Justin hit him again and looked at me with an apologetic expression. “I often wonder how it is there’s still two of us. Shocking that someone hasn’t killed him yet, isn’t it?”

  Jared’s distracted gaze followed Rachel and the college-age sales guy discussing the importance of pink versus hot pink phones.

  Jared tossed the panic-inducing phone down and picked up a more reasonably priced, less Go-Go-Gadget one. “We’re having a celebration tomorrow. Katie should be on the road and gone for good by dinner. Come over and we’ll barbeque you a Hallelujah Burger.”

  Yeah, that’s really what I wanted to do. Not. “I don’t know. I think we may be doing something.”

  “Hey, Rachel,” Jared called to get her attention. “You doing something tomorrow or are you up for our Katie-has-been-vanquished barbeque?”

  “Barbeque. Tomorrow. Got it.”

  And with that, my day was planned and she’d moved on. I know we were used to following whatever cue she wanted, but would it have hurt to ask what I wanted to do?

  “Excellent.” Jared grinned and headed toward the pair at the counter.

  “It will be good to see Luke freed from the crazy princess’s clutches.”

  Justin looked so sincerely worried at the thought of his brother dealing with the evil pixie, that I reconsidered Luke’s maybe-stalker maybe-girlfriend guest. I mean, when I’d fallen he’d taken the time to get me home and clean me up. Maybe he wasn’t the one who needed to have the “what makes a good friend” discussion. Maybe it was me.

  The sales guy rang-up Rachel’s new Hot Sugar Pink phone as we joined them at the counter.

  “If you need any help setting that up, here’s my card.” He handed her a business card. I didn’t even know anyone with a business card. “My cell number’s on the back. Feel free to use that.”

  Jared slid up beside her, wrapping his arm around her waist. “Sorry, she’s spoken for.”

  Rachel’s head cocked up at him, and then she smiled at the sales guy. “Yup. Spoken for.”

  And that was that.

  Seriously.

  Forty minutes.

  How did I make everything so hard?

  Chapter 19

  All that Parker Family Fun Time had me missing my mom more than usual.

  Okay, so not true. I still missed her every day. But between the Parkerness going on and the fact that school was starting, the missing became epic.

  On the way home I had Rachel drop me off at the school so I could break back into the art room. When I missed my mom the most, I just wanted to paint. It’s how I’d started that hazy portrait of her that just kept calling me back.

  Sometimes as I painted, I talked as if she were there. And talked and talked. This was one of those times. I talked about everything. Chris and Luke. Rachel being away and coming home. Running and Art.

  And Dad. I talked a lot about Dad and how there were days I missed him even more than my mom in a weird way.

  Closing my eyes, I lifted the brush from the canvas. I could see her there with me in my mind.

  “I wish you were here, Mom. I could really use a parent right now.” I tried not to picture the look she would have given me. The cocked eyebrow. The quirked lip. “I know. But Dad’s never here. I miss him almost as much as I miss you.”

  I could almost hear her response. Well, Amy Nicole, wait up for him. Don’t let him hide. Try talking to him instead of just listening to him shuffle through the house. Tears stung my eyes as the voice I never forgot whispered through my heart. And don’t forget, he loves you. He loves you so much.

  When I left, I felt the keen reminder that I still had a parent, even if he’d gone AWOL. And, the new and improved, comes-out-of-the-shadows Amy was going to try to get him back.

  That night, heavy footfalls trudged up the stairs outside my bedroom door. I’d been waiting and it was time to spring… in a completely loving way, of course.

  “Hey, Dad?”

  He stopped, his body turned away toward his room. I saw the moment he wished he’d kept going before his shoulders kind of drooped—like defeat or something—before he lowered his briefcase to the floor and turned to face me.

  “Yes?”

  Okay. So. Yeah, not so promising.

  “I was wondering if I could talk to you for a minute.”

  A shoulder hitched up before he turned to face me. It’s not my fault he was coming in so late. If he wanted to look at his watch, go ahead. Whatever.

