips my hips, keeping me in place. “Stop,” he says, and one hand moves, running his finger through my slit, stroking my clit once, very effectively keeping me in place. “I don’t flirt with anyone but you.”

  “And Madison Jenner,” I argue.

  He groans, letting his head tilt back. “Walked right into that, didn’t I? Are you ever going to let that go? We were in high school, and I was trying to get back at you for flirting with that asshole, whatever the fuck his name was.”

  I roll my eyes because he knows exactly what his name was. “I was only flirting with him because there was a rumor going around that you hooked up with Madison and were asking her to prom!”

  “And did I? Hook up with her or ask her to prom?” He blinks at me.

  “No,” I say quietly with a pout on my face.

  “What was that?” he asks, putting his face closer to my lips.

  “No.”

  “And who did I spend my prom night making love to in a hotel?”

  “Me.” I try my best not to smile, but the memory forces my lips upward.

  It was his junior prom, meaning I was still a sophomore. I couldn’t go unless a junior asked me, and since it would have been weird for my stepbrother slash secret boyfriend to bring me, and no guy had the balls to ask me out because of said stepbrother, I couldn’t go. But he told me to make plans to sleep over at my friend’s house, and two hours into his prom, he ditched his friends, picked me up, and took me to a hotel, where we’d defiled every inch of our room until the sun rose.

  That was one of the few times we didn’t get caught.

  “I’m going to look at private planes for the firm next month, so soon it won’t matter.”

  “Aren’t you fancy?” I smile before pressing my lips to his. “I’m so proud of you, Wild. Everything you’ve accomplished? Dad would be so proud of you.”

  He gives me a sad smile. “That’s all I’ve ever wanted to do. Make him proud.” He swallows before looking at me. “And you.”

  “No one is prouder of you than I am.” I press my lips to his gently before pulling back, but I keep my forehead pressed against his. “And he is, babe. Maybe he’s not thrilled at you corrupting his little princess”—I smirk—“but no one else could have kept me as safe as you have. He’s happy that I’ve had you in my life.”

  “And maybe that’s what’s prompting all of this.” He sighs as he leans back, and his covered dick pushes slightly through my slit. I whimper, and he smiles a bit before moving the plate from behind me and setting me on the table. He then props my feet on his thighs. “I can’t keep you safe from across the country.”

  “You’ve been doing okay so far.”

  “It’s not enough,” he practically growls, and I can see his anxiety rising. “I watch your fucking location like a hawk when I know you’re walking home from class.” He drags his hands up my thighs and squeezes. “The few times you go out?” He swallows and looks away. “I’ve actually hired someone to make sure you get home okay when you’re out late.”

  I gasp in shock. “What?”

  “There’s a guy.”

  I raise an eyebrow at him. “Like…a stalker?”

  He narrows his eyes at me playfully before rolling them. “Just someone to look out for you from time to time.”

  “You hired me a—”

  “Not officially, but I worry. I’ve always worried.” He rubs my calves gently, squeezing every few seconds. “You live in New York and…the fucking bodegas on every corner just remind me so much of…” He trails off, and I know exactly what he means. It reminds him of the small convenience store where my dad was killed. It’s why it took me a full six months to even go in one and why I have one of three I’ll go in, and I never deviate.

  When we were in college, he was my shadow on weekends whenever he could. He’d thrown an entire fit that I didn’t go to the University of North Carolina. Instead, I opted to attend Duke, their rival school. Not only were they less than twenty miles apart, but as much as I loved him, I wanted a life outside of my relationship with him. I knew if we went to the same school, we’d be attached at the hip just like we always were. Not to mention, it would be harder to hide the fact that we were stepsiblings. Going to a different school allowed me to be a different person when I came to visit. We were three hours from our hometown, attending schools that the majority of our high school didn’t even have a prayer of getting into, so we were mostly safe to be Halle and Sebastian, the lovers and not the stepsiblings.

  He pulls me closer so my ass is on the edge of the table and looks up at me with a smirk.

  “Wild, you don’t need to worry about me so much. You taught me how to look out for myself.” I cup his face, running my thumb over his full lips before stroking the spiky bristles on his jaw. And he had. He made me take self-defense classes, a year of kickboxing, and even Krav Maga.