  “What about?”

  Here we go. I needed a parent. Not just any parent, but the one that was here. I needed my dad.

  “I wanted to talk about Mom—”

  He paled and his gaze turned out, past me. Not only was he not looking at me, but he didn’t even see me there. A big curtain of invisibility had fallen between us before I could even make my plea.

  “Amy, you know how I feel about that.”

  I did know. Mom was off limits. A non-topic. The day she died it was like a switch flicked in my dad. Like he had to make as if she’d almost never been… while I had to hold on tighter to her memory.

  “I just wanted to talk to you about—”

  His hand cut through the air. “Stop. We’re not going to rehash the past. There are things that are just—” The word died on his lips. He sucked in a breath. “Amy. It’s late. Some of us have to go to work tomorrow.”

  I almost said, Some of us choose to go to work and not talk to our daughters, but he was already edging away.

  He picked up his briefcase. “Go to bed.” His voice had softened, but his tone hadn’t.

  “But, Dad—”

  “Amy. Go to bed.”

  Before I could say another word, his door was closing. I should never have mentioned Mom, but I hadn’t known how else to start. How to get him to talk to me. How to make him love me again without her.

  I turned away from my own room, knowing I wouldn’t be sleeping for a while.

  Wandering downstairs, I headed toward the back porch where my paints were. But, as I turned the corner at the bottom of the stairs, the moon shining in the front window caught my attention and pulled me into the front room. Mom’s room. All the homey knick-knacks and comfy furniture still sprawled about in measured shambles of a well-loved, well-used room.

  The light illuminated the overstuffed loveseat in the corner where she used to read each afternoon as she waited for me to get home. Missing her more now and knowing I’d never get to my dad, I shuffled in and curled up on the chair. Pulling the hand-knitted afghan over my shoulders, I wrapped it around me, almost smelling her there with me—and tried to fall asleep.

  I guess there really is something to being with your mom, because just when I thought I’d never sleep again, I was dreaming about oil colors blending on canvas.

  Chapter 20

  I slapped the alarm clock again, wondering why the sleep-piercing sound continued. Another ring jolted me before I realized it was my cell phone. Late nights and comfort chocolate did not make for a good Sunday morning.

  “Hello?” I croaked.

  “Babe, what are you doing tonight? I thought we could, you know, get our runs in together.”

  I shot up in bed and looked at the number on my cell. Sure enough, it said “Chris.”

  My heart dropped and then double-timed. Maybe his apology had been sincere. Maybe he really was trying. He was calling me. He wanted to be with me.

  Luke Parker was on the other side of town not trying.

  “Sure. I can go for a run today.”

  “Great. I was thinking, you know, we could go this evening, after it starts to cool down. Maybe talk a little?”

  “Yeah, that sounds—oh wait. No. I can’t go tonight.” I glanced at the clock. It was only quarter of eight. Who called at quarter of eight on a Sunday morning? “How about this morning before the day gets going?”

  “Yeah. No can do. I’ve got plans today. Just move whatever you’re doing tonight.”

  I glanced at the clock again as if the time could shift and we could fit everything in.

  “I don’t think I can.”

  I thought about Rachel and Jared and their newfound relationship. If I didn’t go tonight, I could miss the whole thing knowing how quickly those two made decisions… or she could run off and elope with him. Where was the nearest state that wed people over sixteen without parental consult?

  And I’d promised Justin. He was convinced if I saw Luke again without Katie—now that I had the whole story Justin-style—I’d be as instantly in love as Rachel.

  Of course, instant love usually led to instant unlove—especially in Rachel’s case. She wasn’t exactly a relationship-role model. Dating expert? Yes. Lasting past week three? Not so much. Not that I was looking for either with Luke.

  Luke was too confusing, too overwhelming. It didn’t matter what I felt around him, because those feelings had to be him swamping me with new emotions. Not like with Chris. Anything I thought I felt for Luke didn’t have the long-term constancy of how I felt about Chris.

  But, the thought of Luke and that Fury’s tiny-little perfect fists pounding on his chest yesterday suddenly had me angry enough to want to check on him. To make sure his Mr. Manners routine hadn’t let her bruise him up.

  Luke Parker. Crap.

  “Come on, babe. What could be more important than us hanging out?” It had to be my imagination, but I thought I heard a slight whine in his voice.

  “I actually have a party to go to. I just got invited last night.” I tried to shrug it off. “You know, one of those last minute things.”

  “A party?”

  Was he confused or just surprised I’d been invited to one. I mean, it was his fault I hadn’t gone to Ben’s pool party.

  “You know,” I kept talking. “Just a barbeque.”

  “Where?”

  I thought of lying and saying it was Rachel’s thing. I mean, anyone would believe that. Rachel was the social one, constantly dragging me places. People didn’t think it was weird I was there because they didn’t notice I was there.

  “Actually, Justin Parker invited me. I don’t think you know him. He plays baseball.”

  There was a really long pause. You know, the kind that makes you want to say, “Hello?” even though you’re ninety-nine percent sure the other person is still there.

  I tried to picture Chris on the phone piecing everything together. Was he angry? Annoyed? I’d told him I wasn’t hanging out with Luke and technically that was true. But of course he’d be there, I mean it was at his house and all.

  “Parker as in Luke?”

  In the background, I heard a car horn.

  “Yeah. Justin’s his brother.”

  “So, you’re going to be hanging out at Parker’s house?”

  The horn sounded over his phone again.

  “Well, yeah. That’s where the barbeque is.”

  “Babe—” The horn blared, someone was laying on it now and not letting up. The neighbors must love them. I heard the squeaking of a screen door and Chris shouting, the phone still inches from his mouth. “Hang on, alright? I’ve got someone on the phone.”

  The door slammed shut and he was back. “You know, I thought you said you weren’t hanging out with Parker.”

  “I’m not. I’m hanging out with Justin.”

  “Amy.” I could hear the frustration in his voice. “He’s probably sucked his brother into helping him get on the team by getting on your good side. They’re going to try to get info out of you and twist you into helping him get the spot on the team.”

  “No. It isn’t like that. Justin and Jared invited us on the spot after dinner last night while we were shopping for a phone for Rachel.”

  “Who the hell is Jared?”

  “Justin’s twin. It was just one of those spur of the moment things after dinner.”

  “Wait, you had dinner with these guys?”

  “Not really. They joined us when we were done. And then, you know, walked us to the plaza. ”

  Even I realized that was starting to sound like one of those non-date date things.

  “Chris, it was just an accidental meet-up and invite.” I had a quick flash of why am I defending myself followed by a steady wave of just keep the peace. “It’s not like—”

  “Are you almost ready?” The voice in the background was very clearly female. Very clearly Cheryl.

  I suddenly felt less than a dire need to explain. Far less. Actually, I was beginning to wonder if maybe I should be the one demanding answers.

  And then I thought, Why bother?

  “So, it’s no big deal. You go do whatever it is you and Cheryl are doing and I’ll see you tomorrow at the scrimmage.”

  I heard the muffled sound of his phone being covered and voices… annoyed voices.

  “I have to go, but let’s talk about this. Monday. After the scrimmage.”

  It wasn’t even a question.

  “I may be hanging out with Rachel.”

  “Don’t be like that—”

  “Chris,” the whine sounded over the phone again. “We’re going to be late. Can’t you talk in the car?”

  “You know what, fine. Monday.” I answered as if I was there with them. “I really have to get my run in this morning. You guys have fun.”

  “Ah…”

  I took that as “Okay. Thanks. You too,” and hung up.

  I don’t know if my inner diva was coming out, but it felt good to assert myself. Even if I’d been a little rude.

  And besides, I was looking forward to going to the Parkers’. The twins were fun, Tom was my boy and—as much as I hated to admit it—I wouldn’t say no to another mom-hug from Mrs. Parker.