  “I hate that I haven’t been here to do it myself,” he murmurs. “We’ve been apart for four fucking years, Saint. And I hate it.”

  “You left first,” I tell him, reminding him that he was the one who fled to Seattle after graduation.

  “I know…I thought I was doing the right thing for us.” My heart thumps painfully in my chest at the memory. I was still a college senior, and he’d just graduated and was leaving. Our hometown. North Carolina. Me. I’d basically gotten on my hands and knees and begged him not to go. Not to leave me here alone, but he went anyway, telling me that he’d always be there for me but that we couldn’t be together in the real world. That we’d lived in the fantasy long enough, but no one would accept us.

  I was a wreck until he called me drunk two days later, telling me that he missed me and would always love me. That was the start of our long-distance relationship and the continuation of our yearly traditions on October seventh. In a way, Wild was right. We couldn’t keep doing this. It’s almost as if we’re frozen in time, unable to move on because that day is the only thing holding us together. It’s the only time we allow ourselves to give in to us, and it isn’t enough anymore.

  I want more, and from the looks and sounds of it, so does he.

  He moves my shirt up and spreads my thighs, exposing my bare pussy to him, and I watch as he runs his tongue over his bottom lip. “God, you have the prettiest fucking pussy.”

  “How would you know? You’ve only seen mine.” I run my hand through his hair and tug slightly. “Right?”

  “I’ve watched porn,” he says, not taking his eyes away from the space between my legs, almost as if he’s mesmerized.

  “Has it been hard?” He looks up at me, wanting me to continue, I guess. “Not sleeping with other women?”

  “No.” He shakes his head. “It’s easy when no one but you gets my dick hard.” My sex clenches, and his eyes lower immediately to the movement before he grins. “Your pussy liked that answer, huh?”

  “Shut up!” I squeal, trying to close my legs, but he holds them open, wrapping his large, warm hands around my thighs.

  “Saint, you’ve been sitting on my lap for the past twenty minutes with a bare cunt. Stop playing coy like you don’t know you’re about to come all over my tongue.”

  “Only if you agree to take your dick out and let me ride you after.”

  “We’ll see,” he says, already lowering his face toward the apex of my thighs.

  I frown. “We’ll see? You don’t want to fuck me?”

  He presses his lips to the inside of my thigh and nips lightly at the skin. “Only if you squirt all over my face first.”

  I groan even though my sex pulses at the memory because he loves it when he can make me do that. “Wild, you know I can’t just do that whenever you want it.”

  He looks up at me with a wicked grin that makes my heartbeat pound between my legs. “You can when you put your mind to it.” He takes a minute to run his fingers over my tattoo on my hip. “Keep me wild,” he murmurs. “I’ve always wanted to keep you,” he whispers. “You are mine, Saint.”

  “I know.”

  He looks up at me, and I feel like we’ve been transported back to a time when we were just learning what we meant to each other. The looks and the touches and kisses underneath the dead of night when we prayed Sara would stay asleep while we discovered each other under his or my sheets. “Tell me you love me,” he grits out when he slides his fingers through my slit before licking his lips.

  “You know I do.”

  His other hand, not between my legs, grips my thigh tighter. “Say it.”

  “I love you.” He moves closer, and I put a hand over myself, stopping him from pressing his mouth to me. He looks up at me with a confused and slightly angry expression for interfering with what I know to be one of his favorite things to do. “Tell me you love me.”

  “You’re my light in the dark, Saint. I love you more than I love me.” I want to respond, but he removes my hand from between my legs, and then his mouth is on me. His hands slide between us, and he spreads my sex open so he can devour me. His tongue slides up and back, into my opening like he’s fucking me before moving upward and swirling around my clit.

  “Fuck me, Wild.” It’s barely been six hours since he last went down on me, and it’s like I’ve forgotten how good it feels. Absolutely nothing feels like his mouth between my legs. Or his dick. Or his fingers. Or even when he uses my vibrator on me. Being in this space with Wild is like nothing else in this world, and I think if I added up all the minutes I’ve spent fantasizing about it, it would be well over a year.