  It was time to stop putting everything on hold for a guy who may or may not have a girlfriend. Actually, for either guy who may or may not have a girlfriend. It was becoming apparent my power of invisibility was beginning to fail—well, with people not related to me—so, I might as well start having a life of my own.

  Chapter 21

  Perky McPerky—I’m sorry, Rachel—picked me up early that evening. She busted in and changed my hair, clothes, and lack of makeup in a twirl-a-whirl of fashion the cast of What Not To Wear would have been proud of. All the while overflowing with excited happiness. And why wouldn’t she? She was in the middle of one of her love-at-first sight binges. On top of that, she’d actually managed to fall for a guy who did the same thing.

  The drive to the Parkers’ consisted of a rapid-fire interrogation about Jared and his family between lip gloss reapplications. I doubt I could have told her anything she hadn’t already learned since it sounded like she’d spent most of the day either on the phone with Jared, IMing Jared, texting Jared, or Twittering about Jared.

  And the best news? Katie’s parents really had shown up to claim her.

  I almost wish we had been there for that. I had to wonder what kind of parents raised a girl who appeared so perfect, but was really just a fruitcake looking for a Bundt pan to cling to.

  Jared met us at the door, barefoot, tan and taller than Rachel. I guess I could see the appeal. He had the Parker lopsided smile thing waiting for her and she lit up at it.

  “We’re all out back.” Jared flashed that grin at me. “And free. Free, I tell you!”

  Rachel laughed and slid her hand into his as I followed them through the house. On the porch, Mr. Parker manned the grill while Tom helped. And when I say helped, I basically mean repetitively flipping hamburgers that were still raw.

  On the lawn, Justin and Luke tossed a ball back and forth, shouting for Tom to actually cook something.

  “Hey! Your date’s here.” Jared slid a glance at me before finishing his declaration, “Justin.”

  Justin waved absently as he dove for a ball too far out of reach and dashed to get it before Luke could throw another one his way. Luke scowled at me. No surprise there.

  But it was Tom who made me feel welcome.

  “Amy!” I’d never heard my name sound so enthusiastic as he threw himself at me and wrapped his skinny, little arms around my waist. “Guess what I’ve been doing?”

  “What’s that, bud?” I cringed at the nickname Luke used for him.

  “I’ve been running.” His grin sculpted his face, full and a tad bit lopsided. “I can get four mailboxes before it gets hard. And then I count three more steps. Just like you do.”

  “That’s great Tom. All you have to do is up your distance a little once in a while and you’ll be running 5Ks in no time.”

  “Want to run down there with me?” He looked so excited, I considered kicking my shoes off and doing it in my bare feet.

  “Thomas, she’s a guest and not dressed for running.”

  Everyone’s gaze fell to my flip-flops, but it was Luke’s I felt. I thought my legs were on fire from him scowling at them.

  I glanced down at the outfit Rachel had put me in before letting me out the door. Every stitch of visible clothing was hers. Miniskirt, baby tee, matching flip-flops.

  And Luke was still scowling at my legs.

  “What?” I was finding I could scowl too.

  “I’ve never seen you in a skirt before.”

  “It would be stupid to wear this to tryouts.”

  “Most girls would.” He stepped up on the deck and stared down at me. His eyes taking in the things I was hiding—the things I didn’t even know I was hiding—his voice coming low in my ear as he leaned in my direction. “So, just how many guys are you dating now?”

  “You know Jared was kidding.” I angled my head enough to face him. “How many girls are you expecting to run away from home to be with you this weekend?”

  He shook his head and bounded down the stairs, back to the game that made slightly more sense than my life at the moment.

  Rachel shifted her sunglasses from specs to headband, her hair adjusting and flowing around it perfectly. “Maybe he and Chris aren’t the ones who need to work on getting along.”

  I sat in the lawn chair next to her, trying not to roll my eyes as she clapped when Jared caught the ball. “He’s aiming for a baseball scholarship. That was not cheer worthy.